Have Your Sight Blockers Ready—A Sight Blocker is something that: (a) the cats can’t see through, (b) is solid enough that you can place it between them and they can’t bust through it, and (c) is high enough that you don’t have to bend down to place it between the two cats and your hands are out of the “danger zone” should a fight break out. Flattened and taped-up cardboard boxes of the appropriate height have always worked best for me, or you could try a thick piece of foam core. Don’t use a blanket or something flimsy. They’ll just run through it. When you see that first sign of doom—usually it’s the moment at which movement stops and the staredown starts—it’s game over: sight blocker down. If you can’t control them with toys and treats, lead them away. Use the sight blocker to guide someone out of the room. Again, your goal is to end everything on a high note, or at least not a low note.
Last Resort Removal Option—In the event of a serious lockdown, when you can’t get the cats to budge even with sight blockers down, or if, despite your best efforts, a fight breaks out, a blanket can be a good friend. Just toss it over one of them, scoop him up, and remove him from the room. Another tool to have on hand is an empty soda can with pennies in it and tape across the opening. As opposed to using your voice, which will just add bad associations on top of an already bad situation, shaking that can will help shock the cats out of the moment they are locked into. The thing that unites these tools? They help to keep your panicked initial response from happening, which is just to scream and stick your hands into the cat blender. That will never end well for you.
Be “Fire Drill” Ready—Sight blockers, penny cans, and blankets should be placed so that no matter where you are in the room, you can quickly access them while you are also allowing the organic process of the two cats comingling to happen. In other words, the last thing you want is to hover—you’ve got to have the confidence to step back, be cool, and remove panic from a stressful situation. That’s why we think of all eventualities, and proactively incorporate our tools. Ask yourself: if they begin to fight, where will it be most likely to break out and where will it end? Mark those areas with sight blockers, cans, and blankets. At the same time, you need to be able to spring into action should the proceedings go south. The key is, though, that springing into action contains steps that you’ve thought through enough times—which means your response will be measured, appropriate to the situation itself, and not driven by emotions.
Another note: It definitely takes two to tango when it comes to the Fire Drill process for cat introductions. Your partner in the Fire Drill is not only on the same page, but the same paragraph, the same sentence.
YOUR ENDGAME HERE is to create an even fuller immersion into the positive association experience we’ve been working on throughout this entire section. In this case, there is no barrier between the two cats, hence the prehockey game metaphor, and you will ultimately shoot for both cats eating a meal in the same room. Success here is the final frontier before full integration.
Here is the step-by-step process for pulling this off:
Know Your Players: Get to know who you’re dealing with.
What type of players are your resident and newcomer? Model T? Sports car? (See chapter 7 for more info on types of Cat Players.)
Do they tend to be more food motivated or love/attention motivated?
What is the highest order of pleasure on their cat “Jackpot!” meter? What would go beyond really liking something and guarantee engrossment? Would it involve a favorite food/Jackpot! Treat, a special toy, or something like brushing or petting? Keep in mind that these treats/activities need to be something that keeps his motor humming and motivation high even when another cat is in his space.
Prime the Jackpot! Pump: You may be absolutely sure of what your cat’s favorite treat or toy is, but it will only become “Jackpot!” after a period of absence. This is to say that, before getting into the EPL festivities, you must withhold her favorite things. I know, it’s going to be hard not to dispense treats or favorite tastes whenever she gives you those big baleful eyes or that mournful “Why do you hate me?” meow, but don’t give in! Delayed gratification will turn all of these things into a Jackpot! party!
Ritualize an Optimal Play Session with Each Cat: Once you know your player’s preferences, it’s important to have a successful session with one cat in the absence of the other cat, so you know what it looks like when each cat is engaged vs. when each is distracted. This will help you evaluate and monitor the Eat Play Love session when they are both in the same room, and, just as important, it will help end the session on a high note. Just like with food, we need a Jackpot! when it comes to the type of toy that starts your cat’s engine. Once you find one, find others. Rotating toys plays into the Raw Cat Rhythm because it mimics variety in types of prey and, of course, keeps the game fresh day after day. Ritualizing is essential because you will know both what they like for play, and also when they are about to be turned off. Instead of giving them the opportunity to dash for the other cat, you are ending the session while they are still distracted by the play. You’ll stay one step ahead of the game.
The Eat Play Love Session: Ready to go? To prepare, choose the common-area room in which to have the joint session. This should be the largest room with the most amount of empty space; a crowded, smaller room gives the cats too many things to focus on and too many opportunities to get away from you and to get at each other. Next, enlist the help of a friend, significant other, family member, etc. As I said, I’m always a proponent of having human partners to aid in these introduction steps, but this exercise, specifically, is one you just can’t do solo.
