by Sabre Rose
I took my hand away, feeling like he hadn’t listened to a word I said. “You know I can’t do that.”
“Why not?” he pleaded.
“I just told you why.”
“Well, maybe I should take someone else then,” he said cruelly. “You know, just so people don’t get the wrong idea about us.”
I was getting sick of his games. “Fine,” I said and started walking towards the door.
“Fine,” he yelled back, slamming it behind me.
30
LAUREN
Our end of year work function wasn’t exactly at the end of the year, but it was as close as we could get before everyone started taking time off over the Christmas break. Peta decided, instead of going somewhere for dinner, she would close the café early and simply have it there. She and Mark had been cooking all day and there were platters of food over every surface as well as crates of beer and bottles of wine. Music played loudly and I had even helped Peta decorate the café in Christmas colours, something she was usually firmly against, but to counteract the cheer, she had managed to somehow combine Halloween and Christmas decorations and insisted that everyone dress up to suit the strange holiday mash-up.
“So,” Peta asked, stepping back and studying the fake black-needled Christmas tree we had just decorated with cobwebs, plastic spiders, silver tinsel and red fairy lights. “Everything okay with you and Gabe? You don’t seem to be talking much.”
I groaned. “So you noticed.”
Peta patted me on the shoulder sympathetically and somewhat patronisingly, before saying, “A little hard dating a teenager, is it?” and grinned stupidly.
I laughed, but at the same time realised how close her words were to the truth. I had never had these problems with Derek. We had always trusted each other. Never had a need to be jealous, that was, of course, until the lying-man-stealing-bitch came onto the scene. Maybe Gabe’s insecurities weren’t such a bad thing.
Peta, momentarily distracted by Shrek applying frosting to the windows in the wrong pattern, turned back to me. “Is everything okay with you two?”
I let my shoulders slump and Peta walked over and pulled me into an embrace. “Just tell me,” she said.
So I let it all out, telling her about our argument, how I threw my drink at him, and how we ended things with him slamming the door behind me.
“And you haven’t heard from him since?”
I shook my head.
“Well, that explains why he’s called in sick so much lately. I was actually beginning to worry about him.” Peta glanced at her watch. “He’ll be here soon though. He texted to let me know he was coming and, of course, apologised profusely for being sick. He blamed it on food poisoning.”
I dumped myself onto a seat. “I wonder if he’ll bring a date.”
Peta pulled over a chair and sat opposite me. “Look,” she started by saying. “Maybe this is for the best. Gabe, as gorgeous as he is, just isn’t right for you. He’s so much younger, and I’m not talking about years here, I’m talking about every aspect. The kid hasn’t had a job other than this one. He doesn’t own a house. And from what I can tell, he has no aspirations to change any of that. And why should he? He’s only twenty-one.” She lifted my chin so I looked her straight in the eye and then she repeated, “Twenty-one. You and he are poles apart. You need to find someone more suited to your personality, someone more in line with your way of life.”
I felt like crying and my throat constricted tightly. “But I want Gabe.”
Peta sighed deeply and pulled me in for another embrace. “Then Gabe you shall have,” she whispered in my ear, patting my head gently. “No, seriously. Gabe’s here.”
I jerked back from her and glanced out the window. Sure enough, Gabe, along with Drew, Jordan and Kate pushed the door open. “Oh, god,” I groaned, wiping away the tears. “How do I look?”
Peta ran her eyes over my face. “Terrible,” she said bluntly.
I turned away from the group walking through the door and wiped under my eyes furiously. I didn’t even know why I was crying, but I certainly didn’t want to face them all like that.
“Hey, boss lady,” Gabe said, embracing Peta. “You don’t mind that I brought a date, do you?”
My head whipped around, but Gabe was standing with his arm slung over Drew’s shoulder and grinning stupidly. He lifted his head in my direction, nodding in greeting. “Hey, buddy.” His gaze only rested on me for a fraction. Beside him, Drew rolled his eyes.
