by Julie Kagawa
Again, she hesitated, before giving a tiny shrug. “You may call me Nyx.”
“Nyx,” I repeated. “And you once served the Lady, correct? In what way?”
She gave a weird little smile and backed up a step. Mist and fog curled around her, nearly hiding her from view. “I was the Lady’s assassin,” she said.
And she was gone.
Chapter 6
Ethan’s eyes bulged as I stepped from the Veil into the back room of the church. “There you are,” he breathed. “What took you so long? Everyone is impatient. Oberon already sent an emissary back here to see what the delay was. Thankfully, the emissary was Puck, so we dodged a bullet there. But we don’t have a lot of time.” He eyed me, and his irritation switched to concern. “You okay?”
“Yes.” I shook myself, putting the meeting with the Lady’s assassin from my mind for now. This day, though weird and full of faery hijinks, was not about me. “What about you?” I asked my best friend. “Nervous?”
“Terrified,” was the wry answer. “But not in the way you’d think. Really, I’m more concerned that Puck will do something else to disrupt things before the end of the ceremony. I just want this day over with so we can get on with our lives without having to worry that the roof will start raining frogs or something. Marrying Kenzie, though...” He shrugged, and a smile crept across his face. “I’ve never been more certain of anything.”
“I’m happy for you,” I told him, squashing the feeling of wistful longing threatening to rise within. Again, this day was not about me. I’d had my chance and destroyed it with reckless decisions. Ethan and Kenzie had fought side by side from the beginning and had never wavered in what they knew was right. They’d earned all the happiness today would bring them. “Both of you. After everything that happened, you deserve it.”
Ethan reached out and gripped my shoulder, his expression one of understanding. “She would be proud right now,” he said quietly, and we both knew whom he was speaking of. Her face danced across my vision, yellow flowers woven in her hair, and I took a deep breath to keep my throat from closing up.
“Yeah,” I husked out. “I hope so.” Shaking myself, I looked at Ethan and forced a grin. “Well, shall we? This wedding can’t happen without the groom.”
“Or the best man.” He smiled wryly. “Though, I fully regret telling you to come later and that I didn’t need any help before the ceremony started. Next time I say something like that, just have Kenzie kick me.”
A few minutes later, I stood behind Ethan at the front of the church as everyone in the congregation rose to watch the bride walk down the aisle. In the front row, my mother beamed with pride as she stood next to Ash. A few spaces away, Oberon looked bored with it all. One row behind them, Puck stood with his arms crossed and a huge grin on his face; he winked at Kenzie as she walked by, and I hoped he didn’t have any more of his “helpful” surprises up his sleeve.
Ethan didn’t see any of them. He didn’t see the minister or the congregation or anyone else. His gaze was riveted solely on Kenzie, and the look in his eyes as she walked up made my heart ache with longing. Listening to them as they said their vows, watching as they promised each other forever, it was all I could do to keep smiling. When they sealed their vows with a kiss, I had to look away. Afterward, the happy couple was engulfed in hugs and congratulations. Kenzie’s father even shook Ethan’s hand with a smile that was only slightly forced.
As everyone was making their way outside to head to the reception, I felt a presence at my back and turned to find Oberon gazing down at me.
The King of Summer regarded me with impassive, leaf-green eyes that, as usual, gave no hint as to what he was thinking. Of all the rulers in Faery, Oberon’s feelings toward me and what had transpired in the Lady’s war were still unknown. Titania despised me, of that I was certain. Mab, though she wasn’t entirely happy with what I had done, had accepted that my punishment was fair and just, and that was the end of it. Of the three, Oberon was the ruler who had given no indication of where we stood, whether he still considered me family or an enemy. In Faery, grudges lasted forever.
I bowed my head to the Seelie King. “Lord Oberon,” I said cautiously and received a nod in return. A sign that he at least acknowledged me as a ruler of Faery, even if his personal feelings were unclear. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”
“I did not expect to see you here,” the Summer Lord said. “When the Iron Queen told me her brother had invited all family members, I did not think she meant to include you. I am curious as to why you decided to attend the celebrations of those whom you betrayed.”
