“What way?” Crispin asked, having just stepped into the kitchen to refill his cup of coffee. “Go on, get out of here, Becky and I have plans.”
“We do?” she asked, surprised.
With that, Kell nodded and went on his way, leaving Becky alone in the house with Crispin. Well, not quite so alone, Keegan was around somewhere, probably downstairs in bed, sleeping in.
“Have a second cup with me?” Crispin offered, pouring them both the last of the coffee from the pot.
“Sure, why not?” she said, following him into the front room. He was already decked out in his Victorian finery. That’s the thing with Crispin, he always impeccably dressed, whether he had somewhere to go or not.
“Sit down next to me,” he suggested, catching her on the way towards Kell’s chair.
“Oh, all right,” she said with a curious smile.
“Yes, I’ve missed our snuggles.” He held her mug as she sat down next to him on the couch, rather stiffly at first. While she might be feeling better about her relationship with the Goths, she still didn’t quite feel comfortable enough to resort to her old carefree ways. Just in case, Gracie’s assumptions were correct.
“Oh, come on. Lose the schoolgirl jitters and relax,” Crispin said, setting the mugs down on the coffee table. When she didn’t, he took a deep breath and let out an exasperated sigh. “Becky, you’re hurting my feelings.”
“Really?” she asked, confused. “How, exactly am I hurting your feelings?”
He sat back into the corner of the couch with his hand tucked under his chin, his other arm, crossed over his waist, watching her. After a moment of uncomfortable silence, he sighed painfully. “Dormouse, you don’t have to tiptoe around the subject. Just talk to me.”
“I don’t know what you mean.” Becky purposely averted her eyes from him and toyed with the sleeves of her shirt.
“Fuck this shit! I can’t stand it anymore,” he lamented, reaching out and grabbing her into his arms, pulling her so that she rested her weight against him in the same way that they used to sit and watch movies together.
“Crispin!” She struggled unsuccessfully against his unwavering grasp. He may be beautiful and graceful, but he was a force to be reckoned with in the strength department.
“Just shut it, you, and relax.” After a moment, she relented. He then reached over and grabbed up their coffee mugs. “Here you are.”
“You’re lucky I don’t spill this all over your fancy shirt!” she threatened with a frown.
“Oh, stop. Just humour me for a while, would you?”
“Why?”
“Why not?” he scoffed.
“Because, you know why.”
“No, I don’t know,” Crispin retorted.
“Yes, you do!”
“Oh, for Pete’s sake! Get over yourself,” he shouted and laughed. “You might be all that, but I’m my own man. I’ll have you know that I can control my urges.”
“Crispin, this isn’t funny,” she half-heartedly swatted him on the chest.
“Oh, yes, it is,” he teased, dragging her closer and planting a big wet kiss on her cheek. “There, deal with that.” At the look on her face, he just about lost it with giddy laughter.
“Crispin, stop it!” she cried indignantly. While a part of her was enjoying his attentions, her insecurities were running wild. Still not quite sure of her status in the house, she suddenly got very sad. Not at the kiss or his affectionate nature but rather because she still was very confused about everything.
“Aw… no, not that,” he said frowning at the sight of the slight tremble on her lips. “Anything but that.” Plead as he may, it was too late. Becky was suddenly a blubbering mess.
Becky couldn’t help it. She knew he hated it when she cried. He’d never had much patience for her weepy side. Yet Kelley was nowhere near and besides, it was Crispin’s fault she was crying now.
“My poor little dormouse. I’ve hurt your feelings, haven’t I?” he crooned, taking her mug away from her again.
“You’re confusing me,” she cried, reluctantly giving into his embrace.
“Let me un-confuse you, then,” he said in a soothing voice, wrapping his arms around her shoulders, his head resting on hers. “Gracie doesn’t know a damn thing about my feelings for you. You’re my sweet little dormouse. I care about you very much and I love having you around. You make me laugh. You fill this house with your wonderfully girlie ways, and you make my world a better place.”