“You’re more than welcome, Drew,” Peta said, flinging a tea towel over her shoulder. “You’re practically part of the family anyway.”
Gabe pulled a chair out and sat down. “Yeah, that’s what I figured too.”
More and more staff filed into the café with their partners. There were some staff members I had never met before, being university students that only returned to cover the Christmas break shifts. The music was loud, the food was great, and Gabe was friendly to everyone but me. Occasionally, he addressed me, but only to call me buddy, or mate. He appeared to be having fun, but perhaps a little too much fun. His smile was too bright, his laugh too loud. Everything about him was forced. Peta kept looking over to me with an ‘I told you so’ look on her face every time he sauntered past. At one stage, encouraged by Gabe’s friendlier than usual demeanour, a rather intoxicated Jordan wrapped her arms around his neck and begged him to dance. He laughed, but a small sigh of relief escaped when he unpeeled her arms and stepped away politely, not even glancing in my direction. Unable to stand the distance between us any longer, I walked over and tapped Gabe’s shoulder.
“Hey buddy!” he greeted loudly. Too loudly. “Something I can help you with?”
“Can I talk with you a moment?”
Kate leaned over and whispered something in his ear. Gabe threw back his head in laughter, before turning back to me. “Sorry, you were saying?”
I took a deep breath. “Can I talk with you a moment?”
“Sure!” Gabe smiled widely and took a large gulp of beer. “Fire away.”
“In there?” I jerked my head towards the storage room.
Mock horror passed over Gabe’s face. “I hardly think that would be appropriate now, would it? You know what sort of things people get up to in storage rooms, I wouldn’t want anyone to think badly of us.”
I glared at him, but he wouldn’t meet my eye. He kept talking to Kate and Jordan and doing his best to make me uncomfortable.
Drew looked up and mouthed, “Sorry.”
“Gabe,” I warned.
“Oh, sorry.” He turned to Kate. “Looks like I’m being summoned. Back in a minute. Get me another beer, would you?”
He followed me inside the storage room and I pulled the door shut.
“You can’t have it both ways, Lauren. You can’t be friends in front of everyone out there and then jump me in the storage room.”
“No one is jumping anyone.”
Gabe crossed his arms and leaned against the wall. “Shame. It could have been fun.”
“What are you doing out there?” I asked.
“Having fun. That’s what I’m supposed to do, isn’t it?”
“You’re acting childish.”
Gabe’s snide grin dropped. “Maybe that’s because I am.”
“What? A child?”
“You seem to think so.”
“I don’t think that at all. Believe me.”
“Well, why don’t we go out there and tell everyone? Why don’t we just own it?”
“You know I can’t do that, Gabe. Not yet. I need time.”
Gabe lifted himself from the wall and pushed open the door. “Well, I will give it to you. I’m going to return to the party. I’m going to have a good time and I’ll catch up with you later, maybe. Depends on how late this thing goes. I better not stay up past curfew.”
“Gabe,” I called after him but he let the door fall shut. “Gabe,” I called again, pushing the door back open. But he had already sat down
and was sculling the beer that Kate handed him.
The more Gabe drank the darker he got. His previous tactic of avoiding eye contact changed to glaring at me every chance he got. During one such glaring match, Peta slumped to the chair beside me. “Having fun?” she asked.
I took in a deep breath. “I can’t ignore him. Why can’t I just ignore him?”
She patted my knee. “Beats me. Maybe it’s got something to do with those eyes. The way he’s glaring at you, although cold, is hardly innocent. If you are wanting this little thing you have going on here to remain between the two of you, you’re going to need to stop the way he’s looking at you. Even Jordan is suspicious. I caught her glaring at you also.”
“Delightful. This is exactly what I wanted to avoid. I need to get out of here,” I said and got to my feet.
“You can’t leave me here alone.”
“You’re not alone. Shrek’s here.”
“He doesn’t count,” Peta said, getting to her feet. “Excuse me everyone!” she yelled loudly. The hum of chatter died down. “I think it’s time the party moved on. Who’s up for some dancing?”
