“Beta werewolves. I don’t get it.”
“Alpha s are rarer than beta wolves,” Bodil says waving a hand between us. “Beta wolves make up the most of the werewolf population. “It’s like the difference between a sports fan who watches their team from the sofa and a professional olympic athlete when it comes to ranking in hierarchy, pack status and abilities.”
My eyes drift back to the empty doorway and I feel an ache in my chest. “So is like segregation or something, between alphas and betas like socially or something.” I ask her.
Bodil shakes her head. “Not in our pack, not the Breukelen. But some other packs see it very much that way. It’s just we’re really conscious of not uh, flaunting our alpha abilities around Bg or anything.”
4
Tonight is the night, the first full moon since the attack and I’m kind of anxious. Everyone’s been telling me for the past month that I’m a lycan and trying to fill me up with knowledge on how the werewolf world works with and without lycans in it. But nobody is really told me about the whole, shape shifting when you become the wolf thing. How it works, what to do, what to expect. None of it. Seems like that’s the most important thing anyone could tell me about and it’s the one thing they’re not telling me about.
“Hey, you right for tonight?” I pull back from walking around the corner into the hallway where Bodil is talking to Bg and watch from a distance.
I haven’t spent much time with Bg. When I have, there’s always others around. It’s like being on a group date only not a date. I never really get the chance to just sit and chat with her, find out anything about her. Her siblings are super protective of her. Like overly, overly protective of her and yet, I see a subtle strength in her and wonder why no one else sees what I do in her.
I put it down to their werewolf arrogance. They are so self-assured it’s practically arrogance. It’s hard to ignore and be okay with and not call them out on it. I mean, yeah, so apparently I’m a lycan wolf, but I came from the real world before this. I can recognise arrogance and see it for what it is. Hooper and I, we never came from a rich family, and when you’re not in that scene to begin with, then you re eyes look around you more. You don’t get limited in your vision or your thinking.
Bg mumbles something back at Bodil and wanders off. Again, she looks sad. I’ve only seen her sad a handful of times and I know that I fucking hate it. And that I want to understand it and make her feel better. But I literally can’t get near her, especially today. I’ve tried a few times to make some bullshit excuse to get near her and today of all days, the fourth night of the lunar week, it’s like people deliberately keep the lycan away from the werewolf.
Something’s going on but I can’t figure it out. Something to do with lunar week or the full moon and Bg. Or maybe it’s just a lycan, not allowed thing, that wouldn’t be new. From what I’ve experienced so far with these Breukelen werewolves, there is plenty a lycan isn’t allowed to do. Breaking down attitudes in this werewolf pack and community is like trying to push back a tidal wave with your bare hands.
I wait till Bg has gone and walk into the hallway towards Bodil. With lunar week, my lust for Bg has ramped right up. So as much as I am desperate to get to her, well the lycan part of me is, the rational part of me, the Booker Parish part of me that still exists, knows to pull that lycan part back. It’s just animal instincts, hormonal wants. A desperate desire to consummate and fornicate with another wolf. Still, makes me wonder why I’m not trying to hit on Bodil. I still can’t make sense of it.
“Hey, so uh, grab your stuff.” She says to me.
“Why?”
“Because we’re taking you to the woods for your first shape shift.” Bodil replies matter-of-factually.
“What do you mean?”
“Relax. Your first time shifting is going to be odd. No doubt about it. It was for me, for Aksel, even though it went smoothly. The human has to submit to the wolf. Not everyone likes to submit. Come on, we’ll talk on the way.” Bodil says walking into my bedroom and looking around for my backpack.
“So where we going?”
“Somewhere local we use for shifting outdoors even though we’re not permitted to.”
“What about Bg and Markus and Joss, what was it like for them?”
Bodil straightens up and looks back at me. “Oh, we might not have covered this. Werewolves don’t actually shift until they hit puberty and then within the first three years of puberty they generally uh, experience the shift for the first time. After that, they can shape shift all the time. So you know, Joss is too young, he hasn’t t gone through the shift yet.”
