by Neil Hartley
"You mentioned a Golem was after you yes?" Asked the Fearie.
"Yes."
"Big fellow, glowing red eyes is he?"
"Where is it?" asked Redthorne.
"Back aways. I don't think it saw me. It was just standing there, not moving."
"Maybe it's run out of magic or something," said Percy.
"We should be so lucky," said Dreth. "Ah, here's Cuthbert. About time! Anything up there?"
"Uuuh hhhhhuuu!!!" said Cuthbert, pointing urgently down the corridor he had just explored.
"What's that?" said Dreth.
"Uuuu uuuuuhh uuuh hhhhuuuu!!" repeated the zombie, jumping up and down.
"What did he say?" asked Redthorne.
"I'm not sure. Something about cake may be?" Dreth frowned.
"I think he said 'two eyes'," said Sprat.
"Eye cake?" asked Smudge.
"Uuuhh Hhhuuuu!!!" Cuthbert grabbed at his head in frustration, then stopped suddenly as an idea came to him. He held up 4 fingers.
"Fingers?" asked Percy, puzzled.
"Oh wait! I used to play this when I was alive," said Dreth, then wrinkled his brow. "I think. Four words?" He turned to Cuthbert who nodded, pointed and touched his nose.
"Is there something wrong with his nose now?" Percy said, still catching up.
"First word," said Dreth, as Cuthbert held up a finger.
"Small?" guessed Redthorne.
"A small word?" asked Smudge, hovering near the wall.
"The?" said the mage.
"And? IF? At? A? A! The first word is 'A'." Dreth folded his arms in satisfaction.
"Fourth word," Smudge said.
"Dance!" Percy finally caught on as Cuthbert gesticulated wildly.
Cuthbert frowned at him and shook his head.
"Drink?" said Dreth, then as the zombie changed actions... "Lean against the wall? Talk?"
"Party!" said Redthorne, as inspiration struck.
"Party. The fourth word is party. A something something party," said Smudge.
"Second word," Dreth said, beginning to enjoy himself.
"Thinking!"
Cuthbert scowled and scratched his head.
"Scratch! OW!" Percy rubbed his arm where Dreth had hit him.
Cuthbert looked at the floor, hoping for inspiration, then clicked his fingers and cupped his hand around his ear.
"Ear."
"No no, sounds like," corrected Smudge.
"Sounds like... pain?"
"No. Injury? Hurt? Ouch? Ow? Ow! Sounds like 'ow' "
"Now?"
"Wow?
Cuthbert pulled the top of ears up.
"Drow?" said Dreth, and Cuthbert pointed at him. "Shit. A Drow Elf party."
The zombie touched at his nose and nodded madly, pointing up the passageway.
"Oh, oh! I have one! I have one! Let me have a go!" Percy waved his hands about wildly.
Dreth ignored him. "So we have Drow one way, Mr. Red eyes down that way, and our good friends the Elven hunters somewhere behind us." He looked at Redthorne as Cuthbert bent over the dead elf and began fiddling about with the mouth.
"It seems very crowded in here suddenly," he said, narrowing his eyes in thought and rubbing his chin.
"Don't forget the invisible wolf-men," said the wizard, in what sounded like overly casual tones.
"Finally! Everyone look! Look at me! I have a new tongue! A shiny new elf tongue! I can talk again! I can probably speak Elvish and everything." Cuthbert danced about, sticking his new body part out so everyone could see. "Hey, where did the Fearie go?"
Dreth looked about, down all three corridors. "I don't know, but I'm getting a bad feeling about all of this..."
* * *
Holding the Baby.
Dreth looked at Redthorne holding the baby and frowned. "Groups of Woodland Elf Hunters don't go dungeon delving; they are just not the type. And suddenly there's a pack of Drow wandering about as well. They wouldn't be seeking treasure here." He pointed a bony finger. "And I don't think you were surprised to find that baby either." He tapped the pommel of Darkblood meaningfully. "Start talking."
The wizard scowled. "Pah, very well. This elf," he jiggled the baby, "is what I actually came here looking for. I've been sent to retrieve it by my Order. It was a stroke of luck finding it so easily, I must admit."
