It is easy to attribute champagne’s aphrodisiac allure to its social status: a universal shorthand for success, luxury and celebration. This no doubt plays a placebo part in proceedings but isn’t to my mind the whole story. The rituals involved in champagne are undeniably sultry. There is a pent-up energy and tension in the heavy reinforced bottle, a teasing provocation in the undressing and unwiring of the bottle’s phallic neck and bulbous cork. The release is metaphoric, either sudden with a foamy jet of excitement, or controlled as the pressure is released with the whimper of the ‘soupir amoureux’. Once in a glass and in one’s mouth, the yeasty fragrance, tingle of bubbles and cool acidity are both invigorating and intoxicating. And really it is intoxicating, a hefty 12–13 per cent of alcohol which those delightful bubbles mainline straight to the brain.
Socially and psychologically, champagne’s aphrodisiac reputation glitters convincingly. There is also a bit of science behind the sparkle. Champagne packs a poky punch of aphrodisiac trace minerals. These include potassium, zinc and magnesium, all absolutely essential for both male and female sex hormone production. It is also said that the yeasty bouquet of dry champagne accurately mimics the scent of female sex pheromones. Probably why rock stars are compelled to fill bathtubs and bathe in the stuff.
Selecting champagne is a rather delicate process. The various brands are closely associated with quite disparate social tribes. The hip-hop fraternity has a decided penchant for Cristal. The posh prefer the well-bred orange of Veuve Clicquot, whilst the nouveau get off on Moët or Laurent-Perrier. Winston Churchill drank Pol Roger and the Queen tipples on Taittinger. The bon viveur, however, sides with the bone-dry, rich and well-mannered Bollinger – just like James Bond. Chill Bolly to around 8 degrees (not too frosty), and if you are peckish pass on the strawberries and serve with a side portion of caviar, scrambled eggs and potato latkes.
It would be sacrilege to adulterate a top-drawer vintage champagne with anything other than one’s tongue. At the entry level of the market, however, there is much to be said for fortifying and fancifying less exalted champagnes into extravagant cocktails. Almost everything has been mixed with champagne from stout in Black Velvet to blackcurrant liqueur in Kir Royale. My preference is to keep the cocktail clean and classic whilst adding a little extra alcoholic va-va-voom and seductive spice. The Vanilla Thriller ticks the boxes. Like all good cocktails it is fun and frivolous yet decidedly feisty.
Vanilla Thriller Champagne Cocktail
Vanilla : ¼ pod
Brandy : 1 shot
Sugar cube : 1
Angostura bitters : 2 shakes
Dry non-vintage champagne : 1 bottle
Simple enough for the prettiest to prepare: split the vanilla pod, scrape out the seeds and mix them with the brandy. Place the sugar cube in the bottom of a champagne glass and saturate with the Angostura bitters. Add the vanilla brandy and top up with champagne. As you sip away at the cocktail, the layers will mix, giving a stronger vanilla flavour as you descend the glass.
RED WINE
Very occasionally a bon viveur must rein in that urge to splurge – if only to refresh the appetite for new indulgence. When the abstemious mood strikes, exile from alcohol seems to reliably satisfy the inner ascetic. Red wine is of course allowed, for as every right-thinking person knows, red wine is medicinal. Comprehensively hailed as good for the heart, red wine now appears quite capable of quickening the pulse too.
A study of 789 women in Florence found rather conclusively that, for these women at least, red wine and libido were amorously entwined. One group drank a couple of glasses of red wine a day, a second group drank less than a glass a day of any alcoholic drink, a third group was teetotal. All the women answered a series of indelicate questions assessing how often they wanted sexy time, how easily they became aroused and how satisfied they were with their sexual experiences. The red winos swept the board, significantly lustier than the satisfactory performance of the regular boozers; the teetotal crawled home a distant and somewhat frustrated last.
The active ingredient giving red wine its carnal edge is an antioxidant called resveratrol. Uniquely and abundantly available in the skin of red grapes, resveratrol is able to stop the natural conversion of the libido-driving male sex hormone testosterone into the less voracious feminine hormone oestrogen. Both sexes produce both hormones; however, in women testosterone levels are much lower and sexual appetite more finely tuned to its fluctuation. In men, red wine and resveratrol have the clearest effect during the mysterious male menopause. Testosterone levels drop and the conversion into oestrogen speeds up. The most visible symptom of the male menopause is the sudden development of the middle-aged male mammary or ‘moob’. Fight the ‘moob’ and maintain manly mojo with red wine regularly.
