“Considering you’re pretty damn sensitive about her, that tells me you’re taking this way too seriously. Like you have feelings for her. And that gets you nothing but trouble.” He plops onto the couch, his gaze shrewd as he studies me. “Danny Cade’s sister, huh? I remember meeting her a few times over the years, what with the way you and Danny were so damn close and always together. Though it’s been a while since I last saw her.”
“She’s been living with me the last few months. I found her working at some strip club on the outskirts of town. She had a falling-out with her parents and they called me. Told me they thought they knew where she was and when they realized I was setting up The District close by, they asked me to find her. I got her out of that shit joint and told her she could work for me,” I explain, inwardly wincing when I see the expression on his face at the mention of Jen working at a strip club. Great. “The Cades knew I would help. I did it for Danny.”
“Isn’t Danny dead?” Dad looks completely confused.
“Well, yeah, but he’d want me to look out for his baby sister. So I am.”
“Did she strip?” he asks. He’s looking at me as if my story is complete bullshit. And I refuse to answer him. “Nice arrangement you got here, son. Sounds like a distraction, though, and I need you on top of your game. I’ve got a proposition for you.”
Dread settles in my gut, making it churn. My earlier hunger for breakfast evaporates in an instant. “What are you talking about?” I ask warily as I settle into the chair across from where he’s sitting.
He leans forward, resting his elbows on his thighs and watching me intently. “I just acquired a fantastic piece of property in downtown San Francisco. Not too far from the wharf. It’s a corner location, near business offices and where the trendy younger set likes to hang out. The building was recently redone, so the renovation costs wouldn’t be too bad, and the location gets plenty of traffic on a day-to-day basis. Specifically a night-to-night basis, which is exactly what we want.” He rubs his hands together like a greedy salesman—exactly what he is. “It’s time to move on, son. Have someone else manage this location in this shit-hole town. I want you to come to San Francisco with me. We can open the new place together. Turn it into something amazing that we could eventually franchise out across the entire country. What do you say?”
“You want to manage a restaurant together?” Crap, that’s my biggest sticking point. Working directly with my father is a nightmare of epic proportions. I’d moved on years ago so I could get away with not working directly for him as much as possible. That’s always hard, though, when the money starts talking. Because that’s when I usually start listening.
“Well, at the start. You know how I am.” He’d always had wanderlust and could never stick in one spot for too long. “I won’t get in your hair. This’ll be your project, completely. I’ll hang around, help supervise, take care of the stuff you don’t want to deal with, and then when the business is in full swing, I’m outta there. Ready to sell our franchise in all the big West Coast cities at first. Los Angeles, Portland, Seattle. Then we’ll sweep out farther east. Las Vegas, Phoenix . . .”
Sounds too good to be true, so I know one thing: there has to be a catch.
“Just got the loan approved for the location and we’ve moved quickly into escrow,” the old man keeps going. “I’m land rich. Rich as a motherfucker, really, but also cash poor. That means I’ll probably need some cash loans to take care of expenses and stuff.”
There’s the catch. I hadn’t even really risen to the bait. Shit. “You need a loan?” The idea shocks me. My father has never, ever come to me for money. He never needed to. My long dead grandfather had left him a ton of money and though he’s at his very soul a con man, Dad is also a very comfortably wealthy con man. He can afford to take risks. He’s always the one flashing the big cash stacks, exaggerating about his success, though most of those exaggerations were always based in truth.
The last thing I want to do is let my dad borrow money from me. But what can I do?
He’s my father. He might not have been there for me emotionally and he definitely made me work for it, but he always eventually came through when I needed financial help.
I owe him. He’s one of the reasons I’m where I am today.
Jen
I’d forgotten how uncomfortable Colin’s dad makes me feel, so what just happened was a fresh reminder of the man’s ways. He’s too slick, too charming, too . . . everything. I don’t trust him. He doesn’t feel genuine.
