by Meg Ripley
I threw myself forward, toward the ground. Before my hands landed palms down in the dirt, everything changed. My spine expanded, my limbs twisted, hair sprouted, and I stood tall, not roaring, though I wanted to. I didn’t want to wake my friends or scare anyone.
And I was most definitely scary in bear form.
I leapt at Aiden. My hind feet hadn’t hit the ground yet by the time he shifted. A dirty croc; I’d missed the scent. I must’ve attributed it to him always being on the boat and around all sorts of water animals. I was so new to this life, and much of it overwhelmed me. I thought I was better at recognizing fellow shifters, and I knew the members of my clan well, but when it came to other shifters, especially of another species, I’d missed it.
Aiden probably hadn’t, though. He must’ve known from the start that I was a shifter. That’s why he’d chosen me over my friends. He could sense the animal in me.
I spun and swatted at Aiden. No time to regret my lack of skills now; there was a fight. I didn’t know what it was about, but I wasn’t about to let Owen get injured by these crocs or because of me. He knew nothing of this life. I might have just endangered him by shifting in front of him. At least Aiden had, too. It wasn’t only on me.
Aiden ducked my swat and his tail came flying around him, whacking me in the side with a hard thump, and I let out a whimper. Behind me, a sudden, mighty roar rent the air.
My head snapped to the bear standing behind me; the bear that had been where Owen was a moment before. For a wild instant, I thought the bear had attacked Owen. He was nowhere in sight. Then, I took a long sniff in his direction.
No. My mind seized and my body froze. Owen. Owen was the bear. The bear was Owen. Owen was…a shifter? Like me? We were both bears?
It took me too long to recover. In my shock, Aiden jumped on me. I felt his hard scales pressing against me, his teeth at my neck. I stood, and my height alone gave me an advantage against the smaller creature. With my claws extended, I swatted and caught his underbelly. Owen jumped at him, knocking him off me, and Aiden landed with a whine.
But he wasn’t the only croc attacking. The others converged, snapping their jaws and swatting their tails. Owen moved in front of me, protecting me. I wanted to cry, but I turned my back to him, pressed against him, and faced the danger from behind. Back to back, we fought.
I swatted at a croc who advanced. I heard Owen whimper and gashed my claws across the croc’s side. The croc let his jaw open and tried to bite Owen’s foot instead. I reached to claw the croc again and felt teeth at my own foot.
Then I heard two screams. Emma and Julie were awake.
After the screams, I heard roars. I allowed one second’s look away from the fight and saw a group of bears bounding toward us.
Owen stood tall and pounded his chest, and the bears immediately fell in line around us, forming a circle with me at the center.
I felt helpless watching them. I tried to move to the edge to help, but each time, a bear moved me back. They fought hard, and all the while, I kept my eyes on Owen. Even if they wouldn’t let me fight, I wasn’t going to just sit back and watch. I fought my protectors, punching through their legs and reaching past them to claw a croc.
Owen still fought Aiden. Right then, Aiden’s scent was clear as day to me, and I kept my gaze on him. Owen had injured him; I saw him bleeding and he began to limp. But Owen had been injured, too, bleeding from a wound on his back.
I didn’t hear any more screaming, and I hoped that Emma and Julie were okay. I couldn’t get to them, nor could I see them. Their scent lingered in the air. I didn’t pick up a hint of extreme fear or sweat, like they were running or fighting, but I didn’t know for certain if they were okay.
I let out a small whine and craned my head toward them, trying to see. I didn’t know how to communicate with bears like this. My clan was linked through thought when we shifted. But I couldn’t hear Owen or his friends.
I hoped they would understand what I wanted. When I made a move to try to break out of my circle of protection, to go to my friends, they blocked my way.
I heard Emma call my name; she sounded terrified. Owen and I both looked in her direction when she called for me, and it was just enough for Aiden to pounce and get his teeth on Owen’s neck.
