I can't make out much around me. There are people there, but no one talks to me. Or maybe they do, but I can't hear them because it isn't relevant to what the vision wants me to know. I don't understand that, either. Most of my visions are about other people. The only one I've had about myself was the one about Ravi and what he'd do to me if I didn't go along with his plans for the vampires he caught.
I want to shudder at the thought, but I'm too gripped in the vision to. The fact that Ravi is still alive scares me. I know he's locked away in a place he can't hurt me, or anyone else, but he's still in the world. Despite everything we went through, Ashryn is still too good of a person for the world.
I close my eyes, hoping it'll stop the vision. Of course, it doesn't. It's not really happening, at least, not yet. So there's no way that it will change, especially if I'm the one asking.
Pain lances through my abdomen. I glance down and see my hands covered in blood. My eyes widen. It's the same vision as last time, but there's more of it. This hasn't happened often enough for me to know what to do next. Typically, my visions happen once, and then not again. And if they do, it's a repeat of the first time.
But this is different.
I hold my hands up higher. Blood drips from them. What have I done?
No. That's the wrong question.
What am I going to do? The moment the guild fell, I promised myself I'd never kill again, unless it's unavoidable. I don't like the idea of it happening.
The pain comes again. I'm going to be sick. That's what it is.
This time, it sears through me. It's not sickness. I haven't killed anyone.
The blood is mine.
I open my mouth and let out the scream of pain that's been building within me.
"Lily?" a voice calls out.
Someone shakes my shoulder. I don't know how that's possible in a vision. Maybe it's the person who stabbed me?
I try to turn and see who it is, but pain radiates from the wound in my stomach. I hunch over, crying out again.
"Lily?" the voice repeats.
Wait. The person isn't part of my vision. I can sense it.
"Lily?" It's Bryce. And he's shaking me, trying to wake me up. A wave of affection floods me, almost washing away the pain. I didn't realise he cared.
I close my eyes, grateful to find it works this time, though maybe it's because I'm dying in my vision and my body is failing. I have no way of knowing, this hasn't happened before.
"Lily?" this time, he sounds closer.
My eyes snap open, and I gasp for breath. My throat constricts from lack of air.
"Finally," Bryce says.
"What happened?" I croak.
He hands me my bottle of water from beside the bed. I take it, gulping it down and letting it soothe my aching throat. Why do I feel as if I've run a marathon? I've not felt this way after a vision before.
"You were screaming," he says softly.
I struggle to sit up, weak from the dream. To my surprise, Bryce leans in and helps me, propping up my pillow so I can sit back against it.
The sheet falls away from me, and I'm suddenly a little self-conscious about the oversized t-shirt I'm wearing. It has a habit of riding up and revealing a bit too much leg, or falling off my shoulder and leaving the skin bare. I've never been bothered by either of those things before, but with Bryce in the room with me...
I push the thought away. He's my jailor, nothing more.
"Screaming?" I repeat, realising it's been too long since I said anything.
"Yes, it's a good job they took the soundproofing charms off the walls between our rooms."
"They did?" Shock fills my voice.
He chuckles. "Of course. How else am I to know if you're murdering someone in here?"
"I never murdered anyone," I mutter under my breath, my voice is still sore, but it's getting better with every moment I'm awake. "I believe what I did is assassination."
A wry smile stretches over his face. "Is there a difference?"
I shrug. "An assassination is ordered, a murder is more a crime of passion?" I suggest. Deep down, I know he's right. There isn't a difference.
"Hmm." The noise should be dismissive, but I can tell there's something more to it. "Does it make you any less guilty if it's assassination?" he asks.
I think about it for a moment. "No. Even if someone else decided I was going to do it, I wielded the knife. I'm guilty of taking a life, but not guilty of doing it maliciously." That's a stretch.
"Are you truly trying to tell me that vampire hunters aren't malicious?"
"Weren't," I correct. "Unless you've forgotten, the guild is no longer in business.
"I haven't."
"The honest answer is that some hunters loved it. Others hated it."
"And you're the latter?" He raises an eyebrow. I'm not sure he believes it.
"I don't know," I admit, unsure where this honesty is coming from. "Don't get me wrong, I wasn't a fan of the death part. If I never have to kill anyone ever again, I'll be happy. But I liked having a purpose. I liked belonging. But..." I trail off, unable to say the words that stick in my throat.
"But?" He leans forward eagerly.
"I didn't have a choice. In any of it. I told you I was sold, right?"
He nods.
"And that's just it. The guild owned me, and they never let me forget it. I was always their plaything to do their bidding. I was never allowed to be a child. I had a teddy when I arrived at the guild, a battered thing Mum gave me. It had lost one of its eyes." I laugh sadly at the memory of my precious bear. "The week after I arrived at the guild, they burned it in front of me. Other than my weapons, that was the last thing I ever owned."
"You don't own anything?"
I shake my head. "Everything I had at the guild was provided for me. Our clothes were passed from one hunter to the next on laundry days. I had a favourite dress that I tried to get every week, most people did. But they didn't belong to us. And now..." I swallow the lump in my throat. "There's stuff in this room, that I use every day, but it's all been chosen for me. Because I need it. None of it is mine. Not since the teddy."