I take a hot shower to wash away the awful thoughts that still linger from last night. And the way Conrad Wilder talked, how he looked at me. How he strode into Colin’s house as if he owned it, invading our space. Ruining everything.
Thank God I know Colin is not like his father. Yeah, he has a reputation as a player and when I first came to live with him, he flirted with plenty of girls. Even went out with a few. At The District, he’s always the charmer, talking to women, making them laugh and smile and vie for his attention. But he never comes across as a total phony.
And lately he hasn’t even gone out with any of them. For the last few months he’s flirted a little bit at work with customers, but that’s it. I’m the only one he’s paid any real attention to.
Closing my eyes, I press my forehead against the cool tile, letting the water cascade over me. He’s so confusing. Everything he does, how he acts, I can’t figure him out. One minute I think he might really want me, then the next he’s treating me like a friend or worse, a temporary fling.
You’re the one who asked for the temporary fling.
Yeah. I’m such a fool for saying that. No wonder he readily agreed. A man like Colin is always up for a no-strings affair.
I finally shut off the water and step out of the shower, toweling off quickly, preparing for the day. My body still aches, but the pain is probably nothing that a few ibuprofen can’t take care of. Colin may have said I’m not going into work, but I so am. No way will I sit around here and do nothing. I’ll be climbing the walls in no time. And after having last night’s tips stolen, I need the money.
Besides, if Colin’s dad is hanging around here tonight when Colin is at work, there is no way in hell I’m staying here with him alone.
Exiting the bathroom that connects to my bedroom, I go to the dresser and open a drawer, slipping on a bra and panties, then a pair of yoga pants and a pale blue tank top. I attempt to grab for my phone, ready to check my text messages, and realize it’s gone.
The jackass who stole my purse also took my phone. He’s probably not even doing anything with it. My cheap purse has probably been tossed in a garbage bin, full of everything I consider important. He most likely took my cash and left everything else in the trash. Things that matter to me. Stuff that I need.
I sniff, pressing my lips together to hold back the tears as I collapse on my bed. I’m tired. Irritated. Frustrated. A huge ball of confusing emotion swirls within me, and I glance at the bedside table and the landline telephone that sits there.
Yep, Colin’s one of the rare few who actually still has a real phone. I grab it and dial the 800 number of my phone company, which turns into a twenty-minute conversation as I cancel my stolen phone and order a new one.
Colin would be proud of me. I actually feel like an adult, taking care of what I need to do.
The moment I hang up, the phone starts to ring. I answer it quickly, something I rarely do since hardly anyone calls the house phone and if they do, it’s usually for Colin.
“Oh my God, I took a chance by calling this number,” Fable says right after I say hello. She sounds relieved. “Are you all right? I figured your cell was stolen, yeah?”
“Yeah.” I sigh, running a hand over my wet hair as I slump against the headboard. “I’m tired, but I’m okay.”
We talk for a few minutes, with me explaining that I’m perfectly fine and letting her know about my frustration with Colin. How he doesn’t want me to come into work tonight.
“You should totally take the night off. I would if I were you. I bet he’d pay you,” she says.
Leave it to Fable to think about the money aspect of it. I usually do too. We have similar backgrounds, since both of us grew up relatively poor.
“Ha. With my luck he probably won’t. That’s why I’m going in,” I reply.
There’s a brief knock on my door before it’s thrown open, startling me. “Hey, I gotta go,” I murmur to Fable before I hang up without letting her reply. Colin strides into my room, slamming the door behind him. He stops at the foot of my bed, resting his hands on his hips as he glowers at me. As he’s still wearing those damn pajama pants and nothing else, I keep my gaze glued on his face.
That muscular bared chest is not going to distract me. I refuse to let it.
“Just because you own the place doesn’t mean you can just barge into my room,” I say, feeling defensive. On edge. I scoot up the bed till I’m practically sitting among the pile of pillows, my gaze never leaving his.