The rage in me lit up. Not this asshole; he wasn’t going to kill the man I loved. I jumped more highly than I’d ever jumped in my life, sailing over Owen’s shoulder. I knocked him down with me as I hit the ground.
The three of us landed in a heap and I brought my claws down hard. I swiped a gash in Aiden’s stomach and he let go of his hold on Owen. I could have let it go at that, but I didn’t. I let loose, slashing and clawing at Aiden until he stopped moving.
I put my head near his; I couldn’t tell if it was just my heavy breathing or if he still lived. I wanted certainty, so I drove my claws into his chest and pulled down, tearing him open. When I moved back, my paws covered in croc blood, he was still.
The crocs around me chomped. Owen picked up Aiden’s lifeless body with one paw and held it high, and the bears roared together and lunged. A split second later, the crocs took off running.
As they ran, the bears chased them, but Owen stepped in front of me to stop me from following them. I looked back and saw that we were alone.
“Addie? Where are you?” Julie sounded as scared as Emma had.
I whined again and lurched toward them. Owen stepped in front of me again, running his nose along my neck and nuzzled into me. He circled me, sniffing. Where he found blood, he licked the wound clean. Then, he started licking me all over. From head to paws, he groomed me.
I stood very still, the shock of the event washing over me as I forced my brain to catch up and realize what was going on. Owen, in bear form, was grooming me, in bear form. It was unreal.
I put my head down into my paws; I needed the forest to stop spinning around me. I stumbled over to a tree and threw up for the first time in bear form. Although it was less violent and disgusting than doing so as a human, it was still a strange sensation.
Owen put his bear arms around me and pulled me close to him, his hair enveloping me in warmth. It was even better than a human hug with sharp joints and smooth skin. This was like falling into a huge, cuddly teddy bear of warmth and happiness, and I let my eyes close and didn’t move.
13
Owen
Got him!
Over here!
One more down.
I listened to their fight from a distance. They were doing fine; they didn’t need me. More than that, they knew better. They knew I wouldn’t leave Addie.
They’d all been there, linked to my mind the moment I’d seen it, and the shock crashed over me like a wave. They said plenty when it happened, but I didn’t hear a word of it. My ears were ringing.
When Addie shifted into a bear, my entire world turned upside down. Nothing was what it should have been; I was suddenly in a dream. I thought they’d killed me so quickly, my brain hadn’t caught up yet. I thought anything except that what I saw was real.
Ezra, thank god, had snapped me out of it. He’d said something like, “Dude, you’re an idiot.” The insult had made me see it. All this time, Addie had been a shifter and I hadn’t known? Yeah, I was most definitely an idiot.
As the fight moved and I was left there alone with Addie, the thoughts started to sort themselves out in my mind. How in the world could I have missed this? I took a long sniff of her. Usually, I could tell in an instant when another shifter was near. No matter if it was one of my clan, another bear, or any other shifter species. There was a certain scent that came with shifters. A sort of animal smell, but different: clean and subtler than a wild animal.
Addie’s scent was too familiar; that was the only thing that made sense to me. When I’d first become old enough to shift for the first time, when I’d learned about the shifter life and all that came with it, when I trained and learned what smells were what…all of that had happened when I was already wit
h Addie. Whatever scent she had was something my nose had bypassed. Her deep spice was more like the smell of love to me. The scent of…my mate.
When we’d had sex in the past and the animal was stronger in the air from our sweat, I’d always thought it was me. God, I’d been so stupid. I was too new at it all to pick up the difference in the smell. I’d been too embarrassed, rushing to put on deodorant or take a shower, that I’d never stopped to really smell the scent and learn it and recognize it.
Even after spending so much time apart, she smelled the same to me when I saw her again. That hint of animal that I picked up on her, I’d mistaken for pure lust. Nothing more. I almost laughed at myself, thinking back on it. I thought she wanted me so badly that her lust smelled that attractive to me.
