Tara couldn’t even begin to imagine the animal’s pain and fear when she must have seen the fire drawing closer. Could not imagine her final moments when the flames must have reached and engulfed her.
An involuntary sob rattled up from her chest and burst out of her mouth. She vowed to destroy Layla so that there was not a trace of her evilness left on this earth. Even if it meant that she, Tara, would not survive.
Tara starting digging in earnest, looking for the remains of the cupboard where she had shoved the conch shell after her last meeting with Lord Yama. It had to be there. But what if someone had found the shell and taken it? She refused to think about that right now. If she did, she knew despair would overwhelm her.
She stepped over the rubble; stray objects her only guide to the layout of her destroyed home. The stone mortar in which they ground spices was an indication that she was in the kitchen. The wooden pestle she had used to break down the door was burned and gone.
This was impossible! How was she going to find the conch in this mess when she didn’t even know where to start?
Use your heart not your head, whispered the soft voice from within. Tara retraced her steps until she reckoned she was standing in the main room. She closed her eyes and envisioned her home as it had once been; warm, cozy, and full of life. In front of her was the door that led to the kitchen. To her left were their cots. The cupboard was a couple of steps to the right. Keeping her eyes closed, she walked over to it and reached out. Her hands clutched thin air. Tara opened her eyes and starting digging through the pile of ash and debris. Her hands touched something thin and hard. She pulled it out. It was her mother’s necklace. The one she had given Tara the night she had disappeared. The mirror was shattered and shards of glass were still embedded within the triangular pendant. Tara had not wanted to throw it away and now she slipped the blackened chain around her neck. The cold metal against her skin gave her a bit of courage and she dug furiously. She had to be gone before someone came by and saw her.
Please let me find the conch, Lord Ganesh, Tara prayed. Please, I need it. I need it so very badly.
A few moments later, Tara’s hands closed over a small rock with ridged edges. She snatched it up and scraped off the soot. A pearly white surface shone through. She stood up, her back aching, her pulse racing, and wiped the conch hurriedly with the edge of her kurta until it was clean. She looked at the debris one last time, then slipped between the huts toward the edge of the forest.
At the treeline she turned to look back. A starved moon hung over the village of Morni. She gazed at the village that had once been home, knowing that she would be living on borrowed time when she next glimpsed it. Once she called Lord Yama there was no turning back. Bela’s soft brown eyes swam into her mind. She’d lost one member of the family. She couldn’t bear to lose another.
Tara raised the conch to her lips and blew into it.
— twelve —
The Underworld
This time Tara did not have long to wait. Within minutes Lord Yama was by her side.
“What is it this time, Tara?” he said, dismounting. Each time she saw him, his huge presence shocked her anew. The god of death was here in front of her because she had summoned him! The thought scared her and made her feel special, too.
She folded her hands and bowed her head. “I’m ready, Lord.”
His thick black eyebrows became a straight line. “For what?” he asked.
“The Underworld. I need help. Layla set fire to our hut yesterday. We almost died! She will not rest till she has killed my entire family. I MUST find a way to stop her.”
Lord Yama stared at her for a long moment. “Do you remember everything I said? Once you return from the Underworld, you’ll have twenty-four hours before you must return forever. Believe me, Tara, revenge is not so sweet when you finally taste it. Mercy and forgiveness are a lot better. Are you absolutely sure there is no other way to stop Layla?”
Tara was silent for a moment. There was nothing she wanted more than to go back home to her mother, to Suraj, and wait for their father and grandfather to arrive. It struck her then; she had no home! It was destroyed. There was a lot Layla could do before her father returned and she didn’t want to wait around to find out.
“I’ve made up my mind, Lord. The only other option is to take her life and I … I cannot do that … she’s the same age as Suraj!”
Yama knelt so that his face was level with Tara’s. “My dear Tara. Once again your courage and selflessness touch me deeply. God has given you an abundance of courage and a huge dollop of recklessness. It will be a pity that Morni will lose you while you are so young. Are you sure you don’t want to live to be a grandmother? You have so much in store for you.”
Tara gazed into Lord Yama’s eyes. Though a fierce red, they still held gentleness. She knew he meant every word he had said.
“What about the rest of my family? Do we all have long lives ahead of us?”
Lord Yama dropped his gaze and Tara’s heart lurched.
“Someone from my family will die young. That’s it, isn’t it?” Of course he would know. “Is it Suraj? My mother? My father? WHO?”
“Tara, I am not allowed to tell you. You know better than to ask me that question.” Lord Yama got to his feet, his eyes flashing. “Don’t overstep your limits.”
“How am I to live, knowing that I could have prevented the death of someone I love? If I get rid of Layla then my family will be safe.”
“Ahhh, Tara. When it is time to meet me, no one can escape it, no matter what they do. Do you think Layla is the only danger to your family? There are so many things that can happen. You cannot stop living your life, or prevent them from living theirs, for fear of death. Instead, enjoy each day to the fullest so that when it’s your time to go, you’ll have happy memories to keep you company.”
“Easy for you to say,” said Tara. “You have no family. How would you know what it is like to lose someone?”
