by R. J. Blain
Chapter Twelve
Quinn
Nothing made sense anymore.
While finding Bailey had turned my world upside down, I’d viewed my life as relatively normal. Well, as normal as someone with my heritage could get. I loved my family, but I’d grown up with a rather skewed perspective on life.
Having a rather untraditional number of grandparents ensured that, although I was grateful I had the traditional number of parents. I’d seen my mother’s birth certificate. It redefined complicated.
Leaving the hotel with two children wrapped around my legs and a wolf puppy who wanted to prove she loved me, too, once again turned my world upside down. I’d seen fathers with their families, but I hadn’t truly understood their expressions until trying to check out while juggling Beauty and Sylvester and a wolf puppy, all in need of tender loving care from me.
Perkins rescued me from Sunny, taking her leash. “You’ve already mastered the harried look of a man whose wife is not around to help with the kids. Well done!”
“The day you and Tiffany have a child, I will be present, and I will be smiling,” I promised.
“Tiffany’s barren.”
Well, shit. My brows rose at that. “That’s not what I expected to hear today.”
“I think it’s part of why she became a mad scientist. She couldn’t become a mother, so she went for the next best thing.”
I stared at him, and when he didn’t read my mind and figure out he was talking to someone with a higher than normal percentage of demonic genes, I asked, “You realize I’m part incubus, right?”
Perkins blinked. “Well, yes.”
“My grandfather? Also an incubus.”
“And?”
“Merry Christmas.” I chuckled at that, shaking my head over how simple it was for me—or my grandfather—to solve a problem I hadn’t known existed. “If you want kids, I can take care of the problem.”
“It’s not that simple, Sam,” he hissed. “She doesn’t have eggs. Her ovaries are a complete bust.”
“Still not a problem,” I promised. “Sure, it’s a little harder to do the work, and I might have to ask my grandfather for help, but it’s not a problem. He’s been teaching me so we won’t have kids unless Bailey’s ready for them. It’s the same principle but reversed. While demons come bundled with all sorts of problems, they aren’t without redeeming qualities. She could have a complete hysterectomy and my grandfather could reverse it.”
Perkins sucked in a breath, and he stared at me with wide eyes while I handled turning in our room keys and paying the parking fee. Once I had the hotel room sorted, I untangled the children from my legs, gave them one of the wheeled suitcases so they could help while not being too burdened, and gathered the rest of our bags.
“I’m not joking, Arthur. I wouldn’t do that to you. I just had no idea she’s barren. I don’t snoop all the time like most incubi. If you’re not comfortable with an incubus, I can inquire for a succubus. Either can do what needs done. If she’s not producing hormones properly, she’ll need a few sessions with one possibly. That happens sometimes, but even if she needs daily boosters throughout the pregnancy, it’s not an issue.”
“I think she became a scientist trying to discover if she could fix herself. Turns out medical science can do a lot, but it can’t make something from nothing,” he replied.
A lifetime of anguish burdened his tone, and I wondered how long he’d been carrying that deep, dark secret around with him.
“You have several options, I think. One is a permanent fix, which will throw her for a complete loop. Her body will have to adapt to the changes. The other option is temporary, although she’ll have to adapt for the duration of the pregnancy until she’s done nursing. Miracle kids, if you will—and yes, incubi and succubi can control the number of kids. We can even determine gender, but I think you’d prefer that to be a surprise, right? We can also ensure the pregnancy goes well from start to finish. That’s the one thing humans forget. Sex demons aren’t just about the sex. They’re about the children, too. Right up until birth is their domain. My grandfather’s probably a better choice, but if she needs some basic regulation, I can take care of that. Bailey had some issues, too. She didn’t know about it, but I took care of it.”
“Issues?”
“Hormonal irregularities. It happens in a lot of women. She wasn’t producing enough estrogen and needed a boost.” I grimaced. “Don’t tell any ladies in the office this, but I’m a bit of a meddler at the station. I just never saw Tiffany with any obvious symptoms when I was checking in on everyone around me. If I had noticed, I would’ve talked to you about this sooner.”
