by K. A. Finn
‘No offence, but I don’t want to do it for you.’
‘Valid point.’ He pops another sweet into his mouth. ‘Listen, buddy. You’ve sang in front of thousands of screaming fans all over the world. You need to get a bit of that Tate Archer confidence back starting by asking her out. The last two times you met her you didn’t exactly show your best side.’ He snorts to himself. ‘Fucking understatement. Falling asleep beside her doesn’t exactly scream I’m interested in you. Don’t worry about that now though. Think of it this way - it can only get better from here.’
‘Seriously? That was the worst pep talk I’ve ever heard.’
‘It wasn’t my best I’ll admit. You play guitar, you ride a bike, and you sing well enough I suppose. It’s what you’re known for. Has this girl seen any of that yet?’
‘Ah. There’s one problem with that.’
‘It’s you. Of course there’s a fucking problem. Do tell.’
‘Chloe doesn’t know who I am.’
‘What do you mean? You haven’t told her your name?’
‘No, I did. Well, just my first name. I told her my name and said I was a musician.’
Gregg raises his eyebrows. ‘And?’
‘And she didn’t recognise me.’
‘Are you serious?’
Tate nods. ‘I thought she was just pretending not to know me at first, but she’s been off-grid for the last year. What the hell was I supposed to say? Hi my name’s Tate and I’m famous. I’d sound like a right fucking dick.’
Gregg sits back and rubs a hand over his face. ‘Damn, buddy. You finally found an eligible female who doesn’t watch TV. Wow, didn’t think they existed anymore.’
Tate makes a face and sighs. ‘Tell me about it. With her, I’m just me. We have normal conversations. The last few months don’t come up at all. It’s kind of a nice relief.’
‘You need to figure out a way to tell her, you know that right?’
He rubs a hand over his face and looks across at the mountains in the distance. ‘I’m not trying to deceive her, Gregg. I just... damn it, I just want to be with someone who wants to be with me. The real me. No celebrity stuff. No cameras. No thinking they already know me because my fucking bio is on a website they read.’
‘I get that, but look at it from her side. When, and it is a when, she finds out, it’ll go down one of two ways. One, she’ll be super thrilled to be up close and personal with the legendary Tate—’
‘If you say Tate Archer I’ll deck you.’
‘Sorry. Or two, she’ll feel utterly humiliated, betrayed, and foolish because she was with the legendary... well, you, and you lied to her about it.’
‘So it’s a win-win for me.’
His sarcasm isn’t lost on Gregg. ‘Yes. It’ll be terminal. You have to tell her the truth, Tate. Ideally before you’re surrounded by a horde of screaming fans when you’re out with an unsuspecting Chloe. Just come clean with her.’ Gregg winces when he realises what he said. ‘Sorry. Bad choice of words.’
Tate grimaces as he looks back to his friend. ‘Then there’s all that. Why the fuck would she want anything to do with me after all that?’
‘Oh come on, man. You got yourself sorted. You should be proud of that.’
‘I’d be more proud if I hadn’t used in the first place, but that doesn’t change anything. Chloe deserves someone with a few dozen less issues than I’ll be throwing at her.’
‘Fair enough. So you’ll walk away then?’
He doesn’t realise he’s scratching his arm until Gregg sends another thump his way.
‘Find another way of getting rid of your frustration and leave your fucking arm alone.’
‘I’m not frustrated.’ Gregg looks sideways at him, one eyebrow raised. ‘What?’
‘Yeah well you’ll be frustrated and some if you don’t get yourself together. You messed up. You sorted yourself out. No big deal. Time to move on. We’re all human and we all fuck up from time to time. You can’t let one mistake define who you are. Learn from your mistakes, not sit around and wallow in them.’
‘It’s not done though. It’s always going to be there, lurking in the background.’
‘Oh for the love of God. Since when have you been such a drama queen? How can you possibly expect anyone else to accept what happened if you can’t? Call her. Make a date. Or so help me I’ll do it for you and that would seriously mess with your tough guy image.’
