I sighed as I sat back up on the toilet and stood up to pace the floor. I knew that Jerrod wouldn’t want me to go and I also knew he would try to do something to change my mind, but I wasn’t willing to waiver on the subject. “Baby, let’s just talk about this later. Once you get A’Miracle from school come to get me. That will be around 5 and I know Sha will have moved to a regular room and Lydia will be here. Then we can go and eat as a family and maybe even catch a movie. Once we get home from that we can discuss this. Alright? Is that okay with you my king? I asked Jerrod as I heard him smack his lips and then loudly blow out his breath.
I could hear the frustration and fear all in his voice as he continued to breath and grunt before he finally responded to my questions. “It’s whatever you want my queen. You know I have your back 1000% but I’m not just gonna let you make me forget or dismiss this. Can I at least talk to your father and see if I can get a feel for him? Please Tisha? I have to make sure you will be alright and that will make me feel better. Other than that everything sounds straight. I can’t wait to spend some time with you, laugh with you, and love on you. I know our daughter can’t wait either. So what do you say? We got a deal?” Jerrod asked me as I smiled to myself.
I loved that man so much because I knew that’s exactly how he felt about me. Sometimes I would just sit and smile when I thought about how we met and how he protected and loved me from the very start. No matter what his love always made me feel like that scared, insecure little girl who he met, taught her valuable life lessons, protected and helped to find the strong, confident woman inside of me. That’s why I couldn’t deny him, no matter what it was, and why he couldn’t deny me. Our bond was unbreakable.
“Okay baby, I promise. When we get home, no matter how late it is I will call him and see if he will do Skype with us so you can really get a feel for him. Okay?” I asked my husband as I heard his mood instantly change. “Yeah, now that’s wassup. Okay baby. I can’t wait to see you later. I love you with all of my heart Shartisha... Witcho ole fine ass. I can’t wait to smack that big…” Jerrod began as I quickly stopped him and we both laughed. “Ole nasty man just wait for it. I got you. I love you too my king. See ya later.” I said to my husband before I made a kissing noise into the phone and he did the same and then we hung up.
When I hung up with Jerrod I felt a little better because I was one step closer to Memphis. After I used the facilities and freshened up a bit, I walked out of the bathroom to find Sha still asleep and my pill along with a cup of water on the table just like the nurse said it would be. I quickly sat down and popped the pill into my mouth and then swallowed it down with the water before I sat back, let out the chair, and then closed my eyes.
Within minutes I was in a deep sleep, trapped between a beautiful vision of the future and a horrible nightmare of the past. I tossed and turned while trapped in the nightmare of the past as Denise beat, burned, and locked me in rooms while me and my siblings had to run for our lives. I felt my body relax and my restless soul begin to rest when I saw a glimpse of my beautiful future with my entire family.
In that vision could hear Terricka’s laughter and see silhouettes of her and her happy family, husband included as they ran through a field of flowers, while Sha and Lydia laughed and trailed behind them. Then there was my family, which included three kids in the vision and a happy mom and dad. I saw all of that as I slept but what I didn’t see was what had led us all there.
I couldn’t for the life of me see the trials I would have to go through to reach that happy ending. I couldn’t see the chaos and pain either. So much was still unknown, however; I was grateful that here was a happy ending at all and I knew all of us was there. I knew that I made it through so I didn’t even mind the pain I knew was sure to come. That happy vision was enough to let me put my mind at ease and do nothing but sleep peacefully until the nurse woke me up sometime later.
I opened my eyes to see Nurse Shelly’s smiling face as she told me Sha had already been moved and she had waited to wake me. I quickly got up and got myself together as she finished paperwork and then met her at the desk. “Soo you ready to go see where your brother is now and see some more incredible progress?” The nurse asked me as she smiled while she walked around the desk and I returned the smile and my heart raced.