Gabe leapt to his feet and held his beer bottle high in the air. “Maybe not dancing but I’m up for more drinking!”
Shrek shot Peta a look of confusion and I hissed in her ear, “What are you doing?”
“Getting you out of here.”
“I meant away from Gabe.”
“It will be away from Gabe. Stuck here in the café with everyone is drawing lots of attention. If you leave, it will only get worse. If we all leave together and go dancing, you can slip away after a while and no one will even notice. Besides, I’m in the mood for dancing,” she sang.
Shrek walked out and wrapped his arms around Peta’s waist. “What was that? I’m getting lucky tonight?”
Peta laughed and pulled away. “That’s not what I said.”
One of Shrek’s eyebrows lifted. “But you did say you were in the mood for dancing, and you in the mood for dancing leads to the mood for—”
Peta covered his mouth with her hand. “Okay, okay. Yes, I get where you are heading. Keep your pants on and we’ll see how things progress.”
Shrek looked over to me and grinned around her fingers. “I’m in,” he mouthed once she removed her hand.
The music at the club was loud. Deafeningly loud. Peta and I couldn’t even talk above the blare of it. Gabe was quickly led by Kate and Jordan to the dance floor and Drew followed begrudgingly in their wake. Drew wasn’t much of a dancer. He stood in one spot, sipping on his beer and nodding his head to the beat. Gabe, on the other hand, moved smoothly, but I noted, thankfully, that every time one of the girls got a little too close, he slipped away from them, laughing.
“You really need to stop watching,” Peta yelled in my ear.
“Pardon?” I yelled back. I could barely hear anything over the music.
“Gabe,” Peta yelled again. “You really need to stop watching him.”
I took a sip on the bottle of some horrible premixed drink that had been shoved in my hand and nodded glumly. “I know.”
“Well if it isn’t Lauren Lees!” a voice boomed from behind. I turned to find Derek’s workmate, Preston Jones, with arms open and waiting for an embrace. I stood and hugged him quickly, correcting, “Lauren Greer. It’s always been Lauren Greer.”
Preston grinned and slung his arm heavily over my shoulder. “So it has.” His breath reeked of alcohol. “I’m pleased I ran into you.”
I tried to shift away, but his arm was heavy and there was no escape. “Is that so?”
“Yes. There’s been a lot of talk around the office since you left. You leaving Derek has done wonders for my sales results.”
“Is that so?” I said again. I just wanted to get away.
He leaned closer and his breath was hot on my ear. “Derek is nothing without you. Your photography and marketing skills sure upped his game.”
Gabe pushed his way through the crowd and grabbed my hand. “Excuse me a minute, mate,” he said to Preston and pulled me away. “So I’m not allowed near you in public, but this guy can have his hands all over you?” he growled.
Even intoxicated, the scent of him drove me wild. I wanted to wrap my arms around his neck and pull him to me. Kiss him right there in front of everyone. But I didn’t.
“He hasn’t got his hands all over me,” I insisted.
“So it’s fine if I do this then?” Gabe pulled me to him and roughly crushed his lips against mine.
“Gabe!” I exclaimed, pushing him away.
Gabe stumbled back and held his arms out wide. “What?”
Preston stormed over and shoved his chest. “Back off!” he demanded, assuming he was protecting me from a random drunk man.
I grabbed Preston’s shoulder and pulled him away from Gabe. “It’s fine,” I assured him.
Gabe’s lunged at Preston, his punch landing squarely on his jaw. His eyes were wild as he turned to the crowd that had gathered as Preston fell to the floor. “Anyone else want a go?” he yelled.
No one moved. They all just looked on in bewildered confusion before Gabe threw his bottle to the ground, the glass shattering at his feet and stormed out of the club.
I ran after him. “Gabe!” I called but he kept walking. “Gabe, please stop! Talk to me.”
“Leave me alone, Lauren,” he yelled over his shoulder. “Just leave me alone.”
