by A. S. Green
For a second, my gut twists at his absence. Damn him. Damn him for making me still care.
“And then what happened?” Bennet asks.
I clench my teeth and refocus my attention on my friends. “Okay. We had a thing.” I narrow my eyes at a grinning Kate. “And, yes, it was awesome. He was the sweetest, most caring person I’d ever met, and it was the most amazing time of my life, right up until Elise found out she was pregnant and made us all go home early.”
“Made you?” Bennet asks.
Kate had the same reaction when I told her.
“Well, it was Aaron’s baby, obviously. And Aaron was our ride home. If Elise wanted to go, Aaron was going, so that was one part. But mostly it was because Elise needed me. She was scared.”
Kate and Bennet exchange a look. Again, they’re dumbfounded. I understand this part. I didn’t want to leave Jax, but he was so sensitive, so caring when I told him what was going on.
“Elise needs me. She wants me to go home with all of them. Her mom isn’t going to be gentle when Elise tells her she’s knocked up. She’ll need her best friend.”
My breathing escalated as he smiled and tucked a lock of hair behind my ear. It got even faster when his gaze moved over my face, the soft, patient look in his eyes making me tingle.
“Which is why you’re thinking of going home to take care of your girl. I get it. That’s the kind of person you are, and that’s why it’s so easy to love you.”
That’s right. After only five weeks together, Jax said the L word without any hesitation—just sheer conviction—which is why my heart broke into a million pieces right then and there.
He held my face in his hands and kissed me.
No, that’s too small of a word.
The way he used his hands, his lips…his kiss said something. It was a message meant to touch somewhere deep inside me and leave a lasting message that I would never forget. Well, mission accomplished, bucko. I remember every bit of that message, except now I know it was all a lie.
“I’m going inside to hear the last set,” he said as he wiped the tears off my cheeks. “Don’t want to miss Chantry’s drum solo.” He leaned in to make sure I could hear him. “Don’t worry. Everything’s going to work out. We have a future together, Natalie. Can you feel it?”
“I can feel it.”
“I knew you could. I knew it wasn’t just me.”
“Are you kidding me?” Bennet asks. “And you didn’t keep in touch with him after that?”
I shrug off the pain. “He never called me.”
“And you didn’t call him?” Bennet asks, this time louder. Kate steps closer and takes his arm.
I sigh. If I could do it over… “You know how it is. After so much time went by…and he hadn’t called me…I mean, I got the message, y’know?”
Bennet and Kate look at me like I’m the biggest idiot on the planet. They might be right.
“Give me a break. I was eighteen. I did try to find him on social media for over a year, though.”
“I just don’t understand how he doesn’t remember you,” Kate says, sounding truly baffled.
“Wait. He doesn’t remember you?” Bennet’s eyes flash and, if I didn’t know any better, I’d swear he was about to go after Jax and shake some sense into him. That feels kinda good.
“I looked a lot different back then. Skinnier. Blue hair, glasses.”
“Oh, come on,” Bennet says like he doesn’t buy it. “Does he look so different?”
I exhale. He acts like a completely different person than the sweet, funny guy I once knew, but in the looks department, not much has changed. “Older, of course, but otherwise he’s how I left him.” Completely decadent.
Bennet snorts, making me think I might have said that last thought out loud. Whatever.
Right now I’m more focused on the strain that’s been on Jax’s face all day. It was never there when I knew him before, even with all he’d told me about his messed-up parents: how his dad ditched them, and his mom turned to drugs.
He often spoke of Gram, the grandmother who raised him. He credited her for keeping him from turning into a “piece of shit” like his parents. I know he loved her.
How strange it is that I should know such intimate details about a person who sees me as a stranger.
“In a couple hours, he’ll be the one leaving,” Kate says. “You should go find him and…say hi, or ’bye, or whatever it is you need to say. Don’t let a misunderstanding fester. I learned that from the best.” She leans into Bennet, and he chuckles and kisses her forehead.
