by Susan Stoker
He straightened and met Bailey’s eyes for a moment. He had no idea what the emotions were that were swirling in her gaze, and her words didn’t give him any clue either.
“The sooner we get going, the sooner we can get back here and you can start learning base six . . . whatever that is,” Bailey told her brother.
Joel giggled. “Right. Let’s go then, slowpoke.”
Bailey turned to Joel and tousled his hair. “Who’s calling who a slowpoke, slowpoke?”
Nathan watched as brother and sister headed out of the kitchen giggling and playfully shoving at each other. He took a swig of the water and closed his eyes. Every word he’d said to Bailey was true, but he hoped with all his being that she’d choose him. He hadn’t lied. He loved her. More than anything. It was different from the kind of love he felt for his brothers and nephews. Deeper. More intense. And he knew without a doubt that if anything or anyone threatened either Bailey or Joel, he’d definitely kill to keep them safe.
Nathan didn’t know what that said about who he was as a man. But he didn’t care. It was as if he’d found the purpose to his life. Keeping Bailey and Joel Hampton safe and happy.
But first, he needed to get them toothpaste, a toothbrush, and shampoo. He’d figure out the rest after that.
Chapter Nineteen
Bailey had read the same page ten times, but she couldn’t keep her mind on the romance in front of her. They’d gone to the store and gotten the necessary toiletries. Nathan went overboard and also bought her some makeup, bought Joel some strong-smelling shower soap he insisted “all the boys were wearing,” and lotion, eye drops, cold medicine, and other various things one would normally have in a medicine cabinet.
When Bailey had asked him what in the world he was doing, Nathan had shrugged and said that it was better to be safe than sorry, and if any of them got sick, he wanted to have on hand what they needed to get better.
Bailey had stood stock-still in the middle of the aisle staring at Nathan as he put item after item into the basket. He was definitely buying too much, but she knew why he was doing it. His words echoed in her brain even now, hours after he’d said them.
My love for you isn’t dependent on you making love with me. Or sleeping with me. Or anything. It just is. Like we need air to breathe, water to drink, and food to eat.
She’d never felt love like that. Not ever. She knew her pa loved her, but as she’d gotten older and harder to handle, mostly what she’d felt was resentment from him. None of the men she’d slept with had loved her like that, certainly not Donovan. All they’d seen was easy pussy.
But Nathan. God. She wasn’t sure she loved him, but she wasn’t sure she didn’t either. What did she know about love? She loved her brother, but that wasn’t the same thing. She’d practically raised him.
She’d sat on the couch and listened as Nathan had explained base-six math to her little brother, and it had totally gone over her head. But Joel seemed to grasp it easily, and he was currently doing both subtraction and addition problems with it—for fun.
Listening to how patient Nathan was with her brother and how he laughed with him made tears spring to her eyes. He didn’t get frustrated with him when he didn’t get something, he didn’t belittle him or make him feel bad about it. He merely explained it a different way until Joel did understand it.
Nathan might be a math geek, but he was one of the best men she’d ever known. She had a feeling she wouldn’t ever meet another man who seemed to care as much about her brother as he did about her.
“You about ready to call it a night, buddy?” she heard Nathan ask Joel.
“Aw, do we have to?” Joel whined.
“It’s getting late. Don’t worry, we can do it again later. Maybe we’ll even give base four a try. It’s trickier, though, because the base is lower.”
“I can do it!” Joel said with enthusiasm.
“I’m sure you can. But you need your brain to be fresh before we start. Go on. Brush your teeth and get ready for bed.”
“Will you . . .” Joel hesitated, then said quickly, “Will you come say good night?”
Bailey’s head turned at that, and she caught Nathan kissing the top of Joel’s head gently before he said, “Sure thing, buddy. I’ll be in in about five minutes. That enough time?”
Her brother nodded happily, then sprang up from the chair and walked quickly down the hallway, disappearing from sight.
Nathan turned and Bailey stared at him for a long moment before whispering, “Your bed. Nude. With you next to me.”