Having science on your side is always nice but red wine’s appeal runs deeper. A glass of good claret spreads a warm glow throughout the body. The nuances of flavour and rich bouquet awaken the senses and suffuse sensuality. When it comes to selecting a seductive red, it is old world and old money all the way. Nothing fits the bill better than the pure Merlot, Right Bank clarets of Pomerol. Fortifying wine with spices has long been held as a way to enhance wine’s aphrodisiac effect. French author Rabelais champions a Burgundy-based brew in Gargantua and Pantagruel. Hippocras Aphrodisiac is spiced and sweetened with ginger, cinnamon, cloves, vanilla and sugar. Aqua Mirabilis, a splendidly named and similarly fortified wine, was a favourite of Louis XIV. This version mixes cinnamon, galangal, ginger, nutmeg, rosemary and thyme with claret. The concoction is left to mature for a week and then strained. When it comes to spiced wine my mind naturally turns to mulled wine. My version is unusual in that it uses a ruby port base, which itself has a particularly aphrodisiac reputation.
Mulled Port Mirabilis
Grated nutmeg : ½
Fresh ginger : 4 cm length
Ruby port : 1 bottle
Ground cinnamon : 1 tsp
Cloves : 1 tsp
Rosemary : 2 fresh sprigs
Thyme : 3 fresh sprigs
Honey : to taste
The beauty of this recipe is that the mulled wine needs no fortification, and less sweetening than a traditional mulled wine. However, it does require a little advance preparation. First grate the nutmeg and finely chop the fresh ginger. Sample a little of the ruby port, then add all the spices and herbs to the bottle. Shake vigorously and leave to infuse for one week. Strain the port into a saucepan to remove all the spices and heat gently. Taste for sweetness and if required add a teaspoon or so of honey. Serve on a chilly night to warm cockles and muscles for an amorous encounter.
Fruit
BANANA
Whilst few healthy men’s underpants house a bright yellow fellow, in other respects the banana is a dead ringer for the male appendage. The general proportions and gentle curve of the banana are so redolent of man’s best friend that it would be surprising if bananas were not considered aphrodisiacs.
Cultivated for over six thousand years, as bananas have spread from South-East Asia across the globe so has their steamy reputation. In Central America locals knock back the sap of the red banana tree to fortify themselves for nights of passion. In India, the banana is considered a powerful fertility symbol which wannabe lotharios offer to the gods to aid their amorous endeavours. Although the jury is still out on the reliability of these two particular practices, there are plenty of reasons to suppose that eating a banana or two before engaging in some adult acrobatics is rather a good idea.
Bananas contain the amino acid tryptophan, which the body metabolises into serotonin, also known as the ‘molecule of happiness’. The loved-up feeling ravers enjoy when they pop an E is the body dumping its reserves of serotonin into the bloodstream. Conversely, low serotonin levels are an almost symptomatic feature of depression. I have correspondingly noted that whilst loved-up ravers get frisky at the drop of a jester’s hat, the depressed tend to go home alone. Bananas also ape the effects of another Class A narcotic naughty, cocaine. Ea
ting bananas stimulates the release of dopamine, the body’s impulse and reward pleasure hormone. We crave this stuff above all else, driving us to do whatever it takes to get our fix. Sex is hard-wired into our brains to give the biggest fix of all. Once we detect increased dopamine levels swilling around the brain, the waves of pleasure easily lead to sexual arousal. Indeed, medicinal drugs that increase dopamine levels (to counter ADHD for example) have the well-documented side effect of supercharging the sex drive.
It seems that bananas not only put one in a decidedly rude mood but can also improve performance should you want to take things horizontal. They contain the enzyme bromelain, which as well as being used to tenderise meat also has the possibly related but infinitely more useful property of lengthening a man’s countdown to blast-off. Luckily the banana’s triple whammy of natural sugars (sucrose, fructose and glucose) provides an instant and sustained source of energy to accompany one’s improved restraint. Apparently two bananas pack enough punch to power a ninety-minute workout, though I am sure one banana would be enough for all but the most ardently in love. The final piece of the banana’s nutritional jigsaw is a healthy wallop of vitamin B6, which boosts semen production and stimulates the production of sex hormones in both men and women, keeping libidos lively and people smiley.
