by Meg Ripley
“Whoa, man, you look worse than me.” Ezra strolled out of the ranger station as we pulled up.
“I’ve never seen him so quiet,” Zack said. “He must be very worried about this bird.”
Zack smirked at me and disappeared inside the station.
Ezra gave me a questioning look. “Did you see a ghost out there or what?”
“Something like that,” I said, walking past him into the building.
Luckily, Zack had been in his right mind as we headed back, and he’d called the vet to meet us. Now, I carried the bird into the exam room and held it while the vet did his thing. I sense the animal’s distress and did my best to calm it, but I was more than distracted.
Our four years together played through my mind, followed by the four years without her. Hardly a comparison. After the vet got the bird’s leg fixed up, I sat in my office, trying to work, but the words on the reports didn’t make any sense. I read the same page over and over, but finally stopped, setting the papers down and heading to the window, looking out over my view of the park.
Ezra came in and perched on the edge of my desk, as he often did. This was why he was my second: he knew me too well. Any time I acted out of character, he was immediately on alert.
“So, it’s quiet right now,” Ezra said. “I think everyone is out doing the day job thing. How about a short run?”
He knew he’d be able to read me more easily when we were in bear form. Our thoughts would be linked, but it was more than that. Just like I could sense other animals, even while in my human state, I could sense my clan even better when we were all in bear form. I wouldn’t have to tell Ezra how I was feeling, he would feel it.
But I could have used a run; I thought it might help distract me. “Yeah,” I said. “Get in the small cat.”
I let Rachel know we were heading out on patrol, then slid into the seat beside Ezra. We drove to a spot out of the way where we could leave the UV, parked and stripped down on either side of the vehicle, roaring loudly as we changed. I stood tall on my furry legs and stretched, then bounded through the woods, the wind rustling through my coat.
I don’t usually have to drag things out of you, Alpha, Ezra signaled to me. What’s going on?
There was little point in trying to change the subject or deny it. When my mind was so full of her, it’d slip even if I tried not to think about her. Better to just get it out.
I saw an ex-girlfriend today.
Ouch. Bummer. Did she break your heart?
I almost laughed. How I wished that were true. ‘Fraid not. I broke hers.
Oooh, even worse. She just won’t stay gone, eh?
Nothing like that. I never wanted to end things with her. I was crazy about that girl.
Ezra didn’t respond right away. He jumped through the trees, bouncing with too much energy. He was worse than a cub with his exuberance. But when he spoke again through our mind link, his words were full of maturity.
You’re still crazy about her. What happened? Why’d you break up?
I didn’t have a choice. Thinking back to that time still made me ache. I had no idea how hard it had been for Addie; I hadn’t talked to her after I ended things. But I had been a wreck for weeks. So much, that my mother pleaded with my father, but he wouldn’t relent. And he couldn’t. I knew that, and it made everything worse.
When I came of age, my parents stepped in, I replied. They’d didn’t mind who I dated in high school. They always liked Addie. But she’s not a shifter.
Ohhhh. Sadness colored Ezra’s thoughts. He got it.
Yeah. So, I hit eighteen and was about to graduate college. They sat me down to have the talk. Shifter responsibilities. What we have to do for our clan, all of that. And, Addie. They told me it was better to end things. They said I could go to school further away and frame that as the reason. It was normal, they said. High school couples often broke up when they went to college. They thought that if we had no future together, there was no reason to keep dating. And they were right. I wanted to marry her. I would have. But that’s not how shifter life works. At least, in our clan.
I know this too well, my friend.
You’re not bound in the same way I am.
If I want to remain your second, I am.
The rule about marrying a shifter only actually applied to the Alpha of our clan. When my dad stepped down and I took over, that meant taking on everything that came with the duties of an Alpha, including the marriage rule. No one else technically had to follow this rule; marrying a non-shifter was perfectly acceptable, unless you were the Alpha. Or, in Ezra’s case, a second who actually took the job seriously enough that he held himself to the same standards.
He could marry a non-shifter, but that would create a problem. In the event I could no longer lead, he’d have to become Alpha, and he couldn’t if he’d married a non-shifter.
The rules made sense. An Alpha had to keep his blood pure and needed to be connected to shifters and his clan in all ways possible. A spouse outside of the clan would be a distraction to a leader. But it wasn’t an easy decision. I’d almost considered giving up the Alpha position just so I could marry her. I’d almost considered leaving the clan since not all clans had rules like ours. Most didn’t care if the bloodline was mixed. But some great, great, great, great grandfather of mine decided our clan would live a more pure life, so the rule had been created, and we all had to live with it.
I must’ve let my memories drift too far into my thoughts; Ezra heard.
This is serious, then. I can’t believe you almost gave up Alpha and the clan for this girl!
She’s far from a girl now. I tried not to picture her too hard. Ezra would see, and the lust flooding my veins wasn’t something he needed to witness.
You need a hot piece of tail to take your mind off this human girl.
Right. Like that would happen anytime soon. Seeing her brought all these thoughts and feelings rushing back. It had taken me a long time to get to the point where I didn’t ache for her constantly; I didn’t want these feelings to return.
