by J. R. Ward
V shot the female an I-told-you-so. And then he gathered by her curse and disappearance that she bought into his unassailable logic.
Getting the catheter out was a bitch. His cock hadn't been used much lately and it really didn't appreciate the disrespect when he finally did touch it again.
Shifting off the hospital bed and onto his feet, he held his hospital gown together in the back and walked out.
All of the Bastards were in the corridor, and all of them were injured. He didn't see any of his brothers, but he could catch the lingering scents of their blood, and inferred that they had gone up to the mansion to recover.
Or at least the ones who were not in hospital beds had.
Jane was nowhere to be found.
As he started walking, he nodded to the Bastards, shaking hands that were offered up and pounding knuckles, the battle they had all shared in aligning them more than any formal oaths or bended-knee shit ever could.
Funny, he marveled, this was how you made steel. You took iron, applied tremendous heat, and cleared away all the impurities. What was left was pure, undiluted strength.
Like when two groups of fighters eliminated needless conflict and banded together to form a unit against their enemy that was capable of far more than they could ever have accomplished separately.
Continuing on, he thought he heard Jane's voice behind him. And he did. She was talking to Manny, trading information.
V thought for a moment she would notice that he was walking away and come after him. But she didn't.
And again, he thought as he limped to the office and headed for the tunnel alone, he was not surprised.
SIXTY-SEVEN
"Wake up, my love."
As a deep voice entered her ear, Layla's eyes popped open and she sat up in a chair--which brought her face to face with Xcor.
"You're alive!" she exclaimed. Except then she looked at all the wires and the IV tubing that had been disconnected and was hanging loose from him. "What the hell are you doing out of bed--"
"Shh," he said. "Come on."
"What?"
"We're leaving."
"Wha--"
He nodded and stood up straight. He was covered with bandages, still in a hospital gown, and pale as a ghost, but the look in his eye told her that he wasn't going to listen to anything she had to say.
They were, in fact, leaving.
"Where are we going?" she asked as she got to her feet.
"To the little ranch house. There's a car waiting for us."
"But shouldn't you stay here where there are doctors--"
"I just want to be alone with you. You're all I need."
As he stared down at her, a feeling of love spread throughout her body. "I can't believe you're alive."
"It's because of you. On so many levels."
A brief flashback of her and Tohr giving him CPR robbed her of speech. But it didn't take away her ability to hitch herself up under her male and help him to the door.
The corridor was empty, nothing but a doggen with a mop and a bucket getting rid of bloodstains to attest to the injured.
"Where did your soldiers go?" she asked as they started down for the parking lot. "How long was I asleep?"
"Hours, my love. And all were treated and released. Dawn is about thirty minutes away."
"Are they going to be okay?"
"Yes. All of them, and all the Brothers, too. The medical staff here are amazing."
"Oh, thank La--" She stopped herself. "Thank goodness. Fate. Everything."
It was then that she noticed a figure standing way down the hall by the exit, and as they closed in, she realized it was Tohr.
When they finally stopped in front of the Brother, the two males just stared at each other. And that was when the similarities between them became truly evident to her. Same height, same build, same jaw...and those eyes.
"Thank you for saving my life in that alley," Tohr said roughly.
"And thank you for saving mine on that operating table," Xcor intoned.
The two smiled a little, and then grew serious.
It was then that a chill went through her--one that intensified as Xcor unhitched his arm and leaned into the Brother.
As the males embraced, she realized with dread...this was it. This was going to be her and Xcor's last day together. That was why he was so determined to leave the clinic, and that was why Tohr was helping them.
Also why the Brother looked at her with such compassion when the two males stepped back from each other.
Tohr opened the exit wide and waited off to the side.
No one said anything as she and Xcor proceeded to Fritz's Mercedes. Even the butler was grave as he got out and came around to open their door.
Layla ducked down and slid across the seat, and then Xcor followed suit and Fritz shut them in.
Xcor put the blackout window next to him down and lifted his dagger hand as the car was put in drive--and Tohr returned the gesture as they headed off, the good-bye as permanent as the ink in one of the Sacred Scribes's volumes up in the Sanctuary.
It doesn't have to be this way, she yelled in her head. We can make this work. Somehow, we can...
But she knew she was fighting a battle that had been lost nights ago when Xcor had given his oath to Wrath and the agreement for the return to the Old Country had been set.
Looking down at her hands, because she didn't dare meet him in the face, she whispered, "I heard you were so brave."
"Not really."
"That's what Tohr said."
"He is being generous. But I will tell you, my males fought with great honor, and without them, the Brotherhood would have been lost. Of that I am well sure."
She nodded and found herself biting her lip.
"My love," he whispered, "do not hide your eyes from me."
"If I look at you I will break down."
"Then allow me to be strong for you when you feel that you are not. Come here."
In spite of his injuries, he pulled her into his lap and wrapped his arms around her. And then he was kissing her collarbone. And her throat...and her lips.
That now-familiar heat rose again, and when he eased her up and over his hips, she split her thighs to straddle him and was glad the partition was up for their privacy.
