by Heidi Swain
‘Nothing,’ I said, pointing along the bar to where Sam was tipping ice into a glass, ‘I don’t want a drink, thanks. I just want him.’
‘Oh landlord,’ laughed the two guys next to me, ‘there’s a woman here who wants you.’
‘He’s still as in demand as ever,’ teased another, sitting at a table. ‘I reckon I need to get me one of those bionic legs. That must be the thing that attracts the ladies, coz it can’t be his rugged good looks!’
Sam smiled and shook his head.
‘And there was me thinking it was my lived-in, careworn features and my unrivalled wit,’ he laughed.
I hadn’t realized that my voice had been raised enough to draw that much attention but I was too annoyed to care. Perhaps, I thought, it wouldn’t hurt to call Sam out in front of a few people. Maybe that would make him think about keeping his silly words to himself in the future.
He finished serving and then came to me.
‘Is everything all right?’ he asked, finally spotting my scowl and lighting the blue touchpaper by pointing it out, ‘You don’t look very happy.’
‘No,’ I said, banging my keys down on the bar, ‘everything is not all bloody right and I look like this because I’m not happy.’
There was a cheer from somewhere behind me and then everyone fell silent. You could have heard a pin drop.
‘Why did you tell Joe Upton that we kissed on Saturday night?’ I demanded, all thoughts of keeping it from Hope shoved aside as the red mist descended.
‘What?’
‘Why did you tell Joe Upton that we had an after-hours snog?’
I fixed him with my best death-stare, ignoring the confusion I could see clouding his usually bright green eyes.
‘You know as well as I do, that nothing happened,’ I said, lowering my voice a little, but not enough to make it too difficult for everyone else to hear, ‘so why lie?’
Sam sighed and looked over the top of my head to where everyone was still holding their breath, waiting for his explanation and, hopefully, heartfelt apology.
‘I haven’t seen Joe Upton,’ he said.
His volume matched mine, but he sounded angry and not, as I had hoped, at all contrite.
‘The last I heard he’d left again,’ he hissed.
‘So,’ I said, feeling more indignant than ever, ‘how do you explain the fact that he’s just turned up at the cottage and told me that he called in here earlier and heard straight from the horse’s mouth all about what happened Saturday night.’
There was a low-level murmuring breaking out behind me, but I didn’t take my eyes off Sam.
‘I have absolutely no idea,’ he said, looking right back at me, ‘because I’ve been at the cash-and-carry all afternoon. I only got back about ten minutes ago.’
That rather took the wind out of my sails and I could hear a titter as well as muttering coming from the rapt crowd of listeners.
‘What?’
‘I haven’t been here since lunchtime,’ Sam said. ‘Not that I need to explain my movements to you as you seem to think you know them already. I haven’t seen Joe, I haven’t heard Joe and quite frankly, I can’t believe that you would think that I’d tell anyone about what happened Saturday night, especially as it was something and nothing.’
I swallowed, my eyes stinging with tears.
‘Perhaps you should ask Patrick over there if he knows anything about it,’ he said, pointing. ‘He’s one of Joe’s farmhands and he was hanging on in here until I turfed him out Saturday night. Maybe he saw something and had a word with his boss.’
I slowly turned to find a guy with scruffy shoulder-length hair, nursing a pint and looking sheepish.
‘Well?’ I demanded.
‘I was having a smoke out front earlier when I saw the boss,’ he explained, ‘and I might have mentioned that I had seen you and Sam having a bit of a moment.’
I felt my misplaced anger oozing away and puddling around my feet.
‘I’d had a pint or two that night,’ he admitted, ‘so I might not have quite got all the details right, but the pair of you were definitely in some sort of clinch.’
Sam shook his head in disbelief and let out a guttural growl.
‘She’d had a pint or two as well, you prat,’ he growled at Patrick, as he pointed at me. ‘She fell over and I caught her.’
It had been wine rather than beer, but that was a minor detail and not worth mentioning.
