by S. M. Shade
Flopping down at her desk, she rests her chin on her hand and groans, “I slept with him for the first time last night, and, damn, he nearly split me in half.”
“Janet!” Our laughter fills the office.
“Seriously, like anaconda big and he’s damn good with it.” Sigh. I had my own gifted anaconda once.
* * * *
Janet drags me through half of Indianapolis, but in the end it’s worth it. The soft beige colored slacks I found fit perfectly, hugging the curves of my ass. “Damn, Mace. Yoga’s been good to you,” Janet exclaims when I emerge from the dressing room.
The push up bra makes me actually look like I have cleavage and the clingy low cut blouse shows it off nicely. Paired with black ankle boots, even I have to admit, I look hot.
Janet turns and twists in front of the mirror with a frown. Her bright red sheath dress appears painted on, and unlike me, she has the breasts and hips to pull it off. “Good god, Jan. He’s going to rip that off you in two seconds.”
A delighted smile brightens her face. “You think so?”
“I hope you have panties that won’t show a line.”
“Who needs panties?” she scoffs. “Actually, scratch that. Let’s hit the lingerie store.”
I leave with three new bra and panty sets, despite my protests that I won’t be getting naked with this new guy anytime soon. “Doesn’t matter. Sexy underwear will make you feel pretty,” she insists, and I can’t argue with that.
Janet brings her clothes and makeup to my place so we can get ready together. My bathroom is a jumble of blow dryers, flat irons, and cosmetics, but we look fantastic.
Jensen is the first to show up. “Macy, it’s nice to see you. You look so pretty.” He gives me a hug and turns just in time to see Janet enter the room. I have to stifle a giggle as his jaw hits the ground. “Christ, woman. You trying to give me a heart attack?”
His hands wrap around her hips and he kisses her. “You look beautiful.”
Color fills her cheeks. “Thank you. Do you mind if we wait until Macy’s date shows before we go?”
His face hardens. “Macy has a date?”
“Well, I don’t dress like this to go to the grocery store,” I reply with a laugh. Stan chooses that moment to knock on the door. “That should be him.”
Stan looks exactly like his picture. Slim and cute in a boyish way. Non-threatening. Unlike the hulk of man towering over him, firing inappropriate questions. “Jensen!” I bark, when he asks if Stan’s ever been arrested. “I’ll be fine. Go show off your date.” As they leave, I turn to Stan and apologize. “Sorry, he’s a bit overprotective. Should we go?”
“Of course.”
He leads me to his car, his palm on the small of my back. I wish I could say it excited me the way Parker’s hand there did, but I feel nothing. Maybe tonight is a mistake, but I’m determined to give it a chance and try to enjoy myself. Besides, I don’t want to be rude.
Dinner is nice and we spend the time talking about our lives. Stan is a health food junkie, works at a vegan grocery store, volunteers at a foundation that encourages recycling, and loves sports.
I hate sports, love chocolate and grease, and go through my share of plastic bottles that get thrown away. About the time he’s lecturing me on the plastic pollution in the ocean, I realize I’m relieved. And bored. Bored because, well, he’s boring, but relieved because I’m not ready to like someone new and it obviously won’t be an issue tonight.
After dinner, he pulls up outside a miniature golf course. “Do you like putt putt?”
Not as much as drinks and dancing, or a movie. “Sure, I haven’t played since I was a kid, though. You might want to stand back.”
Chuckling, he catches my hand while we collect our clubs. I feel bad. He’s a sweet guy and it’s clear he thinks this is going well. I’m determined to smile and pretend I love putt putt. I don’t have to do it long. Just as I finally get the damn ball through the windmill, I look up into Parker’s furious face.
Parker
I knew the second I sent the flowers and cupcakes it was a mistake. I want her to know I’m proud of her achievement and that I’m thinking of her, but I know I’m sending mixed signals. I shouldn’t have done it.