Yama’s expression softened. “Tara, I have seen much loss. A mother losing a child, a child losing both her parents, a wife losing a husband. I know loss so well — it runs like poison in my blood. But enough talk. Time is passing and we must go before day breaks.”
Tara’s pulse raced. “How … how do we go to the Underworld? Will you have to kill me …?”
Lord Yama smiled. “No, child, I’m not going to kill you. Get onto the bull and we will ride to the Underworld. There you will have one day to seek advice from whomever you wish. But I must warn you, it’s a barren, lonely place inhabited by souls who have sinned or are awaiting judgment before they are sent to another place.”
“And then?”
“Then you come back here. You take care of Layla and meet me at this same spot twenty-four hours later. Since you haven’t really died you will live the rest of your life there until your soul is reborn. That could be a very long time. Are you absolutely certain you are ready, Tara? Time passes very slowly when you are alone.”
Tara struggled to remain strong. Behind her lay the safety of the village and her life. Ahead lay the Underworld and two days to live. But it would also mean the safety of her family. She couldn’t bear it if one more person in her family was harmed because she’d done nothing to stop Layla.
“I’ve decided,” said Tara. “I’m coming with you.”
“Then let’s go.” Yama swung her up on the bull’s neck and jumped on behind her. He clicked his tongue and the bull started trotting.
Tara clung to its hump hoping she wouldn’t slide off. She craned her neck for a last glimpse of Morni, but Yama’s large body blocked her view. Maybe it was for the best. Now was the time to look ahead, not back, or she’d lose her nerve. And yet, Tara could not stop the fear blossoming within her as the bull started to gallop.
Around her the forest grew danker and darker. Barely any light reached the floor. Branches scratched her cheek and thorny bushes scraped against her legs as the bull crashed through the undergrowth, stopping fo
r nothing. The odour of decaying foliage, rotten meat, and wet earth filled her nose. Tara had never been this far into the forest and she struggled to still the panic flooding her.
Soon the ground started to slope downward. Tara remembered her walk through the forest to the underground cave with Zarku. The Underworld would be way below that. She clutched the bull’s neck, trying to fight the claustrophobic feeling that had always plagued her. She was almost ready to leap off and run back the way they had come.
“Is-is it very far, Lord?”
“Yes. The less you say the better. These parts are best traversed in silence.”
The bull raced along the black carpet of earth, his thundering footfalls muffled by dead leaves. Trees raced past in an unending, shadowy blur. It was like being in a long, black tunnel with no end. Unseen arms reached out to scratch her, grab her, blind her. It was too late to go back. Even if Lord Yama let her get off now, she had no hope of finding her way back home.
They were moving so fast, they had left the heat behind. The wind blowing on her face was cool and getting colder by the minute. Her teeth started chattering and she let go off the bull’s hump momentarily so she could wrap her thin dupatta around her tightly. Large arms engulfed her and immediately she felt warmer. The god of death was warm-blooded! Somehow she had expected him to be as cold as … death.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
“It’s going to be a lot worse when we get there,” he said softly. “Rest awhile, sleep if you can. You will need all your strength.”
Tara must have dozed in the warm circle of the Lord’s arms because when she awoke, she realized two things at once: they had stopped moving and it was freezing.
Yama slid off the bull. Numbing cold pierced Tara’s exposed skin, as if a hundred needles were jabbing her all at once, especially into the cuts and burns from the fire. She gasped and jumped off, too, wrapping the dupatta even tighter, wishing she’d had the sense to carry a shawl.
Tara looked around her. So this was the Underworld and it was not at all what she’d imagined or heard about from Morni’s storyteller, Sushila Mausi.
Instead of the heat Mausi had described, it was bitterly cold. There were no fires and no people. Just emptiness as far as she could see.
The dark night was a vast blue-black tarp stretched tight above her. And then there was the smell. Tara had never inhaled something as foul in her life. It made her throat ache and her eyes water. Lord Yama was watching her closely.
“Where is everyone …” Tara started to say. A frigid wind howled past, snatching her words and scattering them in the air. A burning smell lingered in its wake. Tara swallowed. “WHERE …” she started to say, louder this time, and once again the wind whipped around her, freezing her face, her lips so that she could barely move them. She stared at Yama, panic fluttering in her chest.
He knelt and beckoned to her. “The only way you can speak in this place is to whisper in someone’s ear. Shouting will not work. The wind won’t allow it.” Yama spoke directly in her ear and she felt his warm breath on her cheek. An icy tremor shook her.
The darkness remained unchanged. No moon or stars broke the monotony of the endless sky. A barren landscape stretched out as far as she could see with a few scraggly trees and large boulders dotting the horizon. Dead leaves blew around in the icy gusts of wind. Everything else was still.
“So how do I start looking for Zara and Kali?” she said. “They could be anywhere!” The wind howled between them, allowing not a single word to be heard.
Lord Yama shook his head and pointed to his ear.
“Help me, Lord,” said Tara, leaning close now. “If I can’t even call out to them, how will I find them? The Underworld is so huge. Twenty-four days won’t be enough, let alone twenty-four hours!”
