by Mary Griggs
"As long as I don't have to take care of them. I hate milking anything."
"Don't worry, Jay. We'll do the hard stuff."
"So, what are our choices?" asked Piper.
"Chickens, pigs, goats…" Martha ticked them off on her fingers. "Any suggestions?"
"Didn't we discuss this before?" She sighed. "You should probably start easy with chickens and work your way up the food chain. You've got to remember that what ever we raise, we have to feed, too."
Jay turned the stirring over to Cody. "Consider what kind of roost or living arrangement you want to set up and we can bring down a couple of more trees. We could build what we needed after winter and then go down to the city at the next Trade festival and see what we can find."
"Cool," the three teenagers enthused.
"Yeah, you say that now," she grumbled.
"Jay, don't be such a stick in the mud." Susan said as she began to set up the kitchen for fixing dinner. "We already agreed that we'd take care of the extra work. Now, I need someone to go and get me some lemons."
Eva and Carol got the task and they left Cody to watch over the pot of curdling milk. He was looking rather queasy from the smell by the time the mixture was ready for cooling.
The group gathered for dinner on the patio. Piper and Martha had made a long table and two benches from one of the trees they had brought down. Now, there was room for everyone and all the food around the table.
The cedar plank with the fish took the center place. There was a large bowl of rice and steamed carrots. For a change of pace, Jay had made cornbread. Conversation flowed with the light, white wine and mint tea.
Frankie shared the stories of the other families on his route around the valley. It was good to hear that there were others who had been able to carve out a living out of the post apocalypse world.
The group also learned that there was a plan afoot to create a school for all the children in the several square miles that make up their area. While the kids were not too happy with the news, Susan was especially pleased. She wanted her remaining daughter and son to grow up with some semblance of normalcy.
"I think it's a great idea. You'll be able to interact with people your own age."
"We're doing fine. The three of us are plenty."
"But you need more than what we can give you." Susan looked meaningfully at Martha. When her partner did not respond, she kicked her."
Grimacing, Martha agreed. "There is also stuff you need to learn that we can't teach you."
"Like what?" Cody challenged. "I bet you guys know everything."
"Flattering but no." Piper laid her hands flat on the table. "If we are to rebuild the world, we can't afford to lose any knowledge. There are many subjects I'm not familiar with. Biology, genetics, physics. Frankly, most of the sciences are beyond me. So many revolutionary discoveries have happened to increase our knowledge of the world we live within. To lose that knowledge would be a greatest loss the planet could endure."
Susan squeezed Piper's hand. "I have to agree. I reiterate that we should each write down what we can offer." She looked at Frankie. "Would you be willing to take the list with you and give it to those organizing the school?"
"Not a problem. I'm glad to see that you are taking an interest outside your clan." He pointed at Jay. "I know you and Harmony did a lot for the others. I'm pleased that those you've vouched for are like you."
"God forbid they be too much like me."
"Yes," he laughed. "That would be a problem only a god could solve." He pushed back his plate. "That was a delicious meal. Thank you."
"You're welcome," Susan answered.
Martha asked, "What are you doing next?"
"Well, I'm going to finish this mountain. I'll be seeing your neighbors next and should be ready to head back home very soon."
"Where do you live," Eva asked.
"Just across the valley. From your mountain top, you can sometimes see the evening campfires." He looked around at the cohesive unit and grimaced ruefully. "Seeing all your smiling faces lets me know that it is past time for me to see my wife again."
"Why doesn't she travel with you?"
"Because she and the rest of my clan work have to get ready for winter." He waved his hand around the grounds. "Firewood to be cut, food to set up for winter, everything that you've been doing."
"But aren't you lonely?"
"Not with my goats."
Jay laughed. "That's way more information that I wanted to know about you."
"Get you mind out of the garden. Those wee beasties are my friends."
"Friends?"
"Yeah. They've got personalities."
"But they can't be good conversationalists."
"Well, maybe not. However, they lack the capacity to lie and on that note alone I'd rather have them then most of the folks I've ever met."
Piper raised her glass. "Hear, hear."
"Present company excluded, of course."
Jay inclined her head in acknowledgement. "I'm sure that we take no offense. Now, did you want to clean up before heading to bed?"
Piper nodded enthusiastically. She knew that she would be sharing the living room that evening.
Laughing, Frankie agreed. "I'd be a fool not to take advantage of the hot water I know you have."
That night, he unrolled his sleeping bag in the living room to sleep inside for the first time in a week. He usually preferred to sleep outside with his goats. He trusted Jay's dogs enough to watch over the small herd.
