The amino acid citrulline is responsible for this sudden change in status. Found in the flesh and rind of the watermelon, citrulline triggers the body to release arginine. When we get turned on arginine is metabolised to release nitric oxide, which dilates blood vessels causing the stiff nipples, sexual flush and bulging crotch of everyday arousal. In this instance more is definitely merrier. Put away half a watermelon and men may reach for the ruler, eager to record the statistics of their manly monolith.
The gastronomic possibilities of the watermelon are concise but none the worse for that. It shines au naturel but positively glows with an adult transfusion of rosé wine, vodka or tequila. In the kitchen, watermelon can be substituted effectively for its close cousin the cucumber. Try it with feta, olives, tomato and mint in a Greek salad with a difference. Better yet, use chunks in a deconstructed salad of aromatic duck, spring onion and deep-fried wontons, drizzled with a sweet soy dressing and scattered with toasted sesame seeds.
Margarita Watermelon
Watermelon : 1
Silver tequila : 200 ml
Triple Sec : 100 ml
Lime juice (1 large lime) : 50 ml
Sugar syrup : 50 ml
Select a modestly sized ripe watermelon. It should be heavy with juice and protest with a dull thud when thumped.
Prepare the margarita mix by simply stirring all the liquid ingredients together and sweetening with sugar syrup to taste. Those salty of spirit can skip the sugar altogether and season with sea salt.
Prepare the watermelon by making an incision around the stalk and cutting it out in one piece. Scoop out some flesh to make an internal chamber and fill this with the tequila mix. Replace the stalk plug to seal and leave to chill in the fridge for at least 3 hours.
If you are feeling the fiesta you can double-dose the watermelon, feeding it another ration of grog after a few hours, by which time the initial dousing will have distributed itself throughout the flesh.
Serve the watermelon in slices at a BBQ. If you require a little more refinement, cut the melon into balls and serve on cocktail sticks out of a hollowed-out watermelon shell.
Aromatic Duck and Watermelon Salad
Duck legs : 2
Salt : 1 tsp
Star anise : 2
Szechuan peppercorns : 1 tsp
Cloves : 5
Cinnamon : 1 stick
Ginger : 2 cm
Spring onion : 6
Rice wine : 3 tbsp
Honey : 1 tsp
Vegetable oil : 1 litre
Wonton wrappers : 4
Rocket and mizuna leaves : 2 large handfuls
Chicory (endive) : 1
Sweet basil : 1 small bunch
Mint : 1 small bunch
Watermelon : ¼ small watermelon
Toasted sesame seeds : 2 tsp
First rub the duck with salt, working it into the skin.
Prepare the marinade by heating the spices then crushing them roughly in a pestle and mortar. Combine with the freshly sliced ginger, three roughly chopped spring onions, rice wine and honey. Rub it into the duck and leave to marinate overnight.
Gently steam the duck in its marinade for 3 hours. Remove from the steamer, pat dry with kitchen towel and leave to air dry for half an hour.
Pour vegetable oil into a pan up to a third full and heat until hot. Deep-fry the duck for 5 minutes until the skin is crisp and brown. Remove the duck from the oil and place on some kitchen towel to absorb the excess.
Slice the wonton wrappers into 1 cm strips and deep-fry in the hot oil for 3 minutes until the strips are golden brown and very crispy. Again place on kitchen towel to dry.
PLUM SAUCE DRESSING
Mild red chilli : 1 tsp
Garlic : 2 cloves
Ginger : 2 cm
Yellow plums : 3
Rice wine : 2 tbsp
Rice vinegar : 1 tbsp
Toasted sesame oil : 1 tbsp
Salt : a good pinch
Prepare the dressing by removing the seeds from the chilli and finely chopping. Crush the garlic and chop the ginger. Remove the stones from the plums and cut into small pieces. Place all the ingredients in a saucepan and cook over a low heat for 20 minutes – if the sauce begins to dry out add a little water. Liquidise the sauce in a blender and pass through a sieve. If it is too thick, add some more water to loosen it.
Prepare the salad by first washing the leaves, then slicing the chicory lengthways and roughly chopping the herbs.
