by Eric Vall
“Damn, right, she’s not,” I agreed.
“Well!” Deya sighed loudly. “I am fascinated by all of this! All of your magic is so fascinating, and I am oftentimes jealous that I don’t get to be a mage.”
I cocked an eyebrow at the beautiful elf’s sudden outburst, but then she flicked her eyes over my shoulder, and I turned to see Shoshanne gathering her volumes as quietly as possible.
“Yes!” Cayla exclaimed. “I feel the same way. Life is much less complex and compelling without magical prowess. What kind of magic would you want to have, Deya?”
“Aer Magic,” Deya said with a sage nod. “It is by far the most fascinating.”
Shoshanne sighed, and when she glanced over, I sent her a friendly smile.
“I stopped by the training fields,” I told the healer. “Did you know the Aer Mages are learning to fly?”
“Wow!” Cayla belted. “I wish I could do that!”
“Me, too,” Aurora added in a much more natural tone. “Shoshanne, I was talking to a few Defenders about it, and they told me--”
“I have an announcement to make,” the healer interrupted. Then she stood up, smoothed out her skirt, and folded her hands. “I am not going to be a mage anymore.”
“What?” I asked, and when Shoshanne caught the look in my eye, she blushed to her roots.
“Don’t be mad?” the healer tried.
I adjust my expression by a small degree. “I’m not mad. Will you please come over here?”
“Why?” Shoshanne squeaked.
“Because you don’t get to randomly stop being a mage. It’s part of who you are, and the mark on your hand will never go away.”
“Mages need to be able to control their elements,” the healer countered, and she began backing toward the door. “I have no control over mine, and frankly, I don’t care to. I got along fine before I knew I had any powers, and I’d rather not toil away at something that can only bring harm to the people around me.”
“Shoshanne, you don’t bring harm to the people around you,” Aurora argued.
“And what makes you believe losing control is a negative thing?” Nulena asked the healer. “I do some of my best work when I become completely unhinged. If the mind is devoid of the concept of consequences, anything is possible.”
“Nulena… ” I sighed.
A look of terror came to Shoshanne’s face, and I could tell this kind of persuasion would never work on her. She was only a few feet from bolting out the door again now, and I lifted the Baroness off my lap so I could try and coax her back.
When I headed over, though, Shoshanne took several more steps back.
“You’re not going to change my mind,” the healer warned. “I don’t care what you have to say.”
“Yes, you do,” I countered. “You’re just afraid it’ll be too logical to argue against, now hear me out for one minute.”
I caught her elbow before she could slip away, and Shoshanne glowered at the floor as she continued trying to wriggle herself out of my hold.
“I know you’re frustrated, and I also know what happened at Vasdor scared you,” I said as gently as I could, “but that doesn’t mean ignoring the problem will--”
“I’m not ignoring the problem!” the healer snapped. “I can’t stop thinking about it every hour, and I’m making sure it never happens again. I refuse to hurt people who shouldn’t be hurt! That isn’t who I am, and I’m terrified of becoming some out of control--”
“That’s what I’m trying to say,” I cut in as her eyes welled with tears. “Being terrified of what you’re capable of isn’t healthy, and it won’t fix anything. If you were terrified of my firearms, and I handed one to you anyways, do you think any good would come of it?”
“No,” Cayla answered for her.
“Until you took the time to learn about it, and utilize it in a responsible way, you’d be a danger to yourself and everyone around you,” I finished.
“What does this have to do with anything?” Shoshanne growled while she tried to wrench herself free.
“The gun is glued to your hand,” I clarified. “It’s not going away, and getting more scared of it will only make things worse. You have one option, and it’s to calm down, figure out what you’re dealing with, and rise to the challenge of being able to use it properly.”
“You’re more than capable of doing this,” Aurora assured the healer. “Every mage is. That’s why they’ve been coming to the Order for centuries. So they can explore their powers safely with people who understand the difficulties they face.”
