Danny laughed, mesmerized: “I’ve forgotten. I’ve completely forgotten.”
“Good.” Diane slipped her hand around his neck and her soft lips touched his.
Chapter Six
Danny watched as the blonde girl from the market walked down the street drinking from a take-away coffee cup. “She’s really pretty. In fact, she looks a little bit like Diane. The things I could do to that pretty white body.”
Shut up, I don’t want to hurt her, I don’t even know her.
“Yes you do, that’s Janine from the market. She turned you down when you asked her for coffee. Your luck with women is awful.”
Shut up, I was happy thinking about Diane, stop interrupting me when I’m happy, it’s annoying.
“It’s snowing, Danny. It’s always snowing and it won’t ever stop.”
No, not snow. Anything but snow. The snow hates me. It killed them. I should be dead, not them. Janine looked back and saw him. She crossed to the other side of the street and turned down an alley.
She actually crossed the road to get away from me. Do I look like a murderer or something?
”You are a murderer.” Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out.
“Why are you trying to breathe, Danny? Lily doesn’t get to breathe any more. Neither does Mum, or Emily.”
Stop it.
“You should be dead, not them.”
I know. I wish I was dead instead of Emily. She was so young...
“Danny?”
“Diane? Where are you?”
“Find her Danny, find her voice. She needs you. Precious Diane. What if you hurt her? Then what? Kill the only woman you have ever loved. You don’t trust her Danny. Hurt her.”
“Danny?”
“Diane, please! I don’t want to kill anybody.”
Danny tried to follow the voice, but ended up following Janine. She’s so pretty. I just want to hurt her. I just want to love her.
“Hello, can I help you?” He was stood in front of Janine as she sipped her coffee.
“So, you do like coffee then?”
“Danny!”
“What?” The girl looked at him with black eyes and snow in her hair.
“When I asked you out for coffee, you said you didn’t like it and you thought cafés were a scam. You’re a liar.”
“Of course I lied. Who would want to go out with you?” Janine laughed in his face. “You’re pathetic, you aren’t a man.”
“Danny?” The snow’s everywhere. It won’t stop. Diane, make it stop, please. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. Danny wrapped his hands around her neck and pressed on her airways. She coughed up the coffee at him.
“That’s not coffee, Danny-boy. That’s blood. That’s her blood on your hands. You’ve killed her. You killed another girl. You’re a murderer.”
“No! No, I didn’t kill her, I couldn’t have.” He looked down at his hands, and the blood dripped from them onto her blue skin.
“Danny!”
Chapter Seven
Diane’s shining eyes gazed down at him. Fuck, she looks so scared. “Did you have another dream, baby?” She stroked his hair from his face. He looks ill again…
Danny stretched and sat up in the bed. “Yeah.” He propped himself up with his elbows, and pulled her towards him. Diane lay down on his bare chest and breathed him in.
“I wish you would tell me what they were about. I could get you some help. I know this really good-."
“No, Di. I don’t need a therapist.” Lie to her. “It’s just about Emily, that’s all. It’s coming up to three years now, and it’s just playing on my mind.” Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out.
“I still think talking to someone will help you…” she spoke between planting kisses on to his white skin. I can hear his heart racing, he’s lying to me. Should I confront him?
He wrapped his arm around her shoulders, and squeezed her tight. “I have you, don’t I? I talk to you every day.”
“You’re keeping something from me, Daniel. I know it.”
“So, are you, Di. Where does Jerry think you are today?”
Fuck. “With Annette and Laura shopping in Lakeside.”
“And last weekend?”
“A business trip in Portsmouth.”
“Hmm.” He tousled her hair and laughed dryly.
“You know, they have some lovely houses up there, and its right near the beach so we could take the dogs for a walk and sunbath and swim…” She closed her eyes and pictured her bruise-free world with Daniel. I love him. It’s so warm with him, I feel so safe. I don’t think even Jerry could ruin this one.