“I’ve already broken a rule by bringing you here, Tara. I cannot help you anymore. All I can say is that you must bring them to you. If you think hard and get it right, they will come to you.”
“How?” said Tara. She wanted to scream, but had to content herself with a whisper. “I hate this place!”
“Goodbye, Tara. I will return at the same time tomorrow to take you back to Morni. Learn to accept this place and work with its rules. You’ll be spending the rest of your life here.”
Tara’s frozen heart nearly stopped beating as she looked around her. This was where she was to spend the rest of her life? This desolate place where she couldn’t even speak normally? What if she found no one and wandered around forever, all alone? Panic grabbed her by the throat and squeezed so hard that she could barely breathe. What had she gotten herself into?
Yama’s expression was unfathomable. Was it sadness, pity, or annoyance she saw? She clutched at her dupatta and bit her lip hard so she wouldn’t start sobbing in front of him. He’d always said she was brave, but at this moment she wanted to fling herself on the bull and beg him to take her back home.
His massive hand squeezed her shoulder. “Remember, you have something very precious the souls here crave. Bring them to you.”
Tara was too cold and numb to reply. She watched him gallop away. Within moments he faded into the barren land that seemed to hover between dusk and night.
The tears fell then and froze on her cheeks. “HELP!” she screamed. “IS ANYONE HERE?”
The wind swept out of nowhere and devoured her words. The silence remained undisturbed and unnaturally loud; an incessant buzzing in her ear that was starting to drive her mad. She ached to hear the sounds of the living, the murmur of voices, the shriek of kids, and the tinkling of bells as animals moved in the fields, tilling the earth. Even Kali’s voice would be welcome right now.
How was she to bring the dead to her when she could not even call out? Tara wrapped her arms around her, took a deep breath, and started walking toward a huge shadow looming in the distance. After ten minutes of fast walking, the hill seemed almost the same distance away as when she had begun. Her legs ached, and the sweat cooled as quickly as it formed, chilling her to the bone. Her foot throbbed painfully.
The monotony and silence of her surroundings shook her to the very core. Tara wanted to scream, but knew it was of no use. She collapsed on the ground, buried her hands in her face and sobbed. Had Lord Yama tricked her? Led her to this godforsaken land and left her to die. What if he never came back? What if he did come back and she had still not accomplished her mission?
Slow down, calm down, Tara told herself. She was the one who had summoned Lord Yama. He had tried very hard to stop her, dissuade her, but she had insisted. She had to figure out what to do, or this trip would have been futile. If only she could unfreeze her brain, she’d be able to think. She needed something warm — a fire!
Why hadn’t she thought of this before? If she could light a fire it would be seen for miles around and everyone would flock to her. That was it! That was what Lord Yama had meant.
Tara jumped to her feet, trying to shrug off the weight of loneliness that was trying to crush her. She began searching for wood, crawling on the ground on all fours. The coldness of the earth seeped into her hands and legs, making them almost useless. A few dead branches littered the ground and she gathered them eagerly as if they were diamonds. Just the thought of a fire warmed her. Even if no one came, she’d still have the fire to keep her company until Yama came back for her. And then what? the voice asked. You have one day of respite and then you’re back again. She pushed the thought out of her mind, the effort similar to pushing a boulder uphill. If she allowed herself to think about it, she would give up before she’d begun. One hour at a time. That was all she would think of.
Tara gathered as many branches as she could and piled them up. But how to start the fire? There was nothing around but rocks and trees.
Rocks! She’d use them as flints. Her bones ached from kneeling on the frozen earth and her fingertips were blue with cold. She stuck them into her armpits as she scoured the ground.
If only she had some matches. They reminded h
er of Morni and her family. Every fibre of her being longed to be back there. Once again, she banished the thought from her mind. Focus on the rocks. Build a fire and then it will be all right.
She talked to herself as she continued searching. There’s so much I’ve done already and this is just one more task I must complete. I can do this, I can. I must.
At the base of a gigantic boulder she found a couple of jagged rocks. She examined them. Would they work? There was only one way to find out.
Tara hurried back to the pile of sticks, knelt as close to the wood as she could, and struck the rocks against one another with frozen fingers. One of the rocks slipped out of her hands and fell to the ground with a thud.
Her fingers were so numb she couldn’t feel them anymore. She blew on them, but it was no use. The malevolent wind had picked up and blew dead leaves and debris into her face. Tara picked up the rocks and struck them again. Nothing. Not even a ghost of a spark.
Ten minutes later she was no closer to lighting the fire than when she had started. The only change was that her hands were bruised and aching, turning bluer as each minute ticked past.
“I CAN’T DO THIS!” she screamed. “LORD YAMA, PLEASE COME BACK.”
The words echoed within her head. The still air around her remained undisturbed. The silence settled more heavily, more comfortably, on her shoulders.
Tara took a deep breath, fighting hard to hold back the tears and deep panic. I will not give up. I cannot give up. I must not give up.
Once again, she picked up the rocks and struck them against one another with all of her strength. One of them whipped by the other and pierced the soft skin on the mound of her palm. She cried out in agony, but there was no one to hear her.
Tara dropped the rocks and stared at the blood welling out of the deep cut
The Deadly Conch Page 11