"You came to this dungeon looking for a baby elf?" asked Percy. "Not the treasure? It's very fabled our treasure you know."
"The treasure means nothing to me," said the mage. "The baby is what I wanted."
"So you have it now, why not just leave?" asked Dreth.
"Amazing! Doesn't want the treasure," Percy muttered to himself.
"It's not as simple as that. I don't know my way out of here, and I can't teleport far accurately enough with the baby to get outside, for technical reasons. I figured the best chance I have of staying alive is to stick with you, at least until a better choice comes along, but that's not too likely in this place."
"Can I have your share of the gold then?" asked Percy.
"So what's so special about this infant?" Dreth said, ignoring the zombie.
"This baby is destined to save the world from great evil. When he's older of course. The elves are no doubt from his tribe, out looking for him. The loss of a young one would be very disturbing to them."
"Or magical artifacts, I like magical artifacts."
"Shut up Percy," said Dreth. Then to the wizard: "So why not just give them the baby back? They're on the side of Good aren't they? It would get them off our backs at least."
"Pah, elves." Redthorne made a face. "They'll just take him back to their bloody forest and hide him away. 'Non interference of destiny'," he made the 'speech marks' sign with his hands. "You know how elves are. He needs training if he's to survive. To survive, grow up and be able to save us that is. My order can give him that training. Such a thing must not be left to chance."
Dreth looked at the zombies. "I don't know," he said.
"I say we hand them both over to the Drow, they might help us if we do," said Cuthbert.
"Just leave the wizard to it, he's dragging us down," interjected Percy.
"It's no good arguing, those choices are risky to you too," said Redthorne, obviously not liking where the conversation was heading. "What are we going to do? Where can we go now?"
"I don't know. It's not like a door is just going to open up conveniently to let us through, is it?" asked Dreth.
There was a grating noise from behind him. Part of the wall slid back, to reveal an entranceway.
"How did you do that Uncle Dreth?" asked Sprat.
"Never mind," said Cuthbert, "never look a gift unicorn in the eye. Come on." He heaved on the dead elf and pulled it into their unexpected escape route.
Dreth shrugged and followed him, as did the others. Once the last of them were inside, the wall slid shut again, blocking the exit.
"So now what?" asked Redthorne, looking about. They were in another service tunnel, slightly narrower than the main passage, but made of the same gray stone.
"I think we're supposed to follow this character," said Dreth, pointing at the large half cat, half man creature that had suddenly appeared in front of them. Standing on two legs, the muscular beast was human shaped, yet covered with a light brown fur. Startling green eyes stared out over a snub black nose and a mouth filled with sharp teeth. It was naked except for a pair of ragged shorts, and was gesturing at him with a clawed hand.
The others looked at each other. Percy crossed his eyes and put a finger to his head, making the 'mental' gesture. "Er, who would that be then?"
"This chap here, he's standing right in front of you," replied Dreth.
Cuthbert looked at Redthorne, who was frowning. "He's gone. Eaten too many brains, that's his problem. I always said the old gray matter was bad for you. Makes you unbalanced. Not enough nutritious fat content."
"I'm not unbalanced," said Dreth, annoyed now. Then something occurred to him. "Oh."
"That's the spirit," said Percy, patting him gently on the shoulder. "The first step to recovery is recognizing you have a problem."
"The only problem I have just now is you two imbeciles!" retorted Dreth, shrugging off the zombie. "There is a cat-man creature standing right here. He's obviously invisible."
"Of course, invisible," said Cuthbert, winking at Percy. "Humor him," he mouthed.
Dreth smacked him about the head. "Morons! This blade has the power to see the invisible. Yonder fellow is no doubt one of the creatures that attacked the elves. Wizard, can't you detect it?"
"Wait a minute," replied Redthorne, "I can do one better." He put the baby in a special sling he had rigged up to enable him to keep his hands free, and cast a short spell.
There was a general wobbling of the air, and suddenly the zombies jumped.
"Oh, him," said Cuthbert. "Invisible was he?"
Dreth ignored him. "Lead on," he said to the cat-man, who turned and loped off down the corridor.
