“Aw, that’s sweet. I don’t think it worked, but it’s sweet.”
“I’m sure Jerome’s a good guy,” I said. “You wouldn’t date someone who wasn’t.” I hated bringing the guy into our moment, but I needed to know he was good to her.
“Sure. But life is never as simple as a constellation story, is it? A good guy deserves a woman who can give him everything, who isn’t a burden to him, who doesn’t have any baggage.”
“Everyone’s got baggage,” I said. “I’ve got a big family who shows up uninvited whenever they feel like it. If you can’t handle someone else’s baggage, you shouldn’t be in a relationship.”
“Some baggage is more than anyone should burden another person with.” She yawned.
“You’re exhausted. We should go.”
“Just tell me one more story.”
So, I told her about the cockroach reunion, because we all know that cockroaches never die, they float up into the universe and become stars. I was laughing at my own story when I realized Dilly wasn’t laughing. She was asleep on my shoulder, her breathing deep and even. My hilarious story had put her to sleep.
I planned wake her up, but, for the moment, I just wanted to lay there and have a few more moments to enjoy the feel of her in my arms. Just a few more moments turned into a few more and, soon, my eyes drifted shut. I’d rest. Just for a minute.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Dilly
“Hi,” I said with a smile. “Come on in.”
Leah edged into the library conference room, looking oddly nervous. Mary and Norma Jane were already seated for our book club meeting and chatting in low voices while we waited for the other members of our group to arrive. I still felt relaxed and easy from my stargazing with Oscar and the rest of my weekend. I hadn’t seen him since we’d woken up together on the mountain, but I hadn’t been avoiding him. I’d just been busy. Mom had been calm and quiet, and I’d used my weekend to catch up with friends. I’d tried to enjoy it, but Mom never stayed quiet for long and her quiet moments usually precipitated a storm. I couldn’t seem to muster up the energy to worry about that or anything else. I’d woken up in a meadow with Oscar’s arms around me, the sun just rising over the trees. I’d been so cold in the early morning spring air my teeth had been chattering, but I hadn’t moved, hadn’t tried to wake Oscar. I’d just taken a moment to enjoy how happy I was, how nice it felt in his arms.
My chattering teeth had woken him anyway. He’d sat up and grabbed more blankets to wrap around us and then he’d pulled me tight against him, rubbing my arms to warm me up. We’d watched the sunrise together and I’d never felt more alive, happier, or safer in my life. I’d also never felt more wired with lust and need. It had taken everything in me not to turn in his arms and kiss him, but he’d seemed totally unaffected by our proximity. He’d joked about us watching sunrises together the way we watched sunsets together, as though the thought of a repeat of that moment wouldn’t tempt him at all. He thought of me as a friend, despite that hot kiss, and that was good, because I didn’t want to lose him. We’d walked back to the car together and he’d kept his arm around me the whole way. I was plenty warm, but I let him think I was still cold, because I didn’t want him to let me go.
“What are you smiling about?” Betty asked. She was the last to arrive and her frown was more pronounced than usual.
“She’s probably thinking of her boyfriend,” Mary said. She leaned over Norma Jane to stare me down. “Were you thinking of your man, Dilly?”
“Oscar?” I asked, before I caught myself.
Norma Jane gasped, and Mary hooted with glee. “Did you two finally get together?”
“No,” I said. “Of course not. I’m still with Jerome. It’s just that the last time I talked to y’all you were making a big deal out of that kiss and—”
“She’s probably seeing the both of them,” Betty said. “Girls today have no boundaries. Bunch of loose floozies.”
“I’m not seeing both of them,” I said. “Betty, are you having a bad day?”
She waved a hand. “No one cares about my troubles.”
Of course, the others all cared immensely and badgered her to tell them what was going on. As it turned out, her grandson had just gotten engaged to a woman Betty didn’t think was right for him. The other women commiserated and promised to help. I chuckled to myself. I could only imagine how they’d interfere with his love life.