Knowing that doesn’t keep me from listening for my phone all morning, hoping and dreading her call. Judging by the fact she sends a text instead of calling, she isn’t eager to talk to me. I tap her name on my contact list and gaze at her picture. She’s smiling, the sun going down behind her. My finger hovers over the call button for a few long seconds before I put down the phone. She deserves better.
The next two weeks are a slow torture. I resist calling her every day and it doesn’t help that Everly keeps trying to get me to do it. She starts in again when Mason leaves us alone to check on the upper level of the gym. “You’re miserable. Face it, you love her. Quit being a stubborn jackass and call her.”
“She’s finally getting her life back together. I’m not screwing that up for her. You know what it’s like to be with a Reed brother, Ev. It puts you at risk and with Macy’s past.” I sigh, running my hands through my hair. “She doesn’t need this.”
Ev’s hands land hard on my chest, shoving me onto the bench. “Yes, it’s true being with one of the infamous Reed brothers isn’t a walk in the park, but not because of your job. Coping with cops and crazy exes is nothing compared to dealing with your stubborn asses. Marrying a Reed is the best thing that ever happened to me, you idiot.”
After a few tense moments, I peek up at her. “You only knocked me off my feet because you caught me off guard.”
Despite her best efforts to stay mad, a smile slips through. “I’m not the only one who knocked you off your feet. Get your shit together, Park, before it’s too late.”
Mason appears in the doorway, and she waves at him. “She has a date tonight.” With those words burning their way through my chest, she walks away.
A date. Macy has a date. Tonight. Some asshole douche is trying to move in on her while she’s vulnerable. I’ll be damned if some opportunistic prick is going to touch my girl. Ev either won’t tell me where Douche Nozzle is taking Macy, or she doesn’t know. It’s after seven o’clock now, he could’ve picked her up already. I have to hurry.
The universe is working against me. Not only do I catch every red light between here and Macy’s apartment, I get stuck behind a damn street sweeper. Five fucking miles per hour and it takes forever to get around it.
When I finally get there, the only parking space I can squeeze my truck into is nearly half a block away. Before I have a chance to get out, I see two people emerge from Macy’s apartment. Jensen? That’s Jensen! I’ll kill him! He leans down to kiss her as they walk under a streetlight, which illuminates Janet’s face and saves me from attacking a man three times my size.
Relief makes me feel weak, but it doesn’t last long. Macy appears with a nerdy man-boy by her side and the only thing that keeps me from rushing in like a rhino is the expression on her face. She’s smiling. I can’t wipe that smile away.
The douche opens the door of his VW Beetle—what man drives a Beetle?—and she climbs inside. I only have a second to decide what to do when they pull away. I follow them. I’m officially a creepy stalking ex.
He takes her to a small well known steakhouse, and I can see them seated at a table by the front window. She’s so beautiful, her raven hair caught up at the crown with some kind of clip and cascading down her back. Pale skin is offset by pink lipstick and blushed cheeks. I can make her blush without makeup.
I should leave. I should go. This is wrong, but I’ve missed her so much and I can’t take my eyes off of her. When they leave the restaurant, I’m a few cars behind them. If they go to a club, I won’t follow. I can’t watch them dance together. If he kisses her, I’ll lose it.
I can’t help laughing out loud when they pull into a miniature golf course. Is this guy twelve? Macy gives him a smile. I recognize that polite smile. She’s not t
hrilled with how things are going.
My amusement comes to an abrupt halt when he catches her hand in his. White hot jealousy shoots through me. That juvenile bitch is touching Macy. Touching what’s mine. Enough of this shit. She’s coming with me.
“Sir, admission is five dollars,” the lady at the counter calls as I charge through. Her words barely register. He’s holding her hand. Just before I reach them, he steps back so she can take her swing, and I plant myself in front of her.
Chocolate eyes widen and her jaw drops. “Parker? What?” I don’t give her a chance to finish. Sliding an arm under her firm ass I scoop her over my shoulder and head for the exit. “Parker? What the fuck?” She instantly starts struggling.
“What the fuck is right. That prick was touching you. What the hell are you doing with that guy? A miniature golf course? Does he think you’re five years old?”
“You left me, you asshole! It’s none of your business who I date!” Her tiny fists pound my back. “Put me down! This is embarrassing!”
I’m shoved hard when I place her on her feet beside the truck. The tips of her ears glow a bright red. Douche Nozzle approaches warily, looking terrified. “Macy, is everything okay?”
“I’m sorry, Stan. I’ve had a lovely time tonight, but I have an issue.” She hisses the word, glaring at me. “I need to deal with.”
“Uh, sure,” he stammers. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“The fuck you will,” I growl, and Macy shoves me again as he scampers away.
“You don’t get a fucking say! You left me! I’ve spent weeks trying to get over you and now, when I’m finally moving on, you pull this shit!”
The waver of her chin makes me feel like a complete prick. “Do you want him, Mace?” I ask quietly.
“None of your damn business!”
“It is!” I bark. “I fucked up and let the best thing in my life get away. Now the only woman I’ve ever loved is dating a pubescent dipshit.”
Watery eyes peek up at me with a hint of amusement. “Pubescent dipshit?”
“Pansy douche nozzle pubescent dipshit, yes.”
“You love me?”
My hand threads into her hair. “Too goddamn much to function.”
Her forehead falls to my chest. “I can’t do this with you. You have no idea what the last few weeks have been like for me.”
“I’ve been in the same hell,” I whisper, stroking her hair.
“You put me there.”
“I know. You have every right to be pissed. Please, give me a chance. Let’s go talk. We can go to my place.”
My heart sinks when she shakes her head, until I hear her whisper, “My place.”
* * * *
Macy’s apartment is warm and comfortable. She pours us each a glass of wine and gestures toward the living room. “Make yourself at home.”
I hate how far away she sits. After weeks without her, all I want is to hold her, keep her close. “I’m sorry, Mace. For so many things, but especially for putting you in danger. When I walked in that room and saw Al with his hands on you…” My hands run through my hair. “I failed you. You needed me and I failed you.”
“You’re right,” she says and waits for me to look at her. “I needed you and you weren’t there, but it wasn’t the day Al found me. It was every day after. I needed you, but not to protect me from danger or talk me through a panic attack. I needed you to love me like I did you.”
Her words eat through me. I’m an idiot. Falling to my knees in front of her, I slide my hands beneath her thighs and rest my head in her lap. “You said you did love me. Past tense. Have I lost you?”
I’m surrounded by her sweet smell and my stomach churns awaiting her answer. How the hell did I let a woman get so much control over me? Her next words could destroy me or piece me back together.
“I love you. I couldn’t stop if I wanted to, but I’m not the person you think I am. I’m not weak. I can handle more than you think I can.”
Why would she think I find her weak? Her eyes brim with tears when I meet her gaze. “I never thought you were weak. Christ, you’re the strongest woman I know. No matter what happens, you keep going. You pulled your life back together after that asshole dragged you through hell. You make me weak. No one has ever gotten to me the way you have. I don’t know how to deal with it.”
Her palm is soft on my jaw. “We can be strong for each other.” Her arms wrap around me when I sit beside her and pull her into my lap. “I missed you so much.”
“Me too. You’re the other half of me. My sweet little doll.”
Her embrace tightens. “Can we stay like this a while?”
“Please.”
We stay cuddled together for nearly an hour, just reveling in the relief of being together. This is what I want. What I need for the rest of my life. “Park?” she murmurs, trailing a finger down my arm.
“Hmm?”
“I really have to pee.”
“So…I should do this?” She squeals when I tickle her ribs and squirms off my lap.
Her musical giggle heals something inside me I didn’t realize was broken. “I should totally pee on you.”
“I’m not really into that,” I reply, helping her to her feet.
“Good to know. I’m starving,” she calls back over her shoulder on her way to the bathroom. “I barely ate any dinner.”
“Pizza and a movie?” I suggest when she returns.
“Sounds good.”
An hour later, while we’re lounging around the living room, talking and laughing like we were never apart, Macy’s phone rings. “I figured she’d be calling,” she remarks, sending the caller to voice mail. “Everly,” she explains. “She set me up with Stan so I assume he told her what happened.”
