“No one who knows you thinks that.”
“What about the grandmother in Indiana who sent in five dollars? What does she think? Or the kid in Reno who goes to bed hungry because instead of sending the food bank a check we had to pay lawyers and computer experts? What will they think of me?”
He moved his horse closer and touched her arm. “They don’t know who you are,” he said gently.
“Not specifically. But they’ll hear that someone in the foundation took a bunch of money. They’ll believe I did that to them.”
“You can only fight the battle you’re in. The others have to wait.”
He was being reasonable. Talk about annoying. “I hate Garth. I swear, if I get the chance, I’m going to crush him like a bug.”
“I’ll help.”
She looked at him. “I want to believe you.”
“Give it time. You will.”
She smiled. “Such confidence.”
“You know me, Skye. Am I wrong?”
She shook her head. Given time and motivation, Mitch could do anything he wanted—especially where she was concerned.
“Besides,” he said. “I owe you. You were there for me when my parents died. That was a hard summer. You made it bearable.”
She wasn’t sure she wanted to think about that summer when Mitch had suffered and she’d tried to help and they’d fallen in love.
“Anyone else would have done the same,” she said.
“But it wasn’t anyone. It was you.”
“I wanted to help,” she said. “Which isn’t exactly a selfless reason, so don’t make too much of it. I felt so trapped and spineless back then. Once I got home from finishing school, Jed started talking about me getting married. I felt like it was the 1800s and I was the plantation owner’s daughter.”
Mitch seemed to tense up, as if he didn’t want to talk about that time. She’d left him because of Jed, so she couldn’t really blame him for that. But before she could change the subject, he said, “That’s how you acted. You could have stood up to him.”
“Easy for you to say,” she snapped. “You didn’t know what I was dealing with.”
“Of course I did. Come on, Skye. Jed’s only as powerful as you let him be. You could have told him no.”
“He’s my father.”
“Right, but he’s not God. You need to grow a pair where he’s concerned.”
She’d thought she’d wanted to fight with him, but not about this.
“You’re still doing everything he wants,” Mitch continued. “You’re dating T.J. because he told you to.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Are you saying you haven’t gone out with the guy and that you won’t be going out with him again?”
There was judgment in his voice—and anger.
“If I’m going out with T.J. it’s because he’s picked up the phone and asked me out. On a date. He doesn’t expect me to just have sex with him in a barn.”
Anger flashed in his eyes. “I didn’t expect it. I just took what was offered. You can lie to yourself all you want, but the rest of us know the truth. You’re still jumping through daddy’s hoops. When are you going to grow up?”
It was as if he’d slapped her. “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said, glaring at him.
“I know it’s time to get over your mother’s death. That has nothing to do with you. You’re not going to die if Jed gets pissed at you.”
She didn’t know how he knew her deepest fear but the fact that he would be so callous about it made every part of her feel under siege. She would give anything to have the shotgun back in her hands and this time she would happily use it.
“Let’s talk about people in glass houses. You’re not going to die because you lost a leg,” she told him. “But you’re sure bent on punishing everyone for what happened. Maybe you should adjust your own attitude before taking on mine.”
“You really want to compare our situations?” he taunted. “Your biggest problem is which pair of three-hundred-dollar shoes to wear to work.”
She told herself that a lot of this was frustration because of what had happened nine years ago and maybe because she had admitted she was dating T.J. Although that last one might just be wishful thinking on her part. But the reason didn’t matter. She was done being his punching bag.
“You may not think my foundation means anything,” she said, “but there are a lot of hungry children who would disagree with you. I might have made some bad choices because of things in my past, but at least I never betrayed my friends because I was angry at them. Erin’s right. You’re not a hero. You’re just a jerk who used to wear a uniform.”
She turned her horse and rode away.
By the time she got back to the house she wasn’t exactly calm, but she was nearly able to convince herself she would be…eventually. Damn Mitch Cassidy. Why did it always have to be like this? Why did they fight so much? Why did she have to care what he thought about her?
If she didn’t know better she would swear he was pissed that she was dating T.J. But it wasn’t as if he wanted to go out with her himself. At least he wasn’t acting like it. Not that she understood her own feelings for him. Maybe it was the past. There hadn’t been enough resolution and, because of that, old feelings were coming to life again.
Just not the good ones.
She stalked into the kitchen and wished Erin were home. Being around her daughter always made her feel better. But Erin had spent the afternoon at a friend’s house and Skye wasn’t scheduled to pick her up for another hour.
She got a glass of iced tea, then walked toward the stairs. On the way, she ran into Izzy.
They looked at each other. They weren’t exactly fighting, but they hadn’t made up yet, either. Skye told herself she should be mature and say something nice. After all Izzy was heading back to the oil rig in a couple of days.
“Are you still dating T.J.?” Izzy asked flatly.
“What? Yes. We’re having dinner tonight.”
“You can’t.” Izzy twisted her hands in front of her waist. “You don’t really like him. He’s not your type.”
Skye’s temper rose. “I haven’t dated since I was eighteen. I don’t exactly have a type. As for not liking him, I barely know him. Which is the point of dating. To get to know him better.”
