by Steph
And where she’d blown his fucking mind when she’d gone down on him.
The team had been on a five-game road trip, so they’d been gone most of two weeks.
They’d texted and talked a couple of times but things had felt different. She’d seemed distant. Like she was pulling away.
Fuck.
“Be there in a minute,” he shouted back and watched Novak nod before disappearing out the door.
He didn’t know what Coach wanted, but the trade deadline had passed so he didn’t figure he was going anywhere. Especially not after tonight’s game. He’d been in the zone. Focused. Prepared. He’d lived up to his nickname, Brick Wall.
He’d already taken a shower so he only needed to pull on his clothes and shove his wet hair out of his face when he walked to the office.
And froze in the doorway when he saw Mark Arrons, the team’s GM, in addition to the coach.
“Shane. Come in.” Coach motioned him forward. “Close the door.”
He followed orders without a word but his heart pounded against his ribs. “Hey. What’s up?”
When Mark started to smile, Shane began to breathe again.
“Just got off the phone with Coach Angstadt. You need to be in Philly tomorrow morning. Gragnani’s hurt. You’re backing up Stanton in tomorrow’s game. Congratulations, Shane.”
Two thoughts flashed through his head.
Holy shit was the first.
This was the call he’d been dreaming about since he’d been old enough to know what the NHL was.
The second… Fuck, I don’t want to leave my team.
Snapping out of his thoughts, he took Mark’s hand then shook Coach Scott’s.
“Thank you. Do you know how long I’ll be up?”
Coach started to grin. “Honestly, I don’t. I only know Gragnani’s injury is lower body. You could be up for one game, could be up for a few weeks. No way to know.”
Weeks? Shit. “Yes, sir.”
“You’ll probably be riding the bench the entire time but take it all in. Listen. Learn. Watch. Even if you don’t get to play, it’s a chance to show your commitment. When you come back, I expect you to be that much better. Good luck.”
“Thank you, sir.”
Coach clapped him on the shoulder. “Now go out and celebrate. You played a damn good game tonight. Just don’t be late for morning skate.”
*
Bliss knew by the look on Shane’s face. Something had changed.
She hadn’t seen him for two weeks and she tried to tell herself it hadn’t mattered.
Liar.
Swallowing hard, she sucked in a breath and forced a smile.
When he reached for her in the arena hall, she went into his arms immediately, hugging him tight before stepping away.
And if he didn’t release her right away… Well, she had to be wrong.
“You were amazing tonight. Congratulations.”
“Thanks. I felt…pretty damn good.”
And he’d felt pretty damn good pressed against her. But something was up.
“Hey,” he said. “Can we talk for a second?”
Her chest felt like someone had just stuck her in a vise and started to crank.
No, she refused to let herself get worked up over something she’d known was coming.
And this was it. She could sense it. He was going to tell her he didn’t want to see her anymore. That the team had to come first and he needed to focus on the playoffs and that he didn’t have room for her. Not now.
And she’d nod and smile and say she understood completely. Because she did. She’d known this relationship was going nowhere when they’d started. She hadn’t let herself get involved so she wouldn’t be devastated.
“Sure. Do you want to…?” She pointed to a quiet corner away from the other girlfriends.
“Yeah. That’s good.”
Putting his hand on her elbow, he drew her deeper into the hallway, until the only sound she could hear was the hum of the cooling units.
Then they stopped and she looked up.
And the smile on his face stole her breath.
“I got called up. I have to be in Philly for morning skate then I’m backing up Stanton for the game.”
Time froze for one very short second while she thought about those simple words.
I got called up.
She blinked and sucked in a breath she hoped he’d interpret as surprise. Because it was. But it was a whole lot more.
And even as her smile came naturally, she couldn’t help but feel as if she’d been kicked.
“Oh my god. Shane. That’s wonderful.”
And it was. It was amazing.
She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and hugged him tight. And when his arms came around her and clung, she knew why she felt like she was losing him.
Because this felt like goodbye.
Drawing back, she kept her smile pinned in place, though she didn’t have to force it.
She was so damn happy for him. And so miserably sorry for herself.
Which totally sucked. She’d known this affair had an expiration date. She just hadn’t expected it to be before the end of the season.
Stupid.
“So when do you leave?”
“I have to be in Philly tomorrow for the morning skate then I’ll be on the bench for the game. I won’t play unless something happens to Stanton. I probably won’t see any ice time during the game but it’s a chance for me to practice with the team, get to know the coaches a little better. I know it won’t be permanent, at least not now. I mean, I really want to be back for the next game here. As it stands now, the Colonials aren’t going to make the playoffs so I’d probably be back anyway but…”
“This is your team.” She understood. At least, she understood him. How he thought. In the short time they’d been together, she’d learned to read him remarkably well.
Hell, a danger sign should’ve been flashing over his head.
Can’t fall apart now.
That wasn’t the deal she’d made herself. It’d been fun. That’s all. They hadn’t made promises, had never spoken about what happened after the season. For all she knew, he hadn’t even considered it. Just figured they’d go their own separate ways.