I could do nothing but nod my head at that moment because I could feel my words were stuck in my throat. The nurse understood my elation so she simply walked around me and grabbed my arm to carry me to the elevator. Once inside she filled me in on what had happened since I had been knocked out for four hours and I was taken aback by his speedy and incredible progress. Shelly informed me that while I was asleep she came in to catch Sha as he reached for the remote and she almost fainted.
She told me how they expected his ability to move his limbs would be a long rehabilitation process like it was before, but Sha seemed to have skipped all of that. She said he was the only person she had seen come of the ventilator and be able to move in the same day. That’s why she said he was moved while I was sleep and was doing fantastic when she left to come get me. I couldn’t believe what she said when she finished so I had to ask her was she telling me the truth.
“Yes, Mrs. Hill, I am telling you the truth. Your brother will definitely be back to normal really soon.” Nurse Shelly said as we got off the elevator on the second floor and walked to room 219. At the door I stopped to hug the nurse before I thanked her for all she had done. After that I entered Sha’s room and was shocked by what I saw. I couldn’t believe what I saw as I walked closer to Sha propped up in bed with the remote in one hand, Lydia’s hand in the other, and a huge smile on his face. He looked just like the big, little brother I had kissed before he walked into the airport weeks earlier, all handsome and strong.
“Hey big, sis!” Sha said with a slight slur and drag in his voice, but still that silent, subtle confidence.
He looked stronger than he did earlier and a lot happier as Lydia stood up and kissed him before she rushed around to hug me. “Hey Tisha. Look at him. They say it’s a miracle and he’s some type of robot. I told the nurse no, he’s just awesome.” Lydia said as she laughed and turned to look at Sha and I agreed with her. “You are definitely right about that. He is my awesome little brother beanie baby.” I said as I walked over to Sha and kissed him while he tried to jerk away because I called him his childhood nickname Terricka and I came up with.
After that all three of us laughed and talked, and we didn’t stop until A’Miracle and Jerrod showed up at 6. By that time Sha was a little tired and had laid down to let the pain medicine he had just received work so we allowed A’Miracle to get her kisses and Jerrod spoke to Sha before my family and I left. I told my brother how much I loved him and gave him a big kiss before I left and he told me not to worry. I couldn’t help it though as I walked out of the room and down the hall while he stayed behind. I couldn’t help but to feel like I was leaving him just like I had left Terricka and that’s when shit got bad for her. After that I pretty much felt that every tragedy in her life was my fault. That was why I carried around and umbrella of guilt, which made me feel I was required to make things right. That was the same guilt I still carried with me as I walked hand in hand with my daughter and husband out to our car.
We rode to A’Miracle’s favorite restaurant, Carl Jr’s, wrapped up in happy chatter as my daughter told me all about what I had missed. I felt guilty and a little jealous as I listened to her giggle about her recital I had missed and how fun dance class was with daddy and Patti. I couldn’t help but to think that I was doing so much to help my extended family, that I was slowly losing my immediate one. My husband and daughter had to rely on each other or my assistant as I went out to save the world. That’s why I couldn’t help but to think how I would deserve it if Patti took my husband and family. Why wouldn’t she when I was always too busy to do what I had to. I knew in my heart that Jerrod would never do that, but it still crossed my mind and hurt me bad as fuck. Just the thoug
ht of him with the perky 25-year-old, red bone with perky breasts drove me insane and made me mad as fuck. I wasn’t mad at him or her though, but I was mad at myself for creating the situation to begin with.
I was trapped between my love for my family and my loyalty to my sister and brother and I didn’t know what to do. I was in pure emotional agony as I sat there with a fake ass smile on my face and pretended to listen to what my daughter had said. I pretended but in reality my mind was everywhere but there at that moment, and my heart was so heavy that I felt like I was about to drown. Somehow I didn’t let it show though and shielded the innocent, beautiful little brown doll who stared up at me.