This is why you’ve never seriously dated? Ezra wondered. You never got over Addie?
That’s why. I put everything into my work and my role as Alpha.
The right female will change everything. What about Hailey? I think she likes you.
She does. She’d been pretty obvious in her flirting. Hailey was beautiful and a really sweet woman. I probably should date her. At least see if anything was there. But how could I when my heart was so stuck on Addie? It wouldn’t be fair to Hailey.
She’s a cool chick. You should give it a shot.
Maybe someday.
Man, you’ve got it bad. Maybe go talk to this Addie and see how much she’s changed. Maybe it’ll kill your feelings for her. You’ve probably built her up in your memories and the real deal doesn’t hold up anymore.
Yeah. Maybe.
But I didn’t think that was true. Unless she’d become a totally different person in college, there wasn’t a bar that could be raised high enough to match what Addie had been to me.
Well, facts are facts, man. Unless you’re still thinking of giving up Alpha, nothing has changed. You can’t be with her. So, let’s find a way to move you on.
Thanks. I appreciated his concern, I just didn’t think it would work. I’d been trying to get over Addie for four years. The guilt was still there for how I’d ended things between us. The pain of missing her was still there. It had moved to the background of my mind over the two years I spent in college. And as I threw myself into my work, I was able to go days without thinking about her too much.
It was always there, though. I’d see a happy family or couple walking through the park, and a little prick with her name on it would spike my heart. I avoided stores when Valentine’s Day was near, and every time July 20th came around, I wondered how she was spending her birthday.
If she’d found someone who would love her as much as I had.
We finished our run and h
eaded back to the ranger station. I checked the reservations and found that Addie would be there all week. Maybe I’d take some time off so I didn’t have to worry about running into her.
5
Addie
“How about a boat ride?” Julie asked. “We’d get to see lots of wildlife.”
I nodded. “Sounds good.”
“Ugh, come on, Addie. You can’t just bum around over this Owen dude. He ended things. It’s time to move on.”
“I’m not bumming over him, Emma,” I countered, getting a little defensive. It’d been a day since we’d run into Owen and I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him, but I thought I’d done a fairly decent job of hiding it.
“Then let’s go on this boat ride so you can prove it,” Emma replied.
“Sounds great.” I tried to sound enthusiastic, but probably failed.
By the time we arrived at the dock, I was feeling hopeful. I had my camera in tow, ready to photograph every animal and interesting plant I came across. This is why we came here, I reminded myself. To spend time in nature and unwind after graduation. Not to spend the week being hung up on ex-boyfriends from high school.
I’d spent enough time grieving over Owen. This time was for me.
We waited with a small group for the boat to be ready. Water lapped against the dock, and the air was cooler here. A large fan was positioned at one end of the boat, then several benches of seats. I’d never ridden an airboat before and, judging by the headphones resting on each seat, it would be loud. Perfect for drowning out my thoughts and making me focus on what was ahead, not behind.
A man walked over to the waiting group. “Hello there, folks.” He waved to get everyone’s attention. “I’m Aiden and I’ll be your tour guide today. If you’ll make your way to the boat, we can go ahead and get started on our tour.”
He gestured toward the boat and the group started to trickle on. As we neared him, he smiled. “Hello, ladies.”
I smiled back. “Hello.”
He leaned close to me as I passed. “Be sure to grab a seat near the back. It’s the best.” He winked and continued greeting the other passengers.
When the three of us sat—near the back, though I honestly hadn’t been trying to sit there—Emma and Julie converged on me.
“He totally flirted with you!” Emma teased, giggling.
“He’s cute,” Julie whispered. “Maybe he could take your mind off Owen.”
I rolled my eyes and shushed them as Aiden took his place at the back of the boat, next to the large fan.
Aiden stood to address the crowd. “As we take our ride today, expect to see a nice sampling of the variety of wildlife the Everglades has to offer. We should see some gators, herons or ospreys, and maybe even a wild bull, believe it or not. Never know what’s around the corner in these parts.”
He smiled at me again as he took his seat. He dropped his voice to speak only to us. “If there’s anything you ladies want to see, you let me know, okay?”
Emma and Julie agreed happily. I just nodded. Maybe he was sort of flirting, but it was nothing I was going to get excited over. Sure, he was cute. Lots of guys were cute. If my attraction to Owen had been purely physical, maybe that would have been enough to distract me. It was so much more than looks, though.
The large fan started up and we all placed our headphones over our ears. It was loud, but Aiden paused the boat every once in a while to explain what we were seeing or tell us something about the body of water we were riding through. He got very excited when we came across a baby alligator.
“It’s very rare to see a baby out sunning like that,” he said, pointing. Everyone took numerous photos and exclaimed over the sight. “I see a baby like that maybe once in a hundred rides. You folks must be very lucky.” He leaned closer to us and smiled at me once more. “Or maybe I’m just the lucky one.”
My face warmed and I tried to ignore it. I snapped photos and let my touristy side take over. I wasn’t here to flirt or be flirted with. I was here for taking in the sights and to spend time with my friends. That was it. I turned away from the guide back toward the front of the boat.
