by Lynn Bulock
“Did you win? Is he in jail?”
“We won, and Convy went to jail. The funny thing was that I felt like I went to jail along with him, just a different kind of jail.”
“I can only imagine. How long did you stay in Cincinnati after the trial?”
“Four months. No matter where I went, it felt like people were staring. Everybody at work knew, my singles group at church, my roommate, everyone. All the plans I’d made before felt flat. Buying my own place was out of the question, because I no longer had any desire to live alone. My family was very supportive, but they all kept saying that I should come home and make a fresh start. When, on top of everything else my father’s cancer became terminal, I knew it was time to come home.”
For a moment the room was silent except for the popping and hissing of the dying fire. After a long while, Jake spoke. “Have you had any serious relationships since you came home?” His tone was quiet and searching.
“None. It was hard just to go back to church at first, or do anything social. I haven’t been on anything you’d call a date in close to five years. So I guess you can see why having you take me in your arms startled me.”
“To say the least.”
She looked over to the other end of the sofa. Jake had put down his mug and was staring at the cooling embers in the fireplace. “So can you understand why I said this can’t happen again?”
“I can. Will you accept my apologies? If I’d have known…”
His tone sounded like pity, and that was the last thing she ever wanted from Jake Montgomery. “There was no way you could have known, Jake.” She got up off the sofa, feeling cold and stiff in the darkening room. “Now why don’t we clear this up and start heading toward the house? The cocoa is cold and it’s time to go. Your family will expect you home tonight.”
Jake nodded and began gathering up the untouched cookie tray and the mugs. It didn’t take long to have the cabin back to the state it had been when they first entered it. Holly looked around the room from the doorway. What a way to spend Christmas Eve, she thought.
Jake came up beside her and scanned the room. “That’s it, then.” He stood for a moment looking into her eyes, then opened his mouth. He said nothing for the longest time, just standing there, looking at her, his hands gently on her shoulders. “No, that’s it, then,” he said again softly and led her outside. Holly hoped that in the darkness he couldn’t see the tears she knew were glittering unshed in her eyes.
Jake felt like an utter, absolute fool. How could he have pressed himself on Holly? Given what she’d been through, it must have seemed like a terrible repeat of old nightmares. Here he was, looking like another wealthy, casual guy out for a good time at her expense. He wondered how long it would be before he could tell her all the things he wanted to tell her, now that he’d heard her story. Maybe once they got back to Colorado Springs…and maybe never.
His throat was so tight right now he could barely force words out. It would be quite a while before he’d be able to tell her how much this week meant to him, especially knowing what he did now about the beautiful woman sitting silently beside him as they drove the back roads of the ranch toward the house.
He was going to miss the quiet of working just with Holly and King in the cabin. Tomorrow he’d be surrounded by his family and by Sunday afternoon or evening, he knew that Rose was going to want to hear everything he had to say in preparation for the trial next week. Their time of relative peace at the ranch was over. As if to underscore that, they pulled up in front of the house where all the lights shone brightly and several cars and trucks clustered outside on the gravel drive.
“I’ll come in for a few minutes,” Jake said. “Help you carry in your things.”
There was a pause when he expected to hear Holly argue, but then she just said, “Okay. Thanks,” and started taking her suitcases from the back of the Jeep. “That box in the corner there is full of wrapped presents. If you want to carry that in, it would help.”
Jake nodded and did as he was told, marveling again at the forethought Holly had shown. While he was planning what files to bring this week she had been looking ahead to Christmas and wrapping her family’s gifts. He looked down at the contents of the box, conscious that he had a few problems in that category. While he’d had Holly take care of his mother’s present, he had fallen down on the job with everybody else. Here it was, late on Christmas Eve and he was presentless for virtually everybody he knew.
As he followed Holly into the warm, brightly lit house, she motioned toward the living room, where a magnificent tree stood near the fieldstone fireplace. “Just set them down there and I’ll put them where they belong later,” she told him.