She’s thinking about the future: we have a future? Good. I need her. “We have dogs?” Pump. Pump. Pump
“Yep.” She grinned up at him. “And children. I’ve never had children.”
“We will one day, baby. I promise.”
“You’re too young to have children just wait. We can wait a little while if you like?” Don’t scare him, Di. He’s just a boy. He’ll think you’re old.
“How about we make one right now?” He winked at Diane and dug her in the side. “Imagine you as a parent, you’d be a nightmare.” Pump. Pump. Pump
“You’re always so feisty in the mornings. What is it with young men and morning sex?”
Ouch. Plural. “I don’t know.”
Oh, Diane you fool. You’ve upset him now. “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to group you in. I just…”
“Its fine, baby. I just hate being reminded of all the others.”
“You make it sound like there were hundreds, and that you are the same as them.”
“Aren’t I?”
“No.” She was firm with him.
“Why not?”
“Because, Daniel, I love you. I love you more than anyone or anything in the world. I love you nearly as much as I love my house.” Da Dum. Da Dum. Da Dum.
Danny feigned shock, “What an honour!” They laughed together before laying together as they had every day for six months.
…
“Will you leave him, Diane?” he asked as he fed her pasta. Pump. Pump. Pump
“Oh, definitely. Just as soon as I kick him out of my house, and divorce him.” She chewed the pasta and opened her mouth for more. Kiss me, please.
“But he won’t agree to a divorce?”
“And there in, lies our problem.”
“Di?” “Don’t say it kid, she’ll say no. You’ll look like a fool…” He fed her more pasta.
“Yes, honey?” She swallowed. Oh god, he looks so serious. I hate it when he does that. Please don’t leave me. Never leave me.
“Diane Warner,” he took her hand, “Will you run away with me and marry me and love me forever?” He grinned at her.
Did he just propose? “Did you just propose?”
“Not exactly.”
“Oh.”
Fuck. “I’m proposing to propose eventually, after we’ve run away and started our new life. We could move to the country. I could be a farmer? You could run the business?”
“You want to marry me, even in years, when I’ll be old and grey.”
“You’ll never be old, Di. You’re a babe and you know it.”
Diane climbed off of the bed and pulled on her jeans. “I’m not a “babe”, Daniel. I am a 35 year old businesswoman with a lover in his twenties and a husband in his forties. I am not an object of fleeting fancy, so don’t treat me like one.” Pump. Pump. Pump.
Did she just tell me off? He scoffed, “Di. That’s not what I meant.” He stood next to her and pulled her by the hands to the sofa. “Listen, you are a beautiful, strong and independent woman. I wasn’t trying to be insulting… I just want you to know how I feel about you. How I feel about us.” Look her in the eyes, look her in the eyes.
“ You’re so sensitive, Danny. I love that about you. But sometimes, you try to hide how open you are. You are hiding things from me, and I will find out about them.” She kissed him softly on the lips and th
en sat back a few centimeters. “It’s best that I know about any little problems you might have, before Jerry does.”
“And what has Jerry got to do with me?”
“You are the man standing between him and his punching bag. I am his to use as he please, and he doesn’t like it when other men try to take his playthings. Understand?”
She thinks I can’t handle myself against some old bloke with an over-active sex life?
“I’ll kill him.”
“No you won’t, honey. You couldn’t hurt a fly.” She patted him on the leg and walked off to the bathroom.
“Where are you going?”
“I need a shower. I promised my cousin, Polly that I would take her shopping today.”
“You didn’t tell me.” He sulked, crossing his arms and huffing at her.
“Oh, my darling boy. You are such a child sometimes. A beautiful man-child.”
“Can I come with you?” What?
“You want to come shopping with me and a nineteen year old girl?”
“Yes.”
“No.” Not with Polly, and not today.
“Why not?”
“I just want to spend time with my little cousin, today. OK, honey?”