“You know Mason would never try to make you do something that wasn’t in your best interests,” Cayla added. “Can you at least trust that even if you’re having trouble trusting your own abilities?”
“I don’t want to hurt anyone by accident,” Shoshanne whimpered. “I just wanted to counter Aloshi.”
“Then don’t hurt anyone by accident,” I replied firmly. “You’re the one who controls how high that risk is. Please just work through this with me. You know I’m only trying to help.”
Shoshanne still refused to meet my gaze, but she stopped trying to rip her arm away from me. Then I grazed my thumb across her cheek to wipe a few tears away, and the woman finally nodded the tiniest bit.
“Thank you,” I said as I slipped her hand into mine. “Come with me. We have time, and I know somewhere you can practice without having to worry about anything.”
“If this goes horribly, then I’m done being a mage,” Shoshanne informed me.
“No, if this goes horribly, then we’ll have a better idea of where the issue lies so we can address it head on.”
The healer slumped as I tugged her toward the door, and I only stopped in the clearing long enough to order ten of my Boms to assist Big Guy on his patrol since Pindor had found more portals beyond the tracks. Once I was sure they knew what to keep an eye out for, I led Shoshanne deep into the forest, but after she spent ten minutes quietly watching her toes trail across the ground, I decided it was time to address what started all of this.
“You know what happened at Vasdor needed to happen, right?” I asked.
“No, it didn’t,” Shoshanne said in a low voice. “You wouldn’t have needed to almost die if I hadn’t completely messed up and broken the mountains in the first place.”
“I can understand why you see it that way,” I allowed, “but me almost dying or half-dying, or whatever that was isn’t the important part.”
“How can you say that?” the healer scoffed.
“Because you, Aurora, Deya, Dorinick, and hundreds of other innocent lives would have been lost,” I clarified. “You’re not only focusing on the part that upset you most, but you’re also magnifying it. Break down what really happened, and you’ll see what I mean, because no one could destroy the fire titan. None of us were equipped to do it. So, in an alternate scenario, he burns us all up, moves over the ridge, and burns up Aurora and her entire platoon next. No one goes south to destroy the tunnels in time, and then Cayla, Pindor, Haragh, Dragir, Urn, Kurna, and every single member of our combined armies dies.”
I glanced over at the healer, and I could tell she was listening more to reason now, so I continued.
“Then there’s the real scenario, where I tell you to destroy the fire titan,” I continue. “Lucky for all of us, the one person, you, who could do everything in their power to save us, followed that order. Then it was my turn to do everything in my power to save us next, and I did. Nowhere in that story are you a danger to everyone around you. You’re someone who followed an order and saved everyone around you. The person who gave the order, me, did his damn job and made sure the repercussions didn’t cause any more damage.”
We walked for a ways while I gave Shoshanne time to consider my take on the matter, and when she squeezed my hand, I looked over to find a small smile on her face. Then I tucked her under my arm, and I left a kiss in her copper curls.
“I know it was scary,” I told her, “but
I’m proud of you for what you did in Vasdor.”
“Thanks,” Shoshanne said softly. “I’m proud of you, too. Even if I hated it.”
I chuckled as we reached the remains of what used to be a valley, and the two of us came to a stop at the edge of a flat and garbled mass of stone. A few gnarled black branches jutted up from between the slabs, and the disfigured terrain stretched north and south of us into the woods.
“Remember the earthquake I set off here when I first got my healing rune?” I asked, and the healer nodded as she eyed the charred remains. “If I can train myself not to be an all-out killing machine with this rune on me, then you can absolutely do this. Your magic is a part of you, so you don’t have to war against it. It’s an internal force, and you can always fall back into sync with it.”
“It’s not that simple,” Shoshanne mumbled.
“Explain it to me, then,” I replied. “What does it feel like when you try to form cyclones?”
“That’s the problem,” Shoshanne said with an anxious frown. “It’s not only the cyclones anymore. I can’t control anything. My powers flare all at once, and everything I try is too strong. My magic’s isn’t the same anymore, and I’m not doing it on purpose. See?”
