Tainted by Crazy

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by Abby Mccarthy


  He was always so observant. “Nothing to worry about love.” I smiled even though I was uncomfortable.

  Bobby laughed and it echoed. My baby in my womb moved and I could see a leg as it seemed to move from one side of my stomach to the other. “Settle,” I whispered.

  Kathy smiled seeing my baby in my belly so active. I sat back, lifted my feet up on the chair across from me, set a pillow behind my back and smiled.

  The sun shined rays of light through the backyard and I realized right then, that I was never tainted by my momma’s craziness. My past helped me see life through colored lenses. My life was painted with so many hues of wonderful, I could only surmise that it was because of my past, I was the woman I was today--the woman who had truly found happiness. So, as I watched my little boy fill a basket of apples with his Poppa, at the same time my husband sat down beside me with a glass of lemonade I knew the women who molded me were shining down on us. This was what living was about. It was all mine, and I vowed to be like Momma and Grams and teach my children what it meant to be strong.

  I hope you have enjoyed Tainted by Crazy. It is different from my other series in a lot of ways, however, it’s very much me. If you read Fight You, then hopefully you saw some background information about myself. Well, Maple’s story is in so many ways, my story. I was raised by a mentally ill addict, who did indeed lose her mind this year. She was diagnosed with Dementia, and then she recovered, only to relapse on drugs again. I too was overly-exposed to sex at an extremely young age. Although, the scene in Tainted by Crazy is fictional, the fact that I never not knew what sex is, was not. One of the flashbacks to crazy is my earliest childhood memory. And if something feels raw or real, then it just might be.

  I wrote TBC for me, as much as I did it for you. TBC is for anyone who has loved someone, who is mentally ill or a drug addict. Because it’s just as hard for the people who love someone, as it is for the people who are ill. For me, my Mom would have long periods of time where things were good, so I wanted that and turned a blind eye when they were bad. Why?? Because love is unconditional, but the most natural love in the world is the one I was ignoring; the love for myself. It took me a long time to understand my worth because I always craved love. This book, for me, is about growing as a woman and learning to thrive because of my past, not in spite of it.

  Thank you, so much for taking the time to read Tainted by Crazy. I love hearing from readers and if you have enjoyed this, I’d love to hear from you. Thank you to all of the wonderful women in my Facebook Group, Abby’s Awesome Allies. I love your support. Thank you Hang Le for being so amazing and professional. Thank you JB McGee for formatting. Thank you so much, Nicole Reid. You are an amazing editor, blog partner, and most importantly friend. Thank you my blog sisters. Louisa, I value you in my life more than you know and I can't wait until I can meet you! Thank you, Kerry Melton, Jade Grandi and Dawn Costiera. Thank you Emily Smith Kidman. Thank you Gossip Girls. Thank you Renee and Chrissy with Book Happiness. Thank you Cheryl. Thank You Lisa Hines. Thank you Erin Mikolic. Jessica and Shana, thank you for being the most amazing women in my world, since we were just girls. You both add so much color to my world and both show amazing strength, hilarity and sisterhood. To my family-especially my husband, thank you- you’ve been my rock and held me when I cried, thinking that was it for mom. You’re my Keenan Rys. I love you. Thank you Yara Greathouse for some great suggestions. Lastly thank you to all the amazing authors who put their heart and soul out there. My first love is reading and you inspire me every day.

  Make your favorite biscuits in the oven-I’m a Pillsbury gal

  Brown ½ lb. of ground sausage (you can brown all of it and freeze it for next time)

  In a separate pan melt 4 tablespoons of butter then

  Add 4 tablespoons of flour-whisk next

  Add 4 cups of milk over medium heat

  Continue to whisk so it doesn't get lumpy

  Add salt and plenty of pepper.

  Combine sausage-simmer

  Scramble eggs

  Finally, stack in this order-Biscuits-sausage gravy mix-scrambled eggs.

  Top with cheese-optional

  Grams would never give out this recipe. She swore Maple to secrecy. Just remember when peeling your apples save the cores and the peels.

  Depending on how many apple pieces you have left over will change how much sugar you use. If you have made a pie, and have about 6 apple cores and peels, place those in a jar with 1 cup of sugar and two cups of cold water. If you are using something bigger than a mason jar use more water and sugar. Cover with a cheesecloth and store in a dark place for three weeks. Uncover, drain the apple pie pieces and put liquid back into same container covered with the same cheesecloth, into the same dark place. Let it sit for an additional two to three months.

  Grease 9x13 glass pan

  Peel and slice apples. I like to use at least two different varieties, usually Jonagold and golden delicious.

  Mix six cups of apples with 1/4 cup orange juice.

  In a separate bowl mix 1 cup sugar, 1 stick butter (not softened), and 1 cup flour into small pea sized bits. Mix in 1 and 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon.

  Put apples in greased pan, and spread your mix over top.

  Bake at 375* for 45 minutes or until the liquid bubbles.

  Recipe courtesy of Mindy Patterson with Patterson Fruit Farm in Chesterland, Ohio http://www.pattersonfarm.com/

  Abby McCarthy is reader and a lover of words. She is a blogger turned author and released her first novel in May 2014. She is a mother of three, a wife and a dog person. She has always written, sometimes poetry, sometimes just to vent about failed relationships, however in parenthood she has found her voice to help keep her sanity. Words have flowed from her, to review and with the support of amazing friends in the Indie community she has decided to pursue her dream of writing! She loves to write and read romance, because isn't that something we all yearn for? Whether it be flowers and hand holding or just the right tug on your hair. Isn't that what life’s about; the human connection?

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