And the smile that spread across his face was worth any embarrassment she might’ve felt for being so bold in telling him what she wanted.
Nathan didn’t come over to where she was sitting, though. He got up from the small dining-room table, carrying the glasses he and Joel had been using, and went into the kitchen. Bailey heard water running and the opening and closing of the dishwasher. She kept her eyes on the kitchen doorway.
Within moments Nathan came back out and stood with one hip resting against the table. His arms were crossed, and he held her eye contact for several beats before saying softly, “Don’t move. Stay right there, just like that. I’ll be back as soon as I get him settled.”
“I can do it,” Bailey said, just as quietly.
“I’ve got him.” Nathan’s eyes got soft, but they lit with an excitement and anticipation Bailey felt between her legs. “You have no idea how happy I am that you’re here in my house. On my couch. And soon you’ll be in my bed. I don’t want to rush anything about tonight. We both might be exhausted tomorrow, but it’ll be worth every second of lost sleep.”
Bailey shifted in her seat and felt the wetness between her legs. Good Lord, the man was lethal. How in the hell no woman had snatched him up by now would forever be a mystery. No matter his concerns about his performance in bed, Bailey had no doubt he was going to blow her mind.
“Okay. I’ll wait here,” she told him quietly.
He nodded, and without another word strode down the hall toward the room Joel would be sleeping in.
Putting her book aside, Bailey waited for Nathan to return. As she waited, she realized that this was the first time in a long time that she’d felt excited anticipation when it came to being with a man, rather than resignation, antipathy, or even disgust.
It took longer than she thought it would, but finally Nathan was back. He settled on the couch next to her and immediately pulled her into his side, tucking her against him as he usually did. But it felt different this time, more intimate.
“What took you so long?” Bailey teased. “I almost fell asleep out here.”
He grinned at her, letting her know he knew she was teasing before saying, “Joel had some concerns.”
The small smile that had been hovering on her lips disappeared in an instant. “Concerns? About what? I should go to him.” She made like she was going to get up, but Nathan tightened his arm around her.
“He’s a lot more observant than I would’ve thought, but I’m not surprised after being around Donovan and his friends. He saw that I couldn’t keep my eyes off you and wanted to make sure I wasn’t going to do anything you didn’t want me to.”
“Holy crap. Really?” Bailey breathed.
“Really. He knows he can ask me anything, and I’ll be honest with him.”
“What did you say?”
“The truth.”
Bailey bit her lip nervously. “And what’s that?”
Nathan lay back suddenly and pulled Bailey with him until he was flat on his back and she was lying on top of him. They touched from thighs to hips to belly and chest. He pulled her up until his cock was under her pussy and held her against him with both hands at her hips.
“That I loved you. Have loved you since practically the moment I saw you. That I would never make you do anything you didn’t want to do. I’d never hit you. Never hurt you.”
Bailey stared down at Nathan. She knew her eyes were huge in her face, but she cou
ldn’t help it. Even though he’d already told her he loved her, she was still shocked every time she heard it.
“How’d he take that?” she whispered.
Nathan picked his head up and kissed her temple, then her cheek, then lightly brushed his lips over hers. “He wanted to know if I was going to take you into my bedroom. I told him yes. But if he needed you in the middle of the night, he was welcome to come find you. I only asked him to knock first.”
“Donovan told him that he wasn’t allowed in his room at any time no matter what he heard or if he needed anything,” Bailey said softly.
“I know. Joel told me. That’s why I wanted to make sure he knew that not only were you going to be in my room of your own accord, but if at any time he wanted to check on you, or if he needed anything, he was welcome.”
Bailey felt the tears well up from her throat and swallowed hard before clearing her throat and licking her lips. “Should I be embarrassed that we’re about to fuck when my brother is down the hall?”
Nathan immediately shook his head. “No, because we’re not fucking. I can’t say there will never be a time when we fuck, but tonight won’t be that night. Bailey, I’m not an idiot. I know that Donovan probably went out of his way to be loud and obnoxious so that everyone around him knew exactly what he was doing . . . even if those around him were nine-year-old boys. That’s not me. It’s never going to be me. What happens between us is between us. Period.”