Slice the remaining three spring onions lengthways as finely as you can. Cut the watermelon into thin slivers and shred the duck.
Toss the salad ingredients with the sesame seeds and crispy wonton skins and pile artfully on to two serving plates. Drizzle some dressing over each salad and serve immediately with a crisp Kiwi Sauvignon Blanc.
All Things Animal
CHEESE
It is well known that France is a nation of cheesy lovers. The legendary French libido and the nation’s insatiable appetite for funky dairy products are strongly suggestive of aphrodisiac activity under the rind.
Actually, it is the Germans who are the true kaisers of Käse. Fritz chomps his way through 30 kg of cheese a year, enough to cause quite a stir in the lederhosen department. Cheese may not look or smell particularly sexy but its nutritional lunch-box positively pulses with aphrodisiac energy. Cheese not only boasts an all-star line-up of phenylethylamine (PEA), casein, histamine, tryptophan and magnesium but also sweetens the saliva to make ready for a spot of smooching.
Madly in love, sex-hungry couples feel that way because of PEA. It triggers the release of the pleasure-craving chemical dopamine. It is the main reason that chocolate is often held up to be an aphrodisiac (see Chocolate here). Despite not usually being regarded as romantic, some varieties of cheese contain up to ten times as much PEA as chocolate. Although this chemical is metabolised quickly in the stomach, the levels in cheese are high enough to allow significant quantities to make their way to the brain and bring on that loving feeling. Allow a molten piece of oozing Brie to melt on your tongue and the chemicals can enter the bloodstream through the mouth’s mucal membrane. The short distance from mouth to brain makes the likelihood of this active ingredient causing a commotion even greater.
Eighty per cent of the protein in cheese is a substance called casein. In the stomach casein is broken down into a natural opioid called casomorphin. As the name suggests this opoid is a cheesy cousin of morphine, quite capable of bringing on the same calming feelings of well-being and elation. It is a throwback to the original purpose of milk, namely nourishing a newborn. In order to bond baby to the nursing mother he or she is rewarded with a narcotic hit on every suckle. This calming opioid effect is enhanced by the action of tryptophan. Tryptophan is the essential amino acid that produces the hormonal harbinger of happiness, serotonin. The body is incapable of generating its own tryptophan so must rely on diet to get by. Fortunately mature cheeses, Parmesan in particular, are tryptophan treasure troves.
Tryptophan and casein would probably send one into a blissful snooze if they were not counteracted by the energising effect of histamine. Blue cheese and Parmesan both contain significant quantities of this unequivocal aphrodisiac. The sexual power of histamine is seen most clearly in its use as an extreme remedy for a drooping libido. A quick intravenous injection into the old man and he springs to attention. Elevated histamine levels are also consistent with a high sex drive and increased awareness. Released as part of sexual arousal, histamine triggers the telltale flush of feminine friskiness but more importantly enables and accelerates orgasm; both are in essence allergic biological responses to stimulation, chiming with histamine’s other function as a controller of allergic reactions. One of the reasons sneezing is ever so slightly orgasmic.
The final piece of the aphrodisiac jigsaw is magnesium. Conspicuously lacking in the modern diet, magnesium is key to the production of sex hormones; I also hear whispers from my louche lady friends that it ushers in earth-
shattering orgasms. The sea salts used in the manufacture of certain cheeses provide this mineral boost. The aphrodisiac Dunlop cheese from Islay in Scotland owes its naughty reputation to the unusually high magnesium levels in the local salt.
Despite this array of nutritional evidence, as an aphrodisiac cheese has limited historical pedigree. Milk, however, enjoys ageless endorsement. The Arab world is agog with the stimulating properties of camel’s milk, whilst Indian bridegrooms fight first-night nerves with a restorative draught of milk and almonds spiced with pepper. As it is essentially concentrated milk, I think it fair to add these milky attributes to the cheese tally. One main reason there is limited cheese history is because modern cheese-making only really took off in the Middle Ages. The original blue cheese, Roquefort, developed an aphrodisiac reputation almost immediately and it was honoured with a royal patent in the thirteenth century. Casanova added his own age-inclusive, off-colour endorsement, commending it as a sure-fire way to both ‘restore an old love and ripen a young one’.
