by Eric Vall
The sun was dipping down closer to the horizon, but the Illarian citizens were determined to keep my soldiers entertained as long as they could, and despite how confused my allies were when I relayed the invitation, I could tell they were having a hell of a time.
For the first time in history, ogres, elves, and dwarves were welcomed into Serin like heroes, and all throughout the streets and castle halls, my allies were being hailed by drunken fans. Even the elves gladly let Temin’s servants deliver all they asked for and more while they lined the banquet tables along with the others, and half the fair-faced nobles in the room were making excuses to pass by the smirking warriors.
The dwarves didn’t hesitate to inform anyone who would listen that it was really their well-wrought armor that kept all our soldiers alive, and the ogres knocked decorative urns over while they gestured wildly in their retelling of the siege against the Master’s fortress. These stories were half the reason the nobles had wine dripping down their chins, and whenever Grot credited my huge balls for the victory, most of the great hall fell into tittering laughter.
News of the siege must have reached the vassals of Illaria pretty quickly, too, because the trains pulling into the station every twenty minutes brought swarms of citizens ready to join in on the celebration. Parades had been springing up at random in Serin whenever a new band arrived to honor the soldiers, and I knew none of this would have been brought together so quickly if it weren’t for my little metal man.
I honestly wasn’t too surprised to hear Stan had gone the extra mile, though. He was a lot like me, after all, and I could understand why the mini man struggled to sit around waiting after he’d just broken through hundreds of defensive enchantments. Still, imagining Stan miming our progress to Temin with his mini rifle on his back brought a smile to my face every time I imagined it. He’d probably given Temin a heart attack when he came streaking through the Royal Court to demand an audience with the king.
I was glad Stan had gotten so bold, though, because in the time it took us to break through the Master’s walls, destroy the last of his army, and uncover his swanky hideout, the little metal man was on a hero-level rogue mission.
He’d scouted the state of our wounded at the train, met up with his brothers at the Oculus to confirm the magical city remained secure, and ordered the king to send a transport train to the forest so the critically wounded could get the care they needed. Stan had Temin summoning spare healers and supplies in a matter of minutes to make sure our army suffered minimal casualties, but all of this had happened after he bravely snuck through a portal in the Master’s chamber.
From what I gathered, Solana and Stan were hiding in the heights of the fortress waiting for my signal when a dark-skinned Ignis Mage stormed past. Stan had been with me during the ambushes at the tunnel, though, so his curiosity peaked when he recognized the formidable man. It was the same mage who’d booked it back to the portal after finding me at the tunnel in Illaria, and Stan knew he was responsible for alerting the Master to my whereabouts.
So, naturally, Stan broke rank to find out who he was for me, and he made it clear how shocked he’d been when he trailed the Ignis Mage straight to the Master’s chambers. From here, his frustration was palpable while he mimed how close he came to shooting our enemy down, but when he snuck into the chamber, the Master already had a pile of branding irons and two books in hand. Then he swiftly disappeared through the portal with the Ignis Mage right behind him.
Stan had to pause at this point in his story, but once he expressed how hesitant he’d been to proceed, and how much he knew might be at stake, he chose to follow the two men through their portal.
Then he continued onward through four more portals while he tracked the pair miles and miles beyond the destruction taking place at the fortress, but he struggled to keep up, and he lost the trail somewhere deep in the jungle. By the time he made it back, I’d already removed the last engravings in the Master’s chamber, and Stan took this as his cue to go into hero mode.
From there, he jetted straight to Serin, and once he returned to the fortress and finished relaying all of this to me and my women, Temin’s castle guards were already marching into the foothills. They gathered the last of our wounded while their transport booked it to the infirmary, and an hour later, I was driving through Serin with a throng of citizens waving scarves above their heads and cheering for the incoming soldiers.
I hadn’t paid attention to much of anything after Temin finished making all his speeches on our behalf, and now, I had my boots up on the chair beside me while I continued mulling over everything Stan had told me.
I didn’t know how long Temin had been trying to get my attention, but when I blinked back to reality, the king wore an amused grin on his face.