The healer raised a shaky hand and barely waved it to the side, but a fierce gust of wind burst through the trees as the leaves and twigs on the forest floor pelted us. Then Shoshanne tried to calm the wind down, but it ended up coming in from two directions instead, and as my eyes stung from the dirt, I grabbed her hands and dragged her over to me.
“Stop thinking about anything and stay perfectly still,” I instructed.
Shoshanne did her best, but I could tell by the crinkle on her brow that she wasn’t remotely calming down, and my concern mounted when the wind began to spiral around us. The treetops bent behind the spiraling debris as the wind picked up strength, and I could tell we’d be standing in a tornado if she didn’t rein it in soon.
“Deep breaths,” I hollered as branches began breaking loose. “You need to stop focusing on what’s happening, okay? Disconnect from it entirely, you’re just keeping it going.”
“I’m trying!” the healer yelled.
I looked down as Shoshanne clutched her hair and began shaking, and seeing her so upset and scared made my organs wilt as she started muttering frantic curses under her breath.
“Come here,” I sighed, and I locked the woman in a crippling hold as I delved my tongue into her mouth.
Then I did my damndest to kiss her like we only had one minute to live, and when I felt her going limp in my arms, I kissed her more fervently as she finally gave me all of her attention. The wind began to ease, but I didn’t stop until I was sure every leaf had fluttered back down to the ground, and even then, I kept her tight against me while she took a ragged breath.
“Okay,” I muttered after a moment. “Stay this calm. That’s an order.”
Shoshanne managed a harried laugh as her eyelids fluttered open, and when I cautiously released her, she staggered on her high heels while she fanned herself.
“Thank you for that,” the healer breathed.
“Anytime,” I chuckled. “Now, clearly your emotions have some kind of connection to this, but that can’t be all it is. You’ve used your powers to help me when I’ve been broken to pieces before, and no matter how worried you were at the time, your control was unwavering.”
“I know,” Shoshanne muttered. “It must be somewhat emotional, though, because I didn’t accidentally make my lungs or your penis explode when I went down on you in the fountain last night. At first, I was worried I might, but I was so happy and excited and turned on at the time that I didn’t let myself focus on my worries.”
I swallowed hard as I processed this, and then I decided it was better not to dwell on what that fantastic blow job almost cost me.
“Noted… I’d like to run one more test, but you’re not going to like it,” I warned the woman. “Can you show me how big the cyclones have gotten? We need to know if your powers are only getting out of hand, or if they’re still building in strength, too.”
The healer looked horror-struck, and I swiftly pulled her back to me.
“Stay calm,” I urged. “This is not a big deal right now. No one’s around, there’s no life or death situations forcing your hand, and I’m here with you. Just two mages hanging out in the middle of nowhere, and who cares what happens? I own all this land anyways. Let’s blow some shit up, and we’ll laugh about it later.”
“I will not laugh,” Shoshanne grumbled.
“Oh, I could make you laugh,” I said with a teasing grin. “There is definitely something funny to be found in this situation. Come on. Let’s see how ridiculous this has gotten.”
The healer couldn’t help smirking as she rolled her eyes, and after she took a deep breath, she nodded in agreement.
“Okay, but you have to hold onto me, and don’t let go,” Shoshanne insisted. “When I made the cyclone in Vasdor, I got thrown off Deya, and she barely caught me in time.”
I sobered immediately. “You mean you got thrown off before the blast? Just from forming it?”
Shoshanne nodded as she turned around, and she firmly planted my hands on the cinch of her waist.
Then she squeezed them tight to make sure I had her, and it was a good thing I was behind her now, because my expression was way less lackadaisical than it had been one minute ago.
“Okay,” the healer said with a trembling sigh. “Are you ready?”
“Totally ready. And calm. Calm’s so important, right?”