Unfortunately, he turned out to actually be funny. Several times as he was giving commentary, I found myself chuckling at his stories. I did like guys who could make me laugh.
The ride ended, and as we got off the boat, he watched us file off. Emma and Julie glanced back at him.
Emma sighed. “Bummer.”
“Yeah,” Julie agreed.
I was confused. “What?”
“I thought maybe he’d ask you out,” Emma confessed.
“Me, too,” Julie added.
We walked into the building and weaved our way through the gift shop. As we made our way along the aisles of items for sale, we paused now and then to look at some trinkets and souvenirs. Emma bought three postcards and stamps.
“Here.” She handed us each a postcard as we stepped out of the gift shop into the bright sun. “We’ll send these to someone so we can feel like we’re really on vacation.”
“We are really on vacation,” I said.
“Then why haven’t I been drunk yet?” Emma asked.
I rolled my eyes. “Because enjoying nature is more interesting.”
“What if you could have both?”
The three of us turned at the sound of the male voice. Just outside the gift shop, Aiden leaned against the railing. Had he been waiting for us? “There’s a place out in the woods that friends of mine own. They’re having a party tonight. Plenty of wild animals. Plenty of beer.” He raised an eyebrow and looked at me expectantly.
I pressed my lips together. “I’m sure you’ll have a good time.”
“I’d have a much better time if you joined me.”
My eyes widened and I felt heat rush up my neck. When Emma had said something about him asking me out, I’d been relieved that he hadn’t. So much for that.
“Oh, I, umm… am on vacation,” I said. “With my friends. We’re doing things together this week.”
“Even better. Bring them along.”
I glanced over at them, which was a mistake. Both of them were pleading with me. Pleading to say yes. We hadn’t been out yet. Of course, it had only been one night so far, but they were itching to let loose, and I didn’t want to stop them.
“Okay,” I said. “The three of us will meet you there.”
“Excellent.” He handed his phone to me. “Why don’t you save your number in my phone and I’ll text you the address.”
I took the phone reluctantly. I didn’t like giving out my number to someone I barely knew, but I guessed I could just block him if I had to. I saved my number and handed the phone back.
“Addie,” I told him.
“So glad to be your tour guide today. I look forward to seeing you tonight, Addie.” He nodded at us, smiled and turned away as he headed back into the building.
Emma and Julie squealed as we walked away.
“Thank you! Thank you!” Emma said. “Party in the woods, woot!”
“Awesome,” Julie said. “And, this will be perfect. We’ll get there, find your man, and conveniently disappear.”
“No! You will not leave me alone with him!” I demanded.
“He asked you out, remember?” Emma said. “He let us come along.”
“That’s because I would have said no,” I insisted. “I’m not going out alone here with some guy I don’t even know.”
“That’s how you get to know people,” Julie said. “How will you ever meet someone if you don’t ever go on dates?”
I shrugged. “I haven’t been too worried about it.”
“Right,” Julie said. “Owen? Still?”
“And Sam,” I added, getting a little defensive. “Owen broke my heart, but Sam confused me. I have no desire to be in any sort of relationship right now.”
Julie frowned. “You’re going to give him a chance, aren’t you?”
“He is cute!” Emma gushed. “And he’s fu
nny. That was a good tour.”
“It was,” Julie agreed.
“Just give him a chance,” Emma begged. “If it doesn’t go anywhere, then it doesn’t. But you won’t know unless you get to know him a little.”
“Just talk to him,” Julie added. “And drink a beer or two while you’re at it.”
I rolled my eyes. “We’re going, aren’t we? I told him we’d go, so we’ll go. And I will talk to him, but I’m not going to be off alone all night. I’m going to spend time with you guys, too.”
“We’ll be with you all week,” Emma said. “Talk to him. Maybe have a make out session.” She made a kissy face.
“No,” I narrowed my eyes. “Not on the agenda.”
“Keep your mind open,” Julie said. “No expectations. No assumptions.”
Emma laughed, pulling the car door open. “You never know; he could be the one.”
I shook my head as I climbed into the backseat. “I highly doubt it.”
“You won’t know unless you give him a chance,” Julie pointed out.
“Fine. One chance,” I said. “I’ll talk to him. Didn’t I already agree to that anyway? Give me a break, guys!”
“But we want you to take it seriously,” Julie said.
“I take it very seriously. I will have a serious conversation with the cute airboat tour guide. Then I will seriously move on with my life.”
“Unless you like him,” Emma chirped.
“If he turns out to be the man of my dreams, you can both remind me that I was wrong every day of my happily ever after.”
6
Addie
I hadn’t packed much for going out. I thought we’d be hiking around the area and camping. Silly me; I should have known better. Emma and Julie had plenty of cute outfits with them, so they kindly helped me supplement. A top from Emma and cute, strappy sandals from Julie and we were on our way.
Aiden had texted me the address, as promised. When we looked it up, the place was about a half hour away. So much for getting away if we were just going to head halfway back to Miami. But I said nothing and rode along, knowing that if nothing else, they were happy we were going out.