“You’ve been meddling with the women at the station?”
“Their health is my concern,” I growled. “To be fair, I check in on the men, too.”
“While I understand that—wait. You’ve been fixing our sexual health issues?”
“Basically. I’ve been doing it the entire time I’ve been a chief. Dowry knows,” I confessed. “I told him he could screw himself with a stick if he thought I wasn’t going to meddle when some of the women were in crippling pain while on the job. Some of the men were having heightened testosterone production, too, which was impairing them to some degree. I fix the actual problems and let the doctors do the rest. I am also the one who’ll tip off doctors if I think there’s a health problem I can’t fix.”
Perkins’s eyes widened. “Amanda. She’d be practically green sometimes, and that eased up after a while. I haven’t seen her turn green in ages.”
“She had endometriosis. In that case, I asked my grandfather to meddle with it when he was in the station. He did a permanent fix because I couldn’t. I’ve learned how to since, but I figured with a problem that severe, she was better off in the hands of an experienced incubus. And not literal hands. He didn’t even have to touch her to meddle. She could never get a correct diagnosis; I had her medical record pulled last year because it was harming her performance and concentration. That made it my jurisdiction.”
“I can’t tell if she’d thank you or kill you for meddling,” he admitted. “Secret’s safe with me. You can really…?”
“Help you and Tiffany have kids? Definitely. As soon as we catch up with our wives, if you’d like. Or even on Christmas. It’s looking more and more like we’ll be spending Christmas in Vegas. You’ll have to get her to stop drinking, though.”
“Unless I tell her, good luck with that,” he muttered.
“I can have my other grandfather meddle. He’d probably do it.”
“Which one?”
“The angel.”
“Okay, this I have to hear. Just how could he pull that off?”
“Simple. He can use an aversion. Anything alcoholic will turn her stomach.” I grimaced. “That is one of his favorite punishments for disobedient children and grandchildren. Misbehave? Favorite food rights are revoked until you’re ready to behave.”
Perkins snickered. “That’s brilliant. Do you think he’d be willing to do that until she figures out she’s pregnant?”
“I’ll ask.”
“We were talking about adopting.”
“You can still do that and have one of your own, you know.” I led the way to the rental. “Once we get this mess settled, I’ll take care of the details. I’m thinking I’ll recruit the grandfathers to watch the kids while we’re in Vegas, too. Start getting them socialized with hives and keep them busy. They’ll love it, and they’re old enough to start making new friends.”
“You really think…?”
“I wouldn’t do that to you, Arthur. Really. Yes, it’s possible, yes, I can make the arrangements by Christmas, and yes, we can keep an eye on her for the entire pregnancy. My kind? We’re walking fertility clinics. In case you didn’t know, most? Would do it if you asked. No payment needed. Most humans don’t ask, though.”
“Seriously? Why not?”
I shrugged. “Ask my grandfather. He’ll give you an entire histori
c breakdown of the prejudices of humanity. Haven’t you ever thought about why triads happen?”
“I just figured an angel really wanted to get it on with a human.”
“It’s much more than that. He loves triads, did you know that?”
That got Perkins’s attention. “Really? I thought he’d hate anything to do with one of His angels consorting with a demon.”
“A being of love can’t begrudge love, Perkins. And ultimately, He is a being of love. That’s not how it works. A triad is a true expression of the purest love. For a triad to successfully have a child, all three must have nothing but love for each other and the child they’re bringing into the world.”
“Huh. I never would have guessed.”
“Most don’t. It takes a special human to be part of a triad. That’s why triads are so rare.”
“You’d figure the demons would cut and run the instant the child is born.”
“With great love comes great sacrifice. Angels tend to suffer, too. They stay on the mortal coil as long as possible, their power significantly weakened for however long the triad lasts. He will call his triad angels back if He feels their health is suffering too much, but angels and demons alike pay a high price for their children. The human of the triad has it much easier, although they make sacrifices, too.”
