by Sue Seabury
“Or‘Yodel-looo-looooo’,” Queenie added. “Whichever floats your boat, or mounts your big, hunkin’ stallion, right, Juan?” She let out a signature cackle as she tweaked Juan’s rear end. He seemed to enjoy it.
Josie looked at Kat.
“I swear, she’s great.” Kat said to Josie, then waved to Queenie.
Ramsey came strolling down the path with Pete marching importantly behind. Josie pinched Kat and made hand signals at Ramsey’s shapely rear end while he spoke with Juan in Spanish.
Pete was clearly torn between being included in the conversation, and coming over to speak with Kat. She acknowledged him with a polite nod. She refused to throw herself at him. To prove it, she looked away, out at the water, and then up the path. Empty of people. She could see why Hugo wouldn’t want to come down, but it would have been nice if he had.
“I hope you don’t think me presumptuous, but allow me to introduce myself. Pete Pennypacker of Philly, PA.” Pete gave Josie’s hand a vigorous pump. “So, Cathy, are all your friends as pretty as you?”
She blinked. “Ha. Pete’s a jokester,” she said to Josie. She turned to him. “Actually, all my friends are prettier. But you’ve got the cream of the crop right in front of you.”
“Can’t ask for more than that,” Pete said to Kat, but his eyes kept darting to Josie.
Jealousy flared through Kat’s middle. Humbling, after she’d just incited the same reaction from Coraly.
Josie was too busy ogling Ramsey to notice.
Ramsey clapped his hands. “I have a question. Would anyone be willing to share so that Pete can join you?”
“I already told my pal Juan here that we’re sharing.” Queenie wrapped an Amazon arm around Juan’s neck and shook him. His teeth rattled.
“That’s real generous of you,” Ramsey said. “But Juan’s the only dude whose gotta go solo.”
Of course the PTAs weren’t interested in sharing. That wouldn’t allow them to trot competitively.
Pete glanced shyly at Kat. “Would you care to share a saddle?”
Josie turned suddenly. “Love to!”
Pete turned hot pink.
Kat couldn’t have been more astonished if a horse had proposed the idea. From Rude Roots Sloane, she would have expected it, but from her best friend?
Except, Josie didn’t know Kat had any interest in Pete. She herself didn’t know if she did. She wouldn’t compete.
“You don’t mind, do you?” Josie said to her.
“Of course not. Probably smarter than us two noobies sharing.” Kat waited in case Josie wanted to contradict her, and possibly even sing, “Schlemiel, Schlimazel, Hasenpfeffer Incorporated!” the way they used to, pretending to be Laverne and Shirley, makin’ their dreams come true.
Josie just looked at Pete from under lowered lashes. Kat told herself a silly horseback ride was no big deal.
“That’s very generous of you to offer, Pete,” Kat said. “Pete’s quite the expert at a lot of things.”
Pete’s chest puffed. He asked Josie, “Have you ever been on a horse before? Because they take some getting used to.”
“Nope,” Josie answered. “You can show me the ropes, or the reins.”
“Hey, what do you think the hardest thing about learning to ride a horse is?” Pete gave the punchline without waiting. “The ground!”
Josie wrinkled her nose.
Kat said, “I’ll take your word for it, and I hope not to find out first hand.”
“Great.” Ramsey gave them a double thumbs-up. “I knew it’d work out.”
“Can we pick our horses?” Paige said in a loud, annoyed voice.
“Sure, sure,” Juan said.
The PTAs claimed their horses while Pete gave Josie a wordy explanation on how to tell a good horse from a bad one. “Hey, is this horse named Flattery? ’Cause I’m hoping it’ll get me somewhere!”
It took Josie a second to get it, but then she beamed, which only made Pete’s grin that much broader. Kat’s smile was shaky. Being replaced so quickly hurt.
She was left with the rather droopy animal at the end. That was okay. A calm, gentle horse without “spirit” was just fine by her.
While she waited her turn to be helped aboard, she patted her horse’s nose. “Hello, we’re going to be great friends, right? Slow and steady.”
The horse snorted.
