He sighed. “Okay, so maybe I do. But I’m serious this time.”
I didn’t bother telling him that he used that line about half the time. “Should I drop you at the art building after dinner, then?”
“No. I have a paper to write.” He picked up a chip and rotated it in his fingers. “So remember how I told you about the situation with Aaron?”
I tensed. “Yes?”
“He knows.”
I exhaled through my teeth. “What did he say?”
“He asked me to help him pick out a present for his girlfriend’s birthday.” Eli’s mouth stretched into a grin.
I burst out laughing, partially from relief. Aaron was Eli’s roommate. Eli had started the year with a different roommate, but the guy had reacted badly when he’d learned Eli was gay. Gun shy from that, Eli had tried to keep his sexual orientation under wraps with Aaron, but it had only been a matter of time before he found out. Eli wasn’t in the closet, but he wasn’t exactly out and proud either.
Our parents would shit a brick if they knew. Though I didn’t know how they hadn’t figured it out. I’d known since Eli was twelve.
“I mean, it’s a stereotype,” Eli said, “but his girlfriend should thank me. You should have seen the hideous necklace Aaron had picked out.” He shuddered. “I probably saved their relationship.”
I held out my wrist and shook it. The charm bracelet I was wearing made a twinkling sound. “You do have great taste in jewelry.” He’d gotten me the bracelet for my fourteenth birthday using money he’d earned from mowing lawns. Every year since then, he’d given me a charm to add to it. I didn’t wear the bracelet often for fear of losing it or one of the charms, but I did make a point to wear it when we went to dinner together.
Out of my four siblings, Eli was the only one I was close to. He was also the only boy. My two older sisters were carbon copies of my mother, and I feared my little sister was following in those footsteps as well.
They weren’t bad people—they simply weren’t my kind of people. All my sisters had ever wanted to do was get married, have babies, and let their husbands take care of them. It was like the women in my family had been born in the wrong era. They would have been happier in the fifties. So naturally, they were attracted to men who were old-fashioned and held the mentality that women and children should be seen and not heard. I would be shocked if my eldest sister Cara’s husband could even work a microwave. He was clueless when it came to anything traditionally deemed “women’s work.”
Needless to say, it had been a struggle growing up as the outspoken, headstrong middle child, though probably not as hard as it had been—and still was—for Eli. I didn’t trust my family not to disown him when he finally came out. My dad had almost withheld his college money when Eli decided to be an art major. Of course, they’d never set up a college fund for me because girls in the Byrne family didn’t go to college.
Sexist? Hell yes. But such was my life. I’d had a lot of anger about it my freshman year, but I’d since let it go. I couldn’t change my family, and it was the only one I was going to get, so I did the best I could.
After we’d finished eating, Eli swiped the check before I could get it.
“It’s my turn to pay,” I protested.
He shook his head. “Dad floated me some extra money this month. I got it.”
I clamped my mouth shut. I wished my family would accept me as I’d done with them, but I wasn’t holding my breath. Still, it stung how my dad gave his only son preferential treatment over his four daughters.
Over me.
***
AFTER DROPPING ELI off, I drove to Advance to have my car checked. I lucked out, and Manny was working. When he saw me, a huge smile spread across his face. “Senorita Raquel, what can I do for you?”
He’d called me that since I’d met him last year, and even though I’d corrected him the first few times, he’d never stopped. It had grown on me, and now I kind of liked it.
“The usual. Greta’s light is on again.”
“Let me grab the machine.”
A customer stopped Manny on his way to get the machine, and I waved at him to let him know I wasn’t in a hurry. Taking a seat on a bench near the front door, I pulled out my phone to pass the time.
I’d missed a text from Adam, asking me if I was up for a booty call later. That was his exact wording. Sighing, I stared at the text. What the hell am I doing? I’d had that thought before, but for the first time, I didn’t want to have it anymore. I might not be a candidate for the swoon-worthy, gag me kind of love that Katie and Wyatt had, but surely I could do better—and was worth more—than a booty call.
