I closed my eyes and brushed my lips against hers, taking it so much slower than I wanted to. She tasted sweet, like the Sweet Tarts she’d eaten while we were shopping.
I wondered if she would taste sweet everywhere. Something told me she would, and I hoped to God I would get the chance to find out.
CHAPTER 13
Rachel
I SHOULDN’T DO this. I should put a stop to it.
But Jake’s lips were so soft against mine. The kiss was gentle. Not hesitant exactly, but he was definitely taking his time, exploring every inch of my mouth with his. I liked it.
His hand snaked up my spine, coming to rest behind my shoulder blades. I threaded my arms up into the space between us and wrapped my arms around his neck. I pulled myself forward and pressed against him. Katie had said his body was wide receiver-esque. I still didn’t know what the hell that meant, but Jake’s body was leanly muscular and tight in all the right places. He could probably pick me up and toss me over his shoulder as easily as he had my tire the other day. My belly tightened at the exhilarating thought.
His lips worked over mine, caressing, taking, and yielding. I parted my mouth, and his tongue delved in. I wanted to wrap my legs around his waist and lock my ankles.
His fingertips trailed up my back, and the sensation caused goose bumps to form on my flesh. Every inch of my skin was at attention, wanting to experience his touch. I was surprised to be reacting so strongly to him. It was like my body was no longer connected to my brain. It was thinking for itself and trying to take what it wanted. Hell, what I wanted.
A low moan escaped my throat as his tongue swirled against mine. His reaction was to grip my ass with both hands and pull me tighter against him. My body wasn’t the only one reacting. It would be so easy to keep going, to see where things led. But “easy” was what had kept me with Adam all that time. This wasn’t Adam, though. This was Jake.
God, I couldn’t think while his mouth was on mine. Maybe that was good. Maybe I shouldn’t overthink things.
Jake abruptly moved away, going to lean on the counter across from me. I blinked. It felt like the warm blanket I’d been wrapped up in had been yanked away from me, and now I was left shivering in the cold. Did I do something wrong? I stared at Jake, hoping for some insight, but he simply looked back at me with a bland expression.
A moment later, Ben shuffled in. He didn’t pay us any attention as he went to the pantry to root around. He left clutching a box of Cheez-its.
I’d been so focused on Jake that I hadn’t even heard Ben approaching. Jeez. That would have been embarrassing.
Only when we heard the sound of Ben’s door closing did Jake speak. “Sorry. I thought it best—”
I put my hands up to stop the awkward apology. “Of course.”
Jake stepped closer. “But that doesn’t mean I wanted to stop.” He looked at me, probably seeking permission to pick up where we’d left off. I wanted to, but that was exactly what I’d told myself I wouldn’t do. I hadn’t even known Jake two weeks, but I already cared about him and didn’t want to make things more complicated. Getting caught making out by Jake’s siblings was the definition of complicated.
I sighed. “I should go.” I was taking the interruption as a sign from the universe.
“Can I see you again?” His mouth slipped into a crooked grin. “Maybe for something other than a tween emergency and household chores.”
I laughed. “Yes. I’d like that.”
“Next weekend?”
“Sure, that sounds—damn it. I have to go home for my sister’s baby shower.” I’d forgotten all about that, probably because I was dreading it.
“That’s cool.”
“How about the weekend after that? Except, shit, that’s getting into finals week.”
“Will you be here for the summer?”
“That’s still up in the air. I had hoped so, but it’s not looking likely.”
“Well, damn.”
My shoulders slumped. “Yeah.” Between the mix-up with the text and then this, I wondered if Jake and I seeing each other just wasn’t meant to be. It was beginning to seem that way. I licked my lips, still tasting him there. Disappointment washed over me. We were good together. We might even be great together. I hated to think that we wouldn’t even get the chance to find out.
Come on, universe. Do me a solid here.
I hopped off the counter. “I should go,” I said again.
“I’ll walk you out.”
I grabbed my purse and walked with him to my car. When we got to it, he spun me around. He put his arms on top of the car, caging me in. “I want to see you again. Let’s try to make that happen.”
“Okay,” I whispered. I licked my lips in anticipation of a kiss.
But he merely pushed off from the car and shoved his hands in his pockets. “I promise I’ll answer your text this time.”
Nodding, I got in the car and shoved the keys in the ignition. It was the first time in my life I actually hoped Greta wouldn’t start because then I would be forced to spend more time with Jake. But like everything else concerning Jake, luck was not on my side.
***
Jake
ONE OF THE things I liked about our new house was the layout. On one side of the house, there were three bedrooms, including a master with a private bathroom. Those were the rooms my siblings had taken. Ben had taken the master because I’d figured it would be better for the two girls to share a bathroom. On the other side of the house was a finished room over the garage, which I had claimed. Though it had sloping ceilings, it was bigger than the master bedroom. Most importantly, though, it offered some privacy. My siblings were used to living under one roof. I was not. I figured a little bit of separation would help ease the transition. A bonus was that there was a full bath at the bottom of the stairs that led up to my room.