When selecting suitable cheeses to adorn the aphrodisiac board one is spoilt for choice. Like a triumphant tumble, a good cheeseboard should provide softness, hardness and a little bit of blue. The Italian threesome of oozing Burrata, salty crystalline Parmigiano-Reggiano and creamy blue Gorgonzola should do the trick. Serve with grapes, some exceptional bread and lots of red wine. If you want to flex your culinary muscles and instigate an orgy, serve up fondue. This oozy molten mess is the stairway to cheese heaven. Fondue Piémontaise is made with Fontina cheese emboldened with butter, egg yolk and chopped white truffles. Delightful but ditched at the altar for the incomparable Fondue Normande – a dish I would happily marry.
Fondue Normande
Garlic : 1 clove
Pont-L’Évêque : 100 g
Camembert : 100 g
Livarot : 100 g
Cornflour : 1 tbsp
Dry cider : 100 ml
Calvados : 75 ml
Salt and pepper : to taste
Cut the garlic clove in half and rub vigorously around the inside of a small copper pan or fondue dish.
Trim the rind from the three cheeses, cut them into small pieces and place in the pan.
Mix the cornflour with the cider and pour over the cheese.
Gently heat the pan, stirring all the time. Once the cheese has melted and combined with the cider increase the heat to around 90° C to cook out the cornflour. Do not let the fondue boil.
Season with salt and pepper then add the Calvados.
Place the pan on the dining table over a spirit burner and serve with plenty of bread.
Get dunking.
EGGS
No self-respecting breakfast leaves the kitchen without two eggs on the plate. Poached, scrambled, boiled or baked, sunnyside up or overeasy, eggs are the most versatile of ingredients. Enjoyed by man since monkey times, the egg’s association with fertility and potency are almost as ancient.
An egg is a wonder – a seemingly inanimate object from which new life spontaneously springs. It makes perfect sense that our ancestors believed they could absorb this magic with a hearty cooked breakfast. The advent of science has demystified but not discredited this mini-miracle. An egg is a self-sufficient store of everything an embryo needs to develop and grow, an incredible concentration of energy, protein and vital nutrients. Understandably, this rich cocktail is quite the tonic for those with reproductionary recreation on their mind.
In ancient Greece, the sparrow was sacred to the love goddess Aphrodite. Sparrow eggs were the most prized of all aphrodisiacs. This belief spread to India with Alexander and was firmly established when the Kama Sutra was written. Those eager to enjoy many women are exhorted to drink deep of a boiled mix of ‘rice and eggs of sparrow with milk, ghee and honey’. In Central America and South-East Asia the aphrodisiac hammer falls upon the unfortunate turtle: the passion for its libido-loosening eggs drives an illicit trade that augurs ill for the survival of the species. Sparrow and turtle eggs may seem a little outlandish but they are nothing compared with the Balut egg aphrodisiac of the Philippines. This is a fertilised and incubated duck egg that rewards the intrepid gastronaut with a meaty egg and the crispy crunch of bone and beak.
Refined and defiantly eccentric, the English upper class may swear by gulls’ eggs, but for the average Joe it is the chicken that provides the everyday egg. Domesticated in the East, the chicken did not reach Western Europe until the fifth century BC and didn’t reach America until Columbus took it there in the fifteenth century. Making up for lost time, the world now gobbles up over one trillion hen’s eggs a year.
Hen’s eggs provide an astonishingly rich nutritional package. I attribute their aphrodisiac efficiency to an unusual and well-balanced bonanza of essential fatty acids. I eulogise elsewhere about the loving effects of tryptophan, lysine, tyrosine, histidine and arginine. The two-egg breakfast provides them all in abundant quantity, more than enough to keep eyes bright, tails bushy and libidos wagging appreciatively.
In gastronomy the egg gets around, not only a principal ingredient in innumerable dishes but an elemental building block in baking, patisserie, pasta and desserts. The taste of an egg will vary according to its freshness and the diet of the mother hen. Every egg in addition to the white and yolk has an air sac under the shell. As the egg ages moisture evaporates, enlarging this air space. If suspicious of your egg’s suitability for an aphrodisiac encounter, drop it into 500 ml of water mixed with 60 g of salt. A fantastically fresh egg will sink, an acceptable egg hovers halfway, whilst the bad egg floats at the surface.