He looks angry as he runs a hand through his hair, pushing it into complete, sexy disarray. A sure sign that he’s frustrated. “I’m sorry about my dad. I didn’t expect him to show up. He usually calls before he comes by.”
“How often does that happen?”
“Rarely. That’s why it was such a surprise.” He rolls his eyes, something I don’t think I’ve seen him do since he was a teen. Funny how being around a parent makes us revert in age.
“It’s okay. I don’t mind that he’s here.” I shrug, trying to act like it doesn’t bother me even though it totally does.
I like having this safe haven with Colin. Hardly anyone ever comes around, so it’s pretty much always just me and him. Fable accused me a while ago of playing house with him.
I think she’s right.
“He was an ass to you and I hate that.”
“You don’t have to apologize for him,” I say, secretly thankful that he did. At least this way I know Colin is aware of his father’s behavior.
“Yeah, I think I do.” He sits on the edge of the bed and turns toward me, those beautiful blue eyes studying me, seeing everything and nothing, all at once. “Do I need to apologize for what happened in the living room before he showed up? The fight and the . . . other stuff?”
Hearing him say that reminds me of exactly what was happening between us in the living room, sending a little shiver down my spine. I’d wanted it. There was absolutely no reason for him to apologize for that. “No,” I answer, not wishing to say anything else. Why give him anything else? I’m keeping my lips shut.
“Good.” He nods, rubbing the back of his neck and looking decidedly uncomfortable and eager to change the subject. “I called the police when you were in the shower.”
“Oh?” I try to sound casual but my voice cracks. “Um . . . what did they say? Any news?”
“They haven’t found the guy, no surprise. I spoke to a detective who’s supposedly in charge of your case and he didn’t know shit.” Colin practically spits out the last word, his eyes blazing. Seeing him so angry on my behalf makes me feel good, which is silly but I can’t help it.
I love having him champion me.
“I told you they wouldn’t care,” I remind him.
“Yeah, yeah.” He smiles faintly, the sight of it momentarily dazzling me, and I try to focus.
But he makes it so damn difficult when he looks at me like that.
“Have you cancelled your bank card yet?” he asks when I don’t say anything.
I wince, feeling like an idiot. “I haven’t.”
“Damn it, Jen.” He tunnels those long fingers through his already fucked-up hair again and again, messing it up further, and I lean toward him. My fingers are literally itching to run through all that messy hair so I can tug his head, his lips, closer to mine.
“I’ll call right now.” I reach for the phone again but he stops me, his fingers circling my wrist, tugging me closer to him instead.
“You make me nervous,” he murmurs, drawing me so close our faces are inches apart, our lips perfectly aligned. “You need to take better care of yourself, especially if you’re going to do this all on your own.”’
“I can handle myself,” I retort, pissed that he’s implying I can’t.
“Can you really? I’m . . . worried about you. You’ve never really lived on your own. And the last time you did, you sort of . . . messed it all up.”
Understatement of the year. I can’t believe he’s talking about when I ran away and lived in my stupid, shitty car. I can’t go back to those memories, especially with Colin right in front of me. “There were circumstances beyond my control,” I remind him. Remind myself, too. “I hadn’t been prepared to handle them.”
“See, that’s the thing about life. It’s always throwing circumstances at you that are out of your control. I don’t see how you can possibly be prepared for them now. Look at what happened last night.” He sends me a pointed look when I continue to stare at him like an idiot. I can’t help that he’s so beautiful he completely distracts me. “You’re moving out on your own in a matter of days, Jen. How are you going to do this?”
“I know, okay? You don’t have to make me feel so dumb. I’ve been . . . I’ve had a lot on my mind.”
“I’m not trying to make you feel dumb,” he says, his voice gentle, his expression full of so much concern he makes me want to cry. “I worry about you. I don’t like thinking of you out there on your own.”
“I don’t need you,” I mumble, briefly closing my eyes when I see the pain etched across his face.
I’m such a liar. I need him so much. I just hate that I do.