Well, I guess that answered my question. I felt my insides clench painfully, like a claw had grabbed my stomach and twisted it around, but I forced myself not to shrink before the Seelie King. Not to let him know I was dying inside.
“I am still family,” I told the Lord of Summer, making sure my voice did not tremble as I spoke. “I have not been exiled from the mortal world. When Ethan asked me to stand with him today, it was an honor to accept.”
“Your mortal family does not understand.” Oberon drew back. He didn’t sound angry; his tone remained calm and matter-of-fact, his demeanor expressionless as he regarded me. But I still felt the words like knife blows to my heart. “They think of you as kin. But Faery does not forget. Once a traitor, always a traitor. It is only a matter of time before you turn on us again.”
He turned and walked out, leaving me feeling like I’d been hit by a truck, then kicked repeatedly. For a moment, I considered leaving, quietly slipping into the Between and vanishing from sight. I wondered if everyone saw me as Oberon did: the exiled king, ruling in darkness, just waiting for his chance to betray Faery once more.
“Don’t let him get to you, kid.”
Puck’s voice echoed behind me. I turned and saw the red-haired prankster with a strangely serious expression on his face. It looked out of place on him.
“Oberon is an old faery,” Puck said without waiting for me to speak. “He’s been around awhile, and he’s seen almost everything. But remember, he’s still fey. He can only see things through the lens of an immortal. Certain human elements—love, selflessness, family devotion, forgiveness—he just doesn’t understand.” He pointed a finger at me with a smirk. “So don’t let him get into that sulky head of yours, princeling. One brooding Winter faery prowling around here is more than enough.”
Oberon did not attend the reception but headed back to Arcadia and the Summer Court, and Grimalkin also faded from sight, perhaps now bored that the possibility of Birdmageddon was over, but everyone else remained. Beneath a gazebo in the shade of several ancient oaks, I watched Ethan and Kenzie dance to the soulful melody of a jazz band (fully human, as Ethan wouldn’t hear of having faery music at his wedding) and smiled at their complete happiness.
But still, despite Puck’s reassurance, I couldn’t help but mull over Oberon’s words. Once a traitor, always a traitor. Did that mean I was destined to repeat the mistakes of my past, betraying everyone I loved, though I had sworn never to do such a thing again? Or did it mean that I’d always had evil inside me, and it was just my nature to hurt and destroy?
I was so distracted by my thoughts that I missed my cue to speak. Sitting at a long table beside the bride and groom, I was suddenly aware that the room had gotten quiet and everyone was looking at me expectantly.
Oh, right. Best man’s speech. I had agreed to say a few words, though now I regretted not having written anything down.
Clearing my throat, I stood, taking in the audience I spotted my parents at a table in the back, their eyes on me, and quickly looked away to gather my thoughts.
“I haven’t known Ethan and Kenzie very long,” I began into the silence. “Ethan and I weren’t childhood friends or playmates. We didn’t grow up together or anything like that. I’ve only known him a few years. But, even in that short a time, Ethan...basica
lly saved my life.”
There were a few wistful smiles around the room, mainly from the humans. They thought I was speaking metaphorically. There were no wistful looks from any of the fey listening to me, my parents included. They all knew what I was talking about.
“I was pretty horrible to him, to both of them,” I went on. “I did and said a lot of things I’m not proud of. Most people would’ve given up on me, written me off as a lost cause. But Ethan and Kenzie have a quality many do not. They are both the most stubborn people I have ever met in my entire life.”
That got several chuckles; even my father cracked a smile. Kenzie’s dad snorted loudly into his napkin. I waited a moment for the room to quiet before continuing.
“But even when I was at my worst,” I said, feeling all eyes on me, “I watched them. I watched them both struggle and fight and always come back. Even in the face of extreme hardship, their devotion to each other never wavered. And...neither did their belief in me.”