Juan gave them instructions on how to use the reins. Kat told herself to pay attention, but Josie and Pete’s whispering was distracting. This was supposed to be a trip for her and Josie to reconnect. And if that wasn’t going to happen, it didn’t seem fair Josie nabbed her admirer straightaway. Josie’s alimony was quite generous.
Okay, that was aterrible reason to want be with someone. She’d done the right thing by letting Josie have Pete for the ride. She would use the time to clear her head and refocus on her real goals, which were to get the most out of her vacation.
Juan was working his way down the line. Kat’s heart sped up. Another thing to add to — or cross off — her list. If this vacation wasn’t going to be a girls’ getaway, at least she was doing well with the new experiences and exercise.
Pete helped Josie up, then suffered the humiliation of not being able to climb aboard without help. Ramsey lent him a pair of hands. Kat waited. She knew better than to try without assistance.
“Miss?” Juan indicated that she should step on his interlaced hands.
“Thank you.” Only when she was already on the horse’s back did she see Hugo. He stayed at the upper end of the line. Kat sighed and looked out at the water. Would he have helped her if he’d arrived in time?
The PTAs trotted up and down the beach and Pete and Josie did something similar, although they seemed less in control. Queenie hung back with Kat.
“What’s up with that?” Queenie nodded at the pair.
Kat shrugged.
“She needs a revenge boink,” Queenie continued. “Desperately. I can smell it.”
Kat nodded. It was a decent pep talk, and probably correct. She couldn’t blame Josie for wanting to get some revenge on her ex, but why did it have to be with Pete?
“So, was the ex bonking the neighbor or the secretary?” Queenie fixed Kat with a sharp eye.
Kat laughed. “Secretary for hers.My ex’s bonking the neighbor.”
Queenie sucked her teeth. “They’re all the same, I swear.”
“What about you?”
Queenie snorted. “I never got roped into that crap.” She fluffed her hair.
Nearby, Josie giggled. Pete’s goofy blast of a laugh joined hers. Kat needed to get away from them. She flapped her reins to make her horse go faster. The beast ignored her.
“Don’t take it personally,” Queenie said. “She’s just making up for lost time.”
And Kat? How much “lost time” did she need to make up? At least Josie had been in love with Brandt once upon a time.
“Anyway, you got me.” Queenie showed her teeth.
Kat smiled back. “What do you think about horseback riding?”
“’Bout as exciting as sitting in traffic on the 405. You wanna kick this thing into a higher gear? I’ll give ya a hand.” With that, Queenie slapped the rump of Kat’s horse and screeched, “Hi-ya!”
Kat’s horse wasn’t tame or worn out. It bolted. She bounced around on the seat and gripped the reins like her life depended on it. It may very well have.
Queenie caught up to her whooping and hollering like a cowgirl in a rodeo, but Kat didn’t have any brain space to devote to Queenie’s act at the moment. She was too busy not dying.
Rocks ahead, big ones. She lay flat against the horse’s neck and screamed, “Stop!”
Nothing. She pulled the reins, but the horse kept up its breakneck pace. Was it really stupid enough to run straight into them? Kat’s eyes shut and wouldn’t reopen.
The horse slowed. She could feel something pulling on the horse’s head. They stopped. Kat opened one eye. Queenie held the reins near the animal�
�s head.
“Had a cameo in a western calledWily Wild Girls. Ever see it?”
Kat shook her head and was reassured to discover it was still attached.
“Sorry. Didn’t think the ol’ boy had that much pep left in him.” Queenie looked genuinely repentant. “But, hey, I bet you’re feeling really glad to be alive right now. Am I right?”
A distressed Juan came thundering up. “Everybody okay?”
Queenie trotted her horse over to his and gave Juan a slap on the rear. “Kat's bueno. You?”
A laugh escaped from Juan's distressed mouth. “You really good.”
“I’m better’nbueno, baby,” Queenie said. “I’mda bomb.”
Kat dismounted without waiting for help. Her legs were quaking and she was having trouble getting air into her lungs. She leaned against the horse. Not because she trusted him, but because he was the only thing tall enough to keep her from hitting the ground.
“You still have a half-hour." Juan’s forehead was creased with concern. "I ride next to you, whole time.”