I was able to convince A’Miracle I had heard her as I laughed along to the end of her joke about a butterfly. When she finished laughing I turned around in my seat to kiss her forehead and then kissed Jerrod’s cheek as I turned back around to sit down. Once I sat back he turned to stare at me and the look in his eyes told me that he saw my worry. I opened my mouth to say something when he closed his eyes then opened them again as he shook his head and mouthed the word, “Later”. I smiled softly and agreed with him before I reached over and grabbed his hand and all of us joked and laughed until we pulled into the restaurant’s parking lot.
I spent the rest of the night wrapped up in love and laughter with my husband and my daughter. By the time we made it home it was well after 10 pm and A’Miracle was knocked out. I walked around my home and remembered all the good times as I took off my shoes and let my toes sink deeply into the plush camel hair carpet of my den. I looked at all the pictures of our happy family that lined the walls and wished for that happiness forever. After a few more minutes of enjoying the fact that I was home I went upstairs to kiss my daughter as Jerrod and I tucked her in bed. After that we retired to our bedroom where I quickly took out my MacBook and sat down.
“Come on baby, you ready? I asked Jerrod as he kicked off his shoes and came over to sit beside me.
He kissed me softly and quickly before he pulled back to look me in the eyes and shook his head yes. “I just gotta make sure you good baby so you can go accomplish your mission and come back home to us. We miss you Tisha and we need you here sometimes too.” Jerrod said as I saw a glimmer of a tear in his eye and quickly kissed it away. “Oh baby, I’m sorry and I love you too. I love both of you. I’m gonna make this right.” I said as I dialed the number for William Randolph in my cellphone and then waited for him to answer.
Jerrod kissed me from my forehead down to my neck as I held the phone up to my ear and it continued to ring. After 10 rings my father finally answered in a sleepy yet excited voice and I felt my heart race. I don’t know why but I got tongue tied and sat there and just held the phone as he yelled hello. I sat there so long Jerrod reached over and grabbed the phone to do what I obviously couldn’t do.
“Uh, hello sir my name is Jerrod Hill and I am the husband of your newly discovered daughter Shartisha Lewis-Hill.” Jerrod said in the sophisticated voice he always did when he imitated someone who lived in Beverly Hills.
His sudden silliness caught me off guard and broke the trance I was in. I quickly scooted closer to Jerrod then to hear my dad introduce himself and Jerrod get straight to the point. “Okay sir, now with all of the trivialities out of the way let me get right down to it. Now, I don’t know you just like Tisha doesn’t so I’m a little fucked up about that but I won’t go there right now. I will say she believes its true so I’m gonna roll with my baby. Now our dilemma. Tisha has to come back to Memphis soon because of some bullshit surrounding her sister and I can’t come. Now, since I can’t go Tisha needs somebody who can watch her back in the jungle and she said that person was you. Me, personally I don’t know you so I can’t say if you can get down with the niggas she may face, which brings us to this conversation. Since I can’t be in Memphis I’d like to meet you via Skype right now if you can. I already got a vague idea of your aurora now from the way you conversing with me but I still wonna lay eyes on you too. So if you will give me your info, we can hook that up right now.” Jerrod said as I heard my dad agree and watched Jerrod type the info into the computer.
Within minutes Jerrod had hung up the phone and dialed up my dad on Skype. I jumped up out of the bed and stood at the foot, behind the computer screen as soon as I heard it began to ring. I felt nausea and excited like I had just gotten off the extreme tea cup ride as I stood there and shook while Jerrod looked confused. “Baby what’s wrong? Why are you nervous Tisha? Come here baby.” Jerrod said as I shook my head no.
Suddenly the ringing stopped and I heard the deep, strong voice of my father as it echoed through the computer speakers. “Hello again Jerrod. It’s nice to meet you in person my guy, or something like in person.” My father said as he did a nervous laugh and Jerrod smiled while he nodded his head. I could see right away that my father had depth because he had quickly gone from a calm and professional, to hood and super relatable to Jerrod. In seconds they were wrapped up in a deep conversation like they were old friends as I stood and watched in awe.
