Barbarian of Elysia

by Tom Gallier

  “Just call me Alex. We're all friends here, right?”

  The captain tensed, a low growl bubbling up. Alex clamped his mouth shut, but why should he be quiet in his own dream?

  King Talos stood up. Alex really wished he hadn’t. The king was obscenely naked, as in the biggest thing he wore was a golden penis sheath. It was impossibly long and came to a pointed end. More gold decorated his muscular body: bracers on his forearms, bands around his upper arms, and a band around his head. His sun-bronzed skin gleamed like it was oiled.

  “I've seen the Champion of Jarn fight in the arena,” King Talos said. “He certainly looks like him, but those northland barbarians all look alike to me.”

  He stepped down to the next level. Alex averted his gaze, not liking how the king's long penis sheath bounced before his eyes. How distracting. Worse, his big hairy balls were not covered at all.

  I'm not liking how this dream it coming along.

  Movement caught Alex's eyes. One of the many gorgeous young women rose up on her golden couch and looked him over with interest. His breath caught. She had to be the most gorgeous woman he'd ever seen. She looked late teens, early twenties, with a magnificent glossy black mane, intense baby blue eyes, and a body to die for. All she wore was gold and silver jewelry: earrings and nose rings, gold chains draped this way and that across her spectacular body. Her breasts were large, high, and firm, and completely naked. Like the king, her sex was barely covered by a tiny triangle of white silk.

  Their eyes met, and their gaze became intense. He'd never felt anything like it before. She even looked breathless afterwards and bit her lip as she averted her eyes.

  “If you know what's good for you, barbarian, you'll stop staring at my daughter,” King Talos said. He glared at Alex, who dropped his eyes. “Princess Thaleia is not for some ill-bred barbarian to drool over.”

  The women all giggled. Kroisos tensed, hands curling into fists.

  “No offense intended, Your Majesty,” Alex said. “I was just stunned by her beauty and grace, for no such women live in my homeland.”

  Kroisos cut a sharp look at him, but the king didn't seem offended by him speaking. In fact, the compliment seemed to assure the king he wasn't a threat or something.

  “Give him bread and wine,” King Talos said. “Then send him on his way.”

  “But father, perhaps the barbarian can provide a bit of sport,” Princess Thaleia said.

  Alex glanced at her, knowing it was potentially dangerous. Apparently, the royal daddy didn't like the poor boys looking at his million dollar daughter. She was looking him over hungrily, but he wasn't sure if she wanted him in bed or for dinner. There was nothing innocent looking about Princess Thaleia, but that might've been her fashion sense.

  “What did you have in mind?” King Talos asked, but sounded bored as he returned to his golden couch.

  The princess rolled sensuously off of her couch. Alex's breath caught. She was even more magnificent when standing. No fat on that girl. Though he was mesmerized by the jostling of her boobs as she walked towards him, he did notice she wore stiletto heels. Odd, that detail. He'd read a few fantasy books in his childhood, and none of the women in them wore heels. Of course, they'd all dressed a whole lot more conservatively than Princess Thaleia.

  He looked her over from head to toe, and felt a stirring down there. It wouldn't go well if King Daddykins noticed his arousal. And she seemed intent on arousing him.

  “As barbarians go, he's a particularly well-formed man,” she purred, reaching out to caress his cheek. Then she turned and intentionally rubbed her thigh across his face. Alex suppressed a moan of pleasure. Her skin was warm and silky smooth, with fragrant oils rubbed in. “And since Master Fanus failed to show with his entertainers, maybe Alexandros would be so kind as to give us a demonstration of Northland fighting techniques.”

  “A splendid idea, my dear,” King Talos said. “Captain, have someone spar with the barbarian.”

  Alex frowned. No one asked him if he wanted to spar. His dream brain was already working on fighting styles and techniques; despite the fact his rational brain wasn't onboard. It sounded dangerous. Neither Kroisos nor the other guards looked very friendly.

  There would be blood, and he'd probably be blamed.

  What's a dream without some drama? he thought.

  “By your leave, Your Majesty,” Kroisos said, grinning with evil delight. “I will personally spar with the barbarian.”

  “Excellent,” the king replied, nodding with a grin. It wasn't a friendly grin, either.

  Alex glanced at Kroisos, then at Princess Thaleia. The princess gave him a smoldering look that made his skin tingle and his cock ache. Yeah, he had major wood, and they'd all know it when he stood up. So embarrassing.

  I think she knows, he thought.

  Princess Thaleia stood waiting, feet spread and hands on hips. The smirk on her face said so much. Though she might be pleased to see his arousal, Alex was pretty sure King Talos wasn't going to be amused.

  Kroisos stood and pulled his sword. Alex stood, faced him, and spread his hands wide.

  “I don't have a sword,” he said.

  “I disagree, warrior,” Thaleia called. “Unless you are really happy about meeting me.”

  The women all giggled. The men scowled. All Alex could do was sigh and pray someone gave him a sword before Kroisos skewered him. Otherwise, it was going to be a very short dream.

  “Defend yourself, barbarian!” Kroisos growled, moving towards him.

  Chapter 3

  Alex dropped into a defensive stance, open hands wide and all senses alert. The big soldier thrust at him, which was easy enough to avoid. His fighting instincts judged Kroisos was toying with him, having fun.

  “Your Majