Dear Diary,
I hate Vanessa. Mommy and Daddy are always with her. Always talking to her. Always talking about her. Daddy even takes her with him sometimes, for hours or even a whole day. It’s not fair. I don’t know why they love her more than me. We’re supposed to be the same. But, we’re…shut up! Ann’s talking again. I can’t even write in my diary without her blabbing on and on and never SHUTTING UP!!
Valarie
Dear Diary,
I can’t take it anymore. Ann was quiet when Vanessa was gone. She promised to be quiet if I made Vanessa go away, and she was. But she started talking again when Daddy brought Vanessa home from the hospital and every day she talks more and more. Especially at night. I have to make Vanessa go away again so she’ll be quiet.
Valarie
I gasped. She was going to kill me, too. I sat there in total disbelief. After a few minutes, Chase asked, “Do you want me to read for a bit?”
I nodded and passed the book to him.
Dear Diary,
I did something I wasn’t supposed to today, and it was so much fun. A man was outside the gate to our house taking pictures. Nobody noticed him. Because they were paying attention to Vanessa again. So, nobody noticed when I went outside to talk to him. He said he was studying buildings in school and had to bring in pictures of houses he liked for his project. He asked if it was okay to take pictures of our house. I told him it was okay even though I knew Daddy won’t like it. He doesn’t let anyone come to our house. Not since Vanessa came back home. I told the man he could come back whenever he wanted. He asked me if it was okay with my parents and I told him it would be okay because they would be too busy with my twin sister to notice. He said he would come back at the same time tomorrow and I promised to meet him at the gate so he could come inside. Daddy is going to be so mad when he finds out, but I don’t care. I’ll tell him stupid Vanessa did it.
Valarie
Chase paused and looked at me curiously. I cleared my throat to explain. “That must have been the private investigator Duke hired to find me.”
Dear Diary,
The man didn’t come back. He was sick, so his friend came instead. I let him come inside the house. He pulled out a big knife and told me to go to my room and to not make a sound. I ran to my room and hid under my bed. I didn’t come out until I heard Mommy screaming. Vanessa went to Heaven again, and this time she took Daddy with her. I didn’t tell Mommy about the man with the knife. She told me to go to my room because she didn’t want to look at me. Mommy is mad at me. Daddy is gone. Vanessa is gone. Ann is gone. Maybe Ants will come back this time.
Valarie
Chase paused again and studied me. “I’m okay. Keep going,” I said.
Dear Diary,
Mommy went to Heaven today. I have to go live with Aunt Violet and Uncle Darrell. I don’t want to go live with them. They live in Idaho. I wanted to go with Ants, but Aunt Violet said Ants was in some kind of bin and was never coming back. I want to go to Heaven with Mommy and Daddy and even Vanessa. I don’t have anyone to talk to. Not even Ann. She won’t talk to me, just like she promised.
Valarie
Dear Diary,
This is the last time I’ll write. I’m going to Heaven to be with Mommy, Daddy, and stupid Vanessa. I’m going to go the same way Vanessa did.
Valarie
“That’s it, baby. She didn’t write anything else after that,” Chase said.
“Yeah, that makes sense. The other journal started right after she was released from the mental hospital. It sounds to me like she was so upset by Ants leaving that she created Ann as a way to fill the void and express her anger toward Vanessa. She obviously blamed Vanessa. We need to know who Ants is and why the Vines made them leave.”
“Did the other journal mention anything about Ants?”
I shook my head. “I don’t think so, but it wouldn’t hurt to read through it again.”
Dear Diary,
I’m sorry for neglecting you. Aunt Violet found my old diary when I was in the hospital after I jumped off the roof. After that, I thought it was best not to write things down until I could be certain no one else could read them. Since I’ve been in a mental facility for the last eight years, there was no way for me to have any kind of privacy. But today is different! Today, I turned 18 and signed myself out. With the money from my family’s estate and my father’s life insurance money, I’ll be able to start my life over.
Valarie
Dear Diary,
They tried to tell me, but I refused to believe it, and no one ever showed me proof. And the proof wasn’t hard to find. A simple search of my father’s name brought up article after article about his murder and my mother’s subsequent suicide. And of course, the numerous articles of my sister’s death. The death that occurred a little over three months before my father’s death. If Vanessa really died after her accident, then who in the hell did my father bring home from the hospital?
Valarie
Dear Diary,
Harper Jackson. My father kidnapped her and brought her home to replace Vanessa. Why did Ann start talking again if Vanessa wasn’t really Vanessa? And what happened to Harper Jackson? My mother told me my father and Vanessa went to Heaven. Was Harper murdered the same day my father was? None of the articles mention anything about her.
Valarie
Dear Diary,
I found her.
Valarie
Dear Diary,
She hasn’t recognized me. My face does look different, even after all the surgeries I’ve had to put it back the way it was. It will never be the same again, and I hate it. I want to look like I used to, like Vanessa did, and like Harper does. Seeing her has made me miss Vanessa so much. I wish my parents had recognized my problems when I was younger and had gotten me the help I needed. But they didn’t, and now they’re all gone. Maybe I can become friends with Harper. I haven’t talked to her yet, but I’ve passed her a few times at the college she goes to, and I’ve followed her into the grocery store once or twice. I’ll keep watching and wait for my chance.
Valarie
Dear Diary,
I cannot believe what I did tonight. I followed Harper and a small group of girls to a club. A strip club! Where the girls strip, not the men. If that wasn’t bad enough, the four of them entered the wet t-shirt contest, and Harper won!! It was like watching my very own twin doing something I know she never would have. I don’t even know what to say right now.
Valarie
Dear Diary,
This has to stop. She went back again for another contest, and she won, again. There was a time when we could pass as twins. Maybe I should enter the next one and beat her. Ha! That would show her. Yes, I think that’s exactly what I’ll do.
Valarie
Dear Diary,
I hate Harper Jackson. I entered the contest as Hilarie Thaxton. I wanted us to sound like twins without being too obvious. Especially if we both won. But no, she won, and I got second place. Then the bitch told me to try again next week because she wouldn’t be a contestant. Stupid me asked why. Because employees can’t enter club sponsored contests. That’s right, my twin’s replacement twin is going to be a stripper.
Hilarie
Dear Diary,
I hate Harper Jackson, and I work at a strip club. As a stripper. This cannot continue.
Hilarie
Dear Diary,
I’m friends with Harper Jackson! At least, I think I am. She keeps to herself most of the time, but she’s friendly to me at work, and she says hello to me when she sees me at the college. She thinks I’m a student there, but I’m not. I just hang around the campus in certain places I know she’ll pass when she’s between classes.
Hilarie
Dear Diary,
What a coincidence. Harper is the licensed clinical therapist just hired by the clinic where I work as the office manager. I suppose it helps that I own the building and set up the entire clinic so that we could work together. We’ll be
best friends in no time. Just like sisters should be.
Hilarie
Dear Diary,
She’s got a boyfriend, and I don’t like him. She says he’s not her boyfriend, but he is. He’s the same guy that used to come into the club to see her every Friday night. The only one she would do private dances for. We don’t have room for a boyfriend in our relationship. It’s supposed to be just me and her. I won’t let her leave me, too. I just need to remind her of how much she needs me. We’re two peas in a pod.
Hilarie
Dear Diary,
I can’t believe this shit. She’s been gone for two weeks and didn’t call me once. My anger may have gotten a little out of control. I meant to just paint the mural on her wall, but seeing all those pictures of her stupid fucking family infuriated me. Her brother…ugh! Nope, not going there. Anyway, watching her pick up pea after pea while her ‘friend’ tried to decipher the painting on her living room wall was by far the most fun I’ve had in a long time. I should’ve brought popcorn to munch on while I watched. Seriously, they’re mystified by the things I did to her house. I can understand the dots. Not everyone would recognize the Gemini Twins constellation without the lines connecting the stars, but come on…two peas in a pod? Not a hard one to figure out. I’ve been giving her hints all along. I always offer her Double Mint gum. I gave her Thing 1 post-it notes for her office, and I kept the Thing 2 post-it notes for mine. I bring her a Twinkie at least once a week. Was she always this stupid? I guess she was.
Hilarie
PS – Earlier tonight, I thought I was going to get lucky, and she was actually going to take care of her boyfriend for me, but, alas, Harper isn’t a good shot. Actually, she’s a terrible shot if she missed that big ass man at damn near point blank range.
Dear Diary,
Why is she making everything so difficult? A new security system, new locks, a guard dog, and a boyfriend. Is she trying to test me? To see if I’m willing to fight for her? I just want us to be together. Time to try a different plan.
Hilarie
Dear Diary,
I can’t take this much longer. I have stooped so low, just to spend time with her. It shouldn’t be like this. I shouldn’t have to spend my holiday weekend with her boyfriend’s dipshit friend. I almost got out of it, but the dumbass small town cops arrested me, too! Then, she caught me when I was in the middle of trying to poison their food. Ugh!! It’s okay though. She will be with me as soon as everything is ready. Until then, I have to put up with her boyfriend’s friend so I can be included in her plans. Not much longer. Not much longer. Not much longer.
Hilarie
Dear Diary,
I thought I heard her today. I stopped what I was doing and waited to hear something, anything. If it was her, she wouldn’t say anything else. Why won’t she talk to me?
Hilarie
Dear Diary,
I’ve run out of time. Harper announced her engagement today and turned in her resignation. In three weeks, she’s moving to Croftridge to marry that monster of a man and leave me here in Sugar Falls all alone. I don’t think so. Fuck her. Fuck her brother. Fuck her boyfriend. And fuck her boyfriend’s friend. Fuck them all. Hahahahaha!
Hilarie
Dear Diary,
My plan is coming together perfectly. Tomorrow, I will bring Harper to the home I have made for us. No one will find us, and no one will bother us for the rest of our lives. Well, after I get rid of her pain in the ass friend. At least there’s plenty of room to bury the body out here.
Hilarie
“That’s it. There’s nothing about Ants,” Chase said and placed the folder on the nightstand.
“Can we ask Byte to look into it and see if he can find anything?”