I groan and walk away out of habit. If they’re going to slip into another one of their goo-goo-eyed love fests, I don’t want to be anywhere near them. I’m halfway out the exit before I remember this was the direction Jax went.
When the cool night air hits my face, it strips away the fine film of dance-hall sweat that has settled over my forehead and behind my knees. Jax is pacing in front of his SUV, one hand wrapped around the back of his neck, the other still pressing his phone to his ear.
“You have got to be shitting me!” he exclaims. “Seriously? No! No. I don’t want you to explain it again.”
Welp. Something’s not good. I turn to go inside before he can catch me eavesdropping. My escape is thwarted by Kate.
“Nat! The band is playing a Foo Fighters cover. You’ve got to come in and—” She breaks off, and her voice drops low. “Why are you just standing here?”
I gesture subtly in Jax’s direction. “He’s on the phone. He sounds angry.”
Kate’s eyes widen, and she looks past me to where Jax is still pacing.
His voice is even louder now. “How am I supposed to find a replacement in one day? I’m in the middle of fucking nowhere, and I’ve got no time before tomorrow’s dinner.”
“I think he got some bad news,” Kate whispers to me.
“No shit, Sherlock,” I whisper back.
“Well, thanks. Thanks for nothing,” he says, hanging up without saying goodbye. He cocks his arm back, phone in hand, and swings toward the woods, but on the snap he thinks better of it and doesn’t let go. His shoulders slump, and he glares at the phone before he slips it back into his pocket. He drags a hand over his face as he turns to find us watching him.
His body goes rigid. I count to five before he finally says, “There trouble inside?”
I turn toward the door, but Kate stops me with a hand on my elbow and forces me back around. “No. Actually, we were wondering if you were having some trouble.”
He blinks once. Then his face goes even harder. “Sorry. I didn’t realize I was being so loud.”
“You weren’t,” she says. “We came out to get some air. We didn’t know you were on the phone.”
“I see.” His eyes dart between me and Kate. I look down and use the toe of my shoe to nudge a woolly bear caterpillar that’s making its way across the parking lot.
“So…anything wrong?” Kate asks.
“No,” he says.
“You’re sure?” she prods.
Jax inhales sharply, and it almost sounds like he’s giving in. I hear him step closer. “A woman I sometimes contract with bought a house six months ago.”
“Tragic,” I say, rolling my eyes, because, like, who gets mad about someone buying a house?
Kate stabs me in the side with her pointy elbow. I keep on nudging the caterpillar with my foot. Run, little fella. Get out of this extremely awkward scene while you still have a chance.
Jax stops several feet away from us but keeps talking. “I told her it was stupid to do something so permanent. Now, all of a sudden, she’s got a backed-up sump pump, a flooded basement, and she has to deal with ripping all the carpet out and shit before she gets mold, and she’s got insurance guys coming in tomorrow…”
“I’m sorry,” Kate says with a nervous laugh. “That sounds awful.”
Jax puts his hands on his hips, pushing the sides of his suit coat back. I catch sight of a holstered gun, and his
broad chest expands, straining his shirt. He looks like a freakin’ action hero.
“She was supposed to assist me on a job in Chicago tomorrow night. So much for that. She’s bailed, so now I’ve got to call the client and tell them there’s a delay.”
Aw, I think. First memory loss, now problems with HR.
“Natalie,” Kate says suddenly, making me jerk my head up. “Take Natalie.”
“What?” Jax and I both say together. I even smack her on the arm again. She’s going to be seriously bruised by tomorrow if she keeps this up.
“Why not?” Kate asks, grabbing my arm so I can’t hit her again. “Natalie’s got good office skills, and she’s also a great prep cook when they need more help in the kitchen. And it’s not just that, either. Natalie can do it all.”
Kate sounds like a proud mother who’s trying to get her little kid into the gifted-and-talented program, and she’s showing no signs of stopping. “She’s also a postmaster—”
“My dad’s the postmaster,” I say, accentuating every word and staring at her with my best would-you-please-shut-up expression. I turn to Jax. “I just help out.”