“Thanks but no thanks. I need a drink.” Kat handed him the reins. She’d never been so glad to be done with an activity in her life.
“Cowgirlin's thirsty work,” Queenie said, but despite her proclamation, she hung around to flirt with Juan.
Kat didn’t wait. Rubber band-y legs and lack of oxygen didn’t prevent her from hustling straight to the bar.
Ramsey was manning it, thank goodness. The last thing she wanted was for Hugo to find out about this latest near-death experience.
“Something big and strong,” Kat said.
“Hugo’s out back.” Ramsey winked at her as he reached for the blender. Not even a run-in with the police put a dent in this guy’s good mood.
At the mention of Hugo, Kat’s heart ramped back up to a gallop. She grabbed the glass out of Ramsey’s hand and gulped at it. It was disgusting; too sweet and way too much rum.
“Good?” he asked.
“Perfect.” She took another slug.
Kat was well on her way to being soused by the time Queenie showed up.
When Ramsey poured one for Queenie, Kat indicated she wanted a refill.
“Bottoms up!” Kat clinked glasses with Queenie, almost knocking hers over.
“That bad, huh?” Queenie said when Ramsey went into the back to fetch more oranges. “Sorry. Let me make it up to you.” Which to Queenie meant drinking fast so they were equally drunk. And telling risque stories about her role inWily Wild Girls. “He wasn’t so hot to trot after I strung up his wiener with this mini lasso I had my friend make for me.”
Kat was laughing so hard, she had to stop drinking. “You’re making this up.”
Queenie scrolled on her phone. “Got a pic right here.”
Before she found it, Josie and Pete appeared, giggling and standing too close together. Kat was too drunk to feel anything but happy for them.
“Already got the party started, huh?” Josie took a sip from Kat’s glass.
Kat reached across the bar and nabbed the half-full blender. “Let’s keep it rolling.” She poured and they moved to a table to have more room.
Josie was chirpy and Pete couldn’t have been happier to hold court in such a harem.
Kat ran her straw around the bottom of her glass. “Ramsey sure is taking his time with those oranges.”
“Yeah, something green might’ve slowed him down.” Queenie pinched her fingers to her lips.
Kat’s stomach lurched. Should she tell Hugo?
“Barkeep!” Queenie hollered. “We need refreshments!”
A sweat-streaked Hugo appeared, reddish-brown powder coating his arms to the elbows. Kat shut her eyes to not stare at the way the dark rivulets outlined his muscles.
“Where’s Ramsey?” he said.
“Went to get some oranges. Guess he’s picking ’em by hand.” Queenie pinched her fingers to her lips, then seemed to think better of it and pretended to pluck imaginary fruit from the air.
Hugo’s mouth set in a thin line. He wiped his hands on a towel. “I apologize. Give me a minute.”
A moment after Hugo disappeared behind the building, screeching came from the beach path. The laughter at the table died as everyone turned.
Ramsey was escorting Sloane who was pale under her spray tan.
“Almost there,” Ramsey cooed. “I’ll getcha a drink, and everything’ll be all right.”
“No it won’t. That animal is dangerous. It needs to be put down. I’ll go to the authorities myself—”
“Don’t get yourself all worked up. Look, have a seat with your friends here.”
“They aren’t my friends.” She mumbled it, but Kat heard.
Ramsey deposited Sloane next to Kat and picked up the empty blender. “Whoops. Looks like I got work to do!” He skipped off.
Silence reigned at the table. The rest of them must have heard Sloane as well.
“What happened?” Pete narrowed his eyes like a TV police investigator.
“Thatbeast threw me.”
Queenie slurped at her empty glass. “Ramsey set you down nice and gentle. I saw him. We all did.”
Kat hid the snort behind a cough.
“Not — ugh. Thatanimal needs to be put down.”
“Juan was a perfect gentleman to me. You just gotta know how to handle ’em.” Queenie made an obscene gesture, then laughed loudly. Josie and Pete tittered, Kat hid the smirk behind a fist and patted Sloane’s French manicured hand, but the puss on her face stayed put.
“Where are your friends?” Kat asked.
“Probably down getting murdered by their beasts.”
Kat was glad to see Hugo return, until Sloane pounced on him.