“But you’re seeing Mitch.”
“Not on purpose. Mitch and I were over a long time ago.” And they were never getting back together. That was obvious.
“You had sex with him.”
Not that she was willing to admit to, Skye thought. “What is your point, Izzy? Where are you going with this?”
“You can’t go out with T.J. Please.”
“Why not? Because you’re dating him?”
“We’re not dating. Not exactly. But…”
“But what? Are you in love with him?”
Izzy crossed her arms over her chest. “I don’t know if I even like him.”
Skye rolled her eyes. “But until you decide, I should just step aside. Is that it? Or is the real point that you don’t want him but you don’t want me to have him, either?”
“It’s not like that. I don’t trust him,” Izzy said, her voice tight. “Just go with this, Skye. I’m trying to help.”
“I genuinely don’t understand,” Skye admitted. “Are you afraid of what will happen if I fall for the guy Jed wants me to marry?”
“Of course not. I don’t care about this stupid house. Take Glory’s Gate. Take the money. I never wanted any of it. Like you, I wanted a father—which I’m starting to understand isn’t going to happen. Is it remotely possibly I’m trying to help?”
“A few weeks ago I would have said yes, but you’ve been acting strange about T.J. from the beginning. Being a guy magnet has never been enough for you. Well, they can’t all like you best. T.J. is interested in me and I’m willing to see where that goes.”
“We slept together,” Izzy yelled.
Of
course, thought Skye bitterly. She wasn’t even surprised. Izzy would do anything to make a point.
A part of her noticed she wasn’t seriously hurt by the information. At least not on the T.J. front. Izzy’s behavior, however, stung.
“Thanks for the share,” Skye said, pushing past her sister.
Izzy grabbed her arm and stopped her. “It’s not like that. I did it to see if he’d sleep with me and then still go out with you.”
“You had sex with a guy I’m dating for my own good. That’s really sweet. Thanks. But just to be clear, I don’t need any more favors from you.”
“I hate it when you get sarcastic,” Izzy muttered. “Would you at least acknowledge the point here? T.J. isn’t one of the good guys.”
“Neither are you,” Skye told her.
Izzy’s eyes filled with tears. “Don’t worry. I’m leaving for the rig soon.”
“Not soon enough.”
MITCH WIPED DOWN Bullet. The work allowed him time to think which was both good and bad.
What the hell was wrong with him? Why had he lashed out at Skye like that? Why did he keep wanting to punish her?
Part of the answer was easy enough to understand, but part of it meant going to a place he wasn’t ready for.
Fact—nine years ago she’d walked out on him for no reason except her father had told her to. Jed was big with the ultimatums and Skye had been scared. He knew why, knew what had happened from her perspective, but still he couldn’t seem to let it go.
Did he want her to hate him, because that’s where this was headed. She would only come back so many times before she was gone permanently. Is that what he wanted? To chase Skye so far away he never had to think about her again?
To what end? Because it hurt to look at her and know what he’d lost? Because she deserved it? Because he was such a bastard that he took pleasure in torturing her?
He’d had to face who and what he’d become once already. Dealing with the loss of his leg and getting better, physically and mentally. Did he have to do that again, with Skye?
It was over between them. It had been over for years. Yes, she’d acted badly and he’d been hurt. So hurt he’d been unable to commit to anyone else. But was that her problem or his? At some point didn’t he have to, as he’d so crudely put it to Skye, grow a pair and move on?
He replayed his conversation with Skye and winced as he heard his harsh words in his head. That is not the man he was. Where did he get off acting like that?
He looked at Bullet. “I’m a complete asshole.”
The horse butted him as if pointing out it was about time he realized that. Mitch staggered a few feet and started to lose his balance. Bullet moved quickly, stepping closer and shoving his head into Mitch’s side, catching him and supporting him.
He wrapped an arm around the horse’s neck and hung on.
When he’d found his center of gravity again and straightened, Bullet butted him again, but more gently. As if showing he understood that Mitch wasn’t the most coordinated human around. He patted the horse.
“A sense of humor is important,” he said. “Thanks for getting that.”
Bullet snorted.
Mitch reached for a brush. He’d defined the problem, which was step one. Now he needed a solution, which required a goal. What did he want from Skye? What did he want for her? Once he knew that, the rest would be easy to figure out.
THE RESTAURANT WAS crowded, but as soon as Skye mentioned T.J.’s name, she was shown back to a table.
She’d dressed carefully in a black cocktail dress she’d bought a year ago but had never worn. Although the style was very flattering, it was cut low enough to make her uncomfortable. In the safety of the dressing room she’d told herself it was time to be adventurous. But once she had the dress home, she’d lost her courage. Until tonight.
She’d curled her wavy hair, worn her favorite dangling diamond earrings and heels that hurt her feet before she left the bedroom. Maybe it wasn’t going to be enough, but she wanted to do her best to show T.J. what he would never ever get.
He was already at the table, looking handsome and smooth in his custom suit. He rose when he saw her and seemed impressed with what he saw.