“I know.” His voice lowers to a near whisper. “Sometimes I think I’m the one who needs you more.”
Tears threaten and I sniff, trying to fight them off. But it’s no use. They start filling my eyes and my lips tremble. God, I’m pitiful. I swear I haven’t cried this much since Danny died. I don’t want to admit I’m crying over Colin so I play it off and blame it on last night, which is still partly true.
“I keep thinking of him. How easily he knocked me to the ground.” I keep my head down so I won’t see his eyes, his face. I really don’t want to see his reaction. “Hearing his voice when he called me a bitch. It was so intense. So scary.”
“Damn it, come here.” I glance up to find Colin opening his arms to me and I go to him, closing my eyes when he draws me in close. I press my face against his throat, breathing in his clean, familiar scent, and I slip my arms around his neck, eager to get closer to him.
“I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with this,” he says against my hair, his voice muffled, his strong arms tightening around my waist and pulling me in as close as he can. “The security company, the lights out in the parking lot—all of it’s my fault. He assaulted you because I gave him the opportunity to do it.”
Shoving at his shoulders with all my might, I leap away from him and stand, resting my hands on my hips. “Stop blaming yourself. What happened, what’s happening right now, has nothing to do with what you’ve done.”
He frowns up at me. “What the hell are you talking about?”
“All this . . . fucked-up guilt you hang on to, especially when it comes to me. It’s ridiculous. You can’t continue to be responsible for everything that happens to me, you know? There’s more going on between us—you just don’t want to acknowledge it.”
Colin ignores what I just said. Typical. “It’s not . . . guilt.” He can barely choke out the word. “I want to take care of you.”
“Like I’m an obligation. Some sort of duty you owe to my brother and my family.” I throw my hands up into the air, tired of my own voice. “All we do is talk in circles. I say the same thing, you say the same thing, and then everything’s fine. But really, everything isn’t fine. We just come back to this. Every. Single. Time.”
He stands, towering over me. “I hate this. I hate that you think you’re some sort of obligation to me. I hate t
hat we have this same stupid argument over and over again.” Reaching out, he grabs me, so hard he makes me gasp as he hauls me toward him. “I don’t know what else I can do to prove to you that you’re more than an obligation to me. So much more.”
Finally. I needed to hear those words. So why won’t he ask me to stay? Why won’t he say he cares about me and wants me and wishes I would stay with him as his girlfriend or whatever he wants to call me? We don’t need to define it. I just want to be with him.
Only him.
Chapter 18
Colin
“No more talking,” I tell her, my hands at her waist, my fingers slipping beneath her tank so I can touch her bare, warm skin. “All I do is fuck it up when we talk.” I remember what Fable told me, how every time Drew opens his mouth when they argue he somehow makes it worse. It appears I’m just like him.
The faintest smile curves her lips and she slowly shakes her head. “You’re so right.” She pauses, worry mixed with desire filling her gaze. “We seem to do our best together when there’s no talking at all, don’t you think?”
“Well, you seem to like it when I talk to you a little bit.” I settle my mouth on hers, keeping it simple, knowing I won’t last like this for long. “Like when I whisper all those dirty words in your ear.” I kiss her hungrily, earning a soft moan from her when I delve my tongue deep inside her mouth. She tastes like toothpaste, fresh and minty and with a hint of her own, unique flavor. A flavor I could drown in, live on for the rest of my life.
“We can’t solve our problems with sex,” she tells me when I break away from her to smother her neck with wet kisses. “They’re still going to be waiting for us later. They always will.”
“Then we’ll deal with them later. I’ve been dying to lose myself inside you since last night,” I murmur against her throat, nibbling it. I love the feel of her skin against my lips, the scent of her, the slightly tangy taste.
She shivers, her hands at my shoulders, trying to push me. Thinking she’s trying to put a stop to what we’re doing, I reluctantly back away, only to watch in disbelief as she strips her tank top off, revealing the pretty pink bra she’s wearing.
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