“What did y’all think of the book?” I asked to get things rolling.
“Well, I just loved it,” Mary said. “I couldn’t put it down. The scene where the dog is lost, and they think he’s been killed after being hit by that car…I cried, Dilly. I really did.”
“So, did I,” Leah said. “That dog may have been my favorite character.”
“I did wonder though,” Norma Jane said. “Would a priest really visit a dog at an animal hospital? Would Jerome ever do something like that?” Norma Jane narrowed her gaze and all the women were suddenly laser focused on me, even Betty.
“He’s never mentioned visiting an animal,” I said. “But in the book, it was a special case because the priest was a good friend of the family and he wanted to make the little boy feel better.”
“I like a book that’s realistic,” Mary said. “Since you have a direct line to someone doing God’s work, why don’t you find out for us if your Jerome would ever visit an injured animal?”
The women all leaned forward, staring me down, and my amusement at their interference with Betty’s nephew died a quick death. Was this my punishment for silently laughing at him? “You want me to call Jerome? Now?”
“Well, why not, dear?” Norma Jane said. “We all want to know.”
“He’s at work,” I said. “I couldn’t possibly disturb him.”
“Is he?” Mary asked. “Does he have a second job?”
“Well, no, of course not.”
“Everyone knows preachers only work on Sunday,” Betty said. “He’s got nothing better to do, so just call him, girl.”
Did preachers only work on Sunday? I probably should have researched my fake boyfriend’s profession at some point, or maybe attended church for the first time in twelve years. “You know,” I said. “I think we should continue talking about the book. Jerome may only work on Sundays but he…He volunteers all the time and he…Well, that sermon isn’t going to write itself, you know.”
“Where does he volunteer?” Leah asked, all sweet innocence. I’d always thought she was the nicest one of the group, but now that she was ganging up on me, too…
“The foster…Um, you know, the orphanage.”
“I don’t think they call them orphanages any more, Dilly,” Norma Jane said, her lips pursed.
“Right.” I was sweating. Why was I sweating? And why were they suddenly so interested in my love life? They’d never questioned me before…Had they? I might not have noticed, because in the past my boyfriends had been real or at least well-planned and researched. Jerome had been created in a hurry because everyone had heard about my break-up with the open-marriage professor. Professor of adultery? I just had to focus and remember what they called orphanages now. “I meant…Um, group homes for foster kids.”
“How sweet of him,” Leah said. Why were her eyes narrowed? And was that sarcasm in her tone? What the hell was going on?
“What’s the name of his church, dear?” Mary asked. “I used the Internet and searched all the churches in Carmichael and Richmond, but none of them are led by anyone named Jerome.”
Okay, this was going too far. “Why would you do that?”
“Because she thinks you’re lying,” Betty said, her expression pinched like she’d tasted something sour. “We all think you’re lying.”
“Betty, hush,” Norma Jane said.
Betty glared at Norma Jane and rolled her eyes, but she didn’t say any more.
Okay, now I was sweating and my stomach hurt. Was I coming down with something? “Why would you think…I mean, why would I li
e about something like that?”
“That’s what we want to know,” Mary said. “Why are you lying about having a boyfriend, Dilly? You know we all love you and want the best for you. We think Oscar is the best for you, so we did a little research to check out his competition, but nothing was adding up.”
And now my fear of being caught out in a lie was turning to anger. “Who I date or don’t date isn’t your business, ladies. I do just fine on my own.”
“If you were doing just fine, you wouldn’t have been shacking up with a guy who was married,” Leah said. I stared at her in shock. I hadn’t realized she had it in her.
Norma Jane took my hands in both of hers and gave them a squeeze. “We feel like you’re one of ours, Dilly, and we want you to be happy. Just tell us the name of the church where your boyfriend works or bring him in, so we can meet him. That way, we can see for ourselves what a good guy he is and we won’t have to worry anymore.”