“Sorry,” I chuckled.
“You’re fully entitled to relax!” the king hollered above the music, and he motioned for me to follow him out of the hall. “Every region has you to thank for their safety tonight, and I don’t think Illaria has ever had a head of the Order more worthy of their adoration. Did you see the chests they’ve been piling up in the corner for you?”
“Yeah, I saw,” I said with a smirk, and the two of us exited the great hall to make our way to the throne room.
“You’re sure you won’t accept the position of Lord Chamberlain in my Court?” Temin checked.
“I’m sure,” I chuckled. “I appreciate the offer, but to be honest, I don’t think I have the patience to preside over a Royal Court. Or the time.”
“I have to give the people something, though,” the king pressed. “They’re beside themselves with gratitude! If I don’t shower you with honors, they’ll think I’m a fop.”
“You already knighted Stan, tripled the size of my fief, and jumped my title from a baron to a duke,” I reminded him. “That’s plenty.”
“Don’t forget about the statues in the square,” Temin added as he sat behind his oaken desk. “Sir Stan’s statue is already in the works, but you’ll be expected to let Master Fennix take your’s and your ladies’ likenesses later this week.”
“I’ll see what I can do,” I said with a nod, “but Temin, I can’t stress this enough: the Master is not defeated. He’s still out there, and I’m not spending one minute sitting for anything until he’s been taken care of.”
The king grimaced. “You’re determined to chase this mongrel, then?”
“Yes, I have no choice.”
“But Illaria is safe,” Temin countered. “Your job is to protect this kingdom, and you’ve done that and more.”
“My job is to protect my family as well,” I informed the man. “The Master isn’t going to stop coming after me or them, and don’t fool yourself, he still has every intention of taking over whatever corner of this world he can get his hands on. I didn’t set out to protect Illaria alone. I set out to kill this asshole, and I intend to do just that.”
“Your unrelenting dedication is quite inconvenient sometimes,” Temin muttered. “The kingdom expects to spend the next six months relishing in your accomplishments, and here you are, abandoning your post without so much as enjoying a moment of well-deserved boasting.”
“I know,” I chuckled. “Trust me, you’re not the only one who wishes I’d spend less time trying to save the world, but this isn’t the time to bask in the glory. If I act now, the Master won’t have a chance to gather a strong enough defense to escape me one more time. I’ve almost got him.”
Temin smirked. “And do I have your word that once you accomplish this, you will remain in Illaria long enough for the citizens to kiss your feet?”
“Absolutely,” I replied. “I’ll let them do the parades and everything. I owe my women a leisurely trip around the kingdom anyways.”
“Lovely!” the king preened. “I’ll make sure every vassal in the kingdom is prepared to deliver five times as many gifts! Sir Stan will be joining the tour as well?”
“Yeah, we never go anywhere with our little metal man,”
I assured him.
“Oh, that reminds me,” Temin muttered, and he headed over to one of his bookshelves to retrieve what looked like a tiny sword stand. “I had the castle blacksmith work this up. It’s an exact replica of the Sword of Fortis. He was the first knight of Illaria to lead his vassal’s army to victory in every battle he joined in. Died a highly decorated lord of war over eight hundred years ago, and his sword has been mounted in the Royal Armory ever since. I thought Sir Stan could do with a monumental blade.”
“Damn, Temin,” I mused while I studied the tiny sword. “This is a hell of a gesture.”
“He’s a hell of a miniature knight,” Temin chuckled, “and rather charming. You know, when he wants to discuss you, he mimics your precise gait while he holds his arms hitched with two imaginary women. I caught on to his meaning immediately!”
I laughed heartily as I shook my head. “Well, I’m glad you did. Your transport saved our asses. Shoshanne said a third of our dwarven allies wouldn’t have survived if they hadn’t made it to the Oculus so quickly.”
“And I fully intend to have the parades brought through the infirmary as soon as she permits it,” the king informed me.
“I’ll make sure she keeps you updated,” I assured Temin as I rose to shake his hand.