‘Oh,’ said Patrick.
‘It was a reflex action,’ Sam went on, ‘nothing more. And besides, I could hardly risk her bloody suing me if she took a knock on the way down, could I?’
I didn’t think it would be helpful either to mention that when I had ended up in his arms, he had started to say something very interesting to me about his head and his heart, but it was all clear as a bell in my head now.
‘I suppose not,’ Patrick muttered.
Sam turned his attention back to me and shook his head.
‘The show’s over, folks,’ he announced, trying to draw a line under the completely unnecessary scene I had just instigated.
It took a few seconds, but eventually everyone went back to their drinks and their own conversations, which were no doubt about me and my big mouth, and I bet a few of them were keener to still believe the fiction rather than the facts.
‘Well,’ said Sam, ‘that was unpleasant, wasn’t it?’
‘I’m so sorry,’ I said, feeling every bit as bad as I deserved to. ‘Joe said—’
‘I don’t care what he said,’ Sam interrupted. ‘I’m more upset that you thought I would break the promise I’d made.’
‘I’m sorry,’ I said again.
‘Words spread like wildfire around here,’ he reminded me. ‘This will be all over Wynmouth by closing time tonight.’
‘But what about Patrick,’ I reminded him. ‘I daresay he’d already told everyone anyway.’
‘No, he hadn’t,’ said Sam. ‘You only had to see the look on everyone’s faces. This was completely fresh news. The only person Patrick told was his boss and that was because he no doubt wanted to curry favour.’
The implications of what I had just done were beginning to hit home and I rather wished I’d ordered a stiff one when asked.
‘And it won’t matter that nothing happened and I’ve told everyone that nothing happened,’ Sam went on, ‘not when the alternative is so much more appealing.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Well, which version of this do you reckon will have the most mileage?’ he asked. ‘The landlord catches a drunk punter as she stumbles, or, the landlord who happens to be renting his cottage to an attractive holidaymaker is caught in a steamy embrace with her after hours.’
‘The one with the most sex in it,’ grinned the lad serving as he reached behind Sam for a bottle of tonic mixer.
‘Oh god,’ I said, snatching up my keys and ignoring how flattered I’d felt that Sam had said I was attractive. ‘I need to speak to Hope.’
I dashed out of the pub before he could stop me and ran down to the café, hoping to catch her before she closed up for the day.
‘Hope!’ I called, spotting her as she was just about to leave.
‘Hey, Tess,’ she smiled.
‘Hey,’ I puffed, as I bent to nurse the stitch in my side and catch my breath.
‘What’s going on?’
‘I need to talk to you,’ I panted. ‘Have you got a minute?’
I was more than mildly confused by Hope’s reaction when I described what had happened between Sam and I. Obviously, I didn’t share that he had made mention of his head and heart, or the fact that I had really wanted to kiss him and have him kiss me back. Neither did I mention the role Joe had played in the whole debacle, nor the total arse I had just made of myself in the pub having taken his words at face value.
I stuck to the simple facts, i.e. that there was now a rumour going around that Sam and I had kissed, but we absolutely hadn’t. It was all a silly mis
understanding and the person who had thought he’d seen us in an embrace had actually seen me fall and Sam catch me.
‘Okay,’ Hope shrugged.
She seemed completely unconcerned.
‘You do believe me, don’t you?’
‘Of course, I do,’ she laughed. ‘Why wouldn’t I? Stop looking so worried,’ she insisted. ‘Folk are always happiest when they’re gossiping, Tess, and this will only run until the next thing comes along. Honestly, just let it go.’
‘All right.’
‘I need to head home,’ she said walking over to her car. ‘I told Mum I was on my way ages ago. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?’
‘Okay,’ I said. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow.’
It wasn’t until she had gone that it dawned on me she had got the wrong end of the stick. It seemed she thought I was worried about what people would think of me, rather than what she would think. But in spite of the misunderstanding, I was pleased to have reached her before the rumour mill did, and I had to be satisfied with that.