Bananas are the most widely consumed fruit in the world, and the world widely consumes them in their natural state. When I think of bananas I am mainly thinking of breakfast; they kick-start the day with a hit of instant energy, and put you in a good mood to boot. Slice into a bowl of granola with a dollop of yoghurt and a splash of milk in the summer, or add to a bowl of steaming oatmeal in winter – hard to beat if it’s a healthy breakfast you want. Alternatively, blend with low-fat yoghurt, a little apple juice, some dates, a spoonful of granola and a dollop of honey – a liquid breakfast that will last you all the way to lunch and won’t give you indigestion should you engage in any vigorous activity shortly after consumption.
Glorious Morning Smoothie
Apple juice : 100 ml
Low-fat yoghurt : 200 ml
Banana : 1
Chopped dates : 2 tbsp
Granola : 2 tbsp (see here)
Honey : to taste
It couldn’t be easier thanks to the wonders of modern technology. Equip yourself with a blender, put all the ingredients in the jug and press the button. Slurp down the resulting goo, take off your pyjamas and take on the world.
DURIAN
The tropics of South-East Asia are an outlandish and intoxicating place for the travelling gourmet. Confronted with a stinking serving of fresh durian flesh, this will seem especially true. To the uninitiated this is the most unlikely of aphrodisiacs. Uncommon in the West, in Indonesia the durian is revered as the ‘king of fruits’. It is voraciously consumed across South-East Asia. Durians are enormous and look distinctly forbidding. A formidable husk of green thorns covers an abstract oblong fruit, which can grow over 30 centimetres long and weigh a hefty 3 kilograms. It is only when you break open the husk to reveal the edible flesh that the durian’s poky pong is fully deployed. Trumping an overripe Vacherin by some margin, the aroma of durian is strong, penetrating and, to many, absolutely abhorrent. Even in its Indonesian homeland, this king of fruits is something of a pariah, non grata on public transport and in most hotels.
The smell is beyond description, a fetid combination of almonds, rotten onions, turpentine and old trainer. Nothing about this smell encourages the novice to actually taste the fruit. The flavour that rewards the intrepid is something of a surprise, in that it is surprisingly pleasant. Five satin cells of firm creamy pulp form the edible part of the durian. They have a unique silky smooth texture with an equally unique almond-custard flavour with nuances of cream cheese, sherry and caramelised onion. Richard Burton, the Victorian sensualist and explorer, describes the fruit as ‘neither acid nor sweet nor juicy, yet it wants neither of these qualities, for it is in itself perfect. It produces no nausea or other bad effect, and the more you eat of it the less you feel inclined to stop. In fact, to eat Durians is a new sensation worth a voyage to the East to experience.’ Add to Burton’s eulogy possible aphrodisiac effects and that trip East is increasingly enticing.
The Javanese are the most fervent advocates of the durian’s amorous efficacy. For the average Javan gentleman the proverb ‘durian jatuh sarung naik’ (‘when the durians fall, the sarongs come up’) is more fact than folklore. There is even a set of rules of what and what not to eat after durian to control its libidinous urges. Durian is an undeniably sensual eating experience. The fruit’s silky texture is a sybarite’s wet dream. The rich, intense flavour equals the complexity of a fine wine. There is something intangibly alluring about the fruit’s impressive size and girth. However, the real origins of durian’s rampant reputation lie deep in the primeval Indonesian rainforest. The beasts of the forest go dotty for durian. Elephants, orang-utans, monkeys, deer, pigs and even tigers will travel large distances to get some. It is believed that this beast-beloved fruit can connect its human devotees to an ancient animalistic instinct, invoking the spirit of Orang Pendek, the tropical Indonesian Bigfoot.
