"I'm not."
"I never wanted that for you," he hissed. "Don't you get that? You think me and Delia moved all the way out here for no reason? We didn't want you around the MC, and especially not fuckin' around with one of them."
Anger prickled my neck. Resentment. Bitterness. "Things don't always work out the way you want them to." I could have explained to him the line of events that led me to Austin but I wasn't going to. I was happy there, and I didn't regret my move for a second. And this man didn't deserve an explanation.
It wasn't like he'd explained anything to me. Ever.
"You don't get it..."
"There's nothing to get," I cut him off, sharply.
"Your mom—"
The more he mentioned her, the angrier I got because it made me think of the woman in his hotel room, and the little boy in Denver. "Don't bring her up."
His light colored eyes flashed. Indecision and who knows what else tore through him. "She was the love of my life."
Now, he was just asking for Dex to kick his ass. Better yet, I'd kick his ass. My hands clenched into fists in my lap. "Is that why you left? Because you loved her so much? You loved her so much you cheated on her and had a kid with someone else?"
He rocked back in his seat. "You don't get it," he repeated.
"No, I do get it. I get that you loved her in your own messed up way, but what were me and Will? Collateral damage? Accidents?" My chin tipped up on its own as my jaw clenched. "Nothing, right? We were nothing to you?"
"Goddamnit, that's not it at all. Why won't you stop being so fuckin' hostile and let me talk?" he snapped.
Yeah, I was done with this. Done with this man and this bull crap.
I swallowed hard and took a deep breath. "I'm here because you need to fix this mess with those Europeans before they kill me or someone I care about. This isn't a social visit to talk about how much you've sucked being a human being, much less a father."
"Quit being such a bi—"
The drop of two pizza trays on the table droned out the end of his sentence. Dex's imposing figure loomed over the table, his hands gripping the edge. "You finish that fuckin' sentence, and I'll skin you alive."
Was he going to call me a bitch? Me?
My throat knotted up at the same time tears managed to find their way into the backs of my eyes. I ducked my head to keep either of them from seeing my reaction. I had to take a deep breath to center myself.
Of all the people in the universe, why did I have to be related to such a douche bag?
Unfortunately, you don't get to choose family, Sonny had told me once. But you do get to choose everyone else. In this case, I was cherry picking who I was going to spend the gift of my life with. Now that I deserved. Even without the cancer, without losing my mom and yia-yia, I would have wanted more. Not this sloppy excuse of a man.
I blinked and blinked again until I got myself under control.
Looking up, I caught the murderous look on Dex's face. The way his shoulders stiffened. He knew. He knew exactly what I was battling.
I couldn't glance at my father as I spoke. I kept my gaze steady on the tip of Uriel's tentacle peeping out from the black lip of his collar. This was right. Being there with him, that was fate. That was me taking control of my life and paving a new path. "I never want to see you again."
It was only the straightening of Dex's back that gave a warning he had processed my words and come to a conclusion.
That conclusion was in the shape of his fist nailing my father in the chin.
Maybe in a few years, or heck, maybe even months from then, I might feel guilty about what we did after that.
Then again, maybe I wouldn't feel a thing. Maybe, just maybe, I would never think about that visit to the pizza place or the man we left bleeding there. Who knows.
But what I did know, without a doubt in my heart, was that we did the right thing. The only thing. Maybe not the ethical or the nice thing, but when you're left to fend for yourself and for the ones you love, being proper and good-hearted goes straight out of the window.
We left.
My dad's keys in Dex's pocket, Dex and I walked out hand in hand.
A ruthlessness I didn't think I was capable of reinforced my veins and determination filled me as I spoke for the first time after Dex had stood up for me. "How much do you think we can get for his bike?"
The slow way in which he turned his head, brow up and lips pursed, was a mixture of shock and something else. But the smile that took over his features after that was the most stunning thing I'd ever seen. He reached across the console to palm my cheek. Those tattooed fingers, with the words LOYAL DREAM etched on them permanently, filled my chest with so much love and assurance I would have gone through the incident moments before all over again a hundred times for the same result.
Dex's nostrils flared as his thumb swiped over the yellowing bruise along my cheekbone. "Not sure but I know somebody who will."
Thirty minutes later, our plan had been hatched, a motel room had been broken into, and a motorcycle had disappeared from the parking lot it'd been parked in.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Linking our fingers together, Dex led me toward the elevators that night. In a matter of hours, we'd committed at least four crimes between the two of us. Battery, assault, breaking and entering, theft and who knows what the heck else.
Who would have ever thought I'd consider myself a criminal? Normally, I sweat going five miles over the speed limit.