“Well, I learned something new today. Let’s get this show on the road. Do you think Bailey will be able to get to Janet?”
“It depends on if she gets upset enough to call and ask for pet sitters. If she does, that woman has rockets strapped to her ass when she wants, and they’ve been making good time. Considering Bailey took her saddle with her, the saucy wenches were going to make a literal run for it.”
“Shit, Sam. Get Bailey on the phone, ask your grandfathers to watch the pets, and set Bailey loose. We’ve clocked her at over two hundred miles an hour, and the woman just doesn’t tire. If she’s out on a sunny day? She could cross the country in a day. We’ve tested some, and as long as she’s at a full gallop when she jumps, it doesn’t even bother her rider much.”
I blinked. “I see she’s been doing a lot of testing behind my back.”
“Don’t feel bad about it, Sam. I was the guinea pig because she knew how sick I got the first time she took me on a trip. We’ve figured out it has to do with inertia; as long as she’s at top speed when she jumps, her riders don’t really suffer from the jumps. We knew you were resilient to her jumping, so it was pointless testing with you. And she gets distracted when you’re riding her. Her focus snaps to making sure you stay perfectly safe. She’s willing to dump my ass off her back because I’m not you.”
While I didn’t like it, I acknowledged his point with a nod. “All right.” I got the kids into the SUV before digging out my phone and calling Bailey’s number.
“You again?” my wife answered, her tone amused. While her voice was still rough, she did sound better than earlier.
“Me again. Do you trust one of my pesky relatives to watch the pets? Perkins had an idea.”
“Shoot.”
“Transform, get saddled up, and take Tiffany to Janet. You could make it to Vegas by nightfall if you haul ass.”
“But we have the rental…”
“One of my pesky relatives can take care of the rental and the pets. They can’t meddle, but there’s nothing in the rule book saying they can’t follow you while you meddle.” I smiled. “We need to get to Janet as quickly as possible, and you’re the only one I can think of who can do it.”
“I’m in. It’ll suck, but I’m in. The SUV is loaded with neutralizer, too. In case there’s an outbreak.”
“Good. I’ll ask my grandfathers to make sure it follows after you while you do the heavy lifting. I’ll call them and call you back. Sound good?”
“I’ll talk to Tiffany about the details. We might need to use the n word.”
Napalm. The thought of my wife rampaging across the United States while on a napalm bender terrified the hell out of me, but there was no better fuel for her. “Ask Tiffany if she can make her blend with store-bought supplies.”
The sound clicked off Bailey’s phone, indicating she’d muted her line while she talked to Tiffany. I found that amusing, and while I waited, I considered how best to ask my grandfathers to care for the husky and ocelot.
They would be less than thrilled with me, but I couldn’t think of another way to make Bailey willing to leave them for any period of time.
“Okay. She says we can. Apparently, one of the ingredients is neutralizer, and we’ve got the best of the best in the back. She says the ignition point is even higher than the ridiculous stuff the CDC uses, so it should be good for me for a long run.”
“Okay, listen to me carefully, Bailey.”
“I’m listening.”
“Go to the nearest police station and ask for a temporary badge; tell them you were on vacation. Tell them to patch in through the FBI for the badge. Get a firearm exemption for Tiffany, and tell them to pull her records. Have them arm her with the best firearm they can. Tiffany’s good with a gun, and I want you to have backup, okay? Also, tell them you’re going in after one of your kidnapped officers; Dowry’s already confirmed the transfer, so Janet is ours.”
“Got it. Should I just go straight to an FBI building?”
“If you can find one. Do not go to the CDC.”
“Why not?”
“I trust the FBI more right now,” I replied, allowing my tone to darken. “They can handle your badge situation, too. They can also care for the pets until my grandfathers arrive. They’ll guard your rental and supplies as needed. The FBI and the NYPD have a good relationship.”