By this stage, Preston’s friends had followed us and caught up to Gabe, shoving him as he walked. Gabe’s response was to wildly flay his fists around until one of them connected. The men backed off, seeing the power in his swing, even if he was rottenly drunk.
“Anyone else?” Gabe yelled into the night air. The men watching him took a step back. “Then I shall take my leave.” Gabe bowed deeply in my direction. “Mrs Robinson,” he said, then walked into the darkness. I started after him but Drew grabbed my arm, pulling me back.
“I’ll go,” he said. “I know how to handle him when he gets like this.”
Peta came and wrapped her arms around me, pulling me away from Gabe’s retreating figure. Police lights flashed in the distance and a siren wailed as the car turned around and headed towards the club. “Come on,” she said. “Let’s go home.”
31
LAUREN
I stayed at Peta’s that night, stuffed into the spare single bed in Henry’s room. Thankfully, he didn’t cry. But I did. I felt like I had lost Gabe but at the same time, I was so angry with him.
He didn’t call the next day or turn up for his shift at work. I worked the close alone, thankful for the peace and quiet to reflect on my thoughts. I kept returning to Drew’s words, ‘I know how to handle him when he gets like this’. What did he mean by that? Was this sort of behaviour something Gabe did regularly? The jealousy I could have handled but the sulking afterwards was too much. I tried his cell phone multiple times before giving up and admitting to myself I was too old for these games. If he didn’t want to talk to me, then why should I chase him? I wasn’t the one who punched a stranger. I wasn’t the one who threw a fit simply because I wouldn’t go as his partner to the end of year work function.
Resisting the urge to throw my phone into the sink, I placed it carefully on the counter. I couldn’t reward him for bad behaviour by repeatedly calling him and begging for him to talk to me. I couldn’t chase him every time he threw his toys.
Just before I was about to shut the doors for the night, Drew walked inside. My heart jumped, hoping that Gabe would be with him but he was alone.
He stood before me, hands stuffed in his pockets. “Hey,” he said.
“Hey,” I said quietly and wiped at an imaginary spot on the counter.
“He’s in hospital.”
I froze. “What? What happened?”
“Those guys that he taunted last night followed him down the street and beat the shit out of him before I could find him. I’ve just been down there.”
Without realising
what I was doing, I began to untie my apron and walk to the front of the store.
“Wait,” Drew called. “He doesn’t want you there.”
I sunk to one of the chairs and Drew came to sit beside me.
“Is he okay?” I managed to croak out.
“Fractured rib, but the rest is just bruising. He’ll get out tomorrow, they think. He received a rather nasty knock to the head, so they want to keep him in another night for observation.”
“He didn’t call,” I said, glancing over at where my phone lay discarded on the counter.
“He lost his phone. I spent all night searching for him, but it wasn’t until I remembered last time that I thought of the hospital.”
I stood. “I should go down there.”
Drew reached out and pulled me back down to the seat. “His mother is with him. He’s fine. Just give him a little time. He’s feeling like shit about the whole thing.”
All the anger I had been feeling earlier melted away. I hung my head and covered my face with my hands. “Does he do this a lot?”
Drew looked down. “Only when he goes dark.”
“Goes dark? What does that even mean?”
Drew sighed heavily. “It hit him really hard when his brother died. For months, my life simply existed to follow Gabe around while all he did was drink, fight and fuck.” His eyes darted to me in an apology. “Sorry. He kept getting in fights until there was no fight left.” Drew looked down at the ground and then back up at me. “Can I ask what happened between you two? I haven’t seen him this bad in ages.”
“He wanted to tell people.”
Drew frowned. “Tell people what?”
I lowered my voice, the words almost painful. “I didn’t want people knowing we were together and he did.”
“Oh,” was all Drew said.
“Yeah.”
After a long silence, Drew stood. “Look, he’s got a heart of gold and I love him, but the gold just turns dark sometimes. We’ve all got a bit of darkness, Gabe’s just not great at hiding his. And for whatever reason, this thing between you has hit him hard.”