I started to type out a response to Adam but deleted it. Even if we’d never been serious, we’d been together long enough that I felt like I owed it to him to tell him in person that I was done. He probably wouldn’t give a shit if I broke it off with him via text, but I did. I was classier than that.
Says the girl getting texts for booty-call requests.
I wonder what a booty call from Jake would be like. Probably great. No, definitely excellent.
My fingers hovered over the latest entry in my phone. When Jake had dropped me off the night before, my initial reaction was that taking his number was pointless because I wouldn’t text him. Jake was the type of guy I could see myself falling for, which scared the shit out of me. He was strong, handsome, and had a “take control” element to him. It was that last part that I worried about. My dad was controlling and so were my sisters’ husbands. It figured that the kind of guy I was attracted to was the exact type that had the potential to make my life miserable.
But Adam wasn’t controlling, and he’d made me miserable plenty of times. Maybe not miserable, exactly, because misery indicated that I cared, and I truly didn’t. I was fond of Adam the way a person could be fond of the neighbor’s dog. God, that’s awful.
Yet that was what had made it appealing. I would never lose myself to Adam the way my sisters had lost themselves to their husbands. For instance, once Cara got married, she’d ceased being Cara—she had become Rob’s wife. Then a year after that, she’d added Jayden’s mother to her identity. I didn’t want that. I always wanted to be Rachel Byrne.
Anyone who threatened that scared the hell out of me. So why hadn’t I deleted Jake’s number?
I knew it was possible for a woman to be in a relationship and not lose herself. Katie was proof of that. But that trait was in my DNA. My mother, my grandmother, my sisters, and my aunts all came second to their husbands and, heck, even their children. Their needs came dead last in the hierarchy. That wasn’t the life I wanted.
Manny shuffled over. “Sorry to keep you waiting, Senorita Raquel.”
I frowned at his pronounced limp. “Is your knee bothering you again?”
“Is nothing.”
He held the door open for me, and I looked at him skeptically as I passed. “It looks like you’re in pain.”
He smiled. “Just a little bit. Is nothing.” Manny had been in a car accident years ago, and his knee had never quite recovered. It had always bothered him on and off but seemed to affect him more frequently lately.
“Have you had it looked at?” I knew he had grown children in the area. Why hadn’t they encouraged him to take care of it? Or maybe they had, and he’d been stubborn with them like he was with me. I shouldn’t judge people I’d never met.
Manny waved his hand dismissively and popped the hood of my Jetta. He hooked up the machine and pressed a few buttons. “It’s just a sensor. No need to worry, Senorita.”
Relief filled me. “Thank you, Manny.”
“Anytime.” He lowered the hood on my car and grinned. “Same time next week?”
I laughed, except it was kind of sad because it was true. I kept slapping Band-Aids on Greta’s problems, but one of these days, that wouldn’t work. Then I would be stuck taking the bus because I sure as hell couldn’t afford another car. I could barely manage the insurance premium, much less
a car payment.
But hey, on the bright side, if the car died, the problem of paying for insurance would take care of itself.
CHAPTER 5
Rachel
THE SERVER GLARED at me, and rightly so. I’d been holding the table for an hour on a Saturday night and had only ordered a soda.
Effing Adam. I didn’t know if he was just late or standing me up again. I had been ninety-percent sure that I was going to end things with him, which was why I’d invited him to dinner. I figured the least I could do was tell him in person and buy him a cheeseburger. But if he didn’t show up in the next five minutes, then all he was ever getting from me was one last text.
I smiled tightly at the server. “I’m sorry. I don’t know where he is. I hope something hasn’t happened.”
Guilt fluttered briefly across the server’s face. She sure would feel like an asshole if it turned out my date had gotten in a horrific car accident. Not that I thought that had happened. I was almost certain Adam was simply blowing me off again. So I didn’t know why I was trying to give the poor server a guilt trip. Maybe so I look like less of a loser.
