by Lisa Lace
“Don’t ‘honey’ me, Cole. Just go.”
“There’s been a shooting.”
“Uh-huh.”
“I can be there in ten minutes.”
“Great. You might get to see the body. Wouldn’t want to miss a corpse on your parents-in-law’s wedding anniversary.”
“Come on, Soph. We’re in this together.”
I glare at him. “Yes. We are.”
“I’m sorry, babe. I don’t have time to argue.” He leans in to kiss me, and I turn my face away. His kiss lands on my cheek. He sighs. “I’ll see you at home tonight.”
“I think I’ll just stay here.”
“Tomorrow, then. I love you.”
“Yeah.”
He leaves. I want to cry, but it would spoil my parents’ special night, so I don’t let anyone know how broken up I am to be abandoned—again.
Deep down, I already know this isn’t working, and we’ve only been married for five weeks. I look around at all the faces in the room, imagining each of those relatives just waiting to say, “I told you so.”
When people start to ask where Cole is, I gush and sing his praises, telling everyone who listens how hard my new husband works, and how talented he is.
The truth is, I don’t care a bit about how talented or hard-working he is. I just want him here.
Eventually, I pull myself up out of bed. I don’t even have any pajamas with me, so I borrow one of Cole’s T-shirts while I make some coffee and roam around the apartment. The smell of his fabric conditioner has already become familiar. I miss him already. It felt so good to be in his arms again.
I pour a mug of coffee and wrap my arms around myself, pacing around the apartment. I stare at those photographs and newspaper front pages on his living room wall. It’s easy to see how talented Cole is, and I feel terrible that he’s lost his dream, but when my eyes settle on the picture of Haiti, I shudder.
I’m glad he’s away from all that. Even if Cole isn’t with me now, at least he’s somewhere safe. I can’t imagine that uptown wedding venue collapsing on him.
Walking around the apartment, my eyes are drawn to a photo album on the bottom shelf of a bookcase in his hall. Cole’s photographs are usually on display somewhere prominent, so I’m curious as to what’s inside his private stash of pictures.
I carry the album into the living room and sit with it on my lap. I open it and smile to see the first few pictures. These haven’t been taken by Cole—they show him as a young child. The pictures are blurry, out of focus, and tinted orange with age and old film, but Cole is smiling in them.
There he is in his little swimming trunks in front of a paddling pool. Another with him wrapped up in his mother’s arms, grinning widely. Poor Edith; she passed away too soon. I always liked Cole’s mom.
I flip through the pages, seeing Cole’s life in pictures. Now I’m taking a closer look, I recognize the album as one I’ve seen before, the first time I met Cole’s parents. Edith had insisted on showing them to me after we got married. She’d made me feel like family. A warm feeling spreads through me as I turn the pages. My heart stops when I get to the last three.
All the photos here are from our overseas adventures. Most of the pictures are of me. I remember the moments that Cole took them. There I am, standing under those pink trees.
When I woke this morning, I was doubtful that I could do this again; all the uncertainty of Cole’s work and being last priority. But now, looking at these photos, I remember why I first fell in love with him.
Maybe things really could be different.
Cole
We arrive at the venue with mere moments to spare. Dennis and I head to the trunk and unload the equipment. I sling my camera case and lens kit over my shoulder and position my tripod under my arm. Dennis grabs his camcorder, and we walk across the gravel parking lot, toward the stately home setting.
It’s meant to be an outdoor ceremony, but, looking skyward, the weather looks ominous.
“Looks like it’s going to rain.”
Dennis laughs. “Really? You were silent the whole way here, and that’s your opening line? Last time I saw you, you were running out of a diner to make a last-ditch attempt at true love. Any update on that whole situation?”
“I’ve never known a man to be quite as hungry for gossip as you, Dennis.”
“I live vicariously through you, my friend. The sad fact of the matter is you’ve got more going on than me. Got to talk about something, right? So, tell me. What happened?”
I smile. “It went well.”
“Well?”
“I think I have that second chance I was hoping for.”
“That’s great!”
“It is, but I know I need to tread carefully.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, we’ve been back together five minutes, and I’ve already walked out on her to head out with my camera. That’s ninety percent of the reason we went our separate ways in the first place.”
“What else are you supposed to do? A man’s got to work.”
“You’re right. I think Sophie will understand that, too. It’s simply crappy timing.”
“She came back to your place, then?” Dennis rolls his eyes. “Only you can go from a fencing match to the bedroom in twenty-four hours. But what else did I expect from the guy who married the girl he met abroad the second he got back home?”
“You know, I don’t regret it.”
“Even with how badly it went?”
“Not for a second. That woman was the adventure of a lifetime.”
White sands, blue skies, palm trees. It’s an idyllic scene that could have been taken from any vacation postcard—and it’s where our wedding ceremony is taking place.
Officially, this is not a legal marriage, but the ceremony marks our last adventure.
I proposed on our last night in Thailand, as the sun was setting. Sophie hadn’t hesitated a moment in her response. She threw her arms around my neck and let out a cry of joy. I set all this up as a final surprise for her before we head home and start our lives. We’ll tie the knot legally when we get there.