She disappeared around the corner with her suitcases, and Jake could hear her calling to Dorothy and Mike. Then there were the happy noises of King and Molly bounding down a hallway toward each other, in greeting. Holly and King came back into the living room. “If you look in the Jeep in the same corner of the back that you just took that box from, you’ll find another one,” she told him. “I took the liberty while I was shopping to do a little more with you in mind. I didn’t wrap anything in case what I chose doesn’t suit you, but I think you’ll find gifts for Adam and Kate, your father and Colleen.”
“Wow. You really are amazing, do you know that?” Jake was surprised at Holly’s reaction. She looked away from him, bending down to pay attention to King.
“Nowhere near amazing, Jake. But I am a good shopper, and I’ve seen how wrapped up in the Barclay information you’ve been. There’s one small thing that’s already wrapped and has a tag on it. My gift to you. Nothing much.” She was still looking at the dog while she talked to Jake.
Jake started beating himself up mentally. Not only did he have nothing for Holly, but he had no way to tell her that he’d already gotten more in the way of gifts from her than he could ever repay. “You really shouldn’t have done that,” he said, aware of how lame it sounded even as he spoke.
“Well, I did, so it’s done,” Holly said firmly, looking up at him again. “Now come in and say goodbye, so that you can get on the road before it gets too late.”
Dutifully he followed her into the kitchen, where Dorothy and Mike sat in the kitchen, along with Holly’s mother. “Good to see you again,” he told Marilyn, meaning it this time.
“And it’s good to see you, too, Jake. Merry Christmas,” Mrs. Vance said.
He passed on Dorothy’s offer of any more food or visiting, telling everyone he needed to get on the road and get back for his family Christmas, which was more than true.
“I’ll walk you out,” Mike told him, the two of them going out the back door before Holly could protest, and walking around the house together, but alone.
“The county sheriff’s trucks have been cruising by the ranch on a regular basis,” Mike said. “I don’t know what you two are involved in, but it’s obviously serious.”
“It is, but nothing I can’t handle,” Jake said, wishing he felt that confident about all the trouble he’d caused Holly. At least about the stalker, he felt that nothing would come along now that he couldn’t handle, anyway.
“I can keep an eye on her tonight, and tomorrow, but once you two are back in the city, I expect you to look after Holly.” Mike had a serious expression Jake could read even in the faint light that came through the windows of the house.
“Don’t worry. I won’t let her out of my sight until she’s safe at home. And I’ve got a few other things in mind that will keep her even safer,” he told Mike, mentally noting that he needed to call Mike’s cousin Peter Vance and see if Peter’s brother Travis still had the range of private investigation hardware he’d known him to have in the past.
“See that you do,” Mike said, clapping a hand on your shoulder. “Now I believe we’re about to get company.” They were to the front of the house now, and Holly stood there with King by her side. Calling to his dog, Mike went inside to let them say their goodbyes.
&nbs
p; After what they’d been through in the last hour, Jake was afraid to touch Holly. He stood in front of her, anxious to get on the road, unsure of how much to say. His nerve failed him. “I’ll see you Sunday, right?”
“Right. Drive carefully.”
“I will.” He headed to the Jeep, having one last thought that made him stop and look at Holly again. “Plan on a long time with Rose. She’s ruthless.”
Holly rolled her eyes. “I already know that. She’s my cousin, remember? You should see what she’s like at Scrabble.” And on that lighter note they parted and Jake felt any chance of telling Holly what was on his mind evaporate.
Chapter Eight
“All right, what’s up?” Marilyn Vance plopped herself down beside her daughter on Mike’s worn couch. Like most of the furniture on the ranch, the couch was old and well loved. It was a comfortable spot to seek solace, and Holly had been doing just that. Even in this sprawling ranch house, though, she could only hide from her mother so long.