“Right,” Shoshanne agreed. “Casual cyclone. I’m hanging out with you, standing here, and who cares if I just… ”
I tracked her movement like a hawk, and I knew for a fact the healer only swung her arm out in one circle. There was virtually no effort in the gesture, so being thrown into the treetops with Shoshanne screaming like a banshee was not expected.
That wasn’t the most shocking part, though.
Chapter 9
A violent torrent of wind exploded across the stones and built itself up in the blink of an eye, and the mass spanned the length of two football fields while it thrashed its way through the woods. My eyes bulged out of my head as hundred-year-old trees were torn up by the roots and flung over the foothills on both sides, and the howl of the cyclone was loud enough that I would have believed it if someone told me a jet plane had flown over my head.
Then Shoshanne and I finally crashed down through the branches and landed thirty yards from where we’d started, and I shakily righted myself as I stared at the path of destruction the whirlwind was carving across my land. It felt like ages before I couldn’t see massive oaks soaring into the sky anymore, and my eyes were ready to fall out of my head by the time I turned to the healer.
Shoshanne’s copper curls were blown into a disarray with twigs and leaves sticking out all over, and she was covered in scrapes from our trip through the treetops as her chin began to quiver.
“Please don’t tell everyone what a complete mess I am,” Shoshanne whimpered, and she buried her red face in her hands.
“Aw, hey,” I tried as I crawled over. “You are like… the cutest mess. Honestly.”
“I destroyed a city’s worth of forest!” Shoshanne wailed. “More, probably!”
“Which is so okay,” I assured her. “It’s my forest, and I stand by what I said. You’re the most adorable mess I know, and we can totally fix this.”
“How?”
“By finding someone who knows way more than us about Aer Magic,” I decided, and I pulled her back to her feet before I tucked her under my arm. “Let’s head back to Falmount. I know a guy we can talk to.”
“Don’t tell them it’s about me,” Shoshanne begged. “Tell them we’re just curious. Or it’s about a possessed mage, or one of the younger mages, or--”
“No,” I snorted and turned the windblown woman toward the village. “You have nothing to be embarrassed about.”
> “I’m the head healer for the Order,” Shoshanne groaned. “I’m in charge of keeping everyone safe, and I’m the worst and most out of control mage in the world!”
“Not true,” I countered. “You’re on your way to becoming an incredibly powerful mage, and that’s something to be proud of. Trust me, one day we’re gonna look back at the giant tunnel carved through our woods, and it’ll be anything but embarrassing. For now, we can enjoy the fact that if Dragir was here, he would have shit himself by now.”
Shoshanne laughed as she slumped against my side, and I helped her pluck the twigs out from her hair while we made our way back to Falmount.
I still had to try my best not to snicker at the sight of her as she walked down the lanes, though.
The healer tried to appear like she didn’t have a care in the world, but it looked more like she’d stolen something and knew everyone saw her do it. She fidgeted constantly with the cuff of my sleeve as she forced a smile when the residents offered her a greeting, and the multitude of nicks and scratches she had all over her limbs didn’t help with the facade she was going for.
I decided not to tell her half her skirt was torn off since she was stressed enough as it was, and while I calmly led the caramel beauty on my arm, I replayed the behemoth wind-monster debacle in my mind as I tried to decide on a possible culprit.
I knew nothing about Aer Magic, so I didn’t have a lot to go off, and even though I did know a bit about gaining powers at a somewhat accelerated rate, I’d never had my magic change its functionality down to the most minute task.
Still, I knew this wasn’t so impossible to sort out as Shoshanne thought it was, and I had a feeling her mindset might be influencing at least one or two factors. In my experience, panicking every time something didn’t work out rarely got better results.
So, I sent Shoshanne a reassuring grin whenever her nervous gaze flicked over to me, and I was grateful the town was packed despite the waning sunlight of the day. The several merchants bustling by seemed to distract Shoshanne pretty well as she craned her neck to admire new stands or an amusing scuffle between a group of our allies, but her improved mood only lasted until we reached the pub.