“And,” Kate says, “she volunteers at the medical clinic in New Porte, and she’s a fill-in DJ at the local radio station. If anyone on Little Bear needs anything, Natalie’s our go-to girl. I swear I don’t know what this place would do without her.”
“Oh my God. Stop.” I can’t believe she just tried to impress Jax with the fact that I’ve got no life of my own, but I can kind of cook and I’m a really good helper. Shoot me now.
“What?” Kate asks, like she seriously doesn’t get it.
I press my palm over my forehead. I think I’m having an existential crisis, and Jax is staring at Kate like she’s lost her ever-lovin’ mind. When he was talking about some woman who was supposed to “assist” him, I don’t think he was talking about needing a banquet hostess or a part-time DJ.
I say what needs to be said so Jax doesn’t have to. “Don’t listen to her. I don’t know anything about whatever work you do. Besides, I’ve got…obligations of my own. Kate needs me here and—”
“I don’t need you,” she says.
Ouch. Thanks for throwing me under the bus there, girlfriend. She smiles at me, like she knows exactly what I’m thinking.
“You’re right,” Jax says, frowning. A few long seconds pass between us. Too many. Then he says, “You’ve got no training, and this is going to require more than a pretty face.”
My head jerks back. I’m not sure how to take his meaning, and I can’t decide if I’m more offended or flattered. “You think that’s all I am?”
“I’m trying to figure that out. Actually…I think you might be trying to figure that out for yourself, too.”
His words touch the rawest nerve, and I can’t help but lash out. “You don’t know anything about me.”
Anger slashes across his face. “I know more than enough about you. And I’ll say this as politely as I can, but I don’t need to be weighed down by some small-town island girl with a stick up her ass. Is that who you are?”
“Ex-cuse me?” He’d been almost nice to me inside with my bloody dress. Now we’re back to this?
“So, this is off to a rip-roaring start,” Kate mutters.
“Y’know what?” I say. “Have fun in Chicago on your own.”
“Good. I need someone who won’t flake when things go sideways.”
“Flake?” I fire back, even though I meant to walk away. Why am I even talking to him anymore? For some reason, I can’t stop.
“I’ll have you know, Mister Badass Whatever You Are, I practically run this island. I know how to do nearly every job there is to do…except drive the ferry. I can’t do that.” Damn. “But I can do everything else, and I always show up to do it. No sick days. No vacation. If anyone’s in trouble, who do they call? Me. That’s who.”
“That’s true,” Kate adds.
“You saw what happened in the kitchen?” I say, now on a definite roll. I know he did. I only ask to make my point. “That was just an average Thursday for me.”
“Yeah,” he says, his tone softening. “You’re right. I do need a woman who won’t get squeamish when things get messy. I saw what you did. Blood everywhere. Ruined dress. You stayed in control. Didn’t freak. Handled the mess.”
I think that’s a compliment. I acknowledge it with a jerk of my chin.
“And considering the assignment…” His eyes move down the length of my body. “It doesn’t hurt that you look like a sex kitten in that dress.”
Oh, for God’s sake. My hands ball into fists. Kate muffles a laugh, and I give her a dirty look.
“It’ll be a full twenty-four-hour job. Pay’s nine hundred.”
My head and Kate’s both swing in his direction. He can’t be serious.
“Considering your lack of training, you’d have to be good with taking direction.”
“She’s good with that,” Kate says, still being oh-so-helpful.
“I don’t tolerate being yelled at, Mr. Sparke.” Why am I adding terms to this arrangement? There’s no way in hell I’m going to be his, or anyone’s, assistant sex kitten. “I can take directions, but only if I’m treated with respect. Don’t call me a bitch. Nobody calls me a bitch.”
He crosses his arms. “Even when you’re being one?”
“Especially then.”
“Fine,” he says, and I suck in my breath. “But on the job you’d have to be professional, courteous, and cordial.”
I inhale sharply through my nose, not sure what’s happening. “I can do cordial.”
Jax glances at Kate for confirmation. It looks like he thought that one was going to be the deal breaker.