I wrapped both my arms around his, resting my forehead on his shoulder while we rode up silently. What was there to say? We'd taken fifteen thousand from the vent my dad had hidden it in—I didn't ask how Dex knew to look there—and taken his bike to Luther's friend, who assured us he could find a buyer for the Harley Davidson Classic. For a fee, of course.
Paperwork? Tax, title, and license?
Don't worry about it, he'd said. So I wasn't going to worry about it.
The only thing I was going to worry about were the remaining thousands my dad would still owe him if we got what was expected from the bike. The Reaper money.
"So...is there something you want to tell me?"
His fingers loosened around mine letting his fingernails scrape my palm. "I tell you everythin', honey."
"Not exactly," I said in a sing-song voice as we walked toward the hotel room. He slid the keycard in. "Dex, did you pay off the Reapers?"
He grunted, holding the door open for me to go through first.
I stopped in the middle of the room and waited for him to come in, setting the deadbolt. Gosh, he was so good-looking. His body was lean and long, his arms looked fantastic under his white shirt. Well, white with a couple small red dots on the chest. My sperm donor’s blood. Dex stopped just a few feet away from me, sliding his hands into his front pockets.
"Yeah." So simple. So honest.
"Why?" I cut the distance between us, stopping close enough so that I could slip my fingers beneath the band of his jeans. Warm skin greeted the backs of my fingers.
Dex reached up and pulled the elastic out of my messy bun. "'Cuz." He twisted the hair around his fingers, not watching my eyes. "I didn't want anybody botherin' you."
How the heck was I still standing?
"You think I want that douche-bag comin' around for you when your pa didn't pay up? Fuckin' asshole wasn’t even plannin’ on payin’ them back, babe."
I thought it was a little less him not remembering and a little more him just not choosing to remember. Dick head.
Dex's fingers made their way to my temple, the tips sliding down, down, down behind my ears and the column of my throat. "Don't like thinkin' about him wantin' you."
Him as in Liam.
Oh boy.
Everything in me that had been crushed and stomped on by my father's careless words and stupid actions, regenerated itself with Dex's touch and words. Slipping my fingers out of his jeans, I reached for the hem of his shirt and pulled it up enough to bare the low
er half of his abs.
"I'll pay you back the rest of the money," I promised, slipping my hand up his shirt to palm the space between his pecs. "It'll take me a while but—"
Dex's hands cupped the top of my head, stroking me tenderly. "No."
"I'm serious. I promise I'll pay you back—"
"No," he repeated. "You aren't payin' me back a cent."
Discomfort tingled the back of my neck. I owed him for a lot of things, but almost ten thousand was too much. The last thing I wanted was for him to think that I wanted to take advantage of him. "I am."
"No. You won't. Ritz, look at me." I tipped my eyes up to meet his blue ones. "I don't give a shit about the money. I'll make more."
A groan vibrated through my throat. "It's too much."
His lips pulled into a grim line, eyes searching mine. He wanted to argue with me, I could tell. But he didn't. That beautiful face was tight. "You wanna pay me back? Enroll in school and take over all the accountin' for the Club and the shop, yeah?"
My mouth drooped. "That's not the same."
"I'm not sayin' for a few months or somethin', baby. I'm sayin' you take it over from now on," he clarified.
From now on.
Oh friggin' hell.
"Take it or leave it," he murmured, his mouth losing that tight vector. "Don't care one way or another."
This man. “It’s too much money. Way too much money, Charlie. I don’t want to take advantage of you.”
“You’re not, babe. I know you and you know me. Either take the offer or leave it, but I’m not takin’ any of your money. You got the rest of your life to pay me back by doin’ shit I don’t like.”
My rib cage clenched all of the organs and muscles within it. It pulsed, full of life and warmth and gummy bears and glitter. This was... I don't know how to explain it—it was like Christmas morning when you were a kid. It was everything I’d wanted since my dad first left, in a way.
And there was nothing better than that.
"It's a deal," I agreed with him in a breathless whisper.
Each of his thumbs curved over the shells of my ears. "That's my girl."
His girl.
After all the crap that I'd gone through today, there couldn't have been three better words to hear.
Well, there were three other words I'd like to hear but I'd take these from him. That didn't mean that he was the only one who knew how to give. He'd given enough. My bones and heart knew that there was nothing for me to fear. I loved him and sometimes there were consequences of it that were scary, but it—the emotion itself—wasn't. I knew that now.
What kind of life was I living if I let my fears steer me? This was a gift I’d forgotten to appreciate lately. For so long I’d been happy to just be alive but now...now I had Dex. I had my entire life ahead of me, and I needed to quit being a wuss and grab life by the balls. In this case, I’d take his nipple piercings.
“What’cha thinkin’, Ritz?”