“But we’re not in New York.”
“Doesn’t matter. You’re a cop, and the FBI gets cops. We have friendly feuds, but at the end of the day, when a cop is in trouble, the FBI is who we turn to.”
“All right. We’ll be heading to the nearest FBI building. How are the kids?”
I smiled at the breathless quality of my wife’s voice. “They’re good. They’re going to help us do research work. They’re sweet, and I think you’ll like them.”
“Like them?” My wife’s laughter soothed me as nothing else. “I already love the little brats, and I’ll rip the snakes off anyone who tries to come between me and those poor babies.”
Bailey never did anything in half measures, and if I loved her any more, my heart would surely burst. “We are supposed to withstand a beating for them, Bailey. That doesn’t mean beat the competition into full submission.”
“I can beat the competition into submission before accepting a beating. Grudgingly.”
The grudgingly part worried me. “The kids do get to decide.”
“I’m very bad at charming people,” Bailey whined. “But I’m good in a fight! They’ll understand that, right?”
I smiled at the two kids, who were already lost in their books. “You fight, I’ll charm.”
“Deal! And you screwed the pooch this time, Police Chief Samuel Quinn!” my wife crowed. “You’re letting me do the fighting while you’re doing the charming, so you can’t stop me this time! I get to fight!”
Shit. I laughed despite knowing I had made a basic mistake and removed my ability to protest her participation in the fight. “You win. Get to the FBI station, get your badge taken care of, and go find Janet. We’ll be hot on your heels. I’ll be there as soon as I can. I’ll need you to update us with your position. Once your rental is gone, we won’t be able to track you anymore.”
“We’ll be talking about you tracking the rental, you sneaky man.”
She’d find I would be a willing participant in whatever punishment she had in mind. “Noted.”
“Good. We’ll call you with updates as we have them,” my wife promised before hanging up. I took a deep breath, sighed, and called my angelic grandfather.
One day, I’d figure out how an angel kept a cell phone, but by the second ring, he answered, “How can I be of service, litt
le grandson?”
“I know you’re not allowed to meddle in this situation, but is watching a husky puppy and an ocelot kitten meddling? And perhaps driving a rental car to Las Vegas along with a very expensive stash of high-grade neutralizer?”
“An arrangement could be made,” my grandfather replied.
I sighed again, this time out of relief. “Thank you. Bailey is going after Janet, and I don’t want her worrying about the pets. We’re going to blitz—”
“Take a plane, my little grandson. It will be much faster and beneficial for you to do so.”
I blinked, wondering how I could have possibly failed to consider the option of taking a flight out west. “Huh. You’re a fountain of wisdom.”
My grandfather chuckled. “You have something else you want to ask.”
“Think you and grandfather can help Tiffany? A child for Christmas. I already told Arthur I’d try to help.”
“That’s the sort of meddling we can help with, yes. Has he asked?”
I held the phone out to Perkins. “Ask for a child for Christmas, Arthur.”
Perkins’s eyes widened, but he took the phone. “Uh, hello? Oh! Sylvester. I, uh… I don’t suppose it’s possible for us to have a child? At Christmas? She’s…”
I smothered my desire to laugh at my friend’s perplexed expression. He wouldn’t understand I’d laugh out of happiness for him rather than mockery at his nervousness. A moment later, he handed the phone back, and I pretended I didn’t notice the sheen of tears in his eyes.
“Nervous, that one,” my grandfather said as soon as I had the phone near my ear. “However embarrassing that may have been for him to say, it needed to be said.”
“I told him about the need to ask.”
“I know. I will take a moment to check in with your bride when I go to care for your pets. Your worries for her are more potent than usual.”
“She’s sick from being out in the cold as a unicorn.”
“She’ll be fine. She’ll be plenty warm enough soon, so don’t worry.”
“That reminds me. I need a new prescription for a chill pill. Tiffany said the one I have is wrong.”