8
Tate stands at the door to Dorothy’s house and looks over his shoulder. Gregg waves at him from his truck parked a little way down the hill. Nothing like an audience, but Gregg refused to go until Tate had asked Chloe out. Gregg waves to him and points to the door. Tate clenches his jaw and looks at the brightly painted red door. If he can get on stage in front of thousands of people and sing, he can ask Chloe out. It’s not a big deal.
Except it really is.
A part of him is worried she’s going to say no. He wouldn’t blame her. He hasn’t exactly been painting himself in a good light. If anything, he’s firmly wedged himself in the slightly odd stranger category. Not once has he been so hesitant about asking someone out. He’d see someone he likes and that would be it. Nerves had never played a part before. He doesn’t know if it’s so different with her because, for once, he actually gives a damn about her, or if he’s knocked his confidence to a seriously pathetic level after what he did.
Gregg flashes the truck lights at him and Tate counters with a glare that does nothing to dampen Gregg’s irritating mood. He straightens his shoulders and takes a deep breath before pressing the doorbell.
Maybe she’s not in. That might not be a bad thing. Then the door opens. Chloe smiles when she sees him which isn’t a bad start. Her hair is tied in a loose bun and she’s wearing tattered jeans and a paint splattered t-shirt.
‘Hey. This is a surprise.’ She looks down at her clothes and blushes. ‘I’m doing some watercolour painting. I’m not the neatest so I plan for a paint explosion. Better safe than sorry.’
Tate thinks she looks beautiful, but he keeps it to himself. Nothing like complimenting someone just before they tell you to get lost.
She steps back and gestures to the hall. ‘Do you want to come in?’
‘I can’t. I’ve got to be somewhere.’
Her face drops a little, but maybe that’s wishful thinking. ‘Okay. So did you want me for something?’
He stuffs his hands into the pockets of his jeans to stop himself from fidgeting. ‘Yeah. I want to apologise for what happened on the beach. I’m trying to deal with some stuff and I’m not sleeping great because of it. It wasn’t anything to do with you— er, me falling asleep I mean. I don’t want you to think I was bored by your company or anything like that.’
She smiles widely at him. ‘Yeah, I have to admit that was the first time I’ve driven someone to sleep before. It’s fine, really. I was just worried about you when you ran off like that.’
‘Yeah. Classic actions of a mortified man.’
‘There’s nothing to be mortified about. It’s not a big deal. Forget about it.’
He forces himself to smile, hoping it doesn’t come across as a grimace. Hurdle one safely negotiated over. ‘I actually wanted to ask you something. Do you have any plans for lunch tomorrow?’
Chloe frowns at him but doesn’t say anything for longer than he would have liked. ‘Me? No... why?’
‘I was thinking of taking my motorbike up the coast for a spin. I thought you might like to come... with me... on my bike. We could have a picnic. If you want... or not. We could do something else if you’d prefer. I’m not fussed about where we go, I mean. Not about you coming...’ For fuck’s sake Tate shut up! If he could punch himself in the jaw without scaring her away once and for all he’d do it. He throws her another uneasy smile and prays for the ground to open and save him from whatever the hell is going on.
‘I’d love that. A picnic sounds lovely.’
‘What? Really?’
�
�Why do you sound so surprised?’
‘I don’t know. I just thought... Nothing. Okay, so I’ll pick you up about noon tomorrow. I’ll sort out the food.’
‘Are you sure?’
‘Yeah. Anything you don’t fancy?’
He could swear she looks him up and down before she shakes her head. ‘No, nothing I can think of.’
‘Great. So I’ll see you tomorrow. Oh and make sure you wear jeans for the bike.’
Her smile nearly knocks him on his ass. ‘I can’t wait.’
He nods and leaves the doorway before he makes a complete tit of himself. He climbs in beside Gregg and slowly turns his head to face his friend. ‘If you don’t wipe that fucking smile off your face, I’ll make you walk home.’
‘I take it the delightful Chloe accepted your proposal?’