She pulled up and stared down into his dove grey eyes for a moment. “What about all that other stuff?” she asked, absently playing with the ruffles on his collar.
“Not interested, sweetheart. I’ve told you before and I’ll tell you again…”
“You’re not into vanilla.” She chuckled, cutting him off with a hearty laugh.
“Now you’ve got it! Finally, I thought I’d never get through to you.” He laughed along with her, hugging her tight against his chest. “Doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy a cuddle now and then. Understand?”
“Understood, you sweet, prickly Goth,” Becky said with a cheeky smile.
***
“Where are off to first?” she asked, happily buckling herself up in Crispin’s vintage VW beetle.
“Well, see now that’s the thing,” Crispin said as he backed up out of the driveway. “I have no idea. I mean if we were in Toronto, we could hit the St. Lawrence Market, Queen St. and then maybe the Eaton’s Centre, but Kingston is so…”
“Mundane?” she offered, finishing for him.
“I was going to say limited, but mundane suits just fine,” he said despondently. “Well, I suppose we could hit the strip mall by the highway.”
“There are some nice little shops downtown,” Becky suggested.
“Downtown? Kingston has a downtown?” Crispin repeated sarcastically.
“Oh, stop it, you prickly Goth.” Becky laughed. “Of course, even I know that.”
After coffee, Crispin had expressed his wishes to go Christmas shopping for Gracie. He was hoping that the right gift might persuade her to reconsider their relationship. Even though a part of him believed it to be a useless effort, he had also hoped to spend the day bonding with Becky. He’d missed her, his little dormouse.
Having found a parking spot along Princess Street, Becky hopped out of the car and waited while Crispin secured a ticket for the dashboard.
“What are thinking of getting for Gracie?” Becky asked, walking alongside the handsome Goth.
“I have no idea. That’s why you’re here,” Crispin confessed, approaching a jewellery store window.
Becky blinked in wonder from the window display to Crispin. “But I don’t know what Gracie likes.”
“Oh, come on now,” Crispin said with a frown. “You’re a girl, she’s a girl. What do girls want for Christmas? It can’t be that hard to figure out.”
“If it’s so easy, why did you insist on bringing me along?”
“Because, if you haven’t noticed, I am not a girl,” he stated quite proudly.
“Sometimes, I wonder,” she teased.
“Oh, shut it, you,” he said with a smirk. “What about some jewellery? Too much? Too desperate?”
Becky could only shake her head and sigh. “Well, that depends,” she said, looking at all the shiny gold rings and bracelets.
“On what?” he asked.
“On how serious you are about her. I mean, she might take it the wrong way if you bought her a ring, especially given her outlook on monogamous relationships.”
“Right… I see what you mean,” he said with an exasperated sigh. “I suppose you would appreciate a ring, wouldn’t you?”
Becky nodded thoughtfully, tracing her fingers over the window. To her, a ring would mean the world. It wouldn’t even have to be expensive like the lovely ones on display. To her, a ring symbolized commitment, security, and eternal love. She sighed, thinking about Kelley, suddenly wondering what his views on long-term commitments were. In so
many ways, she still didn’t know him very well.
“Doesn’t that bother you, Crispin?” she asked, turning to him. It must, she realized, seeing the turmoil in his eyes.
“Fucking pisses me right off,” he muttered under his breath.
“I should say so,” Becky said, placing a reassuring hand on his arm. “Maybe you should rethink this whole thing with Gracie. You deserve better. I mean I like her, she’s smart and funny but…”
“But what?” he grumbled, tucking her hand into the crook of his elbow and leading her away from the jewellery store.
“Well, you deserve better,” Becky said thoughtfully.
“Sadly, the universe doesn’t seem to think so.”
“Aw… don’t say that. Why would you think that?”
“Becky, I have no illusions about my lot in life,” Crispin said, pausing in front of an antique shop with boxes of knick knacks out front. “I came into this world alone, and I will die alone.”