I was about to head up to my room for the night when I noticed the hall light had been left on. With a sigh, I went to turn it off. Though I didn’t grumble out loud, my thoughts definitely resembled some things I’d heard my father say when I was a kid. Money doesn’t grow on trees. Turn the lights off when you leave a room. I had to smile. I’d always heard that everyone eventually turned into their parents. I just hadn’t expected it to happen at the ripe old age of twenty-one. There could be worse things, though. My dad had been a good man.
When I got to the hall, a muffled sound stopped me in my tracks. Is that crying? Leaving the light on, I crept toward the girls’ rooms. Both of their doors were open. I peeked in Emily’s room, but it was empty. When I looked in Ashley’s room, I found both of the girls huddled in her bed. They hadn’t seen me yet, so I wondered if I should just walk away and let them have their moment. But when Ashley let out a sob, I knew I couldn’t walk away. We were in this together.
I knocked lightly on the door to get their attention. “Hey,” I said softly.
Ashley looked up at me with tears in her eyes, and I saw no trace of the defiant tween who had locked herself in the bathroom for hours that afternoon. In her place was a broken child. Without speaking further, I joined them on the bed. Emily crawled over my lap so that I had one girl on each side of me. I tucked them under my arms.
Ashley took a ragged breath. “I miss Mom.”
Emily didn’t make a sound, but her little shoulders shook beneath my arm. My heart broke for them. It broke for me too. We were orphans, and it fucking sucked.
“I miss them too,” I said. “I know I haven’t been around much since they died. It hurt to come home and know they weren’t there. But that was wrong. I shouldn’t have stayed away when you needed me. I’m going to make up for that.”
“It isn’t fair,” Ashley said.
“No, it isn’t,” I confirmed. “It sucks so bad. I would do anything to have them back.”
I wondered if they had thought of things that my parents would miss out on specifically, like their weddings. My dad wouldn’t be there to walk them down the aisle. I assumed that respo
nsibility would fall to me. Except when I looked at these two little girls next to me, it didn’t feel like a responsibility. It was a privilege. We were so lucky to have each other. I couldn’t imagine being orphaned and being all alone. As hard as the transition had already been, moments like this made me realize that I was doing the right thing. I might screw up sometimes, but in the grand scheme of things, my head and heart were in the right place.
***
THE NEXT MORNING, I made pancakes, using the brand-new griddle Rachel had chosen for me. My brother, sisters, and I needed to have an important chat, and I figured it would be more pleasant with breakfast. It was almost eleven, though, so it was more like brunch. Emily had been up since seven, but Ashley and Ben hadn’t emerged from their rooms until after ten. As I watched them pile steaming pancakes onto the brand-new plates I’d just taken out of the dishwasher, I grinned. I hadn’t thought that setting up the kitchen was all that important. But having actual silverware and dishes instead of paper plates and plastic utensils made the meal seem more family-like. Seeing my siblings slurp juice out of real glasses made me so grateful to Rachel.
After we all got our food, I called the family meeting to order.
“We need to figure out a way to make this situation work for everyone,” I said. “For instance, I only made it to one class this week. That isn’t going to work.”
Emily immediately looked guilty. “I’m sorry,” she said in a small voice.
Damn it. I hadn’t meant to make her feel bad.
“No.” I put my hand on her arm. “I’m not blaming anyone. I made that choice. It was more important for me to move you guys here and get you settled. But now that you’re here, we need to make this work for everyone, me included. Each of us has school. That’s priority number one.”
Beside me, Ben grumbled. I didn’t understand why he had an issue with school. He was ridiculously bright. I wondered if it was one of those situations where he was bored. If he was, oh well. He would have to suck it up and learn to play the game like every other kid in America.
“I’ll accept no less than honor roll from each of you.”
Ben scowled. “That’s not fair. As long as I pass, that should be good enough.”
I shook my head. “I expect better from all of you because I know how smart you all are. I know what you’re capable of. If you’re legitimately having trouble, that’s one thing. But if you’re slacking off, that’s unacceptable.”
“You’re not my dad,” Ben snarled. “You’re just our brother.”
I was taken aback by Ben’s foul attitude and his lashing out. He was normally levelheaded and easygoing. But hell, he was a teenager. Even though I’d gotten along with my parents, I’d had my moments of being an asshole. I just hadn’t expected him to drop the “you’re not my dad” line. That one stung. It also reminded me that what I’d signed up for with these three wasn’t fun and games.
“You’re right,” I said. “I’m not Dad. But I am the adult who is now your legal guardian. And while I’m your brother, you will also respect me as your guardian.” I gave Ben a stern look that hopefully conveyed to him that I meant business. I was walking a tightrope between being one of them—being their brother—and playing the parental role. Honestly, I didn’t like it. I would much rather be the fun big brother. But that wasn’t what they needed from me.
“But you’re also right that I’m your brother,” I continued. “That means that I need some things from you as well. Like I need to be able to go to class. We all have to work together to make this work. Now, I’ve already established that our number one priority is school. But beyond that, what other things do you want to be involved in?”
“What do you mean?” Emily asked.