“You look great,” he told her. “Beautiful and killer sexy.”
“Thank you.”
She took the seat across from his and dropped her wrap. His eyes widened.
The low-cut dress was also tight. Her curves seemed seconds away from spilling out. Skye figured she might as well flaunt the assets she had.
“I’m not going to be able to think straight through dinner,” he muttered.
“Really?” she asked, smiling, then reached across the table and touched his hand.
“Seriously, Skye, you’re gorgeous enough to be deadly.” He glanced around the room as if trying to figure out what was going on. “Tell me again why we’re here and not at my place?”
“Because you didn’t ask me to your place.”
His mouth dropped slightly. He might have been playing before, but he looked plenty serious now. “Do you want to leave?” he asked.
She leaned toward him. “Will you take me home?” she whispered. “Make love with me?”
He swore under his breath. “In a heartbeat. I thought you’d want to go slow.”
“You thought wrong. Let’s go.”
He stood so fast, the chair went flying.
She rose and followed him out of the restaurant. She was pleased to see her car was still parked in front, as she’d asked the valet. Across the street she saw a flatbed truck pulling away with T.J.’s car on it. T.J. didn’t seem to notice. T.J. passed over his claim check, then put his arm around her. “I’m so ready for this,” he murmured in her ear.
She pushed him away. “I’ll just bet you are, you bastard. Did you really think you could sleep with my sister and then get me into bed? That’s disgusting. I don’t know what this is all about, but it stops now. You are nothing but a jerk and a loser. Were you going to keep Izzy on the side while you tried to talk me into marrying you? What did Jed promise you?” She threw up her hands. “You know what? I don’t care. You lost Izzy and you lost me. And by the time I’m done talking about you, you won’t be able to buy a dog, let alone get a date, in this town.”
He glared at her. “You think you’re something but you’re not. Without Jed, you’re nothing.”
“I’m still a Titan and I am somebody, with or without Jed.”
He flushed. “The next husband Daddy tries to buy for you won’t look as good as me.”
She looked him up and down. “I’m not sure I could do worse. You’re the kind of man who’s never happy with what he has. I’ll bet you cheat at cards, too. By the way, Izzy says you’re the size of a peanut and lasted about thirty seconds. How disappointing.”
Knowing she was going to regret her public tirade in the morning, but too happy with it now to care, Skye tossed the valet a twenty. He handed her her keys. She got in her car and drove away. As she turned at the corner, she pushed the button for her hands-free phone system, then spoke Lexi’s name.
Her sister picked up on the second ring. “Hi. What’s up?”
“I need to trash T. J. Boone all over town. Can you help with that?”
Lexi laughed. “You know I have a phone network that rivals the Pentagon. What do you want me to say?”
“I’m thinking we should start by mentioning an unfortunate lack of size in the male equipment department.”
SKYE STOOD in front of Ray’s grave and touched the impressive carved headstone. The quote, from Aristotle, had been one point of many she’d disagreed with. But Ray’s children had never accepted her, had never been happy about their father’s marriage to a much younger woman. No matter how she explained she wasn’t in it for the money, they didn’t believe her.
After his death, they’d discovered he’d left her only a few million which, from their perspective, had been practically nothing. Instead he’d divided his estate among
all his children, including Erin. His children had never known that she had been the one to insist Ray write his will that way.
He’d wanted to leave her “taken care of,” which in his mind meant thirty or forty million dollars. But she didn’t need that. She still had a little money from her mother and she wasn’t a big spender.
Erin’s money had been left in trust for her. Skye had no idea what his other children had done with their shares. There was no contact, not even with their half sister.
She tried not to mind. Erin didn’t know much about them and couldn’t miss a relationship she’d never had. While Skye accepted they would always hate her, she was sad they would reject her child.
Ray had told her to give it time. She hadn’t realized how little they would have together.
“I know you loved me,” she whispered. Not that he could hear her, but it felt good to pretend he could. That she would get an answer and then he would laugh. That big laugh of his that always made her feel better no matter what was going on.
“Mitch got in the way, didn’t he? You knew he was in my heart, even when I didn’t. Even when I tried to forget him.”
Mitch had lived between them, a shadow they couldn’t escape.
“I didn’t love you enough,” she said, tears filling her eyes. “And now you’re gone. You would be so ashamed of me. T.J. turned out to be a real mess. Izzy tried to warn me about him and I wouldn’t listen. It’s my pride. I guess I’ve always had too much pride. Oh, Ray.”
She clutched the headstone, wishing she could go back and change things. If only she’d gotten over Mitch sooner. Or at all.
But that wasn’t her only regret. What she’d finally come to see was that she’d lost herself the day she’d chosen Ray over Mitch. She’d lost the essence of who and what she was and that might also be part of the reason she hadn’t been able to love him as much as he deserved.
Ray had been good to her. He’d always encouraged her to reach for something. He was the one who had suggested she start the foundation. He’d helped her with all the logistics and had offered to give her more seed money. He’d been a lot older, but his heart and spirit had been young and he’d treasured her and Erin.
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