“And uh, Markus and Bg?”
Bodil stiffens a bit and I wonder why. “Uh, yeah, they’ve both shifted.” She turns around quickly and starts grabbing a spare set of clothes and shoving them into my back pack.
“Oh yeah, when did they shift?” I ask going for casual.
“Markus was year before last.” Bodil replies, holding up a t-shirt for me. “Black or grey?” She asks me.
“What about Bg?” I ask her, hoping my desperation to know anything about the beta werewolf doesn’t show since I’ve been denied access to her all day.
“I think, grey suits you. You wear too much black.” Bodil replies and rolls up the t-shirt and puts in the pack. “We’ll also take some food and,” I can tell she’s avoiding my question but I can’t figure out why and I don’t want to seem obvious. I need to have this little bit of sister to myself. Whilst my brain knows this, I can’t stop my mouth.
“And what about Bg’s first shape shift?” I ask and Bodil goes absolutely still and drops my backpack. She turns around on her heel and her face is pure rage. She storms past me and over to the bedroom door, slamming it closed, before getting back up in my personal space, putting her face right up into mine.
“Will you stop it with the Bg shape shift questions? That topic is off limits. And you ask me one more time and I will show you what an Alpha I am. Do you fucking understand, lycan?” She yells into my face. Her teeth are extending and sharpening and I watch as they become something like fangs. Jesus they look like she could just rip my throat out if she wanted to.
I must have shown something on my face, because Bodil continues on saying “Stay the fuck away from my sister and you’ll get through tonight just fine, if you do what I say.”
I put up my hands to show her I’m backing down. “Okay, okay.” I have no idea why she’s gone so fucking feral on me. I don’t get what I said or did. She never drops her eyes off mine and I step back away from her.
5
Hooper’s become fairly withdrawn and distant from me since the attack. More so when he saw that I had chosen to accept being taken under the wolves’ hospitality in learning more about this, while the Breukelen alpha decides what to do with us. Apparently nothing is written in stone though.
Hooper has quite literally distanced himself from us, and Brooklyn. He’s found himself accommodation in the Bronx and said he’s happy to stay there. He said I was pussy-whipped and obsessed with fucking the werewolf females, and that since he’s gay, he has no fucking interest in that, so I, along with the Breukelen werewolves, could go fuck myself.
I’ve never really been to the woods at night before. Never really had a need to go or a want. But we’re here now to find out if I really am a lycan through and through. Bodil assures me that’s just a formality. If I wasn’t a lycan and the lycanthropy wasn’t running through my blood stream now, then I wouldn’t have the whole heightened senses things.
I walk through the woods with another werewolf I don’t really know that well, Nick Olsen. He’s tall and wiry and has serious bed head hair. Bodil and Aksel are in front of us, along with Markus and behind us, are more teenage werewolves I’ve slowly been introduced to. Boden is one of them and some girls, whose names I don’t remember.
“Hey man, can I ask you a question?”
“Isn’t that in itself a question?” Nick replies back at me.
“Yeah I guess.” I reply and fall silent.
Nick laughs and hits my shoulder with what he probably thinks is a light punch. “I’m just fucking with you man, go ahead, ask. We are all for the lycan learning here.” Nick says and I adjust my backpack on my shoulder.
“I just wondered why Bodil reacted the way she did to something I asked about shape shifting today.” I glance over at Nick and he’s frowning.
“That does not sound like Bo. Although she is a bit uptight sometimes. What did you want know?” Nick asks and that driving need to have something of Bg just makes the words spew out my mouth faster than I can think.
“When did Bg, her sister first shape shift?” Before I can gauge his reaction his hands are on me and I’m being thrown to the ground. My head snaps back and hits the earth hard and Nick is on me. There are voices asking what has happened.
“Stay the fuck away from Bg Sommers lycan or I will rip your god damn balls off.” Nick growls at me. In the darkness I can see his eyes glow. They’ve changed to werewolf’s eyes.
