“Yeah…”
“Oh, this place is wonderful!” My mother pushes passed me and enters the apartment.
“Come on in,” I say after the fact. I close the door behind them.
“You just moved in, I see!” She gestures to the open boxes.
“Yep,” I say. “Still a move in progress.”
“That’s what Carter said,” Kevin says.
“Oh, that reminds me—” my mother says. “He told us you two broke up.” She offers me a quick expression of sadness. “What happened there? You two were so good together.”
“Oh, it… was… just a long story,” I squeak out.
“Well, you should reconsider. That poor boy looked heartbroken,” she says.
“When did you start playing video games, Mina?” Kevin says as he glances into an open box next to the shelf.
“Oh— I, uh — those aren’t mine…” I mutter.
“They’re mine.”
I look over my shoulder to see Seth stepping into the living room.
My mother drops her jaw. “Oh, Sethy!” She rushes over to him and jumps up to wrap her arms around him. He nearly falls over from the shock, but rights the two of them easily. “Hey, Jackie…” he says.
“What are you doing here?!” my mother asks him.
Seth glances over at me, most likely hoping that I’d intervene with a response, but I’m frozen in time. “Well…” he says. “Mina… needed a roommate. To help pay the rent and whatnot.”
“Well, I don’t doubt that —” Kevin says. “This is a nice neighborhood. My first thought was how little Mina was affording this place.”
I chuckle. “Yeah, well, Seth was getting bored of his old place. And we figured, what the hell, you know…”
“Oh, that makes me so happy to see my kids together again, helping each other out…” my mother says.
Seth and I continue our awkward glances and smiles.
“So, what brings you into town?” Seth asks.
“I’m remodeling your father’s office,” my mother says. “And this place has way better furniture stores than our two horse town.”
“Oh, cool,” I say.
“Are you two busy?” Kevin asks. “We’d love it if you joined us.”
My mother claps her hands together. “Oh, that’s a great idea! You guys can pick out any missing furniture you need!”
“Oh, well, we kind of have everything we need already,” I say.
“That’s nonsense! You don’t even have a couch in your living room.” My mother gestures are the bare room. “No. I won’t take no for an answer. I want an afternoon together with my kids — and then we can go to dinner!”
I shrug my shoulders, all the while glancing at Seth. “Okay…” I say with forced enthusiasm.
“I’ll go bring the truck around,” Kevin says. He pats my shoulder as he walks towards the door.
“Sounds like fun,” Seth says.
My mother makes her way over to me. “Now, as we wait — I want to hear all about your break-up, Mina,” she says. “Spare me no details!”
I chuckle awkwardly as she pushes Seth and I out the door with her.
***
“Mom, please,” I say. “I kind of really don’t want to talk about it.” I take a larger step down the row of sofas and reclining chairs to try and get a little distance from her.
My mother scoffs. “Well, I don’t see why—”
“It’s just… all still very fresh, that’s all,” I say, glancing across the show floor. I see Seth and my stepfather chatting as they admire a line of high-definition televisions. “I’d rather the wounds have a chance to heal before dousing them with salt.”
She throws up her arms. “Okay, okay. I get it, I do,” she says. “I won’t ask again.”
“Thank you.”
I feel her claws dig into my arm. “Just tell me—” she whispers, pulling me to a stand still. “He didn’t hit you?”
“No — god, no.”
“He didn’t try and… you know… force you to do something you didn’t want to do?”
“Of course not!”
“Did he cheat on you? Oh, that son-of-a—”
“No, mom,” I laugh and put a hand over hers. “It was nothing like that. Things just didn’t work out. Our lives were going in separate directions, so we split.”
Her grip loosens. “All right,” she shrugs. “If it wasn’t meant to be then it wasn’t meant to be.”
“Exactly,” I say. I inspect my skin to make sure she left no marks.
“It just seems so odd that your brother would move out around the same time,” my mother notices.
“It’s just coincidence, Mom,” I say.
“So, Seth didn’t do anything to break you up?” she asks.
I pause and turn to her. “What do you mean?”
She makes a quick glance around the room to spot the men’s location before continuing. “Well, I never wanted to tell you about this, but… I know that Seth has had… well… he’s had some feelings for you in the past.”
“What?” The shock hits me like a brick wall. Not the revelation about Seth’s feelings, he told me all about those. But hearing it from my mother’s lips is something new entirely.
“It was years ago. But once your stepfather and I caught him… well… you know…” She makes an obscene stroke motion with her hand. “With a photo of you.”
“O… kay…” I say.
She clutches my shoulders. “But you don’t have to worry about that. We gave him a good talking — told him that any feelings outside of the norm that he may have for you are very inappropriate.”
“When was this?” I ask.
“Oh, years ago,” she answers. “I think he was about fourteen or so.”
I nod my head as I get lost in her words.
“I’m pretty sure he got over it. We had no more problems after that,” my mother continues. “But I just wanted you to know so you can be on the lookout for anything odd, seeing as how the two of you are sharing an apartment now.”
