by Don Miller
“But now that you are Miss Dumont, you expect more from marriage because the security I had to offer you is no longer necessary?”
“It is not just the security. Just from being around my new grandparents and having a different perspective on the world, I have recognized I have been offered a unique place in the world for a woman. I not only want to be happy, but I want to make the world a better place because of what I have been given. My grandfather does not put any requirements on me, but I know he would like me to help him manage the shipping line and to run it after he dies until I have a son who can take it over. The Dumont Shipping Line is a family legacy of generations and he does not want it to end with him. Therefore, I want to make sure my husband would understand and possibly help me in my endeavors to find my place in this broader world of mine. You are the only man I have ever met to this point who I can imagine might be able to provide me the support and the understanding needed, but you have your own legacy to maintain, and there is clearly a potential problem there. I would have to be in or near London most of the time, while you would have to spend most of your time at Pemberley. Also, there is so much about you that I do not know, and there is so much about me that you do not know, I am concerned.”
Darcy pondered what she had said and began to understand how her change in status had changed the dynamics of a marriage between them. She was right. He had been considering her as mistress of his estates, mother of his children, and marriage partner and had not considered how her responsibilities to at least oversee the operation of the shipping line and any other enterprises her grandfather might own would affect those roles. He knew that many of the upper classes of British Society left almost all of the management of their estates or other enterprises to hired managers and simply lived off the income, not really being concerned how well the managers were doing as long as they were getting a sufficient income. But he was not that way and he knew Elizabeth would not be that way. How would they manage it?
“I do love you Elizabeth Dumont. I cannot imagine there is another woman in the world with whom I would have this conversation after I had asked her to marry me. It is just further confirmation to me that there is no other woman in the world like you. But you are correct, for us to marry would require a major adjustment in our lives. I promise you, I would support you as much as I could, but I know how much work it takes to manage my estates, and I can imagine that it takes at least as much to manage your grandfather’s shipping line and whatever other enterprises he may have. It would probably require us to give more control than we would like to our stewards or managers and require many compromises which at this point we can probably not even determine. I cannot guarantee you I would be in agreement with everything you want to do, but I would maintain an open mind, and I would always consider you an equal partner.” Then he stopped and looked at her. “The question is, when you inherit all of your wealth, you would bring more to this marriage than I have. Would you consider me an equal partner?”
Elizabeth also laughed, “You know I try not to think about how rich I will be. It dawns on me that you and I, should we marry, might possibly be the wealthiest couple in England, because I am assured by my grandfather he is one of the wealthiest men in England. Did you realize that?”
“I did not know that until an hour ago, but he did tell me when we were in his study.”
“William, you almost make me wish I was not Miss Dumont. But I am, and for the next several months I have a lot of my life planned out for me. I am going to Staunton Park with my grandparents to see the estate I will inherit and learn about it. I am going to spend some months traveling with my grandparents to the various locations where they have ships and warehouses and learn about managing a shipping line. This could include possibly going to America to look at property in which he has invested in both the United States and Canada. And I am certainly going to try to get in contact with my biological mother and hope that sometime in the future I can meet her. I do not think I can commit to anyone until all these are done. So if you’re worried about me rushing often marrying someone else, you need not worry.”
They walked along in silence again for a few minutes, each thinking of what had been said. Finally Elizabeth spoke again. “My problem, William, is that the way I was brought up by my adopted father has made me not fit very well in today’s society. He brought me up as his surrogate son to read and study and learn and to be interested in what is going on in the outside world. I even studied books and magazines on farming and estate management to see if there was something I could do to help improve our estate, and I did help him by developing relationships with the tenants—relationships he and mother should have been develoing. My adopted mother tried to get me to sew and needlepoint and play the piano and do other womanly things, and I did work at them a little bit, but they were not my real interest, so I am not especially accomplished in any of those things that Miss Bingley would consider necessary for a truly accomplished woman. I want a loving husband and children, like any woman, but I want to do so much more. I am not a traditional woman. I want to be a partner with my husband, not his somewhat subservient wife. And you, Mr. Darcy, seem to me to be quite a traditional type of man. You want to be in charge and to have people follow your guidance without question. And I am not like that. I believe you need to think about this and determine whether you truly want to marry someone like me.”
Darcy had to admit to himself he had not considered all of these aspects of Elizabeth’s personality, and he knew that over the years, since his father had died, he had become somewhat autocratic and to believe his way was the right way. Could his overwhelming desire for her, not just physically, but mentally, overcome his traditional upbringing? Would he, over time, resent her independent nature? He suddenly comprehended how different their marriage would be than any marriage he knew, and he tried to imagine what their marriage would be like ten or fifteen years after they were married. He felt sure Elizabeth could compromise and adapt to a certain extent, but could he? And then he thought about what he had been like before he met Elizabeth, and the changes she had wrought in him since they had met. He had changed. He had compromised and adapted. But mainly because he realized that many of the traits he had developed were wrong. Were there compromises he could just not make which would be necessary if they were to have felicity in the marriage in the future?