“Well, I play football,” I said. “That’s something that makes me happy.” Or at least I hoped it would make me happy. I was struggling to find the time to take the needed steps to make the coming fall season my best yet. Every day that went by without me training was another day that someone else got a leg up on me. My teammates were just that—my teammates, but they were also my competition right now. I needed the starting position as wide receiver. Otherwise, I could kiss my chances of being drafted goodbye.
And I didn’t even want to think about what I would do if I actually got drafted. Fuck. I didn’t want to uproot the kids again.
I exhaled. One day at a time. That was all I could manage. I would worry about future problems in the future.
“Oh, like soccer,” Emily said.
“Exactly. But I thought you didn’t like soccer anymore.”
Emily shrugged. “Aunt Christie worked nights, and Uncle Brian didn’t want to take me.”
I fought to control my enraged reaction. Even though Uncle Brian was already at the top of my shit list, he kept climbing higher. Any higher, and he would be in outer space. What a fucking asshole.
“Do you want to play?”
Emily nodded shyly. “I brought my ball and shin guards.”
“Okay,” I said. “I don’t know much about youth soccer in this area, but I can find out. What about you, Ashley?”
I partially expected her to act like she was too cool for organized activities, so I was surprised when she actually had several things.
“Swimming. The high school back home had a swim team, and I was thinking that I might want to try out when I get to high school.”
“Okay. I don’t know if—”
“It does,” Ben said. “Bleaksburg High School has a swim team.”
I was surprised he knew that. As a general rule, Ben wasn’t interested in extracurricular activities… or school at all, it seemed.
“Before…” Ashley swallowed. “Before Mom and Dad died, I’d just started taking swim lessons at the YMCA. I was learning all the different strokes.”
Pain laced her voice and was written all over her face, but I didn’t call attention to it. The reality of our lives was that our parents were dead. It was sad, but we needed to come to terms with it, which meant speaking about it without fear.
“All right,” I said. “Let’s see if we can find somewhere for you to continue with swimming.”
“And drama.”
Drama? What the hell is she talking about?
She must have noticed my confusion. “Drama like theater,” she explained. “The drama teacher at school runs a summer program. She talked about it on Friday.”
“Is it summer school?” I asked.
Her brow wrinkled. “I don’t think so. I think it’s just extracurricular, but it’s at the school. I don’t know everything about it.”
“Then your assignment is to find out all the information about it so we can see if we can make it work.” I wanted to make it work. I hadn’t forgotten about Ashley’s former extracurricular activities. Perhaps if my aunt and uncle had kept her busy in productive activities, she wouldn’t have fallen in with the wrong crowd.
I looked at Ben. “You’ll be in summer school. That will take up most of your time, but is there anything else you want to do?”
I braced myself for another attitude-laden retort, but he just shrugged. “Like you said, that’ll take up all of my time.”
Even still, I made a mental note to see if the university offered enrichment programs over the summer in their computer science department. But hell, with all the activities the girls wanted to do and with Ben being in summer school half the day, I didn’t know how I was going to have time for football. Plus, I needed to take some classes over the summer. Athletes took the lightest possible load during the season, which meant we had to make up for it during other semesters, including summer. My schedule was already going to be full as it was.
How the hell am I going to make this work? The only thing I knew was that I couldn’t do it alone. I needed to hire a nanny.
But shit, that wasn’t what the kids were used to. My mom had been a teacher, which meant she’d had summers off. I had fond memories of her taking us to the beach, the zoo, and other fun pla
ces. By the time I was Ben’s age, I was too cool to tag along when she took my younger siblings. Now I wished I’d gotten over myself and gone.
Even without the extra activities, though, I would be screwed. Ben would be in summer school, and Ashley hadn’t shown me she was responsible enough to watch Emily for an extended amount of time. I didn’t want to stick them in some summer camp. Besides, I’d made a big deal of asking them what activities they wanted to do. I couldn’t tell the kids that they were off the table, that they would have to go to summer camp instead so I could do what I wanted to do. Hell no, I wouldn’t do that.
“What’s wrong?” Ashley asked.
I drummed my fingers on the table. “Just trying to figure it all out.”
“Well, what do you want to do?” Ashley asked, taking on the role I had just been playing. If I hadn’t been so stressed, it would have been humorous.
“What I want isn’t as important.” Even as the words left my mouth, they rang false. My siblings were more important without a doubt, but I knew I would resent them if I had to give everything up. I was willing to make sacrifices, but I had to draw the line somewhere.
Then I thought about Uncle Brian. Isn’t that what he essentially did? Put himself and his own needs and wants before the kids? Not only would that make me feel like an asshole, I simply couldn’t do that to them. I would just have to suck up whatever resentment took root.
“You said you have football,” Ashley said. “So what is that, a couple times a week?”
I nearly laughed at her, but then I realized she was serious. She didn’t know the type of commitment football required.
“It’s every day, actually. But don’t you worry about that.”
“Well, you have to play.” Her tone was matter-of-fact, as if the issue were already settled. “You said we had to make this work for everyone. That includes you.”
I stared at my sister. Ashley’s words amazed me. That was a hell of a lot more maturity than I’d expected from her. My pride swelled. Still, that didn’t change the facts—I was the only adult in our little family.
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