“Thank you,” I say. My voice sounds stiff and low like a zombie.
“When you live with a man, you have to be on your guard about certain things.” She leans in closer. “So, he didn’t have anything to do with your break-up?”
“No,” I lie. My eyes flick in his direction. I catch him looking at me and he flashes a quick smile.
“Good,” she says. “But if he does do something, let me know. I don’t want anything to ruin this family.”
I open my lips to speak, but no words come out. It feels as if a black hole opened in my core and has begun sucking all life out of my body.
“Let’s catch up with them,” my mother says. “Mama found a new end table and needs some heavy lifters.”
She walks off in their direction, leaving me all alone. I linger for a moment, my gaze frozen on an ugly lime green throw pillow.
Ruin this family.
She said it out loud. My worst fear come to pass. The long, sleepless nights lately suddenly feel vindicated. The calm is over.
Here comes the storm.
Chapter 3
“Thank god that’s over with…”
Seth closes the door behind us and makes his way into the kitchen.
“I need a beer,” he says. “Do you want one?”
“No, thanks,” I say. I lay my jacket across the back of a chair at the table and sit down. Another wave of nausea passes through me as I try to make myself comfortable. Ever since that talk with my mother, I haven’t been able to relax.
I don’t want anything to ruin this family.
I can’t get it out of my mind. It’s just the way she said it, like there was no other alternative. The love that Seth has for me will ruin this family. The love I feel for him will ruin this family. I couldn’t bring myself to tell her that the perfect picture she has in her mind of our family was already ruined.
“Mina!”
I snap my neck up to find Seth staring down at me. “What?”
/>
“I said, ‘Are you okay?’”
“Oh… I’m sorry,” I say. “I’m just… I’m fine.”
“You don’t look fine,” Seth says. He sits down at the table in the seat across from me. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” I say quickly.
“Mina, come on,” he says.
“I’m just tired,” I say.
He pauses for a moment, his eyes studying my face. “You barely said a word at dinner.”
“I didn’t have much to say.”
“Are you mad that we lied to them?” he asks.
“Kind of…” I say. “But it’s what needed to be done.”
He nods. “They don’t need to know about us yet.”
“Well…” I take a deep breath. “They kind of already do, don’t they?”
Seth sits back in his chair. “What do you mean?” he asks.
“Mom told me that she and your dad caught you…”
He stares at me and I can see the memory passing over his eyes. “Fuck,” he says.
“It feels a little weird being the last to know about this…”
“I am so sorry you found out through her,” Seth whispers.
“It’s fine,” I assure him with a smile. “I honestly don’t care about that.”
“Why did she even bring it up?”
“She kept asking questions about the break-up and if you had anything to do with it. When I asked why, she told me.” I lick my lips. “But then she said that she didn’t want anything to ruin this family…” I can feel tears boiling up in my eyes, but I hold it back the best I can.
“Nothing is ruining anything.” He leans forward and puts his hands over mine on the table.
“What the hell are we doing, Seth?” I ask. “We just jumped into this without even thinking it through.”
“I did think it through.”
“So you thought about what it would mean to our parents? How it would affect them?”
“Of course I did,” he says. “I knew they’d take it hard. Especially your mother.”
“Then why didn’t you stop?!” I ask. “
“Because this is my life. Not theirs. I love who I love.”
“So you just didn’t care?” I wipe away a tear as it races down my cheek.
“I care about you,” he says. “I don’t care if they think this is wrong. It’s right to me.”
“I wish I could feel the same way,” I say.
“What are you saying, Mina?”
“I’m saying…” I sit back and pull my hands out from under his. “That we should probably sleep in separate rooms tonight.”
I stand up from the table.
“Mina, come on—”
“No, Seth.” My eyes fall from his face. He looks so crushed. “I need to really think this through again.”
He sighs and lays his head in his hands. “Fine,” he says. “But for the record… I think they’d get over it.”
“We don’t know that.”
“And so what if they don’t?” Seth stands up. He towers above me, just like he always does. “You said it yourself, Mina. The world is a shitty place. But we can make it if we’re together.”
That night feels so long ago now. Has it really only been a few days?
“Maybe I was just being naive.”
“No, now you’re being naive,” he says. He steps closer to me and rests his hands on my cheeks. “You’re stronger than this. I know it.”
“It feels wrong to keep lying to them,” I argue.
“Then we tell them. You and me. Together.”
“Well, that doesn’t sound that good either,” I joke.
“Then we sleep on it,” he says with a smile. “In separate beds, if that’s what you want. But don’t make a decision tonight.”
“Okay,” I agree. “We’ll sleep on it.”
“Good girl,” he says. He leans down and kisses my forehead. “I love you, Mina. That’s how it’s always been and it’s never going to change.”
“Never?”
“Never.”
***
“Oh, fuck…” Seth whispers in the darkness. “Never stop riding me, Mina.”
I lean over his body with my arms holding me up against his chest and wonder how I ended up in his bed again. His hard manhood massages my insides over and over again as he bucks his hips to meet my grinding pelvis. My heat is on fire. Sweat drips off my brow onto his body. Moans spill off my lips. My muscles burn from fatigue.
