It took him a moment to comprehend what she said. “You’re shitting me. Right?” He laughed until his stomach ached. “The kid didn’t have a clue what I was talking about.”
“Maybe so. It’s just that…”
Hawk reached over and tucked a curl behind her ear. “What?”
“Last night was… I’ve never… I mean I haven’t…”
“You’re strictly a missionary position kind of a girl.” He heaved a sigh. “Sorry. I kind of figured that. That’s one reason why I avoided you for the past few years. We’re as opposite as the north and south poles.”
“I guess we are.”
After a short silence, Sophie changed the subject, and he couldn’t deny he was relieved. “You can’t just jump out and wander around the countryside—”
“Says who?”
“Think about it. You have no identification. What are you planning to do? Walk all the way to AK? We’re in this together until we get to your friends’ house.”
Hawk had his own opinion about that. Discussing it with Sophie behind the wheel might not be a good idea. He’d wait until they landed somewhere for the night.
For the rest of the day’s drive, Sophie remained on the quiet side. There was no camaraderie, but at least she’d drawn in her claws. Hawk pretended his thoughts were fallen leaves floating in a river’s current. The secret to the game was to make sure the leaves kept moving without getting snagged on a tree branch or caught in a side pool. He lost the game today. Three minutes into his mind game and the memory of last night caught on a monster branch, and he was stuck.
He had only himself to blame. She’d wanted satisfaction. He’d known damn well a sweet love-making session would have made her happy. Instead, he’d satisfied himself. Taken what he wanted. Enjoyed every inch of her sexy body. And the truth was he wanted more.
Their mind-blowing sex last night hadn’t kept her guilt at bay today. He’d known that would happen too. But it hadn’t stopped him. Bastard that he was, he heisted anything she offered, even things she didn’t. For two solid years, he’d kept his distance so he wouldn’t be in this pickle. And now, here he sat, fermenting in the pickle jar.
Suck it up, Hawkins, and get over it. You destroy everything good that you touch.
Sophie pulled into Liard River Hot Springs campground after over ten hours of driving. Her nerves were in ribbons, and she battled tears. The strain between her and Hawk set the evening’s mood. They circled each other as best they could in the small confines, like two dogs deciding whether or not to fight. Okay, so maybe she’d overreacted. Did he think she’d get a thrill hearing him tell the store clerk about their sex life? Stop it. You’ve got a job to do and if it includes putting up with Hawk’s bad manners, then so be it. She tried to put her emotions on the back burner along with the peas. Admit it, Sophie. You’ve fallen in love with the man, crassness and all. The truth was she’d been in love with Hawk since she’d first met him, in spite of the fact he did everything he could to stay out of her way. And the hardest truth of all to swallow? She’d expected him to feel the same after one night in her bed. Oh, gee. She must have been on drugs with that thought.
Determined to put an end to the ice, she forced cheer into her voice and said, “How about I make us a nice supper?”
“What can I do to help?”
The distant, offhand “I really don’t give a damn” tone of his voice grated on her frayed nerves. “Stay out of my way. The camper’s not much bigger than a sardine can.” God, she hadn’t meant to bite his head off.
His narrowed eyes gave her pause. So much for her decision to make the best of it. Hawk was right. This wouldn’t work. “I’m sorry.” How many more times would she be saying those words? “I’m tired and taking it out on you. Get a fire burning. I’ll make a salad and we’ll grill potatoes and steak.”
He shrugged his shoulders with the enthusiasm of a turkey waiting in line at the chopping block. “Sure, why not? Come on, Rueger, let’s go.”
Once the door closed, Sophie rested her head on the refrigerator door and considered having a good cry. Tears always relieved the pressure. She had a feeling Hawk wouldn’t quite understand, so she grabbed a knife and vented her frustration whacking a head of lettuce. Next came the tomatoes and cukes. They received even harsher treatment. By the time she’d added the onions and radishes, she felt much calmer.