His sleep left him in a good mood. Jay noticed and led the negotiation for one of the elder goats that was too old to make the trek back across the valley or through another winter. Parting with several quarts of honey, some dried fish and some of the nails that Josh had given them, they received in return a change to their diet.
He packed everything carefully in his cart and harnessed two of the goats to pull. He rang his bell to signal the herd that it was time to move along. "You need to tie that one up or Sammy will find a way to follow." He dashed a tear from his eye. He hated when it was time to part with any member of his herd but the barter was too good to pass up.
Cody tied their new goat to one of the trees. The old male bleated plaintive for several hours after all of his fellows left him behind. They endured two days of this before Piper announced that it was time to silence it forever.
The teenagers and Susan were in tears at the thought of butchering the animal.
"I told you all not to make a pet of it."
"But he's so cute." Carol batted her eyes at her stepmother. "Please, can't we keep him?"
"No. We got him for food and food it what he'll be." Piper was adamant.
Jay glanced at Martha. "Look, raised voices and tempers aren't going to solve anything. It's past time we went foraging for mushrooms. How about we make a trek up the mountain today and things might look better afterwards." She winked at Piper.
Swiping a finger across her nose, Piper agreed. "Why don't you all go? I've got some clothes to repair and I could use the break."
"If you're sure you'll be fine here alone?" Martha smiled and grabbed up a couple of wicker baskets. "That's settled then. Shall we take off?"
"Don't we need to pack a snack or anything?" asked Susan.
"We just need a distraction. We won't be out that long." Saying this, Jay and Martha led the small group up the path to the best fungus foraging area.
The distraction was not the solution that she had anticipated. The returning fungus hunters all screamed when they returned to see the corpse hanging from a tree. Stripped of its hide, it hung in an inverted Y from its hind legs.
Piper raised her arms in confusion in the face of the hysteria. "What? What did I do wrong?"
No one would speak to her as they walked past her into the house.
Martha clapped her sympathetically on the shoulder. "Sorry, buddy."
"You knew this was going to happen?"
"I was afraid that whoever did the deed wou
ld be in the dog house. I'm sorry I was right but I'm not sorry that it's not me getting the silent treatment."
"Great." Piper crossed her arms. "So, what do I do now?"
"Nothing. Just wait it out."
Jay agreed. "Yeah. They'll grow of it eventually."
"This is perfect. I'm destined to be the group pariah."
"Probably only until we roast that baby and serve him. Satisfied stomachs will go a long way toward forgiveness." Martha grinned at Jay and walked into the house with her, leaving Piper to sulk alone in the yard with her kill.
Chapter Twenty One - Follow On
Down in the valley with my Savior I would go,
Where the storms are sweeping and the dark waters flow;
With His hand to lead me I will never, never fear,
Danger cannot fright me if my Lord is near.
Words: William O. Cushing, 1878. Music: Robert Lowry, 1880
Almost two weeks from the day he left, Josh returned. Eva kept looking down the driveway to see if her mother had changed her mind and returned. When he gave her a small box, she burst into tears.
The rest of the group gathered around the cartload of supplies and helped to unload. Near the bottom, was a large envelope for Jay. While the rest of the household acted like children on Christmas morning, Jay walked away to open her mail in private.
She turned the brown paper wrapped package with her name and Trinity Mountain written on it over in her hands. Almost reluctantly, she opened it to find a notebook and two letters. She recognized the handwriting immediately. With her heart in her mouth, she walked to the small pond's dock and started to read. Just seeing the handwriting, made her feel faint. Sitting in a patch of sunlight, she read what Harmony had written:
Sweetheart,
You won't believe it but I made it. The trip was even worse than we'd feared. It took me forever to get down here-the Bay Area is bad but the whole area from San Jose to Santa Barbara is a wasteland. They've never recovered from the fires. I had a bit of trouble when I passed through Bakersfield but it turned out for the best-some guys who came to my aid told me about a whole bunch of UCLA folk that have set up a campus in Ventura. They've basically taken over the city and it's the first place I've been that has any real community feeling. It is a brave new world-sort of a mix of Plato's Republic and Walden 2. Take heart, my darling, the commune is alive and well in southern Cali. When I get back, I'd like to discuss starting our own.
I've been here a month and finally found friends that knew Tim. Last they knew he was heading south to San Diego to try to cross over to Mexico. Rumors are rife down here that Mexico is reopening the border for Californians. I'm going to follow this trail. I know I've been gone a while now but I'm so close. I can't stop now.
I see you in my dreams and can't wait until I can hold you again in my arms.