“Yeah, I’ll call him in the morning.” Chase was quiet for a few moments before he asked, “Are you sure you’re okay?”
I sighed. “Yeah, I think so. I was having trouble processing my feelings about everything that happened, but reading her journals has helped. She was obviously suffering from some significant mental health issues as a child, and no one was there to help her. I just hate that I didn’t pick up on any of her issues as an adult.”
“Stop right there, Harper. You’re not going down that path. She was very good at hiding her truths. Not a one of us picked up on her being anything other than your friend or coworker who could be slightly clingy at times. And correct me if I’m wrong, but it sounds like she was fairly stable until recently.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”
Chase pulled me to his chest and gently kissed my lips. “Let’s get some sleep, baby.”
CHAPTER THIRTY
Harper
Several weeks had passed since Shaker and I were kidnapped, and we hadn’t learned anything new. Byte was fit to be tied when Phoenix told him Keegan found a crucial piece of information he missed. However, when his searches turned up nothing for Ivan Ceven, he didn’t hesitate to ask Keegan for help. Unfortunately, she was unable to find anything on an Ivan Ceven either.
They were both still trying to find something about Ants, but they weren’t having much luck and the only people we could ask, Valarie’s Aunt Violet and Uncle Darrell, were deceased.
A few days after the guys returned from searching Boar’s property, the boxes they discovered in the mine shaft arrived at the clubhouse. I felt an odd mixture of excitement and dread upon seeing the boxes. Swallowing my fear, I bravely opened and rifled through box after box. To my disappointment, the boxes were full of items I was mostly familiar with as they were things from Hilarie’s house in Sugar Falls and her office at the crisis center.
I knew the missing pieces to the rest of her story were out there somewhere, but I made the decision to let it go. I accepted the fact that some of my questions would never have answers. What’s done was done and couldn’t be changed. She was dead, and I was starting my new life with Chase.
Part of my new life was my job at Ember’s new counseling center. It had been open a little over a week, and I was pleasantly surprised by the number of appointments we had. I assumed the first few weeks would be slow until word got around town, and we established a client base. Apparently, Croftridge and the surrounding areas had a great need for a counseling center. Until we had a better understanding of that need, I agreed to see adult patients as well as children.
“When is my next session?” I asked the receptionist.
“In 30 minutes. Oh, I made a note here that this one is afraid of large dogs,” she informed me.
I looked at her quizzically. Did she tell the patient about Titan? Had she been asking all of the patients if they had a fear of dogs? She shrugged. “He told me that when he was making his appointment. I’m guessing that’s what he’s here to work on.”
“Okay. I’ve got time to take Titan down to the barn so Duke can watch him while I’m in session. I’ll be back soon.”
I walked Titan to the barn, talked to Duke for a few minutes, and trekked back to the counseling center. It wasn’t far enough away to drive, but it made for a decent walk. It would have been much shorter, but I had to go around the fences that separated the public portions of the farm from the private part of the property.
I rushed back into the building, trying to catch my breath and compose myself. “Sorry, that was a longer walk than I thought. Is my patient here yet?” I asked the receptionist.
“Yes, he’s waiting for you in your office,” she smiled.
I entered my office to find a man who looked to be around my brother’s age sitting on the sofa. He was wearing a button-down shirt and dress slacks, his appearance clean and well-kept. I hadn’t even introduced myself, and I was already assessing him. I cleared my throat and extended my hand. “Hi, I’m Harper Jackson. You must be Mr. Smith.”
He shook my hand with a firm grip. “Yes, but please, call me Vance.”
He held my hand in his for a beat longer than necessary. Slowly retracting it, I r
eplied automatically, “Okay, Vance. What brings you in today?”
Sitting in the chair across from him, I listened to him tell me about being attacked by a dog at a young age and struggling to overcome his fear of dogs ever since.
“Do you mind if I stand? Sometimes I find it easier to talk if I can move around. A nervous habit I suppose.”
“Not at all. Many of my patients find it helps to open up when they are moving about,” I said.
He stood and began to slowly pace back and forth while talking. I studied him carefully and listened intently to his words. It didn’t take long for me to be certain of one thing, he was lying.
“Vance, I understand that admitting the need for counseling is hard for many people, but there’s nothing to be ashamed of.” I softened my voice, “Instead of telling me this elaborate story, why don’t you tell me why you’re really here?”
His pacing came to a halt when he was in front of my office door. I fully expected him to open the door and bolt. To my horror, I heard the deafening sound of the lock clicking. He whirled around and peered at me with dark, soulless eyes. “Well, since you asked so nicely…”
In a flash, he was in front of me with his hand around my throat, squeezing. “I’m here because,” he said through gritted teeth, “you were promised to me.”
My eyes widened in shock. What the hell was he talking about? I reached up with one hand, wrapping it around the wrist of the hand he had clasped around my neck. With my other hand, I slowly placed it on my left thigh and felt for the bump. When my fingers found it, I pressed down several times in a row for good measure and then focused my attention on the psycho in front of me. “What are you talking about?” I rasped.
Carbon (Blackwings MC Book 4) Page 22