Important: Remember the hockey analogy—we want both cats moving in those big, opposing circles. Momentum is on equal par with engagement during this exercise, and, likewise, stasis is our greatest enemy.
Start with One Cat: Begin by playing with only one cat in the room at first. Make sure he is engaged, and keep him moving. If you are dispensing treats, get that bread-crumb trail going; as he is chewing one, you put the next one down where he can see it, so that he is moving toward his next goal as he’s finishing the previous one. The same goes for toys; you need to be in control of your cat’s head—the rest will follow. In times of potential staredowns, nothing is more your friend than your ability to move your cat’s eyes where you want them to look.
Bring in the Other Cat: Casually have your partner bring the other cat into the room with her already engaged. In a perfect world, you would lead the cat into the space with whatever is her Jackpot!, whether that is food, a toy, etc. This way you are not creating that extra static energy on your cat’s part by being carried into the space. You should aim for giving her that extra dose of Mojo that comes from thinking that she is making all of her own decisions.
Keep the “Rhythm” Going: The most important component when you bring the cats together is establishing and maintaining a rhythm of play once they hit the room. This is where your partner’s help is invaluable, because he or she can work to focus the other cat on the session while you do the same with yours.
End the Session: The session will end in one of two ways: either the cats will end it, or the humans will. It goes without saying that you would prefer the latter every time. Knowing your cats’ physical language tells you when boredom is setting in, which leads to being easily distracted. That said, you can’t possibly retain all control all the time. Here are some extra tips to prevent a throwdown:
The moment one cat stops moving, stares at the other cat, and will not be redirected, you might as well call it a day.
A perfect-world end to a session would be to lead them out of the room with a toy. As I said, I always prefer, for the sake of Cat Mojo, for cats to feel like they are making the decisions. If that decision, however, is looking like it’s going to be a messy one, and if you need to pick up one of the cats and bring him into another room befor
e the cats take action on that decision, then that’s what you do.
Always choose to end the exercise on a high note. Remember, you are trying to create positive associations, which is a check we can cash only with consistent, positive endings. Listen to your gut—are you adding one final challenge to the day’s proceedings or one too many brushstrokes?
Cap off the EPL sequence—no matter if it ends good, bad, or ugly—with dinner. Chances are that your cats will probably be on the full side if the day went well, so you may need to hold off on mealtime for a bit, but keep the consistency going. At this point, the cats expect to eat dinner on either side of the door/gate, and it’s one last chance to end the day on a positively reinforced note.
Final Goal for Eat Play Love: Once you are secure in Eat Play Love—when you can accomplish EPL without having to end it prematurely, and it’s a ritual that has become a part of the everyday cycle—then you can break down the door/gate barrier for mealtime and end the session by feeding the cats on the side of the room that they occupy. Just remember that imaginary “red line” in the center of the room. Start with a more respectful distance on either side of the red line, just as you did initially with the door feeding ritual. In the end, eating tends to be the easiest path to détente that I know of.
Cat Daddy Eat Play Love Tips
Switch It Up: Use the principles of site swapping when doing Eat Play Love. If you do it the same way every single day, with one cat entering the perceived territory of another cat, then you’re inadvertently setting up a dynamic for overownership or lack thereof. Switch off: one day, bring the newcomer into the room where the resident is playing, then the next day, bring the resident into the room where the newcomer is playing.
Subdue the Staredown: As you go forward with this exercise and do it multiple times, you’ll know how to best redirect your cats if they start to stare. Distraction left unchecked can lead to the dreaded staredown. Knowing when distraction is about to happen means that you have an opportunity to retain control, redirect their attention, or choose to just call it a day. Essentially, really knowing their body language keeps you a step ahead of the game . . . and the cats. Remember: it’s on you to conduct these exercises without a fight breaking out.
Baby Steps to Success: At the beginning of this process, look for success in very small increments. If the going has already been a little tough during the introduction, having the two cats in the same territory and occupied for just one minute is a win. Although it might seem silly at first, write down the exact amount of time that this brief session lasted. Tomorrow, when you up it by five, ten, or even fifteen seconds, you’ve won that day, too. Sometimes the biggest successes come in the form of just a few seconds.
Don’t Sweat the Setbacks—Just Step Back
There’s always a possibility that, despite our best-laid plans, a fight breaks out. That shouldn’t be the end of your work; that should just be the end of the day. But it doesn’t mean that you’re doing everything wrong. Sometimes, you’re just working against what these cats have conditioned themselves to act like around each other. Sometimes, the cats are just having a bad day, or something stressful occurs in the home to throw off the predictable rhythms. Again, it’s important to remember that in the course of any relationship, there are fights. We just use words—they use claws. For your well-being, remember that an argument doesn’t define a relationship; it’s what happens afterward that does.