When poaching, the fresh egg is your friend. The gelatinous white clings tightly to the yolk. Poached eggs make admirable brunch dishes coupled with aspagarus or bathed in hollandaise for eggs Benedict. However, to wring out every sensuous drop you simply have to scramble. Serve scattered with chopped anchovy and parsley on a roast field mushroom sitting on a square of fried bread. Egg perfection matched only by the pocket-sized marvel of oeufs en cocotte. These baked beauties are elegant enough to kick off the most refined dinner party – simply top with caviar or match with smoked haddock and a dusting of Parmesan.
Scrambled Eggs with Roast Field Mushroom
Field mushrooms : 2
Salt and pepper : to taste
Butter : 50 g
Eggs : 4
Milk : 2 tbsp
Wholegrain bread : 2 slices
Salted anchovy : 2 fillets
Parsley : 1 sprig
Preheat the oven to 170° C.
First select two very large field mushrooms or Portobello mushrooms. Remove the stalk from each and season with salt and pepper. Place a knob of butter on each and roast in the oven for 30 minutes, basting every so often.
When it comes to making scrambled egg, success is in the detail. The pan must be non-stick (or extremely well seasoned) with a heavy base to keep an even temperature. The eggs must be fresh and the heat must be feeble.
Crack the eggs into a jug and add the milk. With a fork whisk the eggs enough to combine thoroughly but not so much as to aerate the egg mix.
Slice two thick pieces of wholegrain bread, remove the crusts and fry in half the remaining butter until golden brown on both sides.
Rinse the anchovy fillets of excess salt then finely chop.
Strip the parsley from the stem and again chop finely.
Place the remaining butter in your carefully selected non-stick pan and heat moderately until the butter has melted. When it begins to foam pour in your egg mix and reduce to a low heat.
The initial heat will thicken the bottom layer of egg very quickly; gently dislodge this from the base of the pan so it remains in largeish pieces. Continue with this process of allowing a layer of egg to half-form then dislodging it until the scrambled egg is almost ready. Remove from the heat as the residual temperature in the pan will finish the cooking.
Place one square of fried bread in the centre of the serving plate. Top with a baked mushroom and fill the mushroom
with a pile of scrambled egg. Sprinkle the scrambled egg with chopped anchovy and parsley then season with freshly ground pepper.
If you want to turn this into a more formal brunch or supper dish serve with dressed lamb’s leaf lettuce around the mushroom.
Smoked Haddock Oeufs en Cocotte
Milk : 200 ml
Bay leaf : 1
Peppercorns : 3
Smoked haddock : 100 g
Butter : for greasing
Heavy double cream : 60 ml
Eggs : 2
Grated Parmesan : 2 tbsp
Salt and pepper : to taste
Preheat the oven to 200°C.
Heat the milk in a pan with the bay leaf and peppercorns. Bring the milk to a light simmer and allow the flavours to infuse for 5 minutes. Place the haddock into the milk and remove from the heat. The fish will cook as the milk cools. Once the milk is tepid remove the fish and flake, discarding the skin.
Butter two ramekins or cocotte pots. Spoon 1 tablespoon of cream into each ramekin and cover with flaked haddock.
Crack a very large egg into each ramekin, spoon 2 more tablespoons of cream over the egg and cook in a bain-marie in the oven for 10 – 12 minutes.
Remove the eggs from the oven, season with black pepper and sea salt, then sprinkle with the grated Parmesan. Serve immediately with some crusty white bread.
FOIE GRAS
Like mink coats, caviar and champagne, foie gras is a byword for luxury. It is firmly established in the international jet set. If there were such a thing as a gastronomic VIP area, that is where foie gras would be, hobnobbing with aristocrats, oligarchs, beautiful women and Botox. Rich, delicate flavour and satin texture are sensual delights but it is the whiff of power, money and glamour that makes foie gras such a potent aphrodisiac. It’s the law of the jungle; high status means more mating. In our sophisticated world what better way for a bon viveur to signal such status than a foie gras stuffing?
The Aphrodisiac Encyclopaedia Page 4