Quickly, I took a short breath to keep my voice from catching. I didn’t dare glance at the table where my parents were, afraid that whatever I saw on their faces might cause me to break down. “So,” I finished, “Ethan and Kenzie, I just wanted to take this moment to say...thank you. To you both. I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you.”
There were some awws and a smattering of polite applause as I sat down, but I barely heard it. The humans who didn’t know my past were not the ones I was speaking to. But Ethan and Kenzie both smiled at me, and the bride reached across her new husband to gently squeeze my arm. The look on their faces was one of understanding. They knew exactly what I meant.
The reception was shockingly peaceful. Even Razor and Puck behaved themselves, the former sitting on a chair with his glowing, maniacal grin, never taking his eyes off Kenzie, the latter supposedly on his best behavior after the near fiasco with the doves. With the exception of Guro, who kept glancing around with a small, knowing smile, the humans at the reception seemed happily oblivious that they were mingling with a group of immortal faeries. Kenzie’s father even had a long conversation with Ash, who appeared wholly interested in the state of the stock market these days. Of course, excluding the Great Prankster and a hyper gremlin, this group of fey were possibly the most trustworthy in all the Nevernever.
Later, I was sitting alone at a table, brooding into my coffee, when I felt a presence behind me and heard the scrape of a chair being pulled up.
“Mind if I join you?” asked the Iron Queen, taking the seat next to mine. She watched me for a moment, blue eyes appraising, then asked in a gentle voice, “What’s on your mind, Keirran?”
I looked into my coffee mug, thinking. One-word answers like Nothing never satisfied her. She’d told me that herself—my father had tried those same avoidance tactics when they were first together; they weren’t going to work any better for me than they had for him.
I couldn’t tell her. Not everything. Too many worries, failures, and regrets were swirling around inside: I couldn’t focus on even one thing. The Forgotten. The Between. Annwyl. Myself. What would happen to the Forgotten? Was I going to be a good king, as I had promised? Or was I destined to betray those I loved, again?
Once a traitor, always a traitor.
Also, somewhere out there was a vengeful faery who had once served as the Lady’s assassin, so that was going to be fun times, as well.
I sighed, feeling my mother’s worried gaze on me. “A lot of things,” I confessed. “But they’re mostly issues that have to do with the Forgotten and the Between. It’s not something the other courts can help with. This is my kingdom now.” I took a breath and set my jaw, resolved. “I have to figure it out myself.”
The Iron Queen nodded. “Don’t shut us out, Keirran,” she said, and her fingers gently curled around mine. “I know you have your own realm, and that our lives have to be different now, but whatever happens, you are still part of this family. We will never turn you away. Remember that.”
I nodded and returned the squeeze. “I will,” I murmured, remembering Puck’s words from earlier. Certain human elements—love, selflessness, family devotion, forgiveness—he just doesn’t understand.
Puck was right. My parents and closest friends had forgiven me, of that I was certain. But was their forgiveness deserved? Or was there a hidden dark side within me that was waiting to betray them all once more?
Evening fell, and the new couple departed in a flurry of hugs and well wishes. I embraced both Ethan and Kenzie, feeling a lump in my throat as they hugged me tightly, their raw emotions surrounding us all.
“We love you, Keirran,” Kenzie whispered as she drew back. “Stay out of trouble, you hear?”
“I will,” I promised, and Ethan nodded to me as a long black limo pulled up beside them. They climbed into the back of the vehicle, and I watched my two best friends ride away into their new life.
Halfway to the road, however, the limo skidded to a halt, making everyone watching it depart blink in surprise. Both side doors opened, releasing a flock of about a dozen small white birds. They spiraled into the air, cooing and shedding feathers like dandelion puffs, and fluttered away over the trees.
A murmur of awe went through the group of mortals behind me, and I chuckled quietly to myself. My parents were going to kill him, but it seemed the Great Prankster had gotten his surprise off, after all.