Screw it. Adam didn’t deserve to have me waiting for him another five seconds, let alone five minutes. I slapped a twenty that I really couldn’t afford on the table and made my way out of the restaurant. As soon as I was back in my car, I typed up a fiery text telling Adam exactly where he could shove it. Then I deleted the entire thing. It would serve no purpose. It wasn’t as if Adam were going to change, and I didn’t really care if he did anyway. That was the next fool’s problem. I prepared another, simpler text.
Rachel: This isn’t working out anymore. No hard feelings.
As I hit send, a wave of exhilaration washed over me. I had always been one to go with the flow, but it felt good to take charge for once. And why should I stop there? My fingers hovered over the most recent addition to my phone’s contact list. Jake.
He seemed like a nice guy, the type who wouldn’t stand me up. And he was certainly nice to look at. My belly stirred just thinking about his soulful eyes and tousled hair. I hadn’t had an excuse… um, I mean a reason to touch him, but I was certain he would feel just like he looked—lean and muscular. He had the type of body a girl could stay wrapped up in forever. And okay, I might have checked out his ass when he walked away, and I might be looking forward to football season more than I had been just to see him in his tight white uniform.
If all he was was a piece of man candy, I would be happy to sit back and simply look and not touch. But remembering the furrow in his brow as he’d concentrated on cutting butterflies out of construction paper made me smile. He’d actually looked kind of silly, which made me like him more.
Maybe it was hasty to end things with one guy and immediately send a text to try to start something with another guy. In my mind, I could practically hear Katie rolling her eyes at me, which was a fair reaction. I had no feelings for Adam, and he had none for me. We had just been convenient.
Don’t overthink it.
I started tapping out a new text.
Rachel: I would love—
Scratch that. Don’t sound needy. I tried again.
Rachel: Want to get together one day this week? Let me know!
I stared at the words, wondering if they were the right vibe. The trouble was that I wasn’t sure what vibe I wanted to send. I hadn’t spent much time with Jake, but I liked him. He was funny and kind, or maybe just a sucker for helping me with those stupid butterflies. I hadn’t stopped thinking about him, and I wanted to see him again. God, that scared me.
Be brave.
I hit send on the text then tossed my phone onto the passenger seat. “Universe, the ball is in your court,” I muttered. “Please don’t let me be making another Adam-sized mistake.”
Giving Greta’s steering wheel a loving pat, I turned the key in the ignition and silently prayed. She started without a problem, and I sighed with relief. It had been touch-and-go all winter. The cold weather hadn’t agreed with my poor car, but now that it was warmer, I had my fingers crossed that I would have fewer problems.
I considered texting Katie to find out where she was but decided against it. She was probably with Wyatt, and I didn’t want to crash their party of two. I could try to meet up with our other friends Danielle and Destiny, but a quiet night in my pajamas was more appealing than partying. And while I was on the path of making changes in my life, I would send an email to my academic advisor to request an appointment.
“Just look at me go, Greta,” I said. “I’m on a roll.”
As I turned onto Main Street, I felt lighter and more in control of my life than I had in a long time.
***
Jake
I SHOULD HAVE let Carson drive. Or better yet, I shouldn’t have let him talk me into coming out tonight. Then I wouldn’t be stuck nursing a warm beer while he macked on a brunette wearing way too much perfume. I supposed I could leave my truck there and catch an Uber home if I wanted to get shit-faced, but overindulging was no longer part of the plan.
It was early—just past eight. Things didn’t pick up downtown until at least nine or ten. I didn’t know why Carson had wanted to come out so early, but once he got an idea in his head, he was difficult to dissuade.
The chick gave Carson a little wave before disappearing into the ladies’ room. He grinned at me. “She’s hot, right?”
“Sure.” She had the trio of traits Carson liked—skinny, big tits, nice ass. Brain cells were optional. I preferred someone I could talk to, someone with a sense of humor. Someone like Rachel.
