“But, my parents,” I tell him as a lump forms in my stomach. How can I leave them alone? With my dad working all of the time and my mum so ill?
“You said they want you to go to university. So you wouldn’t be around next year either way? You could come back during breaks and visit.” Adam’s eyes light up with hope. “It’ll work, Ellie. I know it will.”
“Kate did mention that one of her scholarships was to a school in Los Angeles,” I think out loud.
“Brilliant!” Adam says, a wide grin spreading across his handsome face. “You’re so smart, I’m sure you can get a scholarship there too.”
He makes it sound too easy. Maybe it is that easy. The deciding factor is my parents. I can’t leave without their blessing. I won’t, and that breaks my heart all over again.
* * *
With only a few weeks left in the term, I have to talk to my parents about Los Angeles. I’ve applied to so many schools, I don’t even remember which ones until the letters begin to arrive. I was accepted into almost all of them, with large scholarships to several. I’m scared to death to hear my parents’ answer. If they say yes, I won’t be around to help my mum go through the last cycle of her chemo. If they say no, I’ll lose Adam and be heartbroken. Either way I can’t win.
Gathering up as much courage as I can, I sit on a small armchair in our lounge and wipe my sweaty palms on my skirt, the sounds of the television squawking in the background.
“Mum, Dad, can we have a chat?” I ask, my wavering voice betraying me already.
My dad puts down his newspaper and they both turn their eyes to me, giving me their complete focus. Mum looks tired, really tired. Chemo hasn’t been kind to her.
“Yes, dear?” my dad asks, waiting for me to speak.
I close my eyes and spit out the facts as quickly as I possibly can. “Kate is going to Los Angeles to go to university. I’ve looked into scholarships and it looks as if I’ll get enough money to go to the same school. I’d like to go, but I don’t want to leave you two if it means not having enough help round here to get Mum to her appointments and what not,” I blurt out without taking a single breath, only opening my eyes when I’m done.
My parents stare at me after my rambling outburst. They look as if I just told them I’m pregnant with an alien child and am moving to Mars. I specifically leave Adam out of the equation. I don’t want them to think I’m leaving to shack up with my boyfriend, even though that’s kind of what I’m doing.
“So…?” I ask as I fidget with a fraying edge on the cushion of my chair.
Dad snaps out of it first, regaining his composure and closing his gaping jaw. “So you want to go to university in the U.S.? That’s what you’re asking?” he asks in a tone that gives me no hint as to what he’s thinking about my outburst.
I flick my eyes from him to my mum, then back again. “Yes,” I say, nodding in agreement.
My parents turn to look at each other, communicating silently somehow, in that way that people who are each other’s halves can do. Then they focus back on me as I twitch nervously on the tiny chair.
Inexplicably, the unthinkable happens. They both smile. Real smiles. Probably the first ones that have occurred in this flat since Mum’s cancer diagnosis.
“We think that’s brilliant, Ellie. Just wonderful. Our daughter smart enough to go to school in the U.S.” My mum has tears of happiness filling up her eyes.
Dad gets up and pulls me into a hug, “We couldn’t be more proud of you, Ellie,” he says, choking back his emotions.
“Really?” I squeak out. “You don’t think I should stay here and help? Because I will, I don’t want to leave you without extra hands…”
My mum cuts me off before I can finish. “Ellie, we want you to make something of yourself. Get out of this place. Our only wish for you is to not end up here.” The tears are now coursing freely down her cheeks.
I step over to her and sit next to her on the sofa, carefully wrapping my mum in an embrace. Her body is so small and frail now. Gone is her long golden hair, replaced by a colorful scarf tied around her head. Gone is the healthy, strong woman that raised me, replaced by a pale shell. But today, for the first time in a while, I can see a hint of the mischievous twinkle in her eyes that has been missing since the diagnosis.
She pats my cheek lovingly. “Be happy, Ellie. That’s all we want.”
“Okay, Mum. Dad.” I manage to get to my room and close the door before I burst into silent tears. I have no idea if the tears are happy, sad, or both.
15
Adam
“Everything is working out brilliantly, Dax.” We head toward my flat, chatting excitedly about the future the entire way. I forgot my notebook there and we need it to go over a few lyrics at band practice.