"I'm sorry," he whispers. "I lost all my belongings too," he says.
I cock my head to the side, surprised. "How?"
"It doesn't matter." The tone in his voice tells me all I need to know. He won't expand on the statement, no matter how hard I push. "What happened to make you scream?" he asks, changing the subject.
"I had a vision." There's no point in lying about it.
"What happened?"
I shrug. "I died."
Shock crosses his face. "Do they always come true?" he asks.
"I've never known them not to," I admit.
"Then why aren't you more bothered about it?" Confusion has replaced the shock.
"What can I do about it? I don't know when it'll happen, or how, just that it will. I can either go through the rest of my life worrying about it, or I can make the best of it." I swing my legs around, the sheet slipping away from them and revealing my shirt has rolled up, just like I thought it had.
Bryce's gaze flicks to my bare skin, but I don't mention it to him. I don't want to make things weird between us.
"Where are you going?" he asks once I'm on my feet.
"I'm going to go and make some tea. Do you want some?"
The expression on his face suggests he wants to talk more about visions of my death, but I'm not going to answer any more of his questions. Not when I don't have answers myself.
"Yes," he says after a moment.
"Excellent. I'll put the kettle on, then." I leave the room, hoping the echoes of my vision stay there and don't haunt me still.
Chapter Ten
The moment I step into the classroom, I know something is different, and it has nothing to do with the odd looks being thrown my way as I take my seat, with Bryce one step behind. The tension in the room is almost excited. At least, that's what I think it is.
I try to push away
my vision from the night before. It isn't something I should be dwelling on if I want to get anything done with my day. I've learned the hard way over the years. My visions tell me what's going to happen, not how I can change or avoid it.
The professor walks in a moment later. She's a portly woman who I have a lot of questions about. A lot of vampires seem to stay young and attractive, though not all. I have to wonder if she looked this way before she was turned, or if there's more to it. Perhaps it's possible to overgorge on blood?
"Good evening, class," she sing-songs out. "I'm sure you all read my email."
My eyes widen. I definitely haven't done that.
"Here," Bryce whispers, sliding his tablet over to me.
I scan the message, remembering the woman's name is Professor Dennis. "Oh, no."
Bryce chuckles. "Not looking forward to working in a group with someone?"
"When most of the class hates me, definitely not."
"They don't hate you."
"Like you don't hate me?" I throw back.
He shuts up, not wanting to unpack that one. The thing is, I'm not sure he hates me as much as he claims he does. I'm not sure I dislike him as much as I should, either. Now we've spent some time together, I think his gruff personality is simply a result of him hiding something. I don't press him on what. He'll either tell me, or he won't. I can live with both of those.
"Hi," the girl from the library, Emma, says as she pulls up a chair opposite our desk. "Looks like the three of us are working together." She flashes me a wide smile, one that's completely devoid of fangs. It's only then I realise how few vampires I've seen without them out. Probably because of the whole attacking them thing. No one likes being attacked.
"Not me," Bryce says. "I'm not enrolled in this course."
Emma narrows her eyes at him. "Then why are you here?"
Oh, Bryce, what have you done? He isn't supposed to tell people he's not a student. I cross my fingers and hope he can come up with a lie fast enough. Maybe he can pretend he's merely trying out different courses before committing?
He chuckles. "You really think they'd send a human here without giving her protection."
I want to shake him. How is that better? Everyone in the room knows I'm human. I've no doubt they can hear the blood pulsing through my veins. They don't need reminding. That'll only lead to questions about why I'm here in the first place.
I force a nervous giggle out of me, glad I spent so many years perfecting my helpless act while working for the guild. "They were so shocked when I passed the exams, it took them awhile to find someone coming to Grimalkin anyway next year to act as a bodyguard. Bryce is trying out the courses while he's focused on me, but won't be enrolled until next year. Isn't that right?"
I resist the urge to elbow him until he agrees with my lie.
"Yes, that's what I meant."
"Hmm." Emma leans back in her chair, clearly not believing a word we're saying.
I take a deep breath, trying to calm the rushing of my heart or everyone will be paying attention to me.
Bryce scrapes back his chair. "I'm going to check the surroundings."
I want to tell him no, but there isn't a way of doing that which doesn't reveal our lies. Instead, I nod.
"I'll be back in five."
"What are we going to do for this project?" I ask, looking at Bryce's tablet screen and trying to work out exactly what we're supposed to do.
"We need to design a business plan that caters to both vampires and humans," Emma says.
"That's a bit advanced for first years," I mutter.
"Most of us have been here for months," Emma points out.
"Sorry, I'll catch up."
She shrugs. "It doesn't matter. We'll make it work. Will your boyfriend help?"
"He's not my boyfriend," I counter.
"But you want him to be?" A smirk lifts her lips.
I shake my head. "We're fundamentally incompatible." He may have softened towards me, but he'll never go for an ex-hunter. It's going to be a constant thing between us that we can never change.