Epilogue
Night had fallen over the mortal realm by the time I reached Touchstone again, and a full silver moon hung low in the sky over the city. The Forgotten were out in force tonight, featureless silhouettes sliding along walls or ghosting down the streets, comfortable in the darkness and all it offered. They bowed to me, silent and reverent, as I passed. A few murmured a quiet greeting, but for the most part my subjects had embraced their roles as creatures of fear and the shadows. The things that lurked in closets and under beds. They all had accepted me as their king, but sometimes it felt as if I was the only real thing in this city of darkness, and if I stayed here too long, I would slowly lose all color and emotion, until I was merely a shadow, too.
I pushed those thoughts out of my head as I made my way through the gates of Touchstone Manor, past the piles of stones that were the anchor for the whole city, and through the large front doors of my estate. Inside the Gothic-inspired foyer, it was brighter than the city outside, but not by much, and the candles on the walls and in the alcoves did little to throw back the gloom. The hall appeared empty, but that was only because my guards and servants were very adept at blending in. I felt their gazes on me as I crossed the stones and climbed the stairs to my chambers. Closing the door behind me, I contemplated flopping down on the large four-poster bed but abruptly straightened, all my instincts flaring to attention. Once more, I wasn’t alone.
“A king should not be so easily found.”
Nyx stepped away from a corner, seemingly materializing from nothing. Her hood was up, and her yellow eyes glowed in the shadows between us.
“Nyx.” I gave her a wary nod. I didn’t ask how she’d gotten in. Being the Lady’s assassin, I assumed getting into places she shouldn’t was one of her specialties. “When I said you were welcome in Touchstone, I didn’t exactly mean an open invitation into my personal chambers. What do you want?”
“Your city is impressive,” the Forgotten said, waving a graceful arm at the window to the city below. “But your subjects...feel empty. They are nothing but shadows. Is this what the Forgotten have become now? What I am destined to become?
“I searched for the Lady,” the faery went on before I could answer. “I looked for her, asked about her, to see if anyone remembered her name.” Briefly, she closed her eyes, a flash of pain crossing her face before she could hide it. “But everywhere I went, it was the same. The Lady is gone. She no longer exists anywhere in Faery. Even the memory of her is beginning to fade. It appears what you said is the truth. The Lady is no mor
e. Her rule over the Nevernever has ended.”
“I am sorry,” I said quietly. “I don’t regret killing her, but I wish we could’ve come to an understanding.”
Surprisingly, Nyx shook her head in an almost impatient manner. “I am not here for revenge, Forgotten King,” she told me. “The Lady is dead. She was defeated and overthrown by a superior force. So be it. But my Order has always protected the ruler of Faery—we have done so since the beginning, and I must continue our purpose.”
Before I could say anything, the assassin stepped forward, brushed back her hood, and sank to her knees before me, bowing her head. “Forgotten King, I pledge myself to your service. Allow me to serve you as I once did the Lady. Let me be your hidden blade that protects you from the shadows and cuts the life from your enemies at your word.”
I blinked at her in shock. “You would switch allegiances? Just like that?”
“The Lady is dead. I see no reason to serve someone who is no longer here.” The faery’s voice was emotionless. “You defeated her, you have taken over her subjects and her kingdom, thus my loyalty goes to you. That is the way of my Order, even if I am the only one left.”
“I see.” Well, this was unexpected. What was I going to do with an assassin lurking in the shadows around me? “I accept your offer,” I told her, “on one condition. Don’t expect me to rule as the Lady did. I have no need of an assassin. I will not be sending you to kill anyone, whether they deserve it or not. Instead, I command you to protect the Forgotten and this realm to the best of your ability. If you cannot accept that, I advise you to find someone else to serve.”
“I understand, Your Majesty.” The faery didn’t lift her head. “Whatever you command, I will obey. Even if you have no need of my skills, I will continue to protect you and your kingdom for as long as I am able. That is the oath of my Order.”
“All right.” With a sigh, I raked a hand through my hair. The Lady’s assassin had just pledged her life to my service, and I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. “First order of business, then. You don’t have to bow to me every time we meet.”