“I didn’t mean anything by it. I just don’t understand.” I pant out at him as he lays his knee heavily into my chest and I feel his weight bear down on me painfully.
“What the fuck?” Aksel’s voice is becoming clearer.
“They’re just talking. Mano on Mano.” One of the girls pipes up.
“Or Nick is making his move early on this one.” Boden adds and there is laughter. The sound of Aksel clomping through the undergrowth is becoming more prominent and Nick knows he does not have any time to do anything before Aksel reaches me. He leans down to my ear and says.
“She was raped by a pack of lycans on her first shift. Think about doing the same and me and my pack will fuck you so bad that you just might not survive this full moon.” He pushes me back down in the dirt and gets up as Aksel finally appears.
There are three alpha s in this little lunar night foray. Aksel, Bodil and Nick. Plus a number of other wolves, loyal to the pack. They barely accept me, and only because Bodil is making it very clear she has befriended me.
“Sorry, I tripped and dragged Nick down with me. He thought I wanted to kiss him.” I stare back up at Aksel pushing up again, as Nicks words sink deep within me. It’s not the threat by him that bothers me. It’s what he said about Bg, I can feel my anger surfacing just thinking about what he said.
“Jesus, Olsen, keep it in your pants for one night will ya.” Aksel mutters and leaves me dusting myself off from my fall.
6
“The trick to shape shifting,” Bodil says, unbuttoning her jeans and sliding them down her legs. “Is just to let everything go and feel nothing but the moon in your blood stream.”
I look at her illuminated in the moonlight and wonder why I’m not hardening at the sight of her stripping. She has a great body. Full breasts and her body is slim and curvy and perfectly portioned. All of them actually have great bodies, it’s not exactly an ugly crowd I’ve fallen into. And everybody is dropping their gear.
I figure I should do the same and so I undo my pants too. I pull my t-shirt up over my head and stand there in my jocks, watching the group around me as they ditch all clothing, all underwear, without hesitation, or second thought. “I have no idea how to do that. The moon thing.” I say slipping my jocks down my legs and off.
Bodil’s eyes drop and she glances at my cock and smirks back up at me. I feel compelled to put my hand in front of it. I’m not used to group nudity. Or a female being quite that confidently bold around naked males. It’s not hard because she’s not what it’s attracted to. And with just that thought, my cock shows me how much of a mind of its own it has and starts to harden as Bg enters my brain again.
The werewolf I am attracted to, the werewolf I have been denied being around all fucking week! Jesus, now’s not the time to get hard I’m pretty sure. I try to will my cock to calm down and keep it hidden under my hands, but it’s not working. The lycan in me remembers Bg in great detail.
As I look around at the group of teenage werewolves, I see that some of the guys are jerking themselves off, without shame, without hiding it from the females of the group. “It helps.” Boden says over at me as he pulls on his cock and looks at Bodil who seems to share some sort of look of intimacy with him, even though they stand apart. “With the shifting, it helps the body to go lax, as opposed to fighting it.”
“Forget the moon the first time Booker, just seriously jerk off until you come so fucking hard you see stars.” Aksel offers me. “The rest will then just happen naturally after that, guarantee it.”
I sit down on the ground, my back against a tree, knees up and wide and allow my nostrils to flare in take in the scent of wet sex in the air, some of the girls are masturbating themselves too. Nick is rubbing against Bodil, kissing her. I wonder if they’re all going to have group orgy or something and if I’ll be expected to take part in it. Never done an orgy. Then Nick glances over at me as he runs his nose along Bodil s neck and stares at me before looking away and I’m reminded of Bg.
I close my eyes and think of her, not the way Nick described her to me on the walk. That’s not my Bg. My Bg, when did I decide she was mine? My Bg is strong and gorgeous and her nipples harden when I hold her wrist. Does she like being held down? Is that why her nipples hardened that day. My cock is sliding through my hand quickly. Maybe the whole reason I’m attracted to her is because of the lycan thing that happened to her. Can werewolves retain scent on them? I would never hurt her like that. I shake the thought from my head and focus on my Bg, naked and glorious before me. Looking at me to show her love.
