“Do what? Miss you?”
“Just stop… Don’t lie to me,” he said with a heavy sigh. “Don’t pretend.”
“I am not lying!” she said indignantly. As aware of his ploy as she was, he always had a way of getting through her defences.
“You and Kell were together. Probably fucking your brains out the entire time. I’m sure the last thing you were missing was me. And if you were thinking of me, I would seriously suggest you get me out of your dirty little mind.” He paused for effect. “For I have no such interest in the likes of you.”
There that should do it. He waited, watching the inevitable tears well up in her eyes. Any second now, there would come an indignant slap to his face. Then she would turn and leave him to his misery. Done. Signed, sealed and delivered. But, of course, what she actually did was the last thing he expected.
“You’re the one who’s lying,” Becky whispered, stepping in close, wrapping her arms around his neck.
“Dormouse, get off me…”
“Sweet prickly Goth, you don’t mean a word of it.” She giggled, resisting his half-hearted attempts to pull away from her.
“You think you’re so smart.” He chuckled reluctantly. Despite all his well-laid plans, in one swift move, she had obliterated his gauntlet. He’d been a fool to think he could resist her. His only option now was to retaliate with equal armour. Placing his guitar down, he then dragged her between his knees.
“Why do you have to be so despicable?” She squirmed away from his ear-seeking nose.
“Because you’re so damn irresistible. I have to do what I can to keep you at bay.” Trapping her between his knees, he had her at his mercy, caged within his arms. “And if you weren’t Kell’s you’d be mine. I’d tie you up, tickle you silly and have you laughing all the way into oblivion.”
“That’s more like it,” she agreed, squirming as he continued to torture her with cuddles. “Oh, Crispin, you’re a treasure.”
At her words, he relented his torture. “And just think, all this could be yours.”
“You know I wouldn’t turn you away if I wasn’t in love with Kelley.”
It was the honest truth. If Crispin were hers, she would never give him reason to doubt his worth. To her, he was priceless. Deep down, she knew her heart belonged to Kell, but Crispin was not far behind in her affections. At the same time, she realized that he should never be second best. What she wanted most, was for him to find someone of his own, someone to love him, to treasure him, someone worthy of him.
“Well, it’s a good thing you’ve got Kell. Because you don’t do a thing for me,” he teased, dragging her up onto his lap. “Too puny for one thing, too willful and stubborn.”
He loved her, yes he did, but his love for her was of a special kind that only made sense to the two of them. Well, perhaps to their other housemates as well. He was ever grateful for Kell’s understanding of his affections for Becky. A lesser man might be threatened by their unique bond.
“Haha! You wish,” she said, clasping his cheeks between her palms.
“Aw… it’s no use. I can’t fight you off. I love you all too much, especially you, silly little twit. Even if in the end you destroy what’s left of me.”
“Destroy you? I would never hurt you.”
“Not on purpose, but you will eventually,” he said with a heavy sigh. “One day, you’ll want me gone. You and Kell, you’ll see.”
“Not this again… Crispin, that’s not going to happen. I promise!”
“Listen, Becky, don’t make such promises. They’ll only end up hurting us all.”
“Can’t we just try our best to be good to each other while we are able?” she asked, recalling Kell’s words from earlier. All they had was today. Today she wanted them all to be together, to stay together. “I want you here. I want to be here with you. I want all of us to be here together. Don’t you see how important you are to me? I don’t take family lightly. Not after having all those I loved taken away from me,” she said with a hitch in her voice. “And I don’t care that no one else wanted you. I want you. I want you here!”
“Okay, okay, calm down.” He gave her a reassuring squeeze. This situation was no longer only about him. This was also about her fears, her losses. He had been selfishly dwelling on his own fears. He hadn’t considered hers. “Silly but, oh, so wise dormouse.” After a moment, he slid her off his knee and placed her on the ground, facing him. “Once again, you win me over with your beguiling logic.”
“Good, now stop with your silliness.” She took him by the hand. “Come on, Crispin, dinner should be ready soon,” she said with an encouraging smile. “By the way, I love you too.”
Chapter 55
Weeks went by and things around the House of Goths settled once again into a pleasant routine. Becky and Kell thrived in each other’s company. The pair became rather inseparable. With him having gotten his concerns off his chest, he hadn’t felt the need to visit his family’s gravesite quite so often as before. In fact, he was quite all right with going once or twice a month instead of twice a week.
During those visits, he would go by himself. Becky had offered to accompany him but the Goth insisted he needed those moments alone. While in the past this might have bothered her, she now understood him better and allowed him his solitude. In those moments, she sought out her other housemates for company which they were more than happy to offer.
Heather and Dorian continued to see each other and many a weekend, she would spend at the house. Becky quite liked having her there. It was nice to have another girl around the place. Dorian seemed quite happy too.
Keegan came and went, but mostly enjoyed his free time watching movies or practicing his guitar. That was always a treat because he would often invite Becky to join him. Every now and then he would let her hold his guitar, even show her a few simple chords.