“You barely touched dinner. And you looked like you were on automatic pilot at church, when eleven o’clock on Christmas Eve is usually your favorite service of the year. I know this had to be a hard week, Holly, but just being tired doesn’t account for the way you look tonight.”
Holly shook her head. “You’re right, Mom. I’m a lot more than just tired. It was a long, hard week and that’s part of it. But there’s a lot more to things than that. Things came up between us in the course of the week, and just before we left the cabin in the afternoon, I told Jake about Victor Convy.”
“What did he say? And why did you tell him? It’s not the kind of thing I’d think your boss would have to know about.”
Holly pulled the blanket that was usually draped over the back of the couch tighter around her shoulders. She’d been cold since leaving the cabin, and the nubby wool was a comfort. “He didn’t say much afterward. He looked angry, not at me, but at Convy, and just…I don’t know, at life, somehow. He’s seen a lot as an FBI agent, and I guess this is just one more confirmation that there are a lot of bad people out there.”
Marilyn Vance shook her head. “We all knew that already. And I have to suspect that it wasn’t something related to your work, even prosecuting somebody like Alistair Barclay, that led to this decision to tell Jake about what happened in Ohio.” Her mother took her hand, and Holly was surprised to find how warm her mother’s hand was, and how cool her own felt in comparison.
“You’re right again. I think I’ve gone and fallen in love with Jake, which is impossible,” she said, trying not to cry. “And until tonight he might have had some kind of feelings for me, although with Jake it’s hard to tell. He kissed me the other day, Mom, and I liked it. A lot.”
“That’s wonderful. I’ve been praying for five years that some man would find a way to give you back what that monster stole from you.”
“Mom, we both know that I can’t get back what Convy stole,” Holly said softly.
“No, I don’t just mean what he took physically. I mean your confidence in yourself, and your feelings as a woman. He stole those, too, you know. But they can be returned.” They sat together for quite a while in silence, and then Marilyn turned to face her daughter. “Now, since it’s obvious that neither of us will go to sleep for a while, please explain to me why it’s impossible for you to be in love with Jake Montgomery. Frankly, I couldn’t think of a better candidate to be in love with, if he’d just settle down a little.”
“That’s just it,” Holly said, working hard so that her words didn’t come out as a wail. “If Jake wanted to settle down, wouldn’t he do it with one of the dozen or more cute, rich little blondes that he’s dated on and off for years?”
“Nonsense. I went to school with his mother, all the way from kindergarten on up, and I can only imagine what a sensible woman like Liza Kinally would have said if her son would have brought home one of those silly little girls and announced that she was going to be his future bride.”
Somehow her mother’s statement struck her as the funniest thing that she’d heard in a week, but Holly tried not to laugh because she could see that Marilyn was perfectly serious. She honestly thought that Jake would put that much store in what his mother felt about his choice of a wife. But then, before she opened her mouth, memories of Jake’s actions came back to her. He did care about pleasing his mother. That much was clear in the fact that hers was the only Christmas present he’d made an effort to secure before their work on the trial. And Liza was a serious, godly woman. Maybe her mother had a point after all.
“I still think that the one who has the final say in whom Jake Montgomery marries will be no one but Jake,” Holly said.
“And that’s as it should be. I didn’t mean to imply otherwise,” her mom said. “But tell the truth, now. If you were in Jake’s shoes, who would you rather take home to mother? One of those interchangeable blondes from the society pages, or a nice girl like you?”
Spoken like a true mother, Holly thought. At least this discussion with her mom was lifting her spirits. Sitting here with her mom patting her knee, she felt better than she expected she would. Maybe things weren’t quite as dark as they’d seemed in the cabin after all.
Christmas Day dawned bright and clear. Jake felt as chilled as the crisp, sparkling landscape outside when he left his loft to join the rest of the family at Good Shepherd. After spending a little over a week with Holly in a space far smaller than his apartment, the loft felt huge, cold and empty. What had previously looked like spare, clean lines in decorating seemed stark now, especially since there wasn’t a single Christmas decoration of any kind, unless you counted the pile of cards other people had sent him. They lay strewn on his glass-topped coffee table, providing the one note of color.