I think of those nipples hardening into my chest as I kissed every inch of her skin. How her scent is so sweet, that when I then licked her skin, it would make me crave her even more. How I would make love to her. How she would cling to my body, panting and moaning, her head arching back to expose the underside of her throat. My teeth scraping that soft skin, and my tongue following the marks I leave on her, licking them like prized stamps of territorial marking. Making her mine. My Bg.
I cry out and my cock spurts itself all over my hand and everywhere as I come so hard, that I have to clamp my teeth together tightly to stop from saying her name. The backs of my eyelids are white and my body keeps moving, rocking and pushing at me, throwing me to the ground as my come seems to be endless in its need to drive my orgasm to heights I’ve never known before. I let go of my cock and feel the other me, and let it know what being inside her would be like.
I’ve never been so overwhelmed before. I can taste blood and dirt and vaguely hear laughter and other voices fading from wherever I am. And my brain clings to the image of BG looking over me, soulful brown eyes staring down at me, as a heat like nothing I’ve ever felt before burns over the fibers of muscles in my legs and arms, through my backside and stomach.
“He’s shifting.” Is the last of the English language I hear as Bg begins to fade from my mind. My lycan drags me up to the night air, towards that strumming heat and I jerk collapsing and rebuilding again.
The pain is sharp but short and temporary. Lightning strikes here and there and smells sharpen around me introducing me to the third world I’ve ever known.
The world according to the lycan.
7
I survive my first full moon and it confirms what I’ve really known all along, I’m a lycan wolf now. The next day we return back to the house, looking like regular teenagers. The others seem to have accepted me more now, they seem a bit more relaxed around me. Except Nick who’s still weary and giving me suspicious looks.
I walk into the room I’ve been put up in and find Bg standing there, something in her hand.
“Hey,”
“Hey yourself.” I smile back at her, happy to see her. “What you got there?” I ask moving towards her. She doesn’t step back, she steps sideways when I go to grab the paper out of her hand and laughs.
“I was just going to leave you a note, in case I didn’t see you.” I nod my h
ead and know I’m staring at her, but I can’t stop it. “How’d you go last night?” She asks quickly.
“Yeah, good.” She raises her eyebrows and I find myself not wanting to say lycan around her. I don’t want her to think poorly of me, because I’m not a werewolf.
“Good.” She mutters.
“You?” I ask and then mentally want to kick myself in the head.
“Yeah, uh, pups don’t get hang with the big kids on lunar weeks.” She says quickly, waving her hand around. Her nervousness is totally endearing. We fall into silence and we look at each other, unable not to. I wonder how she shifted, where she was when she shifted last night, what it was like for her.
“So uh, the note,” I say trying to keep some level headedness around me. I mean, this is the wolf I’ve been desiring since I laid eyes on her and she’s in my bedroom. I’m still feeling the effects of lunar week, Bodil said that would be normal for another day or too. Even in the day time. To feel things more than normal, like want and lust and desire and everything.
“Ah, right. The Breukelen alpha would like to see you.” Bg says and I feel like I’ve been hit in the solar plexus.
“So this is it?” I say at her half smiling and feeling for something like the third time in my life, butterflies in my stomach.
“Yeah.” She replies holding my smile.
“He’s finally decided what to do with me and my brother.”
“Yeah.”
“And? Any clues?” I ask her cheekily. I don’t want this conversation to end.
“You better go see him and find out for yourself.” She smirks back at me and ducks her head before walking around me and back out the bedroom door.
“Bg,” I call out to her and she stops. Her hand on the bedroom door handle.
“Yeah?”
“I know it was you. All you, campaigning for my brother and I to be accepted into the Breukelen pack.”
Lycan Life Page 2