“I’ll have you know, those animals you hired for us are dangerous. Mine almost killed me.”
Hugo’s face couldn’t have been more alarmed if he’d been wearing a bell. His first reaction was to look at Kat, which would have thrilled her if the situation hadn’t been so dreadful.
“We cool,” Ramsey called from behind the bar. “I’m mixin’ up some magic, and everybody’s gonna be laughing in a coupla minutes.”
Kat wondered if he was slipping a little drug-type ‘magic’ into the blender. She almost didn’t care if he did, if it would calm this awful woman down.
Hugo folded his hands together. “Please tell me exactly what happened.”
Sloane inhaled as if winding up to let Hugo experience his own personal hurricane when a loud“Hola! Hugo!” sounded from the beach path. Juan.
He jogged up and spoke to Hugo in Spanish. Ramsey stopped blending and made up a humungous coconut with so many flowers and umbrellas sticking out of the top, it was hard to see the straw.
“Ihate these stupid coconuts,” Sloane whined. “They’re impossible to hold.”
Ramsey poured her drink into a glass before she finished complaining. He started to move some of the decorations over, but she shooed him away with her hand and stalked off to sit at a table by herself.
“Where is everyone?” she groused.
Juan turned. “They come, Miss.”
Indeed, the PTAs were headed up the path, chatting and laughing.
Sloane unleashed her fury on Hugo and Juan. “I’m not the only one. Hers almost killed her too.”
She pointed at Kat, who turned and looked behind her as if Sloane might have meant someone else.
“I’ll sue,” she said. “We both should.”
Juan bowed his head while Hugo twisted the towel and stared at her. Kat kept her eyes glued to her orange-colored beverage.
“Whoa! Then I’m gonna sueyou for being too beautiful to look at,” Ramsey said. “My eyes! I can’t take it!” He pulled Sloane into an impromptu merengue.
Her drink slopped over the edge of the glass and dripped down her hand.
“Oops,” Ramsey said, reaching for the cocktail napkins on the counter.
“Sloane, why didn’t you wait for us?” Paige called. “Hey, I want dance lesson
s!”
Sloane slammed her drink down on the counter. “You can have them.” Still clutching the napkins, she ran off the patio.
“What’s her problem?” Paige said, snagging the drink and Ramsey’s arm.
“The horse jangled her nerves a little, that’s all,” Kat said.
“She’ssuch a drama queen.” Paige screeched, then laughed as Ramsey flicked on a radio and led her through some jokey dance moves, interspersed with some laughs. The mood on the patio lightened considerably.
Except over in Hugo’s corner. There, the air remained tense. Kat strained to hear, but the words were Spanish. She gave up trying and took a large swig of her drink.
Eventually, Juan left. Hugo went behind the bar as Ramsey’s talents were required on the dance floor. Josie was “cutting tile” with Pete while Queenie showed off her moves from her role as a cabaret dancer. Kat picked up some empty glasses and went to the bar.
“Please. You are a guest,” Hugo said, taking them from her.
“I just wanted to say, I’m sure she won’t sue.”
Hugo’s head was down. He looked at her from under his brows. “And you?”
“Me? No, never. What for?”
“The horse galloping wildly.”
“That isn’t your fault, or Juan’s. Um, a crab scuttled out and spooked the horse. Or maybe it pinched his foot.” Kat kept her eyes carefully averted from Queenie’s. “Stuff happens.”
Hugo traced circles on the counter with his ever-present cloth. “Stuff like lawsuits happen too.”
“Oh, Hugo. Don’t worry. She’s embarrassed, that’s all. I’m sure she’ll calm down and forget about it.”
“I would like to have your optimism.”
“It’ll be fine. I’ll talk to her. I’ll figure out a way to make her see how silly the idea is.”
“Would you?” His eyes filled with hope.
“Yes.”
He reached over and took her hand. “Thank you.”
Kat could have let their fingers stay entwined forever, but dancing was thirsty work and Hugo’s hands were needed to work the blender. She went back to her table and picked a seat with a good view of the bar. She caught him looking her way often, and each time made her stomach flutter. They were back to being friends. That was good enough.
Josie flung herself into the seat next to Kat; Pete hovered nearby.