That girl had gotten into my head. If I had taken that bet with myself, though, I would have lost. It had been a week, and she still hadn’t called. Part of the reason I’d agreed to come out tonight was that I hoped Wyatt and Katie would be there so I could casually ask Katie about her friend. It was still early, though, so the night might not be a waste.
“I bet she has a friend,” Carson said. “Girls like that always have friends.”
I shook my head. “No thanks.” I’d had my share of hookups, but I generally preferred to date girls I was sleeping with. One-night stands weren’t my thing.
“Suit yourself. Need another beer?”
I looked at my bottle and started to say yes before shaking my head. “I’m good.”
Carson went to the bar and was joined by the girl—I didn’t even know her name. I rubbed my eyes. By coming out tonight, I’d been trying to reclaim my former life, but it had only made me realize I never would. I was giving Carson another hour, and then he would have to find his own way home. Hell, he would probably end up going home with that girl anyway.
Thirty minutes, I amended. Then I was outta there. My idea of a good time wasn’t watching Carson have a good time.
I took my phone out to pass the time and realized I’d missed a text.
From Rachel.
Holy shit. I felt my mouth stretch into a dopey grin as I read her text. I sent one back.
Jake: Why wait? Carson and I are hanging at TOTS. You should come by.
I told myself not to get my hopes up because she’d sent her text an hour ago, but I was pleasantly surprised when she responded right away.
Rachel: Katie, Wyatt, and I will be there soon. Let me know if you go somewhere else.
Jake: Okay.
But why the hell would I go anywhere else? Rachel was coming there, so there was nowhere else I wanted to be.
Twenty minutes later, Carson, his girl, and I were sitting in a coveted round booth in the corner. He sat up tall, stretching his neck and peering across the room. “Is that Ziz?”
I glanced in the direction he was looking. “Looks like it.” Ziz was Becca Zizzo, the little sister of his best friend from home. Carson brought her around sometimes, but I didn’t know her well.
“Who’s that jackass she’s talking to?”
Beside Carson, the girl—whose name I’d yet to find out, and at that point, I didn’t feel like I could ask�
��frowned.
Carson continued to watch Becca, ignoring his new friend. Awkward. After a few minutes, he slid out of the booth. “I’ll be back.”
Fuck. Carson was just drunk enough to do something stupid.
“Who is that girl?” the brunette asked. “Carson didn’t say anything about having a girlfriend.”
“He doesn’t. She’s a family friend.”
I kept an eye on Carson as he positioned himself between Becca and the guy. He totally dwarfed the other dude. I couldn’t hear what was said, but it didn’t take long for the guy to slink away.
Becca glared up at Carson. Her hands were fisted at her sides. Again, I couldn’t hear what was said, but judging by Becca’s furious expression, she was pissed. She didn’t let him get a word in before she turned on her heel and left the bar, letting the door slam behind her.
That wasn’t the first time a scene of that nature had played out. Carson was lucky that his sheer size made all the guys he’d confronted back down, but one of these days, his luck was bound to run out, and he was going to get his ass in trouble.
Carson sauntered back to our table, a satisfied expression on his face. “Sorry,” he said to the girl through his shit-eating grin. “But I couldn’t let my best friend’s sister hook up with some loser. You understand.”
Rachel, Katie, and Wyatt walked in, so I didn’t wait around to hear how Carson’s conversation was going to turn out.
I met the trio at the bar. “Hey,” I said. “Glad you could make it.”
“Thanks.” Rachel looked amazing. She wore tight jeans with a loose top, and her hair fell to her shoulders in waves. But her mouth—holy shit. She’d painted it red, making her lips irresistible.
“What do you want?” Katie asked her. “I’ll get it, and you can find us a table.”
“Carson and I have one over there.” I gestured to where Carson was now sitting alone. Guess that convo didn’t go well.
Katie nodded. “Cool. Jake, right?”
“Yeah. Hey, Katie. What’s up?”
“I’ll get this round,” Katie told Rachel again. “Go on.” She gave Rachel a little shove, sending her stumbling toward me. Real subtle, Katie. I didn’t know her well, but I suddenly really liked her.
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