*
Having tried to make amends with Sam in the pub and given the low-down to Hope before she heard the enhanced part deux version, the only other person I needed to talk to was Joe. I could understand that he felt protective towards Hope because he was clearly still smitten with her, but why let me assume that the person who had gone blabbing about our non-kiss was Sam?
I can’t deny that as I drove out to the farm, I was beginning to feel scared that he was purposefully trying to stir up trouble for his old friend. After all, the guy was responsible for his little brother’s death and he had also won Hope’s heart but, surely, Joe understood that moving back and making everyone’s lives a misery was not going to give him any satisfaction or peace in the long run.
‘Hey!’ I called as I swung my car off the road, on to the farm drive and came bumper to bumper with a tractor. ‘I need to talk to you.’
‘What the hell are you doing?’ Joe shouted, opening the door and jumping out with Bruce hot on his heels. ‘I could have hit you, swinging in here at that speed.’
I quickly climbed out before Bruce’s jumping up and sharp claws left their mark on the paintwork.
‘Never mind my driving,’ I insensitively bit back. ‘I want to know why you told me that it was Sam who told you what had happened between us in the pub.’
‘I thought you said nothing had happened.’
‘You know what I mean.’
He made a grab for Bruce’s collar and made the dog sit at his feet.
‘I never said it was Sam,’ he frowned, keeping a tight hold on Bruce, who had started to whine and looked like a coiled spring, his tail thumping on the dusty drive.
‘Yes, you did,’ I shot back.
‘No,’ said Joe, ‘I did not.’
It seemed we had reached an impasse and I mentally trawled back over everything he had said in the cottage, just to be sure.
‘Well,’ I flushed, when I recalled he hadn’t actually mentioned Sam by name, ‘you told me you’d been to the pub and had been given a first-hand account.’
‘So?’
‘So, you let me think that it came from Sam, didn’t you? As far as I knew, he was the only person in the pub that late at night. I thought everyone else had left while we were clearing up. I had no idea that this Patrick guy, who works for you, was still there.’
‘But that’s not my fault,’ Joe pointed out, sounding annoyed. ‘I can’t be held responsible for what you thought I’d said, as opposed to what I’d actually said, can I?’
I didn’t answer. I suppose it did make more sense that he would stay and have a coffee in the pub once he’d realized Sam wasn’t there.
‘You were the one who jumped to conclusions, Tess,’ Joe carried on. ‘I only mentioned it because I was looking out for Hope.’
‘Right,’ I said, ‘I see.’
‘So, are we good?’
‘Yes,’ I said. ‘We’re good.’
I was embarrassed but also relieved that I had read the situation wrong. Joe hadn’t been trying to stir up trouble after all. I had just imagined he had.
‘I’m sorry,’ I told him, ‘and you needn’t worry about Hope because I’m not interested in Sam that way.’
‘You’re not?’
‘No,’ I lied, ‘and even if I was, I’d hardly do anything about it, would I? I’ve struck up a great friendship with Hope and I’d never go behind her back.’
‘Of course, you wouldn’t,’ he said, shaking his head, ‘and I’m sorry for inferring that you would.’
‘Okay.’
‘So, can we just forget about this then?’ he asked.
‘Well,’ I said, ‘we can try, but given that I went to the pub after you left and accused Sam of spreading gossip in front of a packed bar, that might be easier said than done.’
‘Oh no,’ said Joe, ‘you didn’t?’
‘I did,’ I said, wincing at the memory. ‘You know, things would be a whole lot easier around here if you two could leave the past in the past and at least try to get along. That way there wouldn’t be anything to misinterpret or get muddled up.’
I wasn’t trying to shift the blame for what I had done on to either him or Sam, but if they could just rub along, it would be a help to everyone.
‘You make it sound so easy,’ said Joe, biting his lip.
‘It could be,’ I began.