Ellie had to go home and fill out more paperwork for admission into the University of California, so we walked her there before setting off for my place. It’s all working out perfect. We’ll all be in Los Angeles together, even Ellie’s best friend Kate who got a scholarship to play football there. Apparently, unlike the U.K., girl’s footy is a huge deal in the States.
“Gavin and Hawke are leaving on Saturday, and we can get our tickets and join them after the term is over,” Dax says. “It’s going to be so cool. Playing gigs in bars in L.A. All those famous places we’ve read about.”
“Exactly!” I’m unable to contain my enthusiasm. “If Hawke’s uncle is even half as good as the two of them say he is, we’ll be signed in no time.”
It takes me a minute to unlock the door to my flat, but I finally get it open. When I walk inside, I stop short before I can take more than a few steps into the room. Dax slams into the back of me, cursing at my sudden halt.
“What the hell? Why did you…?” He cuts his sentence short when he sees exactly why I stopped short.
“Ahhhh, my piece of shit son is finally home!” booms the tall, lean man who stands a few meters opposite us.
An icy fist clenches my stomach and twists at the sight, sending a jolt of fear down my spine. “What are you doing here?” I hope the panic that I feel isn’t too obvious in my voice.
An amused look crosses the unexpected visitor’s face, his familiar hazel eyes trapping me like a mouse being toyed with by a cat. “Is that any way to greet your dad?”
My fists clench in anger at my sides. “You aren’t my dad. Never have been, never will be.”
Dax’s large hand grips my shoulder, holding me in place. Though I doubt he knows I’d rather turn back than leap forward and fight, I let him think he’s keeping me from attacking my dad. “Don’t let him get to you. It’s not worth it,” he whispers in my ear.
The man who gave me half of my DNA steps closer to us, my body tensing up at his proximity.
“Still hanging around with lowlife chavs, I see.” His eyes flick over to Dax then back to me.
Dax grips my shoulder even harder, his thick fingers digging into my flesh. Unlike me, Dax would probably love to have a go at my dad. Fighting’s in his blood. “Well, I guess that’s something I inherited from you,” I throw back at him.
My dad smirks. “Oh, I think you’re more like me than you’ll admit. Word’s out that you’re working for Danny again.”
“I’m not working for Danny,” I hiss, the anger building deep inside me, begging to be let out. “I worked for Danny, it’s not something I plan on doing again.” My eyes dart around the small room. “Where’s Mum?” I don’t know why I ask, I can’t say I care where she is most days.
He takes another step forward, now close enough for me to smell the whiskey that perpetually surrounds him, a smell that brings back memories of pain and terror. “I heard that you’re not working for Danny anymore because you’re too much of a nancy to prevent getting jumped. Maybe I didn’t do a good enough job teaching your sorry arse how to fight.” He takes another step. “And who cares where your pathetic whore of a mother is? She’s probably out selling herself for a hit.” His spiteful laugh echoes througho
ut the flat.
I grit my teeth together, simultaneously afraid of the man who beat me more times than I can count, and furious at his assumption that I should have been able to fight off three guys with knives. I hate violence, I loathe it. The fight with Callum made me sick to my stomach and gave me nightmares for weeks. All because I’m afraid of becoming exactly who I hate the most, my dad.
“I don’t fight… I’m not you. I’ll never be like you!” I shout, biting the inside of my cheek to focus on the blood in my mouth instead of raining fists down on this sorry excuse for a human.
My words cause something dark to spark in my father’s eyes. Something I’ve seen time and time again. I stiffen up, ready for the blows that always follow that look.
My dad lunges for me, and I’m prepared to take a punch to the jaw as I’ve done so many times before. Instead of the pain of a fist, I’m shoved to the ground roughly, so caught off guard that I can’t keep my balance. I scramble to get back on my feet, not wanting to be subjected to the brutal kicks to my ribs that he loves to inflict when I’m on the ground. I get up just in time to see Dax land several expert jabs to my dad’s body, and a final blow to his temple, sending him down… hard.