“You could stay for the second feast,” the king tried.
“I wish I could, but I’ve got a man working on some developments at the fortress,” I said with a grin, and Temin sighed his disappointment as he watched me leave the throne room.
“Better leave your lovely women behind at the very least!” Temin called down the hall. “Surely, in their delicate conditions, they would prefer to be doted on?”
“Deal!” I hollered back.
Then the king promptly summoned his servants to ensure my women were served before anyone else this evening, and I chuckled to myself while I slid Stan’s new sword into my pocket. When I returned to the great hall, the elves were smugly listening to a group of noble ladies try and win a dance from them, and Aurora was spying with Stan and Cayla while they muttered a few guesses on which warrior would disgrace his race first.
“Duchess…” I murmured as I strolled over to leave a kiss on the half-elf’s cheek, and she giggled until she was beet red.
“I’ve been called that at least a hundred times this evening, and I’m still not used to it,” Aurora purred.
“Good,” Cayla chuckled.
“Yea, I expect you to be this blushy for the next few weeks,” I agreed. “It’s about time this kingdom doted on you as much as I do.”
The half-elf rolled her eyes. “Shoshanne can hardly handle it. She keeps insisting they call her by her name, and whenever the ladies ignore her, she gets flustered and trips over the nearest chair.”
“That’s adorable,” I decided. “Will you ladies be content letting Temin make a spectacle of you for a while? I’m heading back to the fortress to see if the warriors came up with anything yet.”
“I suppose we can handle it,” Cayla sighed while she adjusted her crown.
“I should keep an eye on Deya, anyways,” Aurora added. “She’s told half these nobles that she’s descended from Nemris, and at some point, they’re going to begin wondering if she’s not just being cute.”
“What does Nulena have to do with all this?” I snorted, and the half-elf sent me a grin.
“Oh, hush,” Aurora sniffed. “I think it’s hilarious watching her egg Deya on. Can you imagine how much nonsense the two of them will be getting into for the next eon? Chaos and the Goddess of Peace and Transition toying with the realms to their hearts’ content. I wonder what Dragir will add to all of this once he ascends. Did Nulena tell you what he’ll preside over?”
“No,” I muttered as I furrowed my brow.
The half-elf’s grin spread from one ear to the other, and both women’s eyes glittered while they motioned for me to lean in closer.
Then Aurora whispered one word into my ear, and it was enough to make me forget to straighten up again. I was frozen mid hunch while Aurora let a wicked chuckle slip out, but eventually, I managed to straighten up and shake my head repeatedly instead.
“No. That’s not… no. That’s a terrible idea.”
“It’s the complementary force to Deya’s future domain,” Cayla giggled.
“I think it’s perfect,” Aurora snorted. “He does have a knack for killing shit.”
“That does not mean he should preside over Death,” I firmly countered. “Dragir is… and with Deya in charge of all the souls in the universe? I just…”
I took a steadying breath while Cayla summoned a servant to refill my goblet, and I swiftly downed the entire contents as Solana carried Stan over to my shoulder. The little metal man was shaking his head in agreement while he patted my cheek, but then the women started wondering aloud whether Dragir would kill entire worlds at once, or if he’d prefer to work through one village at a time.
That’s when I decided to leave the party, and I could still hear my lovers’ shameless cackles when I reached the half-ogre on the other side of the room.
Haragh furrowed his brow. “Crazy eyes again?”
“Dude…” I sighed. “Do you ever have those weeks where the existential hits just keep on coming?”
“Nope,” the half-ogre said with a shrug. “I only got one woman. That’s called peace of mind.”
I traded my goblet for his since he had way more wine left than me, and Haragh chuckled when Stan motioned for me to keep draining it.
“Ye’ heading back to the fortress?” the half-ogre asked.
“Yeah, are you coming with?”
“Think I should stick around here,” the half-ogre muttered. “My mom’s scarin’ the citizens a bit, and I don’t want her lurin’ any of ‘em back to her village. She orders an exorbitant amount of sacrifices after a battle.”