I had enough trouble with my mother worrying about me, I didn’t need a whole posse of women worrying about me, too. There was only one safe way out of this situation, only one way to make sure they went back to paying me only the most minimal attention. I’d just have to hope Oscar didn’t hate me for throwing him under the bus. “The truth is, Jerome and I broke up. I couldn’t do the long-distance thing anymore. I’m dating Oscar, now, so you don’t need to worry.”
The room erupted in cheers and smiles. Even Betty smiled. It was a small smile, but it still counted.
“Now that’s settled, can we talk about the book?”
Everyone agreed to do what we were there to do and chatted about the book. I was relieved when the meeting was finally over. I stood at the door and wished them a good week as they filed out. Mary was the last to leave and she stopped in front of me, her expression creased with worry. “I stopped by your mother’s place again yesterday,” she said. “I knocked, and I heard someone moving around in there, but she didn’t answer the door.”
“She…She wears noise-canceling headphones when she’s working,” I said. “She probably just didn’t hear you.”
Mary pinched her lips tight and put a hand on my shoulder. “Have her call me, dear, at her earliest convenience. She was my daughter’s friend in high school, you know. Always such a sweet, well-mannered girl, your mother was. I’d like to know how she’s doing.”
“She’s doing great.”
Mary nodded, doubt in her eyes. “Just have her call me, Daffodil.”
Mary walked away, and my head started to pound. On the one hand, I wanted to be angry at Mary and the others for interrogating me, but on the other hand, I knew they only did it because they cared about me. They loved me like one of their own grandkids and I’d lied to them. I lied to them every day. I was the worst kind of person. I wrapped my arms tight around my belly and swallowed hard. I hated this. I hated lying and I hated even more that I was certain all my secrets were going to be discovered and my life would change in ways I couldn’t even imagine.
I squeezed myself harder. Maybe it was time to stop keeping secrets, maybe it was time to admit the truth. My mother was mentally ill, it was nothing to be ashamed of…My mother would never see it that way, but maybe a visit with Mary would bring Mom some happiness, maybe it would help her forget her fears for a moment.
“Hey, Dilly,” Gill, the director of the children’s’ library, said as he passed. “You feeling okay?”
“I’m wonderful.” Apparently, I just couldn’t stop lying. “Just about to head over to Seven Oaks for their session today.”
“Great.” He stepped closer and gave me a warm smile. He was a kind man and his husband made the best chocolate chip cookies I’d ever tasted. None of us who worked at the library asked for cake on our birthday anymore, we all asked for Ed’s chocolate chip cookies. “If you have time later, I’d like to discuss an idea I had for a children’s program that might combine with your outreach.”
“Cool. I should be back around two. I’ll come by your office.”
He slapped my shoulder. “I’ll see you then.”
I watched him walk away and rubbed my aching temples. I had no one to blame but myself for this mess I was in. I was just going to have to buck up and get over it.
***
My head ached, and I was exhausted when I turned to my front walk and saw Oscar sitting on the porch. After a busy day at work, I’d stopped by Mom’s and had tried to convince her to call Mary. She’d screamed at me for not telling Mary right away that it was impossible. I’d tried to explain that Mary was only worried about her, but Mom wasn’t hearing it. She launched into a tirade about how this was just another ruse to get her to move to New Hampshire and, if I really loved her, I’d protect her from nosy people. Then, she’d started in on all the times I’d let her down and how selfish I was and how I was probably wishing for her to die. I wished my aunt was there to help, but she’d called me the day before and told me she was going to stay longer in Italy.
Now, I had to face Oscar, who’d probably heard about me telling the biggest gossips in town that we were dating. All I wanted to do was take some aspirin and go to bed, but I’d started a rumor about us and I needed to beg for his forgiveness.