Shifting around awkwardly, she took one side of her leggings down and moved her panties out of the way as he pulled up the hem of his hospital gown.
"I'll be careful," she said as he grimaced from pain.
"I won't feel anything but you."
Xcor stood his erection with his hand and she slowly slid herself onto it.
"My love," he breathed as his head fell back and his eyes closed. "Oh, you make me whole."
With aching gentleness, his hands slipped under her shirt and cupped her breasts, and she eased herself into a rhythm on him, wrapping her arms around the headrest, putting her lips to his.
As the stop and the start of the car going through the gating system commenced, a sweet, sad orgasm rolled through her body...and took her heart along with it.
It felt as though the end of them had come just at their beginning.
SIXTY-EIGHT
The following evening, as Layla walked up from the ranch's basement, she felt like she aged a hundred years with each step of the ascent.
Xcor was already at the stove, cooking eggs, bacon, and again, running another entire loaf of bread through the toaster.
He looked across at her. And the way his eyes went over her still-wet hair and the sweatshirt she'd put on and the jeans she'd found in the dresser, she knew he was memorizing every detail about her.
"I wish I were wearing a ball gown," she said hoarsely.
"Why?" he said. "You look incredible right now."
She lifted the hem of the sweatshirt and read the letters on it. SUNY CALDWELL. "A bit of a mess, really."
Xcor slowly shook his head. "I don't see your clothes, I never do, and a fancy dress wouldn't change that. I don't see wet
hair, I feel the strands between my fingers. I don't see pale cheeks, I am tasting your lips in my mind. You offer me all my senses at once, my female. You are so much more than any one thing about you."
She blinked away her tears and went to the cupboard. Trying not to lose it, she said, "Will we need plates and forks and also knives?"
It turned out they required none of any of that.
After he was done preparing the food, they brought it over to the table...but it just sat untouched, going cold and scentless. And she knew when they were really starting to run out of time when he began to continuously check the clock.
Then it was over.
"I have to go," he said roughly.
As their eyes met, he reached across the table and took her hand. His stare was luminous, for he was so emotional as well, his navy blue eyes glowing with both sorrow and love.
"I want you to remember something," he whispered.
Layla sniffled and tried to be as strong as he was. "What?"
In the Old Language, he said, "Wherever I go, you shall ne'er be far from me. Wherever I sleep, you shall be beside me. What I eat, I shall share with you, and when I dream, we shall be together once again. My love, you are not gone from me ever, and I shall not take another. Till the very night I die."
It was on the tip of her tongue to tell him that that was impossible.
But as if he knew what she was thinking--as usual--he just shook his head. "How could I be with anyone but you?"
She got to her feet in a shaky, disorganized rise, and when she came to him, he widened his knees so she could stand between them.
As she bent down to kiss him for the last time, her tears fell on his cheeks. "I love..."
She couldn't get out the last word. Her throat had closed up.
Xcor's hands shifted up her body until he cupped her face. "It was all worth it."
"What?" she choked out.
"All that came before this one moment where I am loved by you. Even though we must part, I can say that what I feel for you made it all worth it."
And then, with one final kiss...he was gone.
SIXTY-NINE
An hour later, Layla went to the Brotherhood mansion. She felt too light on her feet, as if the inside of her had been emptied of her vital organs--and she supposed that was true. There wasn't much to her anymore.
Funny to have found herself and lost herself in such a short period of time.
And yet, as she mounted the mansion's stone steps and approached the great door into the vestibule, she knew that that was just the mourning talking.
Or at least, she hoped it was.
If this was what every night for the rest of her life was going to be like? She was in a world of hurt. Literally.
Opening things up, she put her face in the monitor and waited for someone to answer the summons. Technically, it was Qhuinn's night to take the kids, but he was still in a hospital bed, so she'd been told by Beth at around five in the afternoon that she could have them if she wanted them.
As if she would say no.
According to what she'd been told, Rhamp and Lyric had been brought back from the Sanctuary by Cormia a couple of hours ago, so they were upstairs--the hope had been, of course, that Qhuinn would be further along in his recovery. But apparently not.
She hadn't asked what his injuries were. It was not really her business, and that made her sad. But what could you do.
"Oh, good evening, Chosen."
As Fritz's cheery voice greeted her, she realized she hadn't even noticed that he'd opened the door. "Hello, Fritz. How fare thee?"
"Very well. I am so happy all are well."
"Yes," she said numbly. "Myself, also."
"Is there aught that I may do for you?"
Well, you could turn around whatever airplane the love of my life is on right now and bring him back to me. Make him stay here with me. Have him--
She cleared her throat. "No, thank you. I'll just go up and get the young."
The butler bowed low and then Layla walked slowly toward the grand staircase. As she lifted her foot for the first step, she recalled her trip up from the basement at that charming little house--and worried whether this was her new lot in life.
Tearing up all over herself every time she took to a set of stairs.
And yet she managed to keep going.
That was, after all, what you had to do, even though your heart was breaking. Dearest fates, she had no idea what she was going to do with herself on the nights she didn't have Lyric and Rhamp, but she was going to have to find something. Left to her current devices, she was liable to get swamped by her sadness at Xcor's--
She stopped halfway up as a male came to the head of the stairs.