‘No,’ he stepped in, cutting me off, ‘it couldn’t and I’m sorry, Tess, but I really need to get on.’
I watched as he climbed back into the cab and tried to settle Bruce. He looked like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders and I wished I knew what I could do to make it all melt away.
Chapter 19
More than aware that my assumptions had led me to making a mess of things, I decided to stay out of everyone’s way and lay low for a couple of the days. I had upset, angered and disappointed both Sam and Joe, and let Hope down to boot, so the best thing I could do was bide my time and let the dust settle. It didn’t feel good to have cocked up so badly and I didn’t like myself very much. I had steamed in like a bull in a china shop and had consequently scuppered my chance to act as intermediary between the two men I had become friends with. That is, assuming they still wanted to be friends with me.
I constantly thought back to what Sophie had said just a few days before – ‘before you decide that you have discovered something isn’t true or real, and act on it, make sure you’re in full possession of all the facts and that you have them in the right order.’ I had been in no doubt that Joe had heard some gossip in the pub, but I certainly hadn’t gathered ‘all the facts’ about it or checked their order before reacting to them.
Mulling all this over led me back to Mum’s diary again. For a while I had been utterly convinced that I had interpreted everything correctly, but now, having made such a silly mistake and upset my friends in the process, I was doubting the evidence typed out in front of me.
There was nothing specific to keep nudging my belief in what Mum had written into disbelief, but there was something niggling away nonetheless and this involved my last living relative so I really couldn’t afford to get it wrong. If I unjustifiably acted on the information and confronted Dad with it, then the implications could last for the rest of my life.
I daresay some people would have said that what went on in my parents’ marriage was nothing to do with me and, now that Mum had gone, I should let it all lie, but there was more to it than that. What Mum had written about Dad’s behaviour made a mockery of everything he claimed to believe in. If what Mum had recorded was true then he was the biggest hypocrite and his whole ethos about life, as well as business, was a sham and, as I was still (for the moment) his most senior employee, that made it a lot to do with me. These weighty accusations had the potential to be about more than just my parents’ marriage, they were calling Dad’s whole character into question.
*
Having opted to keep a low profile, I left it until
the last minute to head out and quietly mingle with the gathering crowd at the beach huts, just as the tide was on the turn mid-morning on the Friday of Hope’s meticulously planned ‘Big Beach Clean’.
I knew she had been a bit concerned about how many people would turn out as it was a weekday and not yet the holidays, but there were more than enough of us to make an impact. She had arranged that in subsequent months the event would happen over a weekend, but with the solstice falling on a Saturday this year, she had thought it best not to have both things on the same day, which made perfect sense to me. There was going to be plenty to do ahead of the party tomorrow without having to worry about keeping an eye on everyone’s safety and disposing of the waste we had all gathered to collect.
I tried to stay out of his way, but Sam purposefully came to stand next to me, before giving Hope an encouraging thumbs up as she climbed on to the seawall and clapped her hands together to gain everyone’s attention.
‘Good morning!’ she shouted, once they had quietened down. ‘And welcome to this, the first Wynmouth beach clean event. I’m hoping many more will follow, but that in the future we won’t have anywhere near as much rubbish to clear as today.’
Everyone clapped and cheered in response.
‘Before we get started,’ she quickly told them before they started chatting again, ‘there are a few things I need to bring to your attention.’
Having listened to her health and safety, safeguarding and ‘what to do with the rubbish you collect’ speech at least a dozen times already, I found myself zoning out.
‘Did you ever find out if any of the huts were available to rent?’ Sam asked me, nodding towards the prettily painted row.
I was relieved he wasn’t going to ignore me, but I couldn’t help thinking that it was a rather out of the blue thing to ask, but then he was probably looking for a convenient conversational opener that didn’t involve me accusing him of anything.
‘No,’ I whispered back, my eyes still focused on Hope. ‘I didn’t bother. To be honest, I didn’t think I’d use one enough to warrant it.’
Sam nodded.