A wicker arch laced with white flowers has been constructed on the shore overlooking the ocean. The waves are calm, and the sand is soft. The smell of saltwater carries on the warm breeze, and the heat of the sun beats down on my skin.
I’m wearing white linen pants and a loose white cotton shirt. My feet are bare. I stand under the arch and wait for Sophie. I don’t feel nervous at all.
When I see her appear ten feet away in a flowing white maxi skirt and woven crop top, with her hair loose and flowing apart, from one carefully constructed braid, my stomach flips. Her feet are also bare, her skin tanned. She’s a natural beauty, and she’s walking toward me, ready to say “I do.”
“It ended for the wrong reasons,” I tell Dennis, “but I don’t believe she was the wrong person. I couldn’t offer her what she needed at the time, but our paths have come back together for a reason. I think we’re meant to walk the same road from here.”
Dennis slaps me on the back. “I’m happy for you. I hope it works out. If you guys decide to tie the knot again, you know where to find a videographer.”
Sophie
I hold up a cute floral dress for Lena’s approval. “What do you think of this one?”
“That’s quite the neckline. Someone you’re trying to impress?” She casts me a knowing glance.
I place the dress back on the rack and lean against it, looking down at the ground with a guilty smile. “Are you trying to ask me something?”
“You know damned well what I’m asking you, Sophie. Have you seen Cole again? You’ve got that cat that ate the cream look on your face. That’s your ‘I’ve been with Cole Tanner’ face, and it’s a look I haven’t seen in a while.”
I run my hands through a rail of midi-skirts to avoid looking at Lena. My sister has always been able to read me like a book, and I don’t want her to read my mind on this occasion, i
n case she guesses at exactly what Cole and I have been up to.
“As a matter of fact, I have seen him. We met for dinner.”
“Sophie!” Lena scolds. “What would make you want to see him again? It took you forever to get over him. Scrap that—you never got over him. You’re looking to get yourself hurt all over again.”
“This is why I didn’t tell you,” I retaliate. “You’re so judgmental.”
“I’m not judging you. I’m trying to protect you. You get completely blinkered when you’re around that guy. You let him suck you into his little world, yet your own life falls apart.”
“I was twenty-one when we got married. I’m thirty-one now. My eyes are a little more open than they were back then. I’ve been standing on my own two feet for the last decade. He’s not going to sweep me off them that easily.”
Lena shrugs. “You’re a grown woman, Sophie. It’s not my choice. But please, think about what you’re doing and if it’s worth it.”
“Things are different now. He’s changed. He’s grown up a lot. He’s actually taking responsibility for his mistakes. Plus, he’s not with the paper anymore. I don’t have to worry about him jetting off to some hellhole and getting himself blown to smithereens.” I pick up a pair of jeans, check the label, and place them back on the rack. “Did you know that a building collapsed on him in Haiti?”
“Jesus Christ. And to think, you were almost married to that man.”
“Excuse me? I was married to him.”
“I’m not counting it.”
I roll my eyes. “You guys were always so dismissive of the whole relationship.”
“Because we saw the problems coming a mile away. You two were young and caught up in the excitement of traveling the world together. He was the first guy you ever really fell for. You both had these big dreams, but nothing to tie them to. You were star-crossed lovers trying to mash together a married couple’s life.”
“You’re right,” I agree, “and that’s why we have a chance this time. We’ve both gone and done our own thing, and now we’ve found each other again. We can make it work.”
“Are you sure you’re not infatuated with the memory of him? I mean, you haven’t seen Cole in so long—can you really still say that there’s something between you? There can be no way you’re still the same people now.”
“We’ve both changed, but only in ways that will bring us closer together. He’s more stable, I’m less needy.”
“Are you?”
“Yes.”
“I’m not so sure. Cole calls, and you come running. That’s pretty needy.”
I frown at her. “I don’t think so. I’ve missed him, that’s all.”
“Is it really Cole you’ve missed though, or just, you know, being with a man in general? You haven’t really been with anybody, truly been with anybody, since you two split up. Everyone feels good when a handsome man makes them feel special. Cole doesn’t hold the monopoly on pushing women’s buttons.”
“I’m not completely helpless, Lena! I know the difference between feeling flattered and feeling—something else.”
Lena shrugs and casts me an affectionate smile. “Then I won’t say anything more about it. You’re a big girl.” She picks up a dress in my size and holds it up against me. “If you’re looking for something to make his jaw drop, go for this one. Low-cut doesn’t suit you. You’re classier than that.”
It’s a sleeveless chocolate-brown wraparound dress with a tie at the waist; not the sort of thing I’d have picked for myself, but Cole’s words ring in my head: You look sophisticated. Amazing.
The dress looks like something a sophisticated woman would wear. I accept it from Lena with a smile. “Thanks.”
“I’ll say one thing, Sophie. As much as I can’t stand Cole for how he treated you, it’s good to see you smiling again. You’re right. You’re a lot older and wiser now, and I trust your judgment. Maybe I'm too much of a cynic. I’d like to believe that sometimes fate gives us a second chance.”
“It means a lot to me for you to say that.”