Your loving wife,
Harmony
Jay finished reading the letter and held it to her nose. She couldn't smell anything on it and she set it down and removed the second letter from the package. Carefully folding the letter from Harmony, she turned her attention to the other and read:
Jay,
You don't know me and I don't know what to say. I found this letter and diary in Harmony's stuff. She left it here when she went on to find Tim. I've giving it to a friend who's heading for Canada. I hope it reaches you.
I heard from a reliable source that she never made it through Los Angeles. We told her about the gangs but this is a bad time to try and make it the long way round. With no rain since January, there isn't any water. She didn't suffer, if that's what you're thinking. She went in a convoy that was hit by the Bloods. A stinger took out the bus near Compton. There were no survivors.
She spoke of you often and of how much she missed the mountain. I'm sending you the notebook; it seems to have been written for you. I hope you don't mind but I'm leaving the rest of her stuff in case Tim ever comes back. I figure her brother should inherit something.
Mark
Her eyes burned as she finished. Gripping the notebook so tightly that her fingers ached, she tried to remember how to breathe. In a despair so deep she could hardly see, Jay stumbled back to the house.
She made her way to the spiral staircase without running into anything. Suddenly dizzy, she gripped the railing tightly with both hands and doubled over.
"You okay?"
Turning towards Piper's voice, her eyes passed unseeing over the other woman. Unable to speak, she hung on, just staring blankly.
Piper and Eva looked at her and at one another. "Any ideas?" she asked the teenager. At the full body shrug, Piper got to her feet and moved closer to Jay. "What's happening?"
Standing like a statue, Jay did not react even when Piper took a hold of her upper arm.
"What's wrong?" Piper asked. The bicep under her fingers was literally thrumming with tension. "Can you answer me? You're starting to scare us."
Jay started to shiver. She looked around, seemingly unable to recognize anything. When Piper waved a hand in front of her face, she flinched away.
"Okay, this is not good." Glancing at Eva, she asked, "Should I leave her alone or what?"
"Maybe she needs to rest?"
"I'll try." She took a hold of Jay's arm. "Why don't you lie down for a bit?" Piper asked as she pulls her toward the couches. She hardly had time to react when Jay dropped bonelessly at her feet. "Fuck me," she exclaimed.
Bending down, she was able to slide her arms under Jay's knees and neck. Piper lifted her up and carried her into the first bedroom. Laying her on the bed, Piper unbuckled her pants and unbuttoned her shirt. Attempting to pull the shirt off, she was stopped by the grip that Jay still had on the package.
She saw that the wrapping had Jay's name and the notation to deliver it to the mountain. Unable to take it away from her, she gave up and pulled a blanket over the still form. On impulse, she leaned over and touched her lips to Jay's cool forehead. Not feeling any sign of fever, she was still concerned but a little less panicked. Deciding there was nothing else for her to do, she rejoined Eva in the living room.
Eva tried to glance over her shoulder into the room. "What do you suppose happened to her?"
"I don't know. There isn't a mark on her, just a book that she didn't have before Josh came back."
Coming in noisily from their picnic, Susan and Martha were shushed by everyone. "What's wrong?"
"Jay's having a meltdown."
"What do you mean?"
"She freaked us out."
"Where is she now?"
"She's in your bedroom."
"How long has she been in there?"
"Not long ago. Did anyone see what he gave her?"
"Just a package. It looked harmless."
"Okay. We'll just see how she is when she wakes up."
"That's it? That's all you're going to do?"
"I don't know what is wrong. I don't know what else to do."
Jay was sitting up when Piper and Martha stepped inside the bedroom. She had been starring down at the notebook in her hands but looked up when Piper spoke.
"You're going to get dehydrated." At Jay's confused look, she pointed at her face. "The waterworks."
"Huh?"
"Do you even know that you're crying?"
Jay reached up and touched her cheeks. She glanced down at the wetness on her fingertips before she furiously scrubbed her face with the heels of her hands.
"Anything you want to talk about?" asked Piper. She wasn't expecting the deeply searching gaze that was turned on her. She met Jay's eyes guilelessly. "Tell me."
Instead of answering, Jay handed her two sheets of paper. After Piper took them, she started turning the notebook around in her lap.
Piper read both letters twice before handing them to Martha. When she looked up, Jay was unknowingly crying again. "Jesus, Jay. I'm so sorry."
The bowed head nodded. Jay's knuckles whitened as she gripped the book.
"What's that?"
"Oh." Piper touched Jay's knee. "Have you read it?"
"I can't." Holding the book to her chest, Jay started rocking. "I just can't."
"It's okay. Don't worry about that now." Martha stepped out of the room to fetch Susan. She hoped that her partner might have a suggestion on how to deal with the emotional maelstrom that Jay was feeling.
Susan sat with Jay for a while before her presence was noticed.
Jay asked, "What happened to Cheryl?"