I can’t get enough of him. Even after telling him that I wanted to separate for the night, I found myself sneaking into his room at three in the morning. The craving for his cock was stronger than ever before. Nothing was going to keep me from him, not even the doubt burrowing a whole through my brain.
“This body…” I hear him say. His hands climb my belly to cup my breasts. He gives them a firm squeeze. “Give it to me…”
“It’s yours…” I moan. “It’s always been yours…”
He grunts and sits up. With quick hands, he grips my legs and moves them around his waist. I continue bouncing on him as he embraces me closer. I can see the dark details of his face now. His eyes look into mine, blind passions taking hold of us both.
“You love me,” he says. He keeps a firm grip on my body, moving me on his thick crown. “I know it. I can feel it.”
“Yes!” I cry.
His heaving breaths glide across my skin. My body tingles in his grasp. I feel exhaustion taking hold of me and I lean against him. His lips find mine and we trade off kisses as my slit swells even more.
“Turn around,” he says.
I collapse off his body and roll over onto my knees. My thoughts scatter into a thousand pieces as he positions himself behind me. He wastes no time penetrating me again. I grab a pillow and force it against my lips to keep from screaming too loudly.
“You’re going to make me come,” he moans. “You’re so tight.”
He pushes forward and lays me down on my belly, keeping his firm shaft between my folds. His angle hits me just right and I continue moaning into the pillow. I quiver and tremble as his lips graze my sensitive back.
“Come,” I whisper. I turn my face around to look at him over my shoulder. “I want you to.”
Seth kisses me quickly. His lips vibrate as our moans blend together. His teeth grab the flesh of my shoulder and he moans my name as he pumps his warm spray into our latex barrier. I come along with him. My inner muscles pull at him, milking his rod for every drop of his desire.
He rolls over next to me and we breathe heavily together in the darkness. Neither one of us speak. I honestly can’t process how to communicate at all. Before I came into the bedroom, I wondered if I would regret going to him. I hoped I wouldn’t. But I feared that I would.
I fall asleep before I can think of an answer.
Chapter 4
“You know, Mom, you really didn’t have to do this.”
I stand in the living room and watch as two very large men carry a brand new couch into the living room.
“Well, I don’t want my kids living like hobos with bean bag chairs and lawn furniture,” my mother says. She points a finger at the wall across from the television. “Right there would be fine, I think. What do you think, Mina?”
“Against the wall is fine,” I say to the men. They nod in acknowledgment and put the couch down where my mother told them to. I let my mug hover beneath my nose and I inhale the scent of chamomile before taking a warm sip.
“Are you feeling all right, Mina?”
“I’m fine,” I say. “Think I’m getting a little touch of flu though.”
My mother walks over to put her hand against my forehead. “You don’t feel warm.”
“Just a bug, Mom.” I take another drink of tea as she directs the movers out the door. “I’ll be fine.”
“Where’s Seth today?” she asks.
I shrug my shoulders. “Don’t know. I think he had a class or work or something.”
&nb
sp; “Well, I hope he doesn’t mind the color.” Mom swipes a hand across the arm of the couch.
“He’s a college guy, Mom. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t care what it looks like as long as it’s comfortable.”
“Too true, too true.” She pauses for a moment. “So, have you noticed anything… you know… with him since we last spoke?”
I think back to that day in the furniture store. It was a little over two weeks ago. “No,” I say.
“So, you two aren’t…” Her words linger into the air.
I blink. “Aren’t… what?” I ask.
“Oh, never mind, Mina,” she says. “I’m just being silly.”
“Mom, do you think Seth and I are… together?” I try to sell it as being ridiculous, but on the inside, I’m freaking out.
She throws up her hands. “I don’t know. Maybe. Are you?”
I pause for a little too long. My lips tremble as I try to speak.
“Wait—” She holds up a hand. “Honestly, I don’t want to know…”
“No. We’re not together, Mom,” I say.
I’m not lying. We were together before. But we aren’t now. It pains me to think about it, but it’s on my mind twenty-four hours a day. It takes every piece of willpower I have not to kiss him goodnight.
“Well, that’s a relief.”
I force a smile.
She swings her large purse over her shoulder and lingers next to me by the door. “Maybe you should take a few days off from your classes,” she says as she feels my forehead again. “Go back when you feel better.”
“Maybe,” I say. “Thanks again for the couch.”
“Thank your stepfather — I used his credit card.” My mother chuckles at her own joke. “Love you, honey. Tell Seth I love him, too.”
“I will,” I say as I close the door behind her.
Once she’s gone, I make myself comfortable on the new couch. It’s bouncy, but firm. A nice, perfect addition to the apartment.
I prop my feet up on the coffee table and lean back to watch a talk show as the door opens again.
“Hey,” I greet him as he walks inside.
“Hey—” Seth says. He pauses briefly to look up at the new couch.
“Mom just dropped it off,” I tell him.
Stepbrother: Moving In/Moving Out Page 5