“Yeah so, back to what I was saying on the phone. Jerrod, I never stopped looking or fighting for my daughter. When I got out after she turned 13 I came to the house to get her and Denise wouldn’t let me. She called the police on me and had them pick me up for attempted kidnapping. I went back for six months after being out one hour, although I eventually beat that charge. I beat it but I went through hell, yet I didn’t stop there though. I petitioned and called CPS for help and every time she would move and it would take me months to find her or CPS would visit and quickly close the case. I even tried to go to the school and find her but Denise had that covered to. She did all she could to erase that girl from my life bruh, but she couldn’t erase her from my heart. That’s why I got this tattoo.” My daddy said as I watched Jerrod’s eyes light up and my curiosity overpowered my fear.
I quickly ran back around to my side of the bed and sat down before I placed my face in front of the screen. When I did I got a glimpse of my beautiful 13-year-old face in an intricate, portrait tattoo that was taken from a picture my school had put in the paper. Tears instantly began to fall down my cheeks when I saw that and Jerrod wrapped his arm around me before he kissed my head.
“I got this tattoo right after I got out. I stopped at a store right across the street from the bail bonds man down town and picked up a paper at the counter. As I searched the paper for the want ads I came across the beautiful face of an angel, my angel. I knew it was her as soon as I stared in her eyes even though I hadn’t seen her in years at that point, I didn’t even have to read the name. She had the same eyes as me, the same smile. She was my princess. I went straight to the tattoo shop from there G and got it because I knew one day we would be reunited and I always wanted to keep her close to my heart.” My daddy said as he pulled his shirt down and then sat down back in front of the camera.
As soon as our eyes met both of us were stuck. I couldn’t move, breath or think as I sat there and felt as if I had looked in a mirror. My father had the same peanut butter complexion as me with big brown eyes and subtle dimples. He had a short, waved haircut and tattoos on his neck and arms. He was handsome but I could also see that he could be ugly if necessary just from the cuts and scars thrown in between and beneath most of his tattoos. Despite his rough demeanor as he sat there in his basketball shorts and white t-shirt, I could see love and compassion ins his eyes as tears streaked down his cheeks.
“Tisha, I love you baby. Daddy sorry. I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you princess. I’s sorry but I promise I will be here now. I love you Tisha!” My daddy cried as I cried along with him and told him how much I loved him.
After that we talked for another hour and my dad promised to pick me up from the airport the following Monday. That meant I had five whole days to love on my family and that’s exactly what I did. I enjoyed every day with my husband and daughter as Jerrod took off and we went skating, on hay rides, and pumpkin carving with A’Miracle wh
en we weren’t at the hospital with Sha. By the time October 1 rolled around I was satisfied that my family was good and I would be safe when I got to Memphis. I got word from my lawyer Shelia Landry that Monday morning as Jerrod drove me to the airport and was happy to hear that my petition had gone through. I found out I was granted custody of all four children and could have them in my home in less than two weeks once I finished the required interview and paperwork. That made me so happy that I squealed and hung up the phone without saying goodbye as Jerrod turned to see what was wrong.
“We got custody baby. We got them. I just got a week or so to wait of I have this interview and then we’re coming home. Yes. I told you everything would work out. Now dad will take care of me while I’m in Memphis and you can rest easy my king. You wonna know why? Cause I’m coming home. I’m coming home!” I sang as I laughed and leaned over to hug and kiss Jerrod while he drove and laughed too.
At the airport I kissed my husband goodbye with a light and happy heart determined to conquer everything I set out to do. I thought of nothing but how good it would feel to have the kids in my arms and know that they were safe as the plane took me closer to Memphis. I hoped that I would be able to save Terricka as well, but I wasn’t so optimist. I wished that Jerrod could find Buddy because I knew he could find her and get through to her even when I couldn’t. I wished and hoped the entire plane ride without any fear only determination to overcome whatever obstacle.
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