She had no reason to be mad at Hawk. She should be angry at herself for giving in to temptation. The moment she’d made the bargain with him, she’d had doubts. There was only one person who’d get hurt here, and it sure wasn’t Hawk. Face it, lady. You grabbed this chance to bump and grind with him. So you got more than you bargained for. Is that his fault? You knew how powerful his touch was. You’ve got no one to blame but yourself.
Today had convinced her of Hawk’s innocence, something she’d already known deep in her heart, but refused to acknowledge. Doubting him kept him at an emotional distance. He acted the rogue, but she saw an honest side, a tender side that he tried to hide. His anger at Reed and Blair was genuine. She’d bet her job.
She almost sliced her finger with the paring knife when the camper door squeaked open. “That was fast.” Sophie whirled around to hide the tears on her cheeks. “What is it?” she asked with a sniff.
“We need to move to a site near other campers. Are you crying?”
She rubbed her cheeks. “Of course not. It’s the onions.”
The skepticism in his eyes said he didn’t believe her. Now wasn’t the time to get into it. “Why?”
“The closer we are to people, the less likely we’ll get ambushed.”
Sophie piled the steaks and potatoes on a plate and shoved it in the refrigerator. You’re right. Call Rueger and we’ll pull up stakes.”
An hour later they had a new location between a travel trailer and a family tenting. Sophie could only imagine the irritation of both parties. They’d probably deliberately left some space between them for privacy. She carried the plate of food outside and plunked the russet potatoes wrapped in aluminum foil on the grate over the sizzling fire. Hawk’s husky voice carried on the wind from the woods. Who was he talking to? The truth dawned, and she smiled. He was having a conversation with Rueger, the killer dog. The dog he couldn’t stand. Rueger had the same effect on everyone he decided to like. She tilted her head and breathed in the aromatic pine forest. The woodsy scent mingling with campfire smoke made everything seem all right.
Hawk bent and picked up a dead dried log. Added it to the pile in his arms. The cool air, a reminder of his stint in the woods, invigorated him. He’d discovered something during his alone time in the forest where it was him pitted against nature. He learned to survive under the most adverse conditions. Who’d have thought he’d eat bugs and raw squirrels for protein? All his senses were in tune and coordinated after his adventure. As good as that was, he didn’t want to repeat the experience any time soon. There’d been some days when he thought he wouldn’t make it. He’d accepted the possibility his fate might be to die in the harsh unforgiving Canadian wilderness.
Falling leaves swirled around the nearly deserted campground giving it the distinct feel of autumn. He supposed August was fall here in the North Country. The campground shouldn’t be so empty at this time of year. Granted, it offered no amenities like gas and electrical hookups and the nights turned chilly, if not downright cold. Still, he’d have expected more campers.
If Bob and Jack were hot on his ass, he and Sophie would stand out like a tree in the desert. The smell of barbecued steaks hit him hard. His mouth watered and his stomach growled louder than the dog. “Come on, Rueger, time to eat.”
He dropped an armful of wood by the fireplace. “Smells good.”
“I’ll second that,” Sophie murmured. “Help yourself.”
After filling their plates, they settled on separate logs, a distance apart. Rueger, always the optimist, lay halfway between them in anticipation of any pieces of food that might hit the ground
.
His meal half-eaten, Hawk was replete and wondered when his normal appetite would return. He reached for a stick and poked the burning embers before tossing on a few more chunks of wood. Basking in the fire’s heat with a full belly, he wondered if life could get any better. Sophie had moved to a nearer stump, within touching distance, yet a million miles away, seemingly lost in her own world.
Shit! He’d known last Christmas Eve she was trouble, yet he’d caved within a few hours of meeting her again. He spoke softly to keep the ambiance. “A penny for them.”
A few blinks later, she smiled. “I’m reminiscing about camping trips with my dad. Every evening we sat around a fire. Not talking, really, but it was a comfortable silence. Eventually, he’d say, ‘I wonder what the poor people are doing right now.’”
“He sounds as if he was a down-to-earth type of guy.”
She pulled in her legs and wrapped her arms around them. Envy stabbed him. He wanted her arms around him. In the dim light of the glowing embers, Hawk watched a tear track down her cheek. His finger itched to wipe it away. “Your dad was special to you.”