I’m so stupid: she thinks I’ll fancy her cousin. “You know I only have eyes for you, right?”
“And what young eyes they are.” She walked off to shower, and left him frustrated and confused on the sofa.
Danny looked around his bedroom and realized how much Diane had changed his life in those months they had been lovers. When did I get a rug? And throw pillows? I’m not even sure I understand what a throw pillow is.”
You’ve let her take over your apartment. What’s wrong with you?”
I need her here. She keeps the memories away.
“What, the memories of the girl’s death? And all the girls you dream about killing?” Pump. Pump. Pump.
I didn’t really kill them. What if I didn’t really kill the girl? What if I made it up?
“Well, you did kill her. So, maybe you killed the others. Most of them were girls you’ve never met. Except Janine. Janine rejected you. Maybe you did kill her? Diane certainly hasn’t mentioned her in a while…”
That’s because she knows I don’t like to hear about Jerry.
“Or maybe it’s because Janine’s gone missing?” Pump. Pump. Pump
“I didn’t do it! It didn’t happen!” Diane came running out of the bathroom.
“What’s wrong honey? What didn’t you do?” What’s wrong with him lately? He’s getting worse and worse.
“Nothing. Go finish your shower.” Danny crawled back into bed and faced the wall. Don’t look at her. Don’t look at her skin. Don’t look at her face. She’s worried about me. Stop caring about me. If she didn’t care then I could tell her the truth.
Chapter Eight:
“Get off me.” Diane pushed her drunken husband’s hands away from her breasts, and tried to move further from him.
“You. You are a v-very bad wife. All I wanted is my dinner. Why – where’s my dinner, Di? Eh? Eh?” Jerry tried to bite her neck, but she moved and he ended up falling into the fridge.
“Fuck! “ He screamed in her face, his breathe hot on her skin. “Oi, you cow! You did that on purpose!” He swiveled round, and then paused as if trying to remember why he was telling her off.
“Correct.” She picked up the chopping board and moved it to a different counter, balancing the peppers and the knife on top. Keep calm, Di. Don’t let him get to you.
“But you can’t do that. You’re my fucking wife.” He hiccupped.
“Leave me alone, Jerry.” She continued chopping.
He leant against the fridge he had just collided with. “Well what you going to do, eh Di? Well? You going to call the cops? Again –eh Di? That was a mistake wasn’t it, Di?” he prodded her in the shoulder, directly on top of her scar. The blood was everywhere.
“No, Jerry. I shall not be phoning the police.”
“No, Jerry. I shall not be phoning the police.” He mocked her voice. “You’re such a snob, Di. You were a lot more fun when we were younger. You used to like a little slap around. I remember when you loved me, Di.”
“Leave me alone.”
“If I make you bleed, will you love me?” She could hear desperation in his voice. Ignore him.
“I never loved you, Jerald.” Be brave, he won’t hurt you tonight. He’s too drunk.
“Oh, you lying bitch. You loved me. You couldn’t get enough of me. Signed me into the housing lease, ignored your poor mummy’s warning. “Oh, Anne, please don’t marry him.” She was pathetic. You’re both pathetic.” He spat at the back of her head. Diane spun around to face him with the knife still in hand, and slashed the blade down the side of his arm.
“You bitch! What the fuck have you done?” The blood streamed down his arm, and he helplessly searched for a tea towel. She smiled to herself and turned away from the bleeding man, leaving him swearing to himself and soaking up the blood. The blood was everywhere. Diane rinsed the knife, and returned to cutting her peppers.
Chapter Nine:
“We need to leave, Di. We’re going to miss the train.” He picked up the overnight bag and opened the front door, tapping his foot on the carpet.
“Hang on, I can’t find my phone.”
“Why do you need your phone? Who’s going to call you?” Don’t piss her off just because you don’t like being late.
“Well, I don’t know – the solicitors’?” Well, that would be a miracle.