‘You really want me to say it, don’t you?’
Gregg continues grinning.
‘Okay. You were right. Thank you for sharing your infinite wisdom with us mere mortals.’
Gregg nods and points down the road. ‘That wasn’t too hard to say, was it? Now, home please. You’ve got a picnic to plan.’
∞
Chloe tightens her grip around Tate’s waist and smiles widely under the helmet. When he called around yesterday and suggested they take a spin up the coast on his bike, she had said yes without thinking about it. Then the realisation of what she’d agreed to settled in and most of the evening was spent mentally kicking herself and trying to talk herself into it.
It had nothing to do with the picnic with Tate. It was entirely down to the motorbike part. It was one thing sitting behind him on Jove. It was quite another to be on the back of a motorbike when she could go flying off at any second and die in so many horrible ways. Her fear had diminished a little when she finally saw the bike in question. In all her scenarios, it had been a small, dirt-bike style thing that didn’t give much protection from the road. What he arrived on was an entirely different machine. The black and red Kawasaki was enormous and looked like something from a science fiction film.
After a few minutes she found herself enjoying the experience. Tate handled the bike like a pro, not once doing anything to make her feel uneasy. It also wasn’t overly unpleasant having to tightly wrap her arms around his stomach to stop herself from falling off.
He pulls in at a metal barrier at the side of the road and stands the bike up as he dismounts and unlocks the padlocks. He drives through and locks the gate again. The path weaves around the headland to a small clearing at the top. He stops the bike and kills the engine. Chloe takes off the helmet and accepts his help to dismount. She rearranges her hair as much as she can and glances up at him. When she sees his face she smiles widely. He looks so much happier than she’s seen him before.
‘You loved every second of that, didn’t you?’
He smiles down at her, sending Chloe’s heart on a free fall. ‘I missed it. It’s been a long time since I’ve had it out.’
He holds out his hand to help her step onto the path that runs down the side of the cliff and doesn’t let go. And Chloe doesn’t want him to. She could get used to this Tate. She knows whatever is hurting him is still there, but if he can get some true happiness from moments like this, it’s bound to help him.
She’s never been like this around anyone before. Something about Tate knocks her off balance and she’s scared, but not of Tate himself. Even with whatever is bothering him deep down, she feels safe with him. It’s everything else she knows about him that’s scaring her. He’s so opposite to her in so many ways. Maybe in too many ways.
He’s a gorgeous, tattooed, and pierced musician who rides a motorbike. What could he possibly see in her? She’s not putting herself down, just being realistic. Surely she can’t be his type. Then again, maybe he doesn’t see her like that. Maybe she’s just someone to talk to... or not to talk to. He’s not exactly overly chatty. Whatever his reasons for wanting to spend time with her, she knows he could so easily hurt her and not even know it. That’s the part that’s scaring her. She likes him more than she should and certainly more than the sensible side of herself thinks she should.
They get to the cliff edge and Chloe covers her mouth with her hands. On the ground in front of the brightly painted summer house is a picnic blanket with an impressive array of nibbles laid out.
‘Did you do this?’
‘My mum’s friend lives further along the track. I asked if I could bring you here for a picnic and she insisted I let her arrange the food. She wasn’t bowled over when I mentioned I was planning a few sandwiches and a packet of crisps.’
‘What’s wrong with that? Sounds like every picnic I’ve ever had.’
He smiles widely at her. ‘Thank you. That’s exactly what I said to her. Anyway, she didn’t agree so she sorted all this out.’
‘It looks amazing.’
‘Probably best we get stuck in.’
They sit down and Tate takes the covers off the various containers and plates. He hands her a glass and fills it with lemonade. ‘Cheers.’
She taps her glass against his and sips her drink. She seriously doubts he’d go to this much trouble unless he at least liked her.
∞
Tate looks out at the sea and smiles to himself. This went better than he thought. He’d never done anything like this before. Romance and him didn’t quite gel, but he wasn’t going to back down from the challenge. He’d made a right tit of himself every other time he’d seen her. The fact she even agreed to this after his disaster of an invitation was a miracle. One he wasn’t going to waste. It was time for her to meet the real him. Well, the real non-celebrity him.