There is substantial nutritional evidence to support the durian effect. High in vitamin C, sugar and potassium, durian also has peculiarly high levels of oestrogens and the amino acid tryptophan. Tryptophan metabolises into serotonin which, as we saw with bananas, creates cresting waves of extreme pleasure when released into the brain following certain ecstatic moments; the more serotonin, the more tidal that wave of pleasure. When it comes to durians, Western science and Chinese medicine are in unusual accord. According to Chinese food classification, durian is one of a handful of raw foods that create ‘heat’. As such it is seen as a yang or male force tonic, able to strengthen and replenish the qi vigour that governs libido and is lost in ejaculation. Not bad for a big stinky fruit banned from public transport.
Preparing an alluring dish of durian is something of a challenge. It is hard to tame its dubious fragrance. Perhaps rather obviously, durian is best served al fresco. Sit your dining companion upwind and serve your durian as a dessert. By this time senses will have been mellowed by previous courses, adventure aroused by a drink or two. The durian’s gastronomic strength is its complex exotic flavour and sensual texture, so it makes sense to serve it simply in its unadulterated raw form. It is delicious to both devotee and debutante as part of a fruit salad of mango and raspberries. The mango complements the durian’s texture whilst the tartness of the raspberries cuts through its creamy richness. Accompany with a dramatic black rice pudding, rich and sticky with coconut. Garnish with toasted coconut flakes and prepare for tropical paradise and jungle fever.
Durian Fruit Salad and Black Coconut Rice Pudding
Black sweet rice : 100 g
Mango : 1 ripe medium-sized fruit
Durian : 1 lobe
Chambord (raspberry liqueur) 1 tbsp
Raspberries : 150 g
Coconut milk : 100 ml
Brown sugar : 50 g / to taste
Salt : to taste
Toasted coconut flakes : 1 tsp
If you can’t find sticky black rice use standard sticky white rice. Place the rice in a non-stick saucepan and cover with water. Swill it around to wash and dislodge any loose husks. Skim the loose husks, then drain the rice and return to the dish.
Add 600 ml of water to the rice and bring to the boil over a high heat. Reduce the heat and simmer until the rice is soft (around 45 minutes), stirring occasionally. Meanwhile cut the stone from the ripe mango and chop the flesh into 2 cm cubes. Cut the durian flesh into similar-sized chunks. Pour over the Chambord raspberry liqueur and gently mix with the washed raspberries. Leave to macerate.
Once the rice is soft, drain off any excess water so that the level is just below that of the cooked rice. Add the coconut milk, sugar and a couple of good pinches of salt to the rice and simmer, stirring frequently until the rice pudding reaches a thick creamy consistency.
&nbs
p; To serve, place a ladleful of rice pudding in the centre of a warmed plate. Shake a little so that the rice pudding spreads out to form a circle. Place a pile of fruit salad in the centre of the rice pudding. Dress with a little of the macerating juice and garnish with a sprinkling of toasted coconut flakes.
FIG
Figs are part of the aphrodisiac establishment. Breaking open an oozingly ripe fig and eating it out is quite rightly regarded as downright saucy, highly suggestive of an intimate oral act between a man and a woman. The fig’s contours are strikingly testicular; its inverted flower anatomy positively womby. Such visual sexual stimulus did not escape early man’s lascivious leer and the fig has been a symbol for fornication and fecundity almost for ever.
The ancient Greeks dedicated the fig to the lusty and heroically endowed god Dionysus, who was represented at licentious all-night revels by a giant phallus carved from fig wood. In Roman times the fig tree was sacred to Priapus, god of procreation and the wide-awake winky. Even today the medical term for an uncontrollable and pathologically sustained erection is ‘priapism’. The fig was equally pervasive as a symbol for feminine fertility, appearing on monuments with the letter delta and a barleycorn as part of the Concha Veneris, or Delta of Venus. Given the fig’s X-rated ancient pedigree and her mythic nymphomania, it is no surprise that they were also one of Cleopatra’s favourite snacks.
The most offensive ancient Greek gesture was to make a fist and lewdly extend your middle finger upwards, a none-too-subtle digital erection. The fig was so symbolic of erections that this gesture was known as ‘giving the fig’. The custom survived into Roman times through the Dark Ages and spread across mediaeval Italy, Spain and France. The custom reached England in time for Shakespeare to include it in Henry V. It persists in modern times in the innocuous phrase ‘I couldn’t give a fig’, and in the gesture of first resort for enraged drivers everywhere.
The Aphrodisiac Encyclopaedia Page 2