With all four members present and accounted for, the band was back in full swing. With gigs every weekend, The Kingston Quartet were kept quite busy. Becky loved nothing more than to accompany them on those nights. She would always be right there, hugging the stage, watching, and pumping her fist in the air.
When they weren’t running off to pubs, they would focus on classes and getting their assignments in order.
“That’s quite the collection you’ve got now,” Crispin said, looking from his latest painting to Becky’s. In fact, she had been quite busy with her fairytale-inspired creations. He couldn’t help but smile at all those allegorical images. She was quite the talented artist, even if her subject matter was not his particular cup of tea. He hadn’t had the heart to tease her about her insistence at using their likenesses in the Elven creatures she painted. The girl was talented and that’s all that mattered. Who was he to tell her where she should find her inspirations?
“I have to set up a show for my final mark,” she said, standing back from her latest painting. “The class is having a gallery opening and each of us has to present at least three final works.”
“Well, seeing as you have double that, and it’s still only March, you’ve nothing to worry about.”
“But are they good enough?”
“Becky, with your skill and those handsome elves, you’ll be the runaway hit. No doubt about that.”
“Sweet, Crispin, thanks!” she said with a smile.
He was glad someone was excited. While he put on a brave face, he still wasn’t quite right. Niggling feelings of over-dependancy on his housemates still haunted him. Deep down he knew he would have to do something. What that was, became clearer each day. In fact, with Spring Break approaching, an idea had formed in his mind. An idea, he hadn’t yet shared with anyone.
For the most part, he had kept himself focused on his studies. Being so busy with the band and all their gigs, keeping his mind occupied was relatively easy. To counter the loneliness, he had distracted himself with a few dalliances with fans. When he needed something more real, he would spend his time with Becky.
“I k
now you’re sad, Crispin. I just wish you weren’t,” Becky said, seeing him stare out the front window. “What are you looking for?”
“Purpose, a place in this world, a reason for breathing…”
“You’ve got that here with us.”
Out of the corner of his eye, he gave her a forlorn smile. She meant well but didn’t understand. How could she? “You’re right, Becky. Never mind my dreary words. Sometimes they’re all I’ve got.”
“Hopefully, you’ll cheer up soon. Spring Break starts on Monday. That should help. You’ve been awfully busy. Maybe you just need some time off.”
Wonderful… he could look forward to two weeks of nothing but witnessing his housemates frolicking around the house. It was bad enough with Becky and Kell going at it like rabbits. Now with Heather and Dorian joining in, he would most definitely lose his mind. He couldn’t bear the thought of having to sit around while they coupled off into their bedrooms. Being around all that romantic bliss would be nothing short of pure torture. If he were to salvage what he had left of his soul. He would have to act soon.
Chapter 56
For whatever reason, Becky woke up with a start. Seeing Kelley still fast asleep at her side, she was reluctant to wake him. Yet in her chest, her heart raced with an overwhelming sense of unease. Something was amiss.
Unable to stand it, she quietly got up and tiptoed into the hall, careful to close the bedroom door behind her. She took a few steps and stood silent for a moment. She then dared a peek into Dorian’s room. He was okay, sleeping on his belly and she was glad for that. A few steps more, she poked her head into Keegan’s room. She breathed a sigh of relief, finding him snoring away.
Last but not least, she checked Crispin’s room. That’s when her heart all but stopped. The prickly Goth was gone! His bed left untouched from the day before. “Crispin…”
With her heart in her throat, she raced down the stairs. She should have known something was wrong. He’d been so sad lately, so despondent.
Just about to shut his trunk, Crispin nearly screamed with fright at the full force of Becky’s impact. She literally launched herself at him, clinging tenaciously to him with her arms and legs.
“Crispin! Don’t go, don’t go…” She continued to climb him.
Spotting him at the last minute, despite her tears, she had raced out of the house to catch him. Blinded with concern, she hadn’t thought twice about it.
“Holy fuck, Becky,” Crispin gasped, clutching her to himself. “You scared the shit out of me.”
“Where are you going?” she asked with an undeniable quiver to her lips, pointing at the large suitcase in the trunk.
Damn, why did she have to catch him? Wasn’t it hard it enough to leave without having to explain? He simply needed to do this. He needed to step away if only for his own sanity.
Forcibly disengaging her arms from his neck, he gave her his most intimidating frown. He then placed her gently but firmly on the ground. That’s when he noticed her state of undress, standing there with only those incredibly flimsy pjs and nothing on her feet.
If that weren’t bad enough, thunder rumbled from above. Droplets of rain, the size of her tears, fell from the night sky.
“Becky, get back inside! You’re not dressed. You have nothing on your feet! Is it a death wish you have?”
“I don’t care! Tell me what this is about!” she demanded.
Unable to stand the sight of her distress, he turned his back and shut his trunk. The best thing he could do was get out of there. Time was of the essence.
“Crispin, please…” She followed him around to the driver’s side of his car, tugging on his sleeve.
“For God’s sake, Becky,” he snapped, shaking her off, instantly regretting it at the sight of her uncertainty. The last thing he wanted was to be unnecessarily cruel. He simply needed to get away. Why did she have to make this harder than it already was?