As all of these thoughts were going through Darcy’s head, they continued to walk in silence, and Elizabeth could see that her questions had evoked some serious introspection by Darcy. She became worried he was finding that maybe he could not accept some of the changes from the norm their marriage would have. And it made her sad, because although she did not know yet the depth of her feeling for him, she knew she was unlikely to ever meet a man who could accept her if Darcy could not.
After some minutes, Darcy stopped them and moved in front of Elizabeth and looked deeply into her eyes. He could see the sadness there and realized she did have feelings for him and had hoped that her apprehensions about him were wrong. He had an almost overwhelming desire to kiss her right then and there in the park, and tell her everything would be alright. But he knew he could not and would not. His traditional view of appropriate public behavior would not let him, even if Leila were not watching them
“Elizabeth, I am certain now that I do not want to marry someone like you.” He saw the surprise on her face, and he smiled and continued, “It has to be you, not someone like you. My life has been unhappy in so many ways for so many years, and I had resigned myself to living a life for my sister’s happiness—I would sacrifice my happiness for hers. Then, suddenly, I discovered you in Hertfordshire, and I became even more miserable, because I believed you were someone who could make me happy, but I knew I could not have you because of our positions in society. So I left Hertfordshire, vowing to forget you and get on with my unhappy existence. But I could not get you out of my mind. I realized then how much I had come to care for you, and then Providence found
us in Kent at the same time. I was convinced your being in Kent at the same time I was there was a gift from God, and that my life would be even unhappier if I did not forget my pride and position and try to make you my wife and ignore the societal consequences.”
He paused, thinking about how her refusal at first angered and surprised him and then saddened him. “Your refusal crushed my spirit to a point it had never been crushed. But I have been given another chance, and I intend to pursue it. I cannot guarantee life will be perfect with you, but I am absolutely certain it will be wretched without you. So I do not think there is anything you can tell me which will dissuade me from seeking your hand in marriage.”
They started walking again, Elizabeth trying to decide how to respond to these last statements. Finally she said very softly, “Sometimes I wonder if it would have been better if we had never met. You tell me that if I do not marry you, you will be miserable for the rest of your life, and knowing you are miserable will make me miserable. Yet, I so fear that if we do marry the marriage will not be what you expected and eventually I will make you miserable, which, again will make me miserable.”
“Elizabeth, do not even think that. Meeting you has been the highlight of my life since my father died, so whatever happens, I will not regret meeting you. Do you truly wish you had never met me or Georgiana?”
“No, of course not. I just wondered how our life would have been had we not met. But I think I can agree with you. Meeting you has been one of the highlights of my life also.”
They walked on in silence again. Finally she said, “William, if I were to accept your proposal, when would you expect to get married?”
“Before I answer, I want to ask you. Do you know that is the fourth time you called me William this afternoon and that I have been calling you Elizabeth?”
She put her hand across her mouth, “Oh dear, that is quite improper, is it not? In the future I shall endeavor to always use the proper etiquette, Mr. Darcy, and I am sure you shall also.”
“But you see; it is just another thing that gives me hope. One only uses familiar names with family or intimate friends. I like to think you think of me as a very intimate friend. As for your hypothetical question, if we were to be engaged, my greatest wish would be to marry immediately and never be separated again. But I understand you have an extensive trip planned with your grandparents. The trip could be our first honeymoon. We could possibly visit my estate in Ireland, which I have not visited use. I am confident my steward could handle Pemberley until we returned, and I am certain Georgiana would be happy whatever your choice, because all she wants is you to be her older sister. But I, of course, would accede to your wishes.”
By this time, they had been gone for some time and were back near the entrance to the park. Therefore, it was decided they would return to Dumont House immediately. Immersed in his thoughts, Darcy began to walk briskly back to the entrance of the park, but before they reached it, Elizabeth pulled back on Darcy’s arm, and laughingly said, “I am a very good walker, but you do realize, do you not, that you are much taller than I am. It is almost necessary for me to run to keep up with your fast walk. If you are going to go on many walks with me, you are definitely going to keep the pace a little slower.”
After his apology, they enjoyed a quiet, but enjoyable stroll until they eventually reached Dumont House, where they found Elizabeth’s grandparents still in the family parlor. When they walked into the room, Elizabeth’s grandparents looked at them expectantly, and then Lord Monttard said, “Well, how did everything go?”
“Better than I expected, and not as good as I hoped,” answered Darcy. “I think we understand each other a little better each day. And I have hope that one day she will realize she cannot live without me. But that day is not come yet, so once again she sends me away with heavy heart.”
Elizabeth looked at him and said teasingly. “Well, if the experience today sends you home with heavy heart, then why would you return? I fear I may be incapable of sending you home with a light heart, short of me totally capitulating to your desires. “
Bowing to Elizabeth, he said, “Touché, Miss Dumont. Let me amend that to say you send me home with a hopeful but still unfulfilled heart.” And taking his leave of Elizabeth and Lord and Lady Dumont, Darcy returned home.
After he had gone, Lady Dumont said to Elizabeth, “He did not seem totally dejected, so may I assume that you gave him some encouragement?”