“In my entire life, I don’t think anyone has ever made love to me,” Bailey whispered, then dropped her forehead into the space between his shoulder and neck.
She felt Nathan’s arms slide up, not stopping at her lower back where he knew she was uncomfortable with him touching, and clutch at her shoulder blades, holding her to him. “Then I’m glad I get to be your first.”
Bailey smiled at that and couldn’t hold back the bitter chuckle. “That’s hilarious, considering my background.”
“Don’t look back, Bailey. Look at today and tomorrow. Remember?”
“I remember.” She picked up her head and raised up just far enough that she could reach his lips. She kissed him gently, then said against him, each word whispering against his lips as she spoke, “Take me to your bed, Nathan. Make love to me. I need you.”
Without another word, he helped her to her feet, then grabbed her hand and clasped it tightly as he led the way down the hallway to his bedroom. They both walked on silent feet, and Bailey noticed that Nathan was careful to shut his door without a sound. The consideration he showed her brother never failed to make her thankful she’d stopped to help him with his car in front of the grocery store a couple of months ago.
He pulled her to the side of the bed and put his hands on her hips, once again pulling her into his body. Her belly cradled his erection as he looked down at her with a heat in his eyes that almost scorched her.
“You want to use the bathroom?”
Bailey nodded.
“Okay. I brushed my teeth after I tucked Joel in. Take your time. I’ll be here waiting for you.” He squeezed her lightly, then took a step back.
Bailey nodded and headed for the small bathroom tucked into the corner of his room.
“Bailey?”
She turned at Nathan’s call.
“Thank you for giving me a chance.”
Having no words to explain that it didn’t feel like she was giving him a chance, but instead as if he were the one she should be thanking, she merely nodded, entered the bathroom, and shut the door behind her.
Five minutes later, Bailey stood in front of the mirror, naked. Her back was to the glass, and her head was twisted around, looking at the horrific words inked on her skin.
PROPERTY OF INCA BOYZ
D’S WHORE
Every time she saw it, it looked and felt worse. She shut her eyes and bowed her head in defeat. How could she even be thinking about letting Nathan make love to her? The memory of when she’d been given the tattoo sprung into her mind, and she gagged.
Donovan, Damian, Dominic, and whatever the name was of the guy who’d done the tattoo hadn’t cared about her feelings. Hadn’t cared that she’d begged them to let her up. They’d done what Donovan had wanted with no regard for her feelings about the tattoo. The humiliation of that moment was enough to bring her to her knees.
But then she remembered the look of uncertainty on Nathan’s face. Realized that he was as nervous about this as she was. Realized that he had body issues as much as she did. He wasn’t perfect, yet he was doing everything he could to make this moment perfect for her. For them. Hiding his own insecurities.
She wasn’t ready for him to see the tattoo, but she could give herself to him. And in giving herself to him, she’d give herself a gift. She wanted to know what sex could feel like when the person she was with actually cared about her. About her feelings and pleasure. In return, she could help make Nathan feel more secure about himself. About his lovemaking skills.
Licking her lips, Bailey took a deep breath. She’d procrastinated enough. She would go out into Nathan’s bedroom and make sure he knew that she only wanted to do it on her back. Under no circumstances would she get into any position where her tattoo would be exposed. And she knew Nathan would do just that.
She threw the shirt Nathan left on the counter over her body, its hem falling to midthigh, marched to the door, and threw it open before her newfound courage left her.
Nathan was sitting on the side of the bed, looking uncomfortable. His head whipped up, and he stood when she opened the door. He’d taken off his shoes and socks, had undone the button on his jeans, and his shirt was off. He stood there, shifting from one foot to the other as he stared at her.