"Because you're human and he's a vampire?" she asks. "You realise you can change that easily enough."
I chuckle. "Not likely, I've heard there's a ban on new vampires."
"And you think people listen to that stupid rule? Vampires are turning humans all the time. All you have to do is claim it was an accident, or that you found them, and there's nothing the den heads can do about it. They simply tell the new vampire the rules, then leave them on their way."
"Hmm." Somehow I doubt that would be the case for me, especially after I asked to be a vampire. That will only have served to convince them I never should be. "Trust me, that's not the reason."
"Oh, I see. Girls aren't his thing." Emma dismisses the thought with a hand. "He'll grow out of that."
"I don't think that's how being gay works," I point out.
"True. But most vampires stop seeing things the same way after a hundred years or so. Then he'll be more focused on the person, not the gender."
All right then. Most vampires are pansexual. I guess that makes sense, even if it doesn't affect anything for me.
"That's not it," I say instead of voicing any of my other thoughts.
"Now, I'm intrigued."
Ah, damn it. That's backfired. How am I going to convince her to move the conversation on? After a moment, it dawns on me. If she's this interested in my love life, then perhaps she wants to talk about her own.
"What about you?" I ask. "Are you seeing anyone?"
She sighs dramatically. "I wish. I was engaged up until earlier this year."
Engaged? Is that common in vampires her age? I'll ask Bryce later, it seems like something he'll know. "What happened?"
"He met a witch in one of the elected classes any year can take, fell head over heels in love with her."
"A witch?"
"Yes, you know they go here, right?"
"Yes."
"It surprises me they didn't send you to that part of the academy," she muses.
Wow, she either really wants to avoid working on our project, or she simply loves to talk. I don't want to take a guess on which of those it is.
"I can't do magic," I point out.
"Oh right, of course. Silly me." She laughs lightly. "You don't want to be up there anyway."
"Up?"
She leans forward, inquisition in her eyes. "You don't know anything about the academy, do you?"
I shake my head. "I've led a sheltered life." Not technically a lie. I don't think it's possible to get much more sheltered than the guild in terms of how the real world works. The only thing they're good for is learning how to kill vampires.
"That explains it. But we're under the witch academy. To keep out the sun."
I nod. That makes sense. A lot of vampires live underground, it should have crossed my mind that an academy full of them would be there too.
"Why wouldn't I want to go up to the witch part?" I ask.
Emma leans forward conspiratorially. "Witch can be spelt with a b as well as a w." She winks.
I chuckle, but dismiss what she's saying. I'm sure witches are just like everyone else. Some of them are bad, some are good. I've had enough of people telling me what to think about a whole species to last me a lifetime and more.
"We should focus on our project," I suggest as Bryce slips back into his seat. That's definitely been more than five minutes, and I'm going to ask him about that later. Perhaps he's trying to avoid Emma. I'm not sure I blame him. I don't know if I like her or not. She seems nice, if a bit judgemental.
"We should, you're right. So...what kind of business do you think would be best? You're a human, that gives us a great advantage."
"I doubt it," Bryce mutters under his breath. I'm sure it's too quiet for Emma to hear, especially as she's now humming to herself.
I try not to laugh. He's right. I'm not much use. I haven't spent any time around coffee shops or department stores.
"What do you feel like you're missing, as a vampire?" I ask the other girl.
"Hmm. That's a good question. You know, there's this great place in town that makes coffees, it opens late for vampires."
"So something like that?" I ask.
She nods. "I think it's our best bet." She jots down a note on her tablet. "What's your email address? I can add you to the file and then we can work on it outside class too." She pushes the tablet in my direction.
I glance at Bryce, checking that putting it in is the right thing to do, not that I'm banned from technology. Ashryn and her den have provided me with everything I need to study here, including a tablet and a laptop. There's nothing I can do with them to counter the peace between vampires and hunters anyway. Most of the hunters are so ingrained in real life for the first time, I doubt they'd even notice.
Bryce nods once.
I type out my email and hit enter, before smiling at Emma. Working with her is going to be good. Normal, even. It's my chance to further my own integration and return to normality. At least, that's my hope and the whole point of me being at the academy in the first place.
Chapter Eleven
Bryce sets a mug down and sits across the table from me. He pushes the mug in my direction.
I set down my pen and smile. "What's this for?" And how am I going to end up paying for it later?
"Call it a peace offering."
"I wasn't aware you'd done anything. But thanks." I blow across the top of the tea. By the look of it, he's made it just the way I like it. Strong, with a dash of milk.
"Nothing specific," he admits. "But I was a bit of a..."
"All is forgiven." I wave him away, unsure where this part of me is coming from. Luckily, or perhaps not, Bryce seems as confused as I am by my behaviour.
"That doesn't seem like a very you behaviour."
I shrug. "I spent a long time hating everyone and everything. At some point, while I was locked in a room back at the den, I realised I didn't want that anymore. I never really did in the first place."
"Being locked in a room does that to you," he muses as his hands close around his mug. I don't need to ask what he's drinking. He only ever uses the mug with a cartoon vampire on when he's drinking blood.
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