He walked out into the cold air with his small box of presents. It was so incredibly thoughtful of Holly to do his shopping, and even more thoughtful of her to leave everything unwrapped, yet provide the wrapping paper, tape and scissors in the box so that he could put things together. Jake decided she knew him all too well at this point, since she could predict that he would have left the shopping for everybody else until it was too late. At the same time, Holly was still a mystery to him in so many important ways. Maybe when this trial was over in a week or two, he could start working on exploring those mysteries. He hoped so, anyway. For now he had to focus on Christmas morning without her.
The one bright note to the morning was anticipating his mother’s face. What would she say when he walked into church on time, even a little bit early, wearing a suit and smiling? It was worth the struggle to get up and dressed and load everything into Holly’s Jeep just to see the look of surprise he knew his mom would have.
Liza didn’t disappoint him. Her smile rivaled her new daughter-in-law Kate’s for brilliance in the crowded church. All three of the women in Jake’s newly enlarged family hugged him after he slipped into the pew where they were gathered.
“A suit?” his sister Colleen said, just above a whisper. “And showing up for services without a reminder call or anything? You sure you aren’t sick, Jake?”
“Not in the least. In fact, I don’t know when I’ve felt better,” he told her, smiling back. It was always fun to leave Colleen mystified. Her reporter’s curiosity would drive her nuts now for the rest of the day, just trying to figure out what he was up to.
He shook hands with his father and Adam, glad to see that Adam’s return handshake and shoulder clap were heartier now than they’d been even a month ago. He seemed to be over any lasting effects of his gunshot wound earlier in the year. “You’re coming back for Christmas dinner, aren’t you?” his mother asked once he settled into the pew.
“Sure. I wouldn’t miss it,” he said, wondering what prompted that question. He hadn’t missed a holiday dinner of any kind at his parents’ house since he’d moved out over a decade before.
The slight look of worry his mother’s eyes had held cleared. “Good. When I saw you here, I thought may
be you were working so hard on the case that you were coming to church instead of spending the rest of the day with us.”
He took his mother’s small, soft hand and squeezed it. “Mom, if you can believe it, I’m here because I want to be. Because I felt like coming to join the rest of you here in God’s house to celebrate the day.”
He wasn’t prepared for the tears that sprang to her eyes, even though her smile was more brilliant than before. “Jake, you don’t know how long I’ve prayed to hear just that from you. No matter what else you got me for Christmas, it won’t compare to the gift you just gave me.” She leaned over quickly and kissed him on the cheek, then settled back into her seat.
The organ music swelled just then, and there was no time for a reply as the Christmas Day services at Good Shepherd got under way. So Jake sat silently and mulled over the fact that he had yet another thing to thank Holly for when he saw her tomorrow. The list was growing to such proportions that he was going to need an entire candlelit dinner after Barclay’s trial simply to tell her all of them.
Jake truly hadn’t realized what a stranger he’d been around Good Shepherd until he met Reverend Dawson on the way out of the church. The handsome minister, greeting people in the narthex after the service, shook Jake’s hand warmly, then looked around behind him. “Funny, I don’t see any ghosts. And you didn’t bring Tiny Tim either.” He looked over at Jake’s mother, who was talking with Kate several people down the line to greet him. “Or did you arrange your son’s appearance, Mrs. Montgomery?”
“Hey, Pastor Gabriel, this is all my own doing,” Jake said, grinning over the Scrooge reference the man had made. “And you can count on seeing plenty of me from now on. I can’t make a promise about every week, because of job travel, but I want to see a lot more of the inside of this place.”
“Great. I look forward to it.”
“So do I,” said his mother firmly, from her position next to Jake where she’d caught up with him in line. “Merry Christmas, Gabriel. Your daughters look very pretty in their Christmas dresses.”