“Yes. He died when I was twelve, leaving two ogres to raise me. While he was alive he taught me what’s important in life. Like sitting here, enjoying the fire and listening to the night sounds. How many people take time from their busy lives to do something like this?”
“Well, actually, I had months of it—ouch,” he said when she poked his arm with a branch. “You’re right. People should experience raw nature at least once. That way they’ll appreciate their recliner and TV.”
“How did you survive?”
“With difficulty.”
“Come on, Hawk. Open up.”
He stared at her for a long while before turning his attention back to the flames. “I had the bare survival essentials. Knife, gun, compass, canteen, cigarette lighter and quite a few energy bars. More important was my need for revenge against the people who set me up. It kept me going.”
“What about food? What did you do when the bars were gone? You’ve lost lot of weight.”
“Berries, mushrooms and whatever small game I shot aren’t dripping in calories.” He decided not to tell her about the bugs and raw meat.
“Care to share what happened? How it all went down?”
“I’m sure Bob and Jack told you.”
“I’d like to hear your side.”
“Where’s the tape recorder?”
“Don’t have one. Want to search me?”
The question hung between them, along with the fire’s smoke. His cock pushed against the zipper on his jeans. By Sophie’s rapid breathing, he knew she rode the same wave of longing. He deliberately broke the eye contact. “The three of us met the Canadian officials right on schedule and waited together to make the bust. In retrospect, I should have paid more attention to Bob and Jack. They hung together like Siamese twins.”
“Don’t beat yourself up.”
“Anyway, when the supposed drug dealers showed, I played my role. Marched out there with the money. Plan was I buy their drugs and the others rush forward and arrest the bastards. Next thing I know, I’m the one being arrested for selling cocaine, which, by the way, was conveniently stashed in my backpack.”
“What did you do?”
“All hell broke loose. Heavy fire came from the woods. Have no idea who was doing the shooting, but the dealers started shooting too. Blair, Reed and the Canadians scrambled for cover. Never one to pass up a golden opportunity, I hightailed it out of there.”
Did Sophie believe him? Hell, what did it matter if she didn’t?
“Any idea why Bob and Jack were out to get you or why?”
“Nope. I just know they were in cahoots with the Canadians.”
“Do you remember Sal Alonzo?”
Hawk stiffened, coming to full alert. “How could I forget the drug pin I put behind bars five years ago?”
“He escaped from prison two days before this went down. Stan’s convinced he’s the mastermind behind the conspiracy.”
The news surprised Hawk, but it put everything into perspective. “He wanted revenge, I suppose. I know the feeling. It’s what kept me going for two months.”
“You should let go of your thirst for vengeance and let the Bureau handle Bob Reed and Jack Blair.”
“I don’t think so. Our justice system sucks.”
“The Bible says to turn the other cheek.”
“My philosophy’s always been aim for the head.”
“Thou shalt not kill.”
“Thou shalt not kill unless it’s a bad guy. Hey, are you a bible thumper?”
Her penetrating gaze made him antsy. “Revenge isn’t as sweet as you might think.” He barely heard the softly spoken words.
Hawk concentrated on the mesmerizing flames. “Speaking from experience?”
“Not my own. My brother’s.”
“Which one? Cal or Jeb?
She came to her feet. “You know them?”
He shrugged and wished he could snatch back the words. “I’ve met them once or twice.” Cal was a special agent for the CIA. Jeb, a state cop. Both were hell bent on protecting their baby sister.
“They talked to all the guys in the department.”
Since it wasn’t a question, he said nothing.
“Well?”
In the fire’s glow, he saw that Sophie was pissed. Too late now to back out. “Yep. Invited us all out for a beer one night, soon after you started work.”
“Let me guess. Either they warned you to stay away from me or they asked you all to watch out for me in the field.”
“Yep.”
“Which one?”
“Both.”
Hawk breathed a sigh of relief when she moved away and he was no longer within striking distance. She picked up a large maple branch and poked the fire hard enough to send sparks spiraling into the night air. “Be careful. You don’t want to start a forest fire.”