He nodded. “Yeah. This is my team. I think we’re gonna go all the way to the Calder Cup this year.”
“Then you need to go celebrate with the team.”
His gaze narrowed. “I want you there.”
Her heart melted at his insistence. “Of course. Are you ready to go?”
“Yeah. I told the rest of the guys we’d meet them at the bar.”
She brightened her smile. “Then let’s go and have a good time.”
He leaned in to kiss her, taking her a little off guard and taking her breath away.
“Always do with you.”
Her heart stuttered but she refused to give in to the ache that wanted to bloom.
He’d never been hers to keep. She had to start letting him go.
Now.
*
Shane stroked inside her with that steady intoxication she was afraid she’d grown addicted to.
“Faster. Shane, please.”
“No fucking way.” If possible, he slowed even more. “You’re gonna come again.”
Considering he’d already made her come twice in the past fifteen minutes, she knew it wasn’t an idle boast.
Sometimes, all it took for him to push her over the edge was a couple of words spoken in that deep, gruff way he had when he was inside her.
Digging her fingernails into his shoulders, she scraped them down his back, eliciting a groan but no increase in his rhythm.
The man’s patience exhausted her. And his stamina… She might as well give in and admit defeat.
But not just yet.
Turning her head, she bit at his neck, a nip that made her hunger for more.
“Fuck.”
His hips pushed forward, pressing his cock deeper
inside and making her thighs tighten against his side.
Moaning, she bit him again, this time on his chin. He took the hint and bent his head to kiss her.
His mouth sealed over hers, stealing her breath as his tongue slid against hers, coaxing her to play with him.
Overwhelmed by sensation, she broke apart on his next thrust as he pressed against her clit.
As she squeezed around him, she felt his cock flex and throb deep inside her.
With a groan, he bent until their foreheads touched and stayed there for several seconds, breathing heavily.
When he finally seemed to catch his breath, he rolled to the side, taking her with him until she lay on his chest. His softening cock remained inside her, as if her body was unwilling to give up any part of him.
Spread across him, she only wanted to stay there for the rest of the night.
“I should go,” she said instead. “You need to be up early. You can’t be late tomorrow.”
He stayed silent for a few more seconds. “Stay.”
How could he ask that?
Blinking away the hot tears that popped into her eyes, she pressed a kiss to his left pec and forced a smile, even though she wasn’t sure he could see it. “I can’t. You need to get a decent night’s sleep. Tomorrow’s a big day for you.”
“It’s not like I’m gonna be playing. The only time I’ll see the ice’ll be at morning skate and warm-ups. Then I’ll be on the bench for the entire game.”
“And you know it doesn’t matter. You need to make a good impression and you won’t if you’ll be distracted by me all night.”
Now she did look up, forcing herself to smile and hoping he didn’t see the nerves behind it in the dark. Then, because she couldn’t help herself, she rubbed her nose against his then pressed her lips to his for a quick kiss.
With a sigh she didn’t have to feign, she rolled to the side and slid off the side of the bed, grabbing her underwear from the chair next to the door.
As she dressed, she felt his gaze on her.
“I should be back day after tomorrow,” he said. “Thursday. We’ve got a game Friday. I’ll leave tickets for you and Mike.”
“Sounds good.”
Even though she probably wouldn’t claim them. Something would come up. She’d make sure of it.
“Bliss.”
Shane was on his knees and leaning forward to catch her arm before she could get away.
“You’ll watch the game tomorrow night?”
Because he sounded as if he didn’t think she would, she turned, cupping his jaw in her hand and rubbing her thumb over the scruff he hadn’t shaved in days. She had to admit she liked it.
“Of course I’ll be watching. I wouldn’t miss it for anything.”
“And I’ll see you when I get back.”
She held her smile. “Yep.”
Because she couldn’t help herself, she leaned in to kiss him again.
“Good luck tomorrow, even though you don’t need it. You wouldn’t have gotten the call if they didn’t already know how good you are.”
In the dim light, she could just see the curve of his lips as she stepped away from the bed.
“Have fun, Shane. And don’t forget to breathe.”
*
Shane woke the next morning with a knot in his gut and the most incredible urge to call Bliss and tell her he wanted her to come with him to Philly.
Which was stupid. She had to work and he needed no distractions.
He ate, checked his gear twice, loaded everything into his truck then went back inside to make sure he hadn’t forgotten anything.
He knew he hadn’t but he needed to be sure.
He was at the front door, ready to head out with a second water bottle in his hand when he heard CJ.
“Hey, man. Kick some ass today.”
CJ stood in the doorway to his room, boxer shorts barely covering his junk, hair standing up all over the place on one side and flat on the other.
“Not gonna play, you know that. But thanks.”
“Yeah, I know. But still. And man, don’t take this the wrong, but I hope like hell they send you back for the weekend.”
Nodding, he held out his hand and waited for CJ to walk over and bump his knuckles.
“Did you actually set your alarm to see me before I left?”