“Becky, you’ll get sick again,” he stressed, pointing at her bare feet. Incapable of dealing with the sight of her standing on the cold gravelly ground, he grabbed her up into his arms again.
“Crispin,” she sobbed, clinging onto him with all her might. “Please, don’t leave!”
With a very deep breath, Crispin turned and carried her to the back door of the house. With every determined step, his mind raced with what he could possibly say to set her mind at ease. He should have known better than to sneak away. In fact, he realized now just how incredibly cowardly and cruel an act it was. As much as he tried to convince himself otherwise, he had indeed, become as important to her as she was to him.
He couldn’t risk going inside in case the others were to hear them. It was hard enough to leave without having to deal with all that. Going as far as the back door, he stopped under the awning, away from the rain. With her warm little body still wrapped around his lanky frame, he leaned back against the house and waited.
“Crispin, don’t go, don’t leave,” she pleaded into his collar after a few calming breaths. “I don’t want you to go. I want you here, with me, with Kelley, Dorian, and Keegan. I want… I want us to stay together. Forever…”
Doing his best to comfort her, holding her close and stroking her hair, Crispin gave a great sigh. He hadn’t meant to upset her. Yet the realization that she cared so much humbled him and warmed his heart. In fact, it touched him deeply.
“Firstly, I need you to get a hold of yourself.” Crispin tugged her hair back gently in order to look her in the eyes. “Secondly, I want you to stop with the tears.” He stared her down. “Lastly, and I’m only going to say this once. Put that lip back in its place or I… will… bite… it… off.” He playfully took it between his teeth.
With her sobs now coupled with laughter, he could only shake his head at her. Not a submissive bone in her body, this little imp. As small as she was, she was a force to be reckoned with. Good luck, Kell, with all that.
“Tell me where you’re going,” she demanded, placing her hands on either side of his handsome yet troubled face. “Tell me you’re not leaving us. Then perhaps…” She paused for courage. “Perhaps then, I’ll stop with the tears.”
“I am not leaving you,” he said after a long lingering smile. “I would never do such a thing.”
“Then where are you going?” she asked, feeling only slightly reassured.
“On a trip.”
“Where? By yourself? Why?”
“Dormouse, sometimes one has to leave to find oneself,” he said wistfully.
“I don’t understand.”
“Do you trust me?”
“Yes, of course,” she said without hesitation.
“That’s all we both need. Trust. Is it not?” he whispered.
“Yes… but…”
“Becky?”
“Yes, Crispin?”
“Do you trust me?”
“Yes…”
“Listen carefully to what I say.” He waited until she nodded. “I’m going away but I will be back.”
“Really?”
“Yes.”
“Okay…”
“Okay?” he repeated quietly.
“For how long?”
“For no more than two weeks. I need to get away for a little while.”
“You’ll come back?” She waited until he nodded. “Promise?”
“Promise.”
“Okay.”
He couldn’t help but smile at the look of uncertainty on her face. How could anyone dream of walking away from that? This was proving to be near impossible. He would only be gone for a couple of weeks and it was killing him.
“Promise you’ll go back inside? Go back up and get into bed beside your intended.” He quirked an eyebrow at her. “Kell will notice you gone soon.” He paused. “I know I would. Besides, I need you to keep this to yourself until morning. I’m glad you caught me and I’m sorry to have tried to sneak away but I don’t want to have to deal anyone else right now.”
“Why?”
“Ple
ase, just tell everyone I’ll be back when March Break is over.”
“Can’t you at least tell me where you’re going?”
“I’d rather not get into it. Allow me that, Becky.”
“Okay, but you will be back, won’t you?” Sensing his impending departure, the quiver returned to her lip with a vengeance.
At the sight of it, Crispin gave up the good fight and placed the sweetest of goodbye kisses on her cheek. After a moment, he pulled away, flashing her a bittersweet smile. “My dearest pet. You make it impossible to stay away,” he said as he opened the back door and placed her down on the floor. “Besides, you’re my little dormouse, aren’t you?”
“And you’re my sweet prickly Goth,” she whispered, trying her hardest to keep still as he closed the storm door and walked away. For as long as she could, she stood watching his unforgettable silhouette disappear into the murky morning. Only after his car pulled out of the driveway, did she close the door.
Chapter 57
Finding Becky sitting on the old picnic bench in the backyard, Kell couldn’t help but sigh. “Love, this is not how I imagined spending Spring Break.” Sitting down beside her, he draped his heavy arm around her shoulders.
“Sorry, Kelley, but I can’t help but worry,” she said, leaning into him.
“I understand… I don’t like it but I get it.”
Damn Crispin and his timing. Instead of spending their free time in each other’s arms, he had been running around reassuring her all week.
***
When Kell had awoken the other morning and discovered Becky missing from her usual spot beside him, he had shot out of bed to go look for her. He found her sitting in the kitchen, quietly sobbing. The girl was inconsolable. After much coaxing and reassuring hugs, she was finally able to get the words out.
“Crispin’s gone,” she whispered, wiping her tears with her sleeve.
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