He looked up from his book as I started down the walk. He looked pissed. His jaw was tight and his whole posture was stiff. I fought the urge to turn and run away, mostly because I lived there and I wanted to go to bed more than I wanted anything else at the moment.
“You heard,” I said, when I reached him.
He looked up at me. “I heard.”
“I’m really sorry. It’s just that they were grilling me about Jerome and I…I just wanted them to stop worrying about me. They’d decided that you and I should be…”
I’d been looking at the sidewalk, trying to explain and then Oscar’s hands were on me, one cupping my chin, the other in my hair and his lips were on mine. I wish I could say the kiss made me forget all about my headache and my exhaustion. It was a damn good kiss, but it wasn’t magical. I’d had such a rough day and I was so relieved that he wasn’t pissed at me, and overwhelmed with so many emotions that I pushed him away, dropped my head in my hands and did something I never, ever do. I cried.
“Shit,” he said. “I’m sorry. I thought—”
I looked up at him. I’m sure I looked like a crazy, red-eyed raccoon with mascara running down my cheeks and my face all red and blotchy. “It’s not you…I just…I’ve had the worst day and you…You’re such a good guy and I’m…” I was interrupted by a sob. “I’m a horrible person.”
“You’re not a horrible person,” he said. Was he smiling? He didn’t believe me?
“I am. I’ve been lying to you. There’s no Jerome. There’s never been a Jerome.”
Confusion twisted his brow, but he didn’t ask any questions. He just pulled me into his arms and hugged me so tight it made me cry harder. He rubbed my back while I cried like a big, slobbery mess. I didn’t think I needed to worry about not being good enough for him anymore. I doubted he’d want me anymore.
When I finally pulled myself together and stopped crying, he leaned back and studied my face. “Have you had dinner?”
The crying had made my head pound like I had a crew of construction workers in there, but my stomach still got into the action with a loud growl. “I kind of forgot about dinner.” I thought back through my day. “I don’t think I had lunch either.”
He stood and offered me a hand up. “Come on. I’ll make you something. I’d say we should go to your place, but I doubt you have anything decent to eat in there.”
“I don’t,” I said, without even having to think about it. “I really don’t. Wait, where’s Buddy?”
“He’s at my place. I took him for a walk when I got home, and he decided he wanted to hang out inside for the evening.”
I considered following Buddy’s lead and running home to hide at my place, but I was starving and exhausted and my head hurt. If I went home, I wouldn’t have the energy to
make anything and I’d probably starve to death.
I found Buddy in his dog bed in Oscar’s living room, a bone in his mouth and about ten dog toys snuggled around him. “No wonder he didn’t want to go outside,” I said. “When did you get all this stuff?”
“He gets sad when you aren’t here. I may have gone a bit overboard trying to cheer him up.”
Buddy looked up at me, his tongue hanging out in a doggy grin. I went over and gave him a hug, wrapping my arms around him and petting him. “Good to see you, Buddy. I missed you, too.”
Buddy had no interest in leaving his doggy bed of fun, so I took a seat on the couch. Oscar was already in the kitchen pulling out pots and pans. “I’ll put together something quick. What would you like to drink? I’ve got wine.”
I cringed. I could only imagine what I’d say if I added wine to my empty stomach and emotional state. “I’m good with a glass of water. Thank you, Oscar. You have every right to be furious with me.”
He stopped and looked at me. “We’ll talk about all of that after you’ve eaten. Right now, just know that I’m not even a tiny bit mad at you, much less furious. Okay?”
“Maybe I was wrong,” I said. “Maybe you aren’t a good guy. Maybe you’re crazy.”
He chuckled and went back to cooking. I sipped my glass of water and set it on the coffee table. Then, I leaned my head back on the couch and let my eyes drift shut. The way my head was pounding, I figured I’d never fall asleep, but just seconds later, Oscar was shaking me awake and I was blinking at him, trying to remember where I was and what I’d been doing.
The Good Guy on my Porch (Catalpa Creek #3) Page 17