He started after him, followed by Redthorne. Cuthbert and Percy each took a leg of the dead elf and dragged the body behind them, Sprat sat on the chest, enjoying the ride.
~ * ~
Harm stalked down the passageway, following his scouts.
"It's just down here," said Smudge in a low voice. "They're trapped between you, those elves and the Golem."
"You had better be right," said the Drow leader. "I've lost too many of my men as it is, curse this trap riddled maze." He made a quick hand signal to his troops, and they drew their weapons.
"Watch out for Dreth, he's strong and fast, you'll have to immobilize him. And the wizard is dangerous too. The zombies are nothing," said Smudge, hovering over Harm's head. "Just around that corner." She pointed.
Harm made a curt gesture, shutting the Fearie up. His men crept forward and one of them peered cautiously down the corridor. After a short pause he stepped forward, moving out of Harm's sight for a moment. A second later he returned. "Nothing, there's no one there."
Harm looked at the Fearie.
"I swear! They were there just a few minutes ago! They can't have gone far! Maybe they're using invisibility, or perhaps Redthorne's teleported them!" Smudge flitted about nervously under Harm's angry gaze.
The Drow looked at his mage, Kruel Darkhand, and jerked his head. She nodded and walked around the corner. He followed.
"Nothing," she said, after casting her senses wide. "Nothing invisible in sight, if you see what I mean. And I would detect a manna residue from a powerful spell like teleport."
Harm drew a deep breath and his sword at the same time. "Fearie," he started. "I would like to make a short sharp point..."
"Sir! Something approaching," one of his scouts interrupted the pending execution. "It's big whatever it is."
"The Golem!" squeaked Smudge. "We're undone! It will butcher us all."
"Quiet you," said Harm. He looked around. "Battle formation. If this thing's half as bad as I've heard, we'll be lucky to escape with our lives should it think badly of us. I do the talking." He cast another look at the Fearie, who nodded.
The Drow spread out, swords drawn as heavy footsteps approached. Harm couldn't see anything with his infravision, but the two dots of red light were hard to overlook.
The Golem stopped in front of the elves and looked around. Its gaze came to rest on Harm, and it stepped closer. Bending down to face the Leader it spoke:
"Where is Dreth?"
"Honestly? I've no idea," replied Harm coolly. "But it may interest you to know..." He was cut off as the Golem rumbled threateningly.
"He's been here recently, I can smell him. Tell me where he went." The eyes pulsed.
The Drow put out a hand in a calming gesture. "Look, I don't know. However, my diminutive friend here," he pointed at Smudge, "says a wizard has the item we're searching for, and he is traveling with your friend. We're both after the same group. You want this Dreth fellow, and we're after the wizard. If you pat our backs, we'll scratch yours." Harm wondered what could actually scratch the animation. He made a mental note to confer with his mage later.
The Golem stood upright again, towering over the Drow. After a moment of contemplation it looked at Harm. "What do you propose?"
~ * ~
The cat-man turned another corner, and the group hurried to keep up.
"Slow down there," grumbled Percy.
"Drop the dead elf," said Dreth. "It's just slowing us down."
"Bah, alright for you to say, with your bag of tasty body parts," said Cuthbert.
Dreth stopped suddenly and drew Darkblood. The zombies squealed and jumped backwards as he strode towards them. Raising the sword he hacked once, twice, four times. Sheathing the blade again he picked up the now severed legs and arms and put them in his sack before turning to the undead.
"Now, leave the torso. You can have the limbs later, when we've arrived."
Cuthbert and Percy glared, but followed as he hurried off after their guide again.
As they traveled along something occurred to Dreth. He motioned to Sprat. "Sprout, back in the Orc caves you said you found something with the box. What was it?"
"Oh, just a lovely black marble uncle Dreth," said the little zombie, fishing around in his rags and producing a shiny spherical object.
Dreth plucked it out of his hands and examined it. It certainly did look like a marble. It was about the size of a large one, and made of some material which seemed to suck the light away. He showed it to Redthorne.
"Wizard, what do you make of this?"
The mage looked at it and squinted. "I don't know. It has a powerful magical aura though, whatever it is." He was distracted as the baby started to squirm. "Hush little one, are you hungry?" He made a gesture and produced another bottle of milk.