“Come on, my soon-to-be-wife. We’re going to be late.” Danny smiled at his new bride-to-be and thought about the life they were preparing to venture into.
“It’s the life of a runaway.”
“Shut up.”
Diane poked her head around the kitchen door, “Did you say something, babe?”
“Err.” Fuck. “No.”
“Idiot, you’re supposed to talk to me in your head. Not out loud. You’re not very good at this psychopath business are you?”
You aren’t real. Pump. Pump. Pump.
“Of course I am, Danny –boy. I’m you. The better, smarter version of you”
Then why am I not you?
“Because, my physical twin, I am not a murderer. You, on the other hand, are.”
“OK, I found it.” She looked him in the eyes, “Danny, what’s wrong? You look like you’ve seen a ghost?”
He swallowed hard, “No. No ghosts. I just really don’t like being late.”
“HELP ME. Help me, please” Danny whipped round to find the voice.
“Did you say something?”
“No… Danny maybe we should do this another time-“
“I’m fine. Let’s go.” He walked out the door.
“She knows.”
“He’s lying.”
…
“Please take that off.” Danny grabbed Diane’s left hand and touched the shining silver ring on her hand.
“But, Daniel-“
“I don’t want you to lose it. It’s important to me.” Don’t be so blunt with her. She doesn’t know.
“Why? I thought it was just a ring? Not that I care, I think it’s beautiful. Jerry’s ring was horrible. He was too busy flirting with the cashier to notice what he was buying. Honestly, a blue stone in a wedding ring-“
“It was my mother’s.” Look at her, fool.
“What?” Fuck. He cares.
“The ring. It was my mother’s ring.”
“Oh, Daniel...” Diane kissed his hand, “I’m sorry, I didn’t know.” She took off the ring and handed it to him. I love that ring… I love him, too. Don’t I?
“I know.” “See, you can’t get angry with her for not knowing because you knew she didn’t know. Idiot…”
…
“Oh, isn’t it pretty, Daniel?” Diane grabbed his arm as they walked around the house. “Can’t you just see us living here for the rest of our lives?”
“It
’s a farm…” he raised an eyebrow and gazed around the echoing farmhouse.
“It’s comes with all the furnishings, sir.” The estate agent chipped in.
“Yes. I could run the business side, and you could tend to the land.”
“You want me to be a farmer?”
“It’s just so different to our usual lives, and you said yourself that you hate working in an office.”
“So, you want me to be a farmer because I didn’t like being cooped up in an office?”
“If you don’t like it say so.” She let go of him and wandered over to a large bay window, and brushed the dirt from the sill. Rush. Rush. Rush.
“That’s a trick question, Danny-boy.”
“No, it’s great.” Think positive thoughts. “Lots of fresh air, away from the cities. It will be… fine.”
“Farmer Dan. That’s what they’ll call you. All your friends will have farmer accents and talk about pig-breeding. You’ll fit right in Danny-boy. You are a pig. They could cut open your head and see what makes you tick. A social experiment: the mind of a murderer. They could film it and put in online. Everyone would come to the house of Farmer Dan: the killer. ”
Shut up. I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m fine.
“You’re not fine with this, are you?” She started to cry. “You don’t want to live with me do you? You don’t want to marry me?”
“Oh, sweetie. Of course I do, I gave you my mother’s ring for Christ’s sake. I just don’t think my father-“
“Fuck your father! That’s useless- I mean, he’s just so overbearing and…”
“You don’t like my Dad?”
“He’s too… familiar to me. “
Fuck. He reminds her of Jerry… Danny turned to the real estate agent, who had been pretending to read a blank form on her clipboard. “How much is it to rent per month? “
She stood straight and adjusted her glasses, “Mr. Fores. This is not a rental property, it’s to buy only. Mrs. Fores, we did speak about this on the phone…”
“Yes, yes, it’s fine. Lydia. We’ll take it.” Danny took Diane by the hand, grinning.
The Snow Killer Page 4