My head whips toward her. “Ev set you up with him?”
“He’s some guy Ian works with, I think.” Curiosity fills her face. “Why?”
“That sneaky little…” I shake my head, laughing. “Who do you think told me you had a date tonight?”
Her mouth is a perfect O. “Ev…that crafty bitch. She orchestrated this whole thing.”
“I’m going to send her the biggest bouquet of flowers, and jewelry, and…what else would she like?”
“You could pay to remove my foot from her ass,” she exclaims. “She totally manipulated us.”
“Yep, but I have you in my arms, so I forgive her.”
Soft hands creep up my chest. “Park?”
“Hmm?”
“Will you take me to bed? I need to feel you.” Like she had to ask.
Her lips are soft and pliant beneath mine as I unfasten her jeans. She slips out of them and pulls off her blouse. “Fuck, baby.” I’ve never seen Macy in sexy lingerie. It’s not something one would pack to run from a crazy ex.
Tiny pale blue boyshorts lined with white lace just barely allow her firm cheeks to peek out. A matching blue and white bra pushes up her breasts, and all I want to do is bury my face between them.
Her head tilts to the side, and I accept the invitation, kissing down her neck. “Did you wear these for that Kindergartener? Hmm? Was he going to see these sexy little panties tonight?”
“No,” she breathes. “I just wanted to feel feminine, feel pretty.”
“You’re beautiful, Macy. So damn beautiful no matter what you wear.” I unclip her bra and slide down her panties. “But I love these.”
“I chose them because they’re the color of your eyes. Your fuck me eyes.”
“You’re killing me.”
I have to tell myself to go slow when all I want to do is dive inside her and never come out. Sweet, breathy moans fill my ears as I kiss every inch of her tight little body. Fists pull my hair while I give her orgasm after orgasm with my tongue, before urging her onto her side and lying behind her.
“Please, Parker,” she whispers as I slip on a condom.
I grab her ankle and angle her leg back to drape over my thigh, and slide completely inside her. “Damn, sweet
heart, you feel so good.” Long firm strokes draw the sexiest sounds from her throat. “Is it good, baby?”
“So good. Don’t stop. I’m going to come again. God, you’re so deep.”
“I need every inch of you.” Her head flies back when I reach for her clit, rubbing both of her sensitive spots at once, inside and out. I feel her clamp around me before I’m overwhelmed by sensation, stealing all thought and self-awareness.
“I love you,” she murmurs, turning to cuddle into my chest.
“I love you, doll.”
We wake in the same position we fell asleep. I don’t think either of us moved a muscle all night. It’s the best night’s sleep I’ve had in weeks. Silky hair lies in a spray across my chest and I can’t keep my fingers out of it.
“Mmm, good morning,” she says, her voice raspy with sleep.
“Morning, doll.” Her ankle gives a loud pop when she stretches. “How’s your ankle doing?”
“Pretty much back to normal. Aches a little when I’m on it too long.”
“What about the panic attacks?”
The bed squeaks as she rolls to her stomach. “I have it under control.” Embarrassment briefly mars her face. “I’m seeing a therapist.”
“I’m glad it’s helping.”
Serious eyes pin me in place. “I don’t want you to take care of me. You don’t need to protect me anymore. You can’t baby me.”
“I’ll always protect you. You’ll just have to deal with that. That doesn’t mean I think you’re weak or that I’ll baby you. Well, sometimes.” I pull her into my arms. “I’ll have to hold you like this, maybe kiss your forehead. That’s not babying, right?”
A soft smile curls her lips. “A little, but I think I can tough it out.”
“That’s my girl.”
Her hands fidget in her lap. “What have you been doing? Were you…have you dated anyone else?”
“No. Nobody.”
“No sex?”
“Baby, feel my palm. It’s chapped for a reason.”
Laughing, she rolls out of bed and bends over her dresser, rummaging through her drawer. “I’m going to shower, then I’ll make us some breakfast.”