Dax shakes out his hands and turns to face me. “Let’s get your stuff and get out of here. He’s not going to be happy when he wakes.” His voice is calm and even, as if he didn’t just lay someone out.
My best mate cracks his neck and flexes his enormous biceps, not having broken a sweat or showing any signs that he just knocked my dad out cold. Then again, unlike me, Dax does fight. A lot. And his conscious is somewhat less developed than most people. Frankly, he just doesn’t give a shit.
I nod and head for my room, stuffing as much as I can into two big, ratty duffels. I grab my notebook and guitar and meet Dax at the door. Taking one last look back at the sad, dilapidated flat, my pathetic father splayed out on the dirty floor, I close the door.
I’m never going back to that life. I’m free.
* * *
“So you’ll crash here with me, and we’ll move up our plan and fly to the U.S. a few weeks early to meet Gavin and Hawke.” Dax paces his tiny room in a flat across town from mine trying to figure out our next move. He shares it with his oldest brother so there’s hardly space to turn around, let alone pace. I sit on one of the beds to stay out of his way.
“Dax, keep your hair on, yeah?” I watch my best mate as he realizes the consequences of knocking out my dad. “Let’s not go completely mental yet. I don’t think your parents will appreciate me staying here that long.”
I’m trying my best to calm Dax down, but I know as well as he does that he’s right. My dad isn’t going to forget what happened. The only things we have on our side are Dax, his three huge brothers, and the fact that we’re leaving the U.K. very soon.
Dax scowls at me, crossing his arms over his wide chest. “Don’t be ridiculous, my parents love you.” He pauses, scrubbing a large hand over the back of his neck. “Do you think your dad will tell Danny?”
“You know Danny doesn’t give a crap about our dad. Unless we nicked Danny’s drugs or money he’s not going to do shit about anything,” I remind Dax.
“Alright then. I have a fight tonight after practice, you coming? You can help out round the club if you want to make yourself feel better about staying here.” He finally stops his twitching to see what I’ll say.
“Why not?” I figure if I go with Dax, I’ll have a bunch of huge guys around me in case my dad gets any ideas. He can be a dangerous bastard and wouldn’t think twice about fucking me up right good, son or not.
Dax grabs his bag and throws a few things in it for tonight. “We might as well go now and I can warm up. Plus, I can tell my brothers to look out for your arsehole of a dad.” He hauls the bag up on his shoulder and opens his bedroom door, stalking out as I follow behind.
I don’t say anything. What would I say? He’s right, my dad is an arsehole, and because he defended me, Dax is probably someone he would love to see suffer. Not that Dax can’t take care of himself, but just like the punks who stabbed me, my dad is well connected with some really dodgy blokes. Two or three stints in lock-up will get you those kinds of friends.
Dax has three brothers, all only separated by a few years. I think his oldest brother, Ethan, is only twenty-two. Liam and Shaun are in the middle, twins. I can’t imagine growing up in this miniscule flat with that many boys, especially the Davies boys, because they are fucking enormous, each and every one of them. Their dad raised them to fight, and once they were old enough he expected them to do their share to earn money, even if it meant having more broken bones than they could possibly count.
We head out for the underground fight club that Dax’s dad runs and I pray that his brothers are receptive to helping us get out of the country in one piece.
16
Ellie
Pounding. No, it’s more of a banging. Wait… actually, it sounds like hammering. Yes, a constant hammering, that’s what I hear.
I force myself to sit up in bed and throw my legs over the side. Crap. I look down and see that I’m still dressed in my clothes from yesterday. That means I passed out while studying, again.
The insistent thumping noise snaps me out of my half-awake state. I finally put the pieces together and realize that someone is knocking at the front door and they’re getting impatient. I stand up and stretch, my body aching from another fitful night’s sleep. Exhausted, I trudge through the lounge to the door.
“Ellie! Are you in there? So help me you better answer the sodding door!” An obviously upset voice shouts from the hallway.
“Adam?” I’m still not completely awake and alert.
“Ellie? Open up, now!” Adam insists, his voice bordering on coming unhinged.
I quickly unlock the two dead-bolts and open the door. Adam rushes past me and spins around to face back the way he came, staring me down with a surly expression and darkened eyes.