He glances over at her and a knot forms in his stomach. Her long dark curly hair is tied back in a low ponytail with shorter strands framing her face. Her long neck is exposed and begging to be kissed. Through the unassuming t-shirt and jeans, he can make out every curve of her body and he loves what he sees. Having her sitting tight against him on the way up here was torture. The feel of her hands on his stomach, of her body against his made it damn difficult to concentrate. Everything about her makes it difficult to concentrate.
She stretches her legs out in front of her. ‘It’s beautiful up here. Do you come here often?’
He nods. ‘Grace lets us use it whenever we want. First time for something like this though.’
‘Really?’
‘Really. I usually come here alone to write or get away for a bit. It’s a great thinking spot.’
‘I can see why. I could get lost up her for hours. Just me and my sketchpad.’
‘That my cue to go?’
‘You can stay a little longer. If you go I’ll have to eat the rest of this food. If you stay, I’ll be polite and limit myself.’
Tate laughs at that. ‘Forget being polite, go for it.’
‘So,’ Chloe asks as she piles salad onto her plate, ‘I know you said you’re staying with your parents for a bit but where do you live when you’re on your own?’
‘Blackrock. I’m hoping to move back soon. I got used to living by myself. Going back to living by their rules under their roof is wearing a little thin.’
‘I know what you mean. I’m in between places right now. I’m just glad Gran is away for a few weeks. She can be a little eccentric.’
‘Dorothy? Hell, she’s more than a little eccentric. I mean that in a nice way, believe it or not. She’s crazy but in all the best ways.’
Chloe laughs at that. ‘I don’t think I could have described her better myself. How long have you been staying with your parents?’
Tate takes another bite of a carrot stick before answering. He kind of opened the door to this conversation. That doesn’t mean he wants to step through. ‘A few weeks.’
‘Do you mind me asking why?’
And there she goes, showing him through the door. ‘I wasn’t well for a bit. I’m better now, but I guess they’re still worrying. I could have gone home but it was easier to come back her
e for a few weeks.’
He watches her face as she takes in what he said. The natural thing would be to ask what was wrong with him, but surprisingly she doesn’t go there.
‘I’m glad you’re feeling better now. I’m sure your parents appreciate having you close. I would imagine Jove likes having you around too.’
He smiles and a little of the weight lifts from his shoulders. He knows if things continue to go well between them, he’ll have to tell her the details, but not today. ‘Yeah. It wasn’t easy for them so I guess letting Mum fuss over me for a bit isn’t too much to ask. I’ve got to admit, being this close to Jove is a bonus for me too. I miss not being able to take him out every day when I’m back in town.’
‘Do your parent’s ride him when you’re not here?’
‘No. Mum has her own horse and Dad doesn’t ride. Don’t get me wrong, they look after him, but he can be a bit of a handful. Their neighbour takes him out for me. I shoot him a text when I know I won’t be around and he’ll exercise him for me.’
‘That’s a great arrangement for both of you.’
‘I know. Ideally I’d like to get somewhere in the country or on the coast. Somewhere with room for him, but I need to be based a little closer to civilisation right now.’
‘You’re not a city guy then?’
Tate shakes his head. ‘No. I’m a fan of wide open spaces and not a lot of people. You?’
Chloe leans back on her elbows and looks out at the sea. ‘After being with my cantankerous uncle for nearly a year in the middle of nowhere, I’m appreciating having people around. Long term though, I’d probably prefer space to a crowded city. For now having somewhere of my own is the priority. I really couldn’t care where it is.’
‘You looking at places?’
She shakes her head. ‘Not yet. I need to stay with Gran for a few months and build up a bit of a bank balance. She’s letting me live there rent free so I’m going to take advantage and save like crazy. It works well for both of us. My parents moved to Cork last year so I couldn’t stay with them. It was a win-win situation.’