“She can be cordial,” Kate says.
Jax exhales and bows his head. “We’d be on the road together.” He looks up and hooks his thumbs into his pockets. There’s something quieter about this statement, and that makes it more real. He’s serious about taking me with him. My heart pounds in my chest. I can’t believe I’m considering this. Another road trip with Jax.
Wait. “Why aren’t you going to fly?”
Plane tickets are cheap from Minneapolis to Chicago, and Jax hadn’t struck me as someone with money problems. I saw his invoice in Kate’s folder. It was substantial. He probably only does celebrity security because no one else can afford him.
“I never fly,” he says, his tone flat.
I’d ask why not, but I can tell he’d say it was none of my business.
“Nine hours’ drive to Chicago. One night there, then the next morning I got another job to get to, so I’ll stick you on a plane back home. That’s twenty-four solid hours. With me.”
I blink profusely but steel my jaw. I know what he’s doing. He’s giving me an out. He doesn’t think I can hack it, and I can’t blame him. I barely lasted five minutes in his SUV this morning.
“I don’t mind quiet,” he says, “but I don’t like silent treatments. And I don’t have patience for women who throw attitude around for no reason.”
I jut out my chin but don’t respond. He’s still an ass, but this isn’t about him. This is about me. This is a real opportunity to get away from the island for a little bit, and I don’t want to fuck it up. Even if it means twenty-four hours with the douche canoe who broke my heart, I’ll take it. At the very least, I’ll get to see Chicago.
“I’ll pay for your airfare, but there are no other benefits. You’re a consultant, not an employee. No workers’ comp, and I don’t withhold taxes, so you’re on your own there, too.”
“Fine,” I say.
“Fine?” His head jerks up. He didn’t see this coming any more than I did.
“Yeah, fine. I’m in.”
“You’re kidding.” His eyes are wide. I can’t tell if he’s horrified or relieved. “Just like that?”
“Seriously?” Kate asks me, and her glee is not in any way restrained.
I shoot her a sideways glance, then ask him, “Whe
n do we leave? I’m going to have to let my dad and the clinic know I’ll be gone.”
“That’s it?” His eyebrows come together in an inverted V. “No other questions?”
“Yeah. That’s it.”
His forehead furrows. “Tomorrow morning. Eight a.m. I’ve got a cottage on the mainland for the night at the…um…” He glances behind him at the SUV, where presumably he’s got all his paperwork.
“At the Rainy Cove Resort,” Kate says. “Unit twelve.”
“Unit twelve,” he says, turning back to face us. “I can’t afford to wait, so eight o’clock sharp.”
“I won’t be late.”
He continues to stare at me like he can’t believe my answer. I almost say, Well, that makes two of us, buddy. Instead, I flash him my best smile to signify that I totally (totally!) know what I’m doing.
His eyes drop to my mouth, so I whirl around lest he cotton on to the fact I have no idea what just happened. What in the holy hell have I gotten myself into?
Chapter Nine
Jackson
12:28 a.m.
I park my Escalade in one of the few remaining spots at the Rainy Cove Resort and sit there for a second wondering, What in the hell have I done?
When I have no answer, I drag my sorry ass out of the cab. Unlike New York, it’s dark. Quiet. Unsettling. The only sounds that break through the stillness are the waves on the shore and—suddenly now—the laughter of drunk wedding guests still on California time. Peering down the row of cabins, I can just make out a few people seated on a candlelit porch.
The key to cabin twelve turns easily in the lock, and I waste no time getting the door closed behind me. I drop my overnight bag and knock the back of my skull against the solid wood panel. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”
I rake my hand through my hair. Six years and somehow Natalie O’Brien still manages to have me by the balls. So smart-mouthed. Still so beautiful.
She looks amazing. Of course Charlie would pick this moment to speak up.
I punch my fist against the door. “Fuck!”
My eyes land on the old upholstered chair in the corner of the room. Annoyed with myself and cursing fate, I strip off my jacket and toss it onto the armrest. It slides off the cushion and lands on the floor.