“What the hell, Ellie? You don’t show up at school and you don’t answer the door? I’ve been standing out here for ten bloody minutes! I thought something horrible happened to you!” During his tirade, Adam alternates between pacing frantically back and forth across the small space, gesticulating wildly with his arms, and throwing angry glares my way.
I calmly shut the door and turn back to my visibly distraught boyfriend. Closing the few steps between us, I grab his flailing arm and fit myself under it, snuggling into his hard chest. “I’m sorry.” I snake my arms around his trim waist and lay my head against his chest. “I fell asleep studying. Last night was … hard. Mum was ill, she had to be up for an appointment today. Dad was taking her this morning so I stayed up with her…”
Adam silences me by letting go of his irritation and wrapping his arms around me, crushing me against his body. I can literally feel his anger dissipate as his stiff posture relaxes. He buries his face in my hair and exhales in relief. “I was so fucking scared, Sweetheart. Jesus, if anything happened to you, I don’t know what I’d do.” He brushes soft kisses over my neck, his warm breath caressing my ear.
Startled by his statement, I tilt back on my heels so I can see his face. “What do you mean if something happened to me? Why would something happen?”
Adam’s jaw ticks and his warm hazel eyes go cold, sapped of their usual life. I watch as the blood drains from his face, then rushes back to turn his cheekbones a deep scarlet. He releases me from his embrace and slides one hand into mine, tugging me over to the sofa. “Sit with me.” He sounds calm, but his twitching fingers and clenched jaw expose the truth. Adam is freaking out.
“What’s going on? You’re scaring me.” I plead with him to speak to me.
Adam shifts uncomfortably, twitching and fidgeting, obviously trying to collect his thoughts. His hand is still clasped in mine, his rough fingers gently rubbing my wrist. Whether the gesture is to keep himself calm or to keep me calm, I’m not sure.
“My dad came to see me last night,
” he says, unable to meet my eyes as he relays what has him so on edge.
“Your dad? I thought he was gone?” I scrunch my face in confusion. Adam mentioned that his dad was a complete tosser, but not that he still sees him. I had figured that he disappeared a long time ago.
“No, he turns up from time to time. Usually to smack me or my mum around.” Adam clears his throat, faking indifference as he speaks. I see him swallowing to hide his emotions, his throat constricting and relaxing each time he does it. “Anyway, Dax was with me, and he sort of … well, he sort of knocked my dad out cold.”
I gasp, then I smile. “Wait, that’s good, right? He got what he deserved, Adam. You shouldn’t feel bad.” I try to make him see that this isn’t his fault, he shouldn’t have guilt for his horrible father getting injured.
Adam slowly turns to look at me, his handsome face, usually so happy and full of life in spite of the home he was raised in, is ashen and terrified. “No Ellie, it’s not good. He’s not a forgiving kind of guy. I can’t go back to my flat unless I want to wake up and find him standing over my bed with a knife in his hand. That’s why I never defend myself, or my mum. He wouldn’t hesitate to kill one of us. Plus, I hate being like him, a vicious, sadistic bastard that hurts people. I refuse to turn into that. But Dax? Dax has no problem with violence or fighting, and he just didn’t think. When you weren’t at school… I thought…I…”
“I’m fine,” I interrupt, squeezing his hand reassuringly. “He doesn’t know about me, right?” Adam nods, confirming my statement. “So what does this mean? Where will you go?” My heart is breaking for this gentle soul in front of me. He’s so adverse to bloodshed that he’s unwilling to use force against the man who beats him regularly and has been terrorizing him for years. Yet, that doesn’t make sense. He fought Callum for me, contradicting every single one of his beliefs.
Before I can ask about Callum, Adam speaks again. “I’m going to be at Dax’s place, but I can’t stay there long. My dad will know that I’m there, El. Dax and his brothers are huge and can take care of themselves, but I won’t bring my crap to his doorstep. His family doesn’t deserve it.” Adam shifts around so he’s angled towards me and takes both of my hands in his. “Ellie, we’re leaving sooner than we planned, me and Dax. We’ve moved up our tickets to Los Angeles to this Saturday.”
The Complete Rockstar Series Page 9