“Stop it. You’ll find someone. There are plenty of girls who would love to have a guy like you to call their own,” Becky stressed, watching him as he purposely avoided eye contact with her.
“Yeah, for a thrill every now and then maybe… just not for much else.”
“Crispin…”
“Fuck it, Becky, don’t bother yourself,” he said, shaking her off and stalking away. “You wouldn’t understand. You shouldn’t understand. In fact, you shouldn’t even bother hanging out with the likes of me.”
“Wow, you are a Goth in the truest sense.” Ignoring his attempts to distance himself from her, she insistently curled her hand around his elbow and walked with him in silence. She was very much aware of Crispin’s low self-esteem, given his not so happy childhood. How could someone so beautiful on the outside feel so ugly on the inside? She was sad for him. Envisioning him as this sweet little boy, being bounced around from foster home to foster home, brought tears to her eyes.
“Don’t you cry for me,” he said, leading her away from the shops, heading for the waterfront instead.
“I’m not…”
“Yes, you are!” he bit out angrily. Shaking free of her, he grasped onto the metal rail by the water’s edge and stared out onto the frosty lake. “I do not want your pity.”
“Aw, Crispin…” Becky wrapped her arms around his waist, once again ignoring his attempts to shake her off. His shoulders were beyond tense, his beautiful face, hardened in anger, his fists clenched around the cold metal rails.
“Becky, you are walking a thin line,” he warned, teeth clenched. “Remove yourself from my person!”
“Not until you hear me out,” she said, petting his long wavy mane. Not even for a moment did she fear the menace in his voice. She felt him literally tremble with pent up rage, but that just made her hold on tighter to him.
“Damn it, say what you have to say and get off me, dormouse!”
There, he’d said it, called her dormouse. Becky smiled triumphantly to herself. He would never intentionally say or do anything to hurt her. He was just being defensive, attempting to push her away so that she couldn’t hurt him like so many others had before.
“Dear Crispin, I treasure you…” she whispered, her voice filling with emotion. When he didn’t budge, she continued. “You were there for me when my granny passed away. You comforted me with your hugs, your presence. You stayed by my side the whole time… and I’ll never forget that. Even when the others weren’t there, you never left me. You have no idea what that means to me.”
“Becky…”
“Crispin, you’re my friend, forever, my sweet prickly Goth and I love you. I will always love you.”
With a small shudder followed by deep inhale of fresh air, Crispin slowly turned around and tucked her into his chest, wrapping his arms around her small body. They stayed that way for a very long time, just holding each other.
“You’re cold, Becky,” he whispered, holding her tighter. “Hungry too.” He chuckled at the unmistakable grumble from her belly. “How’s about some lunch? A little cheese perhaps, for my wee dormouse?”
“Sounds like a plan.” She giggled from somewhere underneath his all-encompassing embrace.
Chapter 40
Later that night, Becky was tired from running around with Crispin all day. Poor guy, in the end, he’d settled on a little pewter bracelet as a gift for Gracie. The silly ungrateful girl that she was. The more she thought about the situation, the angrier Becky got. Crispin deserved better. As tough and unaffected as he would like to be perceived, Becky saw right through his facade.
Well, Kelley hadn’t yet returned from wherever he felt he had to go without her. Disappointed, Becky got ready for bed and slipped in under her blanket.
It was now, one week and a half before Christmas. Classes would soon wrap up for the holidays. That meant several days of hanging around the house in nothing but pyjamas! With that pleasant thought, Becky drifted off with a smile on her face.
Hours later, she was awoken by a pair of strong arms wrapping around her, lifting her up out of her single bed. She didn’t even have to open her eyes to know exactly who had her. “Kelley…” she mumbled sleepily.
“Hush…” he whispered, swiftly carrying into his room. He was still feeling the cold from the outdoors and her bed warm body was what he wanted most at that moment. Even if only to hold her close. He gently lowered her onto his bed, got undressed and slipped in beside her. Making quick work of undressing her from her nightie, he then quickly covered them both up with his blanket. She hadn’t even fully awoken, yet she instinctively sought out his warmth, burrowing herself into his chest.