So what do you do if this happens? Back it up a step. For instance, if your first attempt at Eat Play Love ended before it ever began, with chaos erupting as soon as the exercise commenced, take it back to the last spot of repeated and predictable success. In this case, let’s say that the last time you fed three meals in a row without even a sideways glance from either participant was: opposite sides of the door, full visual access, three feet of separation. Then that’s where you go back to. If that’s asking too much (meaning either or both cats avoid eating, engage in too much growling, etc.), retrace the process back one step from there. You will find, very quickly, an acceptable Challenge Line where you can restart the process.
FIFTEEN SECONDS OF PEACE
Even in the hardest cases, if you have fifteen seconds of peace and you keep building, you will have success. Just like I spoke about regarding the Challenge Line, introducing cats is like the beginning stages of a roller coaster. Have faith, there will come that moment when, all of a sudden, boom—the tracks take over, it just breaks free, you have a group rhythm in the house, and all is well.
Commonly Asked Questions
What If You Have More Than Two Cats?
If you have more than two cats, I recommend that you build relationships one pair at a time. Start with the “easier” cats if possible, so they can create a social bridge for the other relationships. Do all of the exercises with different combinations of cats, being sure not to overwhelm the newcomer with too many cats at once.
Do Cats Need Their Own Litterboxes?
Is it a sign of impending territorial strife when one cat is using the other cat’s box to pee or poop? There is no such thing as one cat’s box. You want to have n+1 litterboxes, but each litterbox is a communal signpost and should have every cat’s scent in it. In the cat’s social world, there is no sense of the proprietary. One cat does not (or should not) put his name on any object to the exclusion of any other cat. Every cat is going to use those signposts, at some point, if they so desire.
I’ve had many clients over the years who, for one reason or another, clung to the notion that each cat should have his own litterbox, and that the cats perceive it to be a great social transgression for one cat to use another’s box.
Not only is this a case of human projection, but keeping this perceived social order intact will, more often than not, backfire. There’s no way to tell a cat, “Don’t use this box, but use that box.” Anytime you try to stop a cat from going into any litterbox, you are simply sending mixed messages that will often end with that cat rejecting every litterbox. Very simply, let the cats decide which boxes they want to use.
What If We Have Two Cats Who Simply Will Not Get Along, Despite Our Best Efforts in Implementing All of This “Introduction” Advice?
This is tricky. How long do you continue to try and make it work when the cats are letting you know that they don’t want it to? Knowing when it’s just not a good fit is a very personal decision, so it’s tough for me to weigh in on it in such a general way.
One thing I can say is that throughout this process, your expectations have to be realistic. Ultimately, you can’t make cats get along. There is always the chance for human misinterpretation of the relationship. I’ve seen this countless times—the cats are getting along, but the relationship just doesn’t look the way you want it to look. Maybe you want your cats to groom each other on the bed or act like littermates, but in many cases, cats getting along means they simply tolerate one another. As far as I’m concerned, as long as there is a cease-fire, and as long as they have a truce in which they declare, “We can share space,” all is good. That means the groundwork is set for dialogue, and for the building of a lifelong relationship that will, like all relationships, grow. That said, check out chapter 14 for a number of Superdeluxe remedies to common cat aggression problems.
MOJO MAINTENANCE
Now that the introduction period is in the rear view, here are a couple of helpful hints to keep things harmonious between your cats in the years ahead:
Stay Resource Rich: One of the common denominators I see in the long-term success of feline relations is that there remains an abundance of resources available for all resident cats. Do you have enough resources to go around? How is the Sundial situation? Is there plenty of vertical space for everyone? Are you maintaining separate food dishes and plus-one litterboxes?
Keep Everyone Tired and Happy: Cats who play together, stay together . . . in relative harmony. However, we can’t always pr
esume that “playing together” will mean that your cats will be playing with each other like a couple of kittens every day. That’s where your commitment to HCKE factors in. By keeping up with your “Play = Prey” strategies (as discussed in chapter 7), we help to burn away that excess energy buildup that can lead to problems between cats.
Expecting to Expand the Family with a New Dog or Child?: In the same way that there are optimal procedures to introduce cats to cats, there are optimal procedures to introduce cats to dogs, as well as kids. Stay tuned.
CATS AND DOGS
If you are anything like me, you got most of your childhood animal education from Saturday morning cartoons. I’ll admit it—by the time I turned seven or eight years old, I just knew that cats and dogs were born to hate one another. I was also positive that dogs hated smart-aleck rabbits, cats hated tweety birds, and coyotes hated roadrunners. Well, coyotes pretty much hated everyone, but that’s because of their superiority complex. . . . Anyhow, I digress.
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