Putting her palms forward defensively, she said to Blay, "I'm allowed to take them. Beth told me so. I'm not here without permission."
It felt like forever since she had seen the male, and she hated the necessary distance between them. But how else were they going to proceed? And oh, God, what if he didn't give her the young? What if Qhuinn had heard she was getting an extra night and had mandated from his hospital bed that she not get the time?
On tonight, of all nights, she needed a visceral reminder of what she was going on for--
Before Blay could say anything, the chimes went off with someone else who had arrived at the mansion's entrance. But Layla didn't pay any attention to that. Why should she? She didn't live here anymore--
Layla wheeled around.
And blinked at the impossible.
Qhuinn was coming in from the vestibule...with Xcor by his side.
Layla blinked again and rubbed her eyes, her brain incapable of comprehending what she was looking at. Surely Qhuinn, of all people, couldn't...wouldn't...
Wait, why wasn't her male on an airplane?
Xcor lifted his stare to her and took a step forward...and then another. He didn't focus on anything but her, all of the grandeur and the color of the foyer seeming to mean nothing to him.
Screw the whys and hows, Layla thought as she exploded into action, tearing down toward him, figuring if this was a figment of her imagination, she might as well find out right now.
And if she landed flat on her face on the mosaic floor?
She wouldn't be in any more pain than she already was.
"My love," Xcor said as he caught all of her weight and held her from the ground.
As she started to cry in total confusion, and some sort of tentative joy, she looked over his shoulder.
Qhuinn was staring at the pair of them. And then he shifted his blue and green gaze up to where Blay was standing at the head of the stairwell--and started to smile.
Layla eased herself out of Xcor's hold. Approaching the father of her young, she had to clear her throat and sweep her face. "Qhuinn--"
"I'm sorry," he said to her in a rough voice. "I'm truly...sorry."
All she could do was stare at him in shock.
With another quick glance to Blay, Qhuinn took a deep breath. "Look, you did the best you could, and this has been hard on everyone. I'm sorry I reacted like I did--that was beyond wrong of me. But I just...I love our kids, and the idea they might have been in danger? It terrified me right into insanity. I know that your forgiveness can't come right away and--"
Layla jumped at him and put her arms around her youngs' sire, and as she held onto him so hard she couldn't breathe, she suspected neither could he. "I'm sorry, too, oh, God, Qhuinn, I'm so sorry..."
Messy, tearful apologies were the best kind, especially when they were accepted with open hearts on both sides.
When they finally broke apart, she fit herself under Xcor's arm and Qhuinn put his hand out to the other male.
"Like I told you in the car coming here," he said, "not that you need it or want it, but you two have my blessing. One hundred percent."
Xcor smiled and shook what was offered. "For your support, I am more honored this night than any other."
"Great. That's real g
reat." Qhuinn leaned into Layla. "Turns out he's not such a bad guy, after all. Go fig."
As she laughed, Qhuinn clapped her male on the shoulder. "So come on, time to meet the kids. And see where you'll be staying."
The world went wonky on Layla again and she looked between Qhuinn and Xcor. "Wait, what is...what are you..."
"If the two of you are going to be properly mated"--the Brother put up his forefinger--"and I will tell you that I'm an old-fashioned male so I want the mother of my children to be properly mated, he's got to live here."
At that moment, chimes went off again, and Fritz, who was blotting his eyes with a white hankie, hustled back over to the door.
The butler let in Tohr--which wasn't a surprise--and then all of the Bastards filed into the foyer as well. Every single one of them.
She looked at Xcor and Qhuinn in shock. "They're coming here, too?"
"Kind of a package deal," Qhuinn said with a grin. "Plus I heard they suck at pool, so that's a bonus. Grab your shit, boys. This is Fritz. You will learn to love him, especially when he irons your socks."
Layla was in an absolute daze as the fighters began to bring in all kinds of duffels. And then she was escorted up to the top of the staircase by two of the three most important males in her life.
Blay, the third one, smiled at her and gave her a big hug. And then it was the trio of them heading past Wrath's study toward the hall of statues.
Which made her ask, "And Wrath is okay with this?"
Qhuinn nodded as Blay answered, "More fighters is always best. And God knows we have the room. Plus Fritz will be over the moon--more to cook for, more to clean up after."
"And damn, those males are good in the field." Qhuinn glanced over at her. "Last night? It would have been a tragedy for the history books without your male."
Xcor showed no reaction to the praise. Well, unless you counted the tinge of red that hit his cheeks. "Well, the same could be said for the Brothers."
As they came up to the suite where the kids were, Qhuinn was the one who stepped forward and opened things up.
Blay went in first and then Xcor hesitated...before putting a tentative foot over the threshold. And then another. Like maybe he was scared there was a monster under the bed or something.
Layla looked at Qhuinn. And then she took his hand. "Thank you. For this."
Qhuinn bowed so low he was nearly parallel to the floor. When he straightened back up, he placed a kiss on her forehead and murmured, "And thank you, for our kids."