Heaven on earth was lying skin to skin with Becky in his arms. It had been a long day and he was glad to be back where he belonged.
“Sh… sleep, love,” he murmured contentedly.
***
Becky would have been happy to sleep all day, had it not been for the distinct sounds and aromas coming up from in the kitchen. The boys were up and busy. She eventually opened her eyes to find Kelley staring down at her. He was quietly leaning up on his elbow, just watching her sleep.
For a moment, she didn’t realize that she was no longer in her own bed. Her confusion must have registered with him because he leaned down and gave her a reassuring kiss on the nose.
“You, all right?” he asked, rather amused.
“Well, it’s not every day I wake up to a scary looking Goth with blood-red streaks in his hair,” she teased. “A naked one at that!” She laughed throatily when he feigned indignation.
“I suppose we’ll have to change that then,” he said, suddenly serious, his warm palm caressing her lovely bare breast.
“Kelley…”
He bent his head down and kissed her from her earlobe to her chin. All the while, fondling her softness, teasing her nipple between forefinger and thumb. Automatically, Becky rested her hands on his head, her fingers curling around his long black tresses.
Eventually, his mouth took over where his fingers left off. He eagerly sucked and licked his way around from left to right then back again. His free hand, travelling stealthily down over her belly. His fingers playing with her softness before finally diving in between her legs.
“Oh, yes…” she gasped, tugging on his hair.
“You like that?” he asked, taking a moment to look at her face before burying his finger into her dewy wet centre.
“Yeah…” She nodded, biting her bottom lip.
“Well, I fucking love it!” he growled, sinking in a second finger, his thumb now flirting with her tender clitoris.
Feeling as though she was standing on the edge of a cliff, Becky wholeheartedly leapt into its awaiting abyss of pleasure. Staring down at his face as he continued to masterfully suckle and mouth her taught nipple, Becky came apart way too soon. So very aware of his long fingers delving in and out of her body, she shuddered at the sensations that overtook her. His talented thumb was relentless in its attention where she needed it most. She was l
iterally putty in this Goth’s magical hands.
“So there…” he said with a cat-like grin. “How is that for a wake-up call?”
“Kelley…” she panted breathlessly, still toying with his hair. “Can I please fall back asleep, just so you can wake me up like that again?”
“Greedy little woman, you are,” he murmured, crawling upwards, lining his substantial arousal with the slippery spot between her legs. “Careful… little lady,” he warned when she enthusiastically parted her legs. “I might just slide right in.”
“Oh, yes, please…” she whispered, trustingly placing her hands on his broad shoulders. She could think of nothing better than for him to fill her up with that impressive piece of man-flesh, prodding at her entrance.
“No, not just yet,” he purred, kissing her on the nose, while giving her a little nudge with his hips, his erection, only just breaching the walls of her untried passage. “Don’t want to hurt you yet.”
“Oh… but I want you to,” she pleaded.
“Fuck, woman… you’re not helping my resolve,” he groaned, nudging in further ever so slightly.
“Yes, Kelley, please, even if you hurt me, I won’t mind,” she murmured, sliding her hands down his back.
“But that’s just it,” he said, forcibly disengaging his lower half from her eager body. “I do mind.” He kissed her passionately, lovingly, devouring her mouth with his. “I will hurt you, and I’ll hate myself for that fleeting moment. I’m not ready for that yet.”
“But I can’t stay a virgin forever, can I?” she protested, slightly red-faced at all his talk.
In the distance, the voices of their housemates could be heard amongst clanging of dishes and other not so attractive sounds.
Kelley raised a definitive eyebrow and rolled his eyes before focusing his attention on Becky’s frown.
“Love, I can guarantee that you will not remain intact for much longer.”
“Geez, why do you have to talk like that?” She blushed.
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