CJ grimaced and Shane thought he might’ve actually blushed.
“Fuck you.”
“Dude. I’m touched.”
“Uh huh. Have fun. I’ll see you when you get back.”
Shane turned back to the door but before he left, CJ said, “Wait.”
“What’s up?”
“Is Bliss in your room? I mean, I don’t want her to, you know, catch a glimpse of me and throw you over.”
Fuck. “Nah, you’re safe. She went home last night. Before you stumbled in.”
CJ’s eyes narrowed but he didn’t say anything.
“All right. Safe travels, man. And don’t let shit fuck with your head.”
Shane left with a smile on his face but it vanished minutes later.
His stomach ground in on itself as nerves started to hit him but he pulled on his years of training to steady himself.
By the time he reached the team’s training facility in northeast Philly, he had himself under control.
This was what he’d been working for since he was five.
Since he’d been down for pre-season training camp, he knew where to park. After he’d checked in with the guard, he grabbed his gear from the back of the truck and headed for the locker room.
He wasn’t the first one there.
“Conrad. Nice to see you. How’s it going?”
Stanton turned away from his locker, where he’d been pulling up his compression pants, and came forward with a smile and his hand out.
Shane took it with a nod. “Not bad.”
“The Reds are having a hell of a year and so are you. Congrats.”
At six-three, Stanton was an inch shorter than Shane but the guy had almost twenty pounds on him, all of it muscle. He’d come by his nickname Tank for his methodical play.
“Thanks. The team’s come together this year. We’re looking forward to the playoffs.”
Stanton’s grin turned lopsided. “Gonna suck if you’re stuck up here riding the bench. Between you and me, Gragnani’s injury’s not gonna keep him out longer than tonight so you’ll be back. He’s being a pussy about pulling a muscle in his leg.” Stanton shook his head. “But you didn’t hear that from me. Christ, the guy’s nearly thirty-three. Guess I should cut him some slack.”
Shane nodded, smiling. “Thanks for the heads-up.”
“No problem.” Stanton turned back to his locker and began pulling on his pads. “When you get back, tell Coach Scott I said hello.”
That’s right. Stanton had been the Redtails’ top goalie before being called up to the Colonials two years ago.
“I will.”
“Good.” A voice came from the door. “You’re here early. You and me are gonna spend a little time together this morning. I caught up on your tapes last night. Got a few things to go over. Get dressed and I’ll see you on the ice.”
Shane turned to see goalie coach Gary Ellis. The five-foot-eight bulldog had produced some of the best net minders in the league. A former goalie, he had a Stanley Cup ring and a reputation for being gruff, uncompromising, and arguably one of the best ever.
Then he disappeared back into the hall.
And Shane took a deep breath. And another.
Then he started to shed his clothes so he could get ready for his first practice in the NHL.
*
“Lissy, hurry up, the game’s starting!”
“I’m coming, Mike. And my apartment’s not that big. You don’t have to yell. Besides, the game doesn’t start for another half hour.”
“Yeah, but they’re talking about the players and they might say something about Shane.”
Her heart fluttered at the
thought. She was so damn excited for him.
And so damn sorry for herself. Something she would never admit to anyone else.
As she sat next to her brother on her couch in front of the TV, listening to Mike’s almost breathless chatter about everything from how the Redtails’ uniforms used the same colors as the Colonials to the way the announcers were dressed.
“And with Gragnani out, backing up Stanton tonight will be Shane Conrad, brought up this morning from the AHL Reading Redtails.”
As Mike let out a whoop, Bliss turned up the volume to make sure they didn’t miss anything.
“Conrad’s been having a great year, but I doubt we’ll get to see him at all tonight as Stanton will be in net…”
And that was all they heard about Shane. But she couldn’t help the tears that pooled in her eyes hearing his name. She actually had to take a deep breath and hoped like hell that Mike wouldn’t look over and see her trying to brush the tears away.
Damn it. She’d broken her own damn rule.
That whole not-getting-involved thing? Hadn’t really worked, had it?
Now she had no one to blame but herself.
And what if he’s the one?
She slid a glance at Mike. What happened if she and Shane actually did try to make a relationship work? His career might take him anywhere in North America. What happened to her when he got called up? If they traded him to Winnipeg or Los Angeles or Dallas?
Did she give up her apartment, her job, her life, and follow him?
And aren’t you jumping ahead of yourself? The guy hasn’t even asked you to move in with him, much less spend the rest of your life with him.
And was that part of the problem? Is that what she expected him to do? Is it what she wanted?
Maybe she needed to figure that out for herself first.
*
“Hey, Bliss. I’ll be home tonight. I missed you. What are you doing for dinner? I’d really like to see you.”
Bliss had missed Shane’s call. She’d been with a customer and hadn’t been able to get to her phone. That customer had been there until fifteen minutes after closing and Bliss had been late for her dinner date.
Which didn’t explain why she hadn’t texted him back last night. Oh, she’d congratulated him after the game. She’d called and left him a message right after the game. When she knew he’d still be in the locker room and unable to answer his phone.