She heaved the stick into the hot coals. “I’m a bit sensitive about my brothers’ constant interference in my life.”
“They love you. Doesn’t that count for something?”
“Not any more. I’d rather not talk about them.”
“Up to you.”
Crickets sang in the short silence. “What’s important to you, Hawk?”
Man, this woman didn’t believe in small talk. Her out-of-the-blue question got him thinking. His entire existence had been a sham with no concrete ties. Find the bad guys, arrest the bad guys then wait for some more to pop up. He blurted out the first thing that popped into his mind. “Clearing my name.”
“That’s short term. How about five or ten years from now?”
“Fighting evil, same as I’ve been doing for the past ten.”
Disappointment clouded her expression. Her mouth curled down and her eyes looked sad. Why had his answer bummed her out? Since he’d enjoyed their conversation, disappointment hit him hard when she withdrew into herself and slipped away from him.
He concentrated on the fact that Sal Alonzo was on the prowl again. Evil personified best described the mobster. Putting him behind bars had been a feather in Hawk’s cap, or so he’d thought at the time. It never occurred to him that the thug would come back to haunt him.
Sophie rose. His hungry gaze enjoyed every sensuous move as she stretched her arms over her head. Her T-shirt hiked up giving him a glance at her flat abdomen. He licked his lips, wishing he could see her perfect navel.
“I’m going for a walk. You and Rueger can guard the homestead.”
“Huh?” He pushed his lust aside. “Not a good idea.”
“There’s a hot spring about mile into the woods. Every time I stop here I’ve wanted to try it out, but couldn’t because I had to be on the lookout for you. I’m stiff and achy. My body craves a soak in the spa.
“That’s all it wants?” Jesus, why was he baiting her? Maybe some alone time would be a good idea. He doubted the rogue agents were up for hiking t
hrough miles of wilderness in the dark. “Sure. Go ahead. If you’re not back in two hours, you’ll have company.”
Chapter Six
Walking under the canopy of copious spruce trees, Sophie doubted her decision to trek to the hot springs alone. The serene forest didn’t bring the peace she sought. Instead, fear of the unknown tickled her spine. Up ahead the branches of a monstrous spruce took on the shape of a grizzly standing on its hind legs coaxing her to walk into its clutches.Stop it! You’re an FBI agent. The reminder brought no comfort. Warning signs posted around the park cautioned campers about grizzly and black bears. One such warning told the story of a black bear that’d plunged out of the woods and dragged a child from the serene pool.
Now here she was wandering at night under the light of the moon. Alone. She’d lost her mind.
Except for the tap of her footsteps on the wooden walkway winding its way through the coniferous forest, all was quiet. Too quiet. Where were the nocturnal noises? The owls? Or the death screams of rabbits brought down by night predators? With a shudder, she zipped her hoodie, hoping to shut out her uneasiness.
The toe of her hiking boot caught in a crack and she pitched forward, landing on her knees. “Damn it!” She sat on the pressure-treated lumber, brought her stinging knees to her chest and hunched over, fighting the urge to bawl.
How had this venture with Hawk gone so wrong?
She’d wanted to help clear his name and enjoy some sex along the way. Losing her heart hadn’t been part of the equation. If he caught even the slightest hint she’d fallen in love with him, she’d lose him forever. Better to have him thinking her a prude. That would explain her backing away. Truth be known, she was a prude. A wimp, as well. She was a piss poor excuse for an FBI agent.
The planks vibrated against her rear. Lying down she rested her ear against the wood. The sound of someone walking put a quick end to her musings. In one lithe move, she rolled over the side, landing on her feet. Another camper wanting to soak in the hot spring before bed? Or something more sinister? If this was a threat, it was human…one she could handle. She hoped.
A balsam scent assaulted her nostrils as she waited. She breathed deeply, somehow finding it reassuring. Her heart picked up its pace, probably anticipating the adrenaline kick. Sophie no longer heard the footsteps. Had the person heard her or simply changed his mind and headed back to the campground? She squatted, prepared to wait.
Alaskan Heat Page 4