Dreth examined the 'marble' again for a moment and then looked at Sprat. "Tell you what little Spug, Uncle Dreth will give you a lovely elf arm in return for this. What do you say?"
"Oooh yes please uncle!" The little zombie beamed.
"Hey! That's our arm that is," complained Cuthbert, as Dreth fished around in his bag.
"Excuse me, who killed him exactly?" asked Dreth, glaring at the zombie as he presented the limb to Sprat, who cuddled it excitedly.
"We carried it along with us though," complained Cuthbert, but in a low voice.
"I think we've arrived," interrupted Redthorne.
They looked forward, to see the cat-man pressing various parts of the wall in careful order. Sure enough a section slid away.
Dreth stepped through cautiously. He found himself in a cavernous chamber, constructed from giant granite blocks. Grand columns rose majestically to a ceiling high above, hidden in the gloom. The walls he could see were draped with majestic, yet faded, tapestries depicting knights and wizards battling various dark creatures of the underworld. Low torches flickered in sconces set in regular intervals around the walls.
"Cooo, look at this place," said Percy.
"Fancy!" Cuthbert remarked. "Hello!"
"Hello, ello, lo..." came back the echoes.
"Heh, let me try one," Percy cupped his hands about his mouth, ready to shout.
"Be quiet you two," snapped Dreth. "Who knows what's waiting for us here?"
Percy dropped his hands quickly.
The party moved forward cautiously, their footsteps bouncing off the walls, seeming very loud in the still air.
"There," whispered Redthorne, pointing ahead.
Dreth squinted. A dais had been built in the center of the chamber. On the raised platform, facing away from them, was a large dusty throne, inset with gold and precious gems.
"Come closer. Don't be afraid." The whispered voice cut through the air.
"I'm Dreth, guardian of the undead way, I'm not afraid," said Dreth.
A dry chuckling ensued. "Oh, I know who you are; I know who you all are. I've been watching you. Come, come. Come around to where I can see you. It's been some time since I had visitors."<
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The group looked at each other and Dreth shrugged.
They did as they were bid, walking around to stand in front of the throne.
"Welcome! Welcome my friends! Do you know of me?"
Dreth pursed his lips. "Can't say I do," he said. "Can't say I do..."
The figure slumped in the throne sighed a ragged breath and waved a hand. "Well, it's only to be expected I suppose. You may approach me, I don't bite you know."
"No offence or anything, but you don't exactly look well," said Cuthbert.
"Look who's talking!" replied the man in the throne, as a maggot squirmed its way through the zombie's neck and wiggled around in puzzlement.
It was true though, he didn't look wonderful. Dressed in what were probably once fine clothes, the man had seen better days. His skin was hanging off, one eyeball was all white, and his scalp had only a few ragged wisps of hair protruding. Teeth were black or rotten, and his visible flesh was an unhealthy yellow color, pot marked with scabs and sores.
"You happen to catch me at a bad time is all," he said, as the group looked at each other uncertainly. "Anyway, I didn't bring you here to listen to you badmouth me. If you don't want help then you're welcome to go back to your friends in the tunnels. Things didn't seem to be going so well out there."
Dreth put up a hand in a calming fashion. "Ignore Cuthbert, he's an idiot. Of course we would welcome any help you can give."
"Mmf." The ragged man snorted for a moment and glared at the zombies before carrying on. "My name is Harvey. Harvey Von McVon."
"Von McVon? What sort of name is that?" asked Percy.
"My name!" roared Harvey. "Want to make something of it?"
Percy made an 'all right then' face, but wisely, for once, said nothing.
Von McVon resumed his dialogue. "I've heard of your quest, and I would like to help you."
Dreth nodded. "Call me cynical if you will, but what do you get out of this?"
Harvey chuckled. "In return for my assistance, I just need a small favor."
"Here it comes," said Redthorne. "Pop over there and dispatch that demon for us would you?"
"Nothing so drastic wizard," said the ragged man. "I just need you to go and retrieve something for me. A simple operation."
"If it's so simple, why don't you do it, or your good cat-men friends?" asked Dreth, waving off in the direction they had come.