I held my hands out for him to see how badly they were shaking. “I’m thinking that I love you so much it scares me. See?”
Dex's thumbs tipped my chin back so that I could look at his face—at his beautiful, scruffy face. "Baby." He said my name like a purr that reached the vertebrae of my spine.
I curled my lips behind my teeth and took a deep breath, overwhelmed by the good things that nipped at my nervous system. "And even though it really scares the living crap out of me, I love you, and I want you to know that. Everything you've done for me..." Oh hell. I had to let out a long gust of breath. "Thank you. You're the best thing that ever yelled at me."
He murmured my name again, low and smooth. The pads of his thumbs dug a little deeper into the soft tissue on the underside of my jaw. "If all the shit I do for you, and all the shit I'd be willin' to do for you doesn't tell you how deep you've snuck into me, honey, then I'll tell you."
He lowered his mouth right next to my ear, his teeth nipping at my lobe before he whispered, "Love you."
The feeling that swamped me was indescribable.
He gave me hope. This big, ex-felon with a temper, reminded me of how strong I was, and then made me stronger on top of it.
"Dex," I exhaled his name.
He nipped my ear again. "I love you, Ritz." The scruff of his jaw scraped my own before he bit it gently. "Love your fuckin' face, your that's what she said jokes, your dorky ass high-fives and your arm, but I really fuckin' love how much of a little shit you are. You got nuts bigger than your brother, baby."
I choked out a laugh.
Dex tipped my head back even further, holding the weight on his long fingers as he bit the curve of my chin. "And those are gonna be my nuts, you little bad ass."
Fire shot straight through my chest. "Yeah?" I panted.
"Yeah." He nodded, biting my chin even harder. "I already told you I keep what's mine."
Epilogue
I was going to puke.
Literally.
"You're gonna have to pull over."
Sonny turned to look at me over his shoulder, eyes wide in exasperation. "Again?"
This was only the third time.
Well, the third time in the last hour.
The overly enthusiastic nod I gave him must have been enough for him to jerk the rental car over to the side of the road. The uneven payment made my stomach roll even harder. We'd barely come to a rolling stop when I threw the back passenger door open and jumped out, throwing up things that shouldn't have even been in my stomach after puking my guts out twice before.
To think that Dex's mom had told me I'd be suffering through this for the next two months.
Two months. If I was lucky.
Why? Why?
It wasn't as often anymore that I missed my mom but when the morning sickness had finally kicked in—just weeks after that friggin' test came back positive—it had hit me like a battering ram. Who would I go to for advice? I didn't know the first thing about....that. So even though I'd been excited—and terrified out of my mind—missing her, needing her, had dampened all of that those first few days.
Until I'd gone to the doctor and known for sure that my life would be changed forever.
Then again, I guess it'd only been a matter of time. I'd swear on my life that Dex had been working toward this goal from the moment...well, knowing that smug dick, probably from the moment he'd decided to tell his two best friends to—in his words—"Go fuck themselves."
"You okay, babe?" Two hands landed on my shoulders, kneading them as I stood hunched over the overgrown weeds.
I probably had puke on the edges of my mouth. Great.
Nodding, I straightened up, pulling one of the many paper towels I'd stuffed into my back pocket to wipe at my mouth. "I'm okay."
Dex's chuckle filled my ears as he wrapped his arms around my chest from behind, his chin resting on the top of my head. "Just okay?"
He was taunting me, I knew it.
I hadn't told him the news yet, but in that same preternatural way he was always aware of what I was feeling or thinking, he could smell my lies a mile away. He was just giving me time to come to him.
To tell him I'd be baking his bun for the next seven and a half months.
I'd just wanted the insanity of these last two weeks to be over. My semester's finals had ended three days before, Dex had been busier than ever with the Widows opening up a new bar, and then there'd been this trip. The trip that had originally been planned for Sonny, Will, and I.
Yet, not so surprisingly, Will had flaked out two weeks before, and Dex had suddenly 'decided' he wanted to come along. It just so happened that I'd taken the pregnancy test the day before he bought his plane ticket.
Right.
This man never did anything without a reason. And this reason had him resembling a mama bear. A really aggressive, possessive mama bear. Which said something because Dex was normally that way. I couldn't even sit around Mayhem without him or Sonny within ten feet.
I leaned my head back against his che
st and laughed. "Yeah, just okay."
He made a humming noise deep in his throat. "Ritz," he drawled in that low voice that reached the darkest parts of my organs. "You're killin' me, honey."
Oh boy.
Did I want to officially break the news on the side of the road with chunks of puke possibly still on my face? Nah. So I went with the truth. "I have it all planned out in my head. I already ordered the cutest little toy motorcycle to tell you, so don't ruin it."
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