Elizabeth gave a small laugh and said, “I do not know if was encouragement or not. I pointed out many problems that our marriage might have. When I am around him, it is very hard not to just give in to him and accept his proposal. I must admit, at one point I almost told him I would marry him. And I did not tell him that if I were Elizabeth Bennet, I would probably accept his proposal. But I have so much to do and learn as Miss Dumont, I think an engagement and marriage would inhibit the plans we have made. I love my new life and I love you, but things have definitely become more complicated and confusing. Nevertheless, I would not change it for the world.
Elizabeth sat quietly for a several minutes, thinking about the day and all that had happened to her, and suddenly, with a big smile on her face, she stood and went to the middle of the room, lifted her arms and turned her face up and started twirling around, singing, “Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!”
Her grandparents looked at her in amazement, and when she stopped her grandfather asked, “Lizzie, what was that all about?”
She looked at them and, giving them her biggest smile, explained, “When I was living in Hertfordshire, I would often go on solitary walks, and some days, particularly when the sun was shining and the flowers and trees were in bloom, it would just fill me with such joy that I would throw my arms in the air and twirl and thank God until I became dizzy. And, just now, when I said to you ‘I would not change it for the world,’ I suddenly recognized I already had the world. When you found me and brought me into your family, you gave me the world, and I just had the undeniable impulse to express my joy. And now dear grandparents, I am going into the music room and play and sing all of your favorite songs.” So saying, she turned and exited the room.
Lord Monttard, smiling, looked over at his wife and saw tears of joy in her eyes, so he stood, took her hand, pulled her up, and said, “Actually, I think she has given us the world. Why do we not go in to the music room with her and show our joy with a little dancing?” And so they did.
Chapter 13: The Realization
As Darcy sat at the breakfast table thinking over the way things had gone with Elizabeth the day before, he was pleased. When he had returned to Darcy House on Monday evening, his hopes had never been higher since their meeting at Kent that Elizabeth would eventually agree to be his wife. Georgiana had anxiously been awaiting his return and wanted to know everything that had gone on during his walk with Elizabeth. He declined to be very specific about it, only telling her he had definitely received more encouragement from Elizabeth than he had expected. He did mention to Georgiana that Elizabeth had thrice inadvertently referred to him as William and that seemed to give Georgiana great encouragement she would someday have Elizabeth as a sister. Although Darcy was more confident than he had been in weeks, he knew there were many potential pitfalls in his future with Elizabeth. However, he sensed Elizabeth was beginning to feel the closeness that had developed between them over the months they had known each other, and he hoped that would work greatly to his advantage as she considered her options over the coming months.
Shortly thereafter, Georgiana joined him for breakfast, and they had a pleasant conversation about what she was going to do for the day while he visited his solicitor so he could discuss with him what a settlement between him and Lord Monttard might contain and also to take care of some business related to Pemberley. As he was about to get up to leave, his cousin Col. Fitzwilliam entered the breakfast room.
“So Darcy, how did your meeting with Miss Dumont go yesterday? Can I offer you congratulations ye
t?”
Darcy could not help but wonder what kind of answer Col. Fitzwilliam would most like to hear. Darcy loved Col. Fitzwilliam like a brother, but he still had some doubts about Col. Fitzwilliam’s feelings related to his courtship of Elizabeth. Darcy knew that Col. Fitzwilliam thought very highly of Elizabeth, and that if he were not interested in her, Col. Fitzwilliam would leap at the chance to court her. The question was, was Col. Fitzwilliam, in Elizabeth’s mind, a potential rival to Darcy. He was, after all, much more out-going and amiable in company than Darcy. Darcy knew that his cousin would never do anything to subvert his courtship, but did he secretly hope it would not work out?
“I think you know better than that, Richard. But at least it was very encouraging. She said she had come to know I was one of the best young men she had ever known and that she trusted me. She also told me that were she just Elizabeth Bennet instead of Elizabeth Dumont, she probably would have accepted my offer of marriage by now.”
“That makes her sound more of a materialistic woman than I think of her as being.”
“It does seem so, but she explained to me that she has affection for me and thinks she would be good for me, but now that she is Elizabeth Dumont, she feels she has an obligation to make the world a better place with what she has been given. She told me about her plans for the coming years, and I must admit that they are very ambitious. She has ambitions I cannot imagine any other young woman of the ton ever coming close to considering. The more I learn about her, the more of a challenge I realize being married to her will be, and knowing that, she seems more concerned about me not being satisfied with the marriage than her. She did ask me how soon I would want to be married if we did get engaged. I took that as a positive sign that she was thinking seriously about marriage with me.”
He turned to Georgiana as he continued, “Oh yes, and I forgot to tell you this, Georgiana. I had a talk with her grandfather before we had our walk and he made me aware of some conditions he would make before he would consent to an engagement, should she ever accept me. He did tell me to keep these conditions confidential, but let me say they are conditions that might adversely affect other suitors, but will have no effect on me at all. So I am happy to believe that I am a step ahead of most other potential suitors when it comes to getting Lord Monttard’s consent.