Bailey’s eyes roamed down his body, pleased with what she saw. Just as she had the day when she’d walked in on him changing, she noticed his uncertainty. Feeling as if she had the upper hand in the situation for once, she slowly walked toward him, making sure to sway her hips more than necessary.
Seeing his eyes go from her face to her chest and her beaded nipples poking through his T-shirt, then down to her hips, Bailey smiled.
She walked right up to him and stood on tiptoe. She put her arms around his neck and pressed her body against his. The warmth of his skin seeped through the material of the shirt and into her soul.
“Hey,” she said softly.
“Hey,” he returned immediately, his hands going to her hips once more.
She was more than aware that ever since she’d told him about her tattoo, he’d taken great pains not to touch her lower back when they cuddled together. It only made him more precious to her.
“I think I’m supposed to be the one nervous here,” she told him with a small smile.
Nathan shook his head. “I want to make this good for you so badly. I don’t want to do anything that will make you think about what he did to you, and I’m scared to death I’m going to screw it up.”
“You won’t mess it up,” Bailey reassured him. “I can’t promise not to have any bad moments, but I do know you aren’t him. I could never mistake you for Donovan. Ever.” She reached back, took hold of one of his hands, and flattened it against her side, then slowly moved it up her body until he was cupping her breast through the shirt.
Nathan immediately took over and gently squeezed her flesh, then used his thumb and brushed over her rock-hard nipple until it stood up even more prominently through the shirt. Without a word, he bent and took the bud he’d been teasing into his mouth, sucking on her through the cotton.
Bailey’s head went back, and she moaned, clutching the back of his head as he bit, sucked, and teased her within an inch of her life. He pulled back, but his eyes stayed fixed on her chest. She looked down and saw that the white material was completely see-through now that it was soaked with his saliva. Even she had to admit it was as erotic a sight as she’d ever seen. Her dark-pink nipple stood out in stark contrast to the white of the shirt surrounding it.
Without a word, Nathan move
d to her other side, treating her other breast to the same treatment. His hand went back to the now-neglected nipple, keeping it taut as he worked on its twin.
Finally, he pulled back once more and examined his handiwork.
“Beautiful,” he murmured, running his thumbs over both nipples, now straining to break through the cotton shirt to get to him.
Bailey arched her back, pressing herself into his hands.
This time, it was Nathan who groaned. “You are so beautiful. Every inch.”
She wrinkled her nose and gestured to her arms. “My tattoos are stupid.”
“They aren’t. They’re a part of you.” He intertwined the fingers of his right hand with hers and held her arm out to the side. Then he proceeded to blow her mind.
Leaning forward, Nathan brushed his lips against each tattoo on her arm as he spoke. “The first time I saw you leaning over Marilyn, looking at her engine, I imagined you here . . . in my bed. I couldn’t take my eyes off these tattoos.” He licked a rose on her bicep, then nuzzled it with his nose. “A rose for beauty.” He traced the ink winding around her upper arm. “Barbed wire to keep everyone at arm’s length, but getting under that barrier is the greatest gift.”
His mouth touched the pistol, knife, and skull on her forearm. “So tough, yet tender at the same time.” Nathan looked up at her then as his fingers traced Joel’s initials on her wrist. Then he switched to her other hand, holding it just as tenderly as he did the right.
He continued to lavish affection on every inch of her arm. Not skimming over any of her ink, not even the stupid cartoon logo of the gang or the initials IB. Through it all he murmured beautiful words of love and adoration.
When he was done, Bailey felt like a pile of mush. No one had ever made her feel as cherished and treasured as Nathan just had.
Bailey brought her hands up to Nathan’s chest, running them over the slightly scratchy hair on his chest until she got to his nipples. He returned his hands to her breasts, never taking his eyes from hers. She mimicked his movements. When he pinched her buds, she did the same to his. When he lightly caressed her, she mirrored his caress on his own body. Soon, his own nipples were tight and hard on his chest. Without waiting for his permission, she leaned forward and licked one. Feeling powerful as a shudder went through him, Bailey got serious and sucked his small bud hard, flicking it with her tongue as she did.