I nodded. “The rest of her tribe are pretty pleasant for cannibals, though.”
“Aye,” Haragh allowed. “They’re not as bad. Did ye’ see them take down those bears?”
“Hell yeah, I did,” I chuckled, but before I could continue, the half-ogre abruptly forced a warrior’s scowl, nudged me hard in the side, and straightened his posture.
I looked around in confusion until he jutted his chin toward the crowded hall, and I guessed the sudden shift in him had something to do with the ten-foot ogre lumbering toward us.
He wasn’t as bulbous as Grot, but he had dozens of deep scars gouged all over his face and arms, and everything about his burly build and gruff physique showed he’d spent years mauling some vicious shit. The ogre even had one eye gouged out, and the sprawling knot of scar tissue left behind made him look like the last ogre in the world I’d want to fuck with.
Then the burly ogre cracked a huge, toothy grin, and I could’ve sworn his one eye was tearing up a bit.
“There’s my boy,” the ogre growled in a bassy timber, and he caught me in a hug as he lifted me right off the ground.
I just stayed stock still while I craned my neck around to look at my friend, and Haragh was rolling his eyes as he slumped back down to his regular hunch.
Then he mouthed the words “my dad,” and I promptly locked my arms around the giant brute to give him a thorough hug.
“You made it!” I wheezed.
“’Course I did!” the ogre chuckled.
I could feel his deep voice reverberating through my chest before he roughly released me, and he dropped a heavy, scarred arm around my shoulder as he settled his one eye on me.
“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Haragh’s dad assured me. “Ye’ did good out there, son. I’m proud of ye’.”
I don’t know what the hell was going on with me, but as I realized how much Haragh’s dad really meant this, I was suddenly feeling all kinds of things, and I teared up just as much as him.
“Thanks,” I croaked. “That means a lot.”
“Jazper’s hold up with a bite taken out of his arm or he would’ve be
en here,” the ogre said with an apologetic nod. “Sends his love, though. Told me to make sure you know he’ll have Veruk chew out a decent club for ye’ to mark the occasion.”
“She doesn’t have to go to all that trouble,” I assured him even though I had no idea who these ogres were.
“The hell she don’t!” Haragh’s dad shot back. “You know how much Veruk loves ye’. Come on by the lair soon. We’ll maul a few wyrms for old time sake and give Veruk somethin’ to brag about.”
“Well, I couldn’t let Veruk down,” I chuckled, and Haragh stifled a snort.
Then the one-eyed ogre tipped his head to send Stan a toothy grin as well.
“There’s the little tyke!” he chortled.
I was about to respond, but Stan was so happy to see the man that he flew straight over, and when they exchanged a secret handshake I’d never seen before, I decided I needed to drink way less Rosh.
“I was tellin’ Grot he ought to--” Haragh’s dad began, but then his rugged face turned a sickly green as he caught sight of Chonna in the crowd. “Oh, shit.”
“Yeah, run,” Haragh suggested.
“Love ye’ boys,” his dad growled, and with that, the burly ogre ducked down to a crouch and bulldozed his way out the door.
Haragh and I acted natural when Chonna’s eyes scanned the crowd in this direction, and once she became preoccupied with petting an earl’s beard like it was a cat, we finally relaxed.
“Close one,” Haragh mumbled.
“I can’t believe I didn’t remember you dad,” I muttered. “He’s my favorite ogre. I love him.”
“Yeah, he’s a good guy,” Haragh chuckled.
“No, I mean I love him,” I clarified. “He’s my new dad.”
The half-ogre sighed. “Nice of ye’ to catch up. He’s been yer dad for weeks according to him.”
“Who are Jazper and Veruk?” I asked.
“My aunt and uncle,” Haragh replied. “You’re godfather to their baby since ye’ helped deliver him.”
I stared. “I delivered an ogre baby?”
“Almost delivered it,” the half-ogre clarified. “Ye’ ended up throwin’ up all over the place, but it’s the thought that counts. Even helped name the baby. Shrek’s growin’ into a real feisty--”