“Do Mom and Dad know?”
I make a face. “Of course not.”
Lena laughs. “I think it would give Dad a heart attack. I’ve still got the pictures from the courthouse that day. Dad’s face is livid in every one. You can practically see the daggers he’s staring at Cole.”
“I remember!” I say. I put on my dad’s voice. “Are you nuts, Sophie? You’re twenty-one years old and haven’t even gotten a college education! What’s the rush? Where’s this guy going that you’ve got to tie him down so fast?”
“Sudan, apparently,” Lena quips.
“Oh, haha.”
“What would his parents say?”
“His mom has passed away now. I saw the obituary a few years back.”
“That’s a shame.”
“She was lovely. His dad is so nice. They had a completely different reaction to our parents. I think Cole probably got his impulsive nature from them.”
“At least that’s something. It always helps if family is on board.”
“It does.”
“When are you next seeing him?”
“I’m not sure, but I’m looking forward to it.”
Lena grins. “You look happy.” She rubs my shoulder. “Protect yourself, Sophie. That’s all I say.”
“I will.”
Lena doesn’t say much as she plaits braids into my hair. Still, I prefer her silence to Mom and Dad’s objections.
“You don’t have to go through with this,” Mom says for the hundredth time. “There’s plenty of time to get married.”
I clasp my necklace into place and stand up. I’m wearing a simple white dress that I bought at a prom shop. It’s nothing special, but I had to wear something.
“As far as I’m concerned, we’re already husband and wife,” I say. “Fiji was amazing.”
Mom purses her lips. “I’m sure it was, in the moment. Vacations can make us lose our inhibitions like that. The thing is, sweetheart, we’ve got to screw our heads back on once the vacation’s over.”
“This isn’t just some holiday romance,” I insist. “We love each other.”
“Then where’s the fire? If Cole loves you, he’ll be there for the long run. This all seems a little impulsive. You’ve had your Fiji ceremony. Isn’t that symbolic enough for now?”
“I want to be his wife.”
Mom pinches the bridge of her nose. I can see the tears welling in her eyes. “I simply don’t want you to do something you’ll regret.”
I turn to face her and take her hands in mine. “I know what I’m doing.”
She sniffs and nods, bowing her head so I won’t see her tears. “I’ll go find your father. We’ll see you there.”
Mom leaves the room. Lena finishes fixing my hair and then pulls me into a hug. “She’s worried about you, that’s all.”
“I don’t get why everybody hates Cole.”
“Nobody hates Cole. It’s all very sudden.”
“When you know, you know.”
“Even if I don’t agree with you, Soph, I admire your guts. The logical part of me wants to shake you and tell you to wait a damned minute, but the romantic in me thinks it’s kind of beautiful. Mom and Dad aren’t on board now, but however things go with Cole, you know we’ll always be right here. We love you.”
“I love you too.”
Cole
The place we meet for lunch is Sophie’s choice. It’s a quirky little coffee joint a couple of blocks away from her apartment. I’m not quite sure how to hold my giant purple-and-white polka dot mug with the tiny handle, and it doesn’t seem to quite sit in the saucer it came with, but Sophie’s in her element. She waves to the waitress as she enters and grins at the barista.
She’s wearing a woolen mini-skirt and a pink blouse, a Pandora bracelet wound around one wrist. Even in the simplest clothes, she stands out. She orders a caramel latte and sits beside me on a squidgy sofa. The place is so informal
that I’m not sure how to carry myself. I feel like a teenager on his first date.
Sophie is right at home. She falls back onto the sofa with a content “oomph” sound and smiles at me. “It’s good to see you again.”
“You too.”
She smells like vanilla. Her hair is freshly washed, falling softly around her face. It’s good to see her smile again. All the tension and uncertainty of a few days ago seems to have dissipated, and it’s almost like the past ten years never happened.
“I was surprised you called.”
Sophie tilts her head in surprise. “Really?”
“I felt bad that I had to leave on Saturday morning. I wanted to stay.”
She rests her hand reassuringly on my knee. “It’s okay, Cole. I know I’ve been cagey about your work in the past, but that was different. You had it scheduled long before we knew we’d be together that night.”
I’m filled with relief and a surge of affection. I thought I was a step closer to blowing it already, but Sophie understands.
“I won’t let it happen again. I’ll email you my work schedule. We’ll make sure we meet on days where I won’t be rushing off to a wedding. The advantage of this job is there are no call-outs. Everything’s known ahead of time. There are no vanishing acts.”
Sophie smiles. “That makes it sound an awful lot like you’re thinking this is going to turn into a long-term thing.”
“Yes. I am hoping it will turn into a long-term thing. I’m hoping that it will turn into a permanent, ongoing, time-of-our-lives thing.” I take her hand. “That’s where I am, anyway. How are you feeling?”
She nods, a small smile playing on her lips. “I think I’m hoping for the same. Everyone’s telling me I’m crazy to think about doing this all again, but I can’t forget what we had once. I want that again.”
“They all told us we were insane the first time.”
“And they were right!”
“What are you saying? Ten years later, aren’t we here?”
She giggles. “You always had a way of seeing things.”