I sniffed every inch of her now, programming my mind to associate this scent I knew so well with a bear. To relearn what I knew of her body. When I put my nose to her neck and inhaled, at first, my bear brain said, “Want.” My body reacted in a lustful way. It was no wonder I’d thought that was all it was. But I forced myself to look at her, to feel her hair, and to keep smelling until my brain corrected itself.
Now, I smelled her sweat. Her bear sweat on her bear skin under her bear hair. And her human was there, underneath it, taking the more subtle place while in this form. I smelled the blood and dirt and cleaned her. I sniffed until I knew every inch of her in this way.
It’s over, Ezra reported. They all took off.
My clan returned to where we sat.
Emma and Julie are fine. I’d had Hailey watching them the whole time. Freaked out about the bears and because they can’t find Addie, but they’re unharmed.
Thank you, all, I said. I…
We know. Ezra sent a wave of warm thoughts to me.
They were all happy, but surprised, to say the least. Everyone was still charged from the fight, but we’d won. The crocs had taken off and none of my guys had been injured too badly; the only one dead was Aiden. The conclave would get a full report and there would be an investigation. There was much to be done, but I wasn’t going to be a part of any of it.
Let me know if you need me. I’ll…be a while.
One by one, they sent me their congratulations. They’d witnessed too much of my despair over the last week to not understand what this moment meant to me.
I shifted back to human form slowly. For a moment, I held Addie, still in bear form, and then she shifted back, awkwardly sitting in my lap. We were both naked.
I pulled her close and hugged her tightly, letting the tears flow down my cheeks. The complete relief of it all washed over me and I kissed her. I kissed her and didn’t want to ever stop.
I was vaguely aware of the bears leaving. Not long after I shifted back, they started to drop off, returning home and back to whatever they were doing before I’d called them.
She cried, too and returned my kiss.
“Your friends are worried about you,” I said after a long while.
I hadn’t let her go to them before. It wasn’t safe, but now, they needed to know their friend was alright. If for no other reason than if they called the ranger station, someone would come out, and things would get complicated.
“My clothes…” She’d torn everything when she shifted.
“They don’t know?”
She shook her head.
“Give me a minute.” I shifted back and called to Hailey in my mind, who responded quickly, so I shifted back and waited. A few minutes later, Hailey came walking out of the woods, a tote bag between her jaws. She dropped the bag and took off running back into the woods.
“It’s convenient having a clan near you,” Addie said, pulling the clothing over her human form.
I had so many questions. So much to say. “Addie.” I reached up to take her hand. “I love you.”
She smiled and got to her feet. “I’ll be right back.”
I sat naked in the dark for a long time, alone with my thoughts and feelings. I’d lost track of how long she was gone for, but when I heard rustling and smelled her—that scent that was more real to me now than my own—a smile took over my face and my heart flooded with joy.
14
Addie
Julie and Emma were in a state when I found them. They’d seen animals all around and couldn’t find me. They knew I’d gone out into the night to see what was out there.
“We thought you were eaten by a bear!” Emma exclaimed.
“I’m fine. I’m sorry you were worried.”
“You could have at least said you were going to find someone,” Julie said.
“I thought you were still sleeping. I wasn’t going to wake you up just to tell you I was going to call the ranger.”
“Well, leave a note next time!” Emma snapped.
“Or at least take your phone.” Julie held my cell out to me. “Why didn’t you just call the ranger?”
I shrugged. “I was half asleep and saw a croc. I didn’t think much about it and just ran. I guess I thought it would come at me?”
I tried to get them settled as quickly as possible. All I could think about was Owen alone in the woods, naked, waiting for me. Finally, I decided to play the one card they wouldn’t argue with.
“The thing is,” I said. “I wanted an excuse to find Owen. And I found him. He wants to talk.”
They looked at me with surprise.
“Where is he?” Julie asked.
“Back at the station. He had to make some calls or something. But he asked me to come back to talk to him.”
“You sure that’s a good idea after the last talk you had?” Julie arched an eyebrow.
“I don’t know,” I admitted. “Maybe it was because of that that he wants to talk.”
“Well, give me the full report in the morning.” Emma slid down into her sleeping bag. “I’m not waiting up.”
Julie slid back into her bag, too. “Take your phone this time. Please. Call if anything happens. I don’t want to wake up and find you dead because you got mauled in the night by bears or crocs or any other animal out there.”
“I will.” I made a show of putting my phone in one pocket and my knife in another. “I’ll be with a ranger. There’s not much better protection than that.”
A ranger who also happened to be a bear shifter.
As I exited the tent, I pulled my blanket out with me; better than sitting on the cold ground naked. If I had any clothes that would fit him, I’d bring them, but he was far too muscular for my shirts or close-fitting sweatpants.
I walked back to where I’d left him in the dark, spread out the blanket, then sat. He crawled onto it to join me.
“Sorry about this.” He gestured to his nakedness.
“That’s something you should never apologize for.”
He chuckled. “It’s just awkward. I feel exposed.”
I picked up the end of the blanket and covered him as much as possible. He pulled me back into his lap. Now I felt a little awkward. I was dressed, though not in my clothes, and he had only the blanket.
“So, Owen,” I said in a forced conversational tone. “I may not have told you, since I’m bound by secret and all—but I’m a shifter. I can turn into a bear at will or in the full moonlight. What hobbies and interests do you have?”
We both laughed and he shook his head. “How is this possible?”
“I’ve been asking myself that question since the first time I shifted.”
“When? How? I mean…I had no idea. And that’s absurd. I’m an Alpha, for god’s sake. I’m such an idiot.”
“Ha,” I said. “You think you’re an idiot? I was a shifter for twenty years and didn’t even know it!”
“What do you mean?”
“My parents? They’re not actually my parents.”
He sucked in a breath.
“You remember how I’d always say I felt like I didn’t belong in my family? There was a reason for that. I was adopted. My parents are actually distant relatives of mine. My real parent
s died when I was just a baby, and they were both shifters. But my second cousin, who raised me as her daughter, was not a shifter and knew nothing about it. I was obviously a late bloomer, and I was in college the first time it happened. There was a party, kind of like the one Aiden invited us to. Outside, you know? And it was the night of the full moon.”
“Ohh,” Owen said.
“Yeah.” I laughed. “So, we were at this party and it was in the woods. It would have been fine if I’d known I was a shifter at the time since there was lots of cover, but I didn’t; it was the first change since my birth shift. When I stepped into the moonlight, I felt the pull. And let me just say that from what I’ve heard from others, shifting for the first time under full moonlight is not the best way to go about it.”
“I’d say not.”
“Now, I’ve shifted enough that it doesn’t hurt me. But you remember those first shifts?”
“I was just a kid when I began to change. It was hard the whole first year, but when I started shifting regularly, yeah, it wasn’t so bad anymore. I’m surprised you didn’t shift by accident while you were growing up, though. That happens fairly often during times of extreme emotional distress.”
“Well, I wasn’t old enough to remember losing my parents. So, that night, I obviously didn’t know what was happening. I thought I was sick or had been drugged; at a party like that, it wasn’t the craziest thought. Being drugged seemed much more feasible than the fact that I was turning into a freaking bear. So, I kinda flipped out. I thought I was hallucinating. I started running, and I ran far. Luckily, another bear had witnessed the whole thing go down and followed me. When he realized what was happening, he stayed with me and got me calmed enough to shift back when the morning came.
“He was an Alpha. I joined his pack and he and his wife looked out for me. They were like my shifter adopted parents, teaching me everything. It was a hard time. Luckily, the guy I was dating had broken up with me just days before that, so I used heartbreak as an excuse to be hiding out all the time. I was lonely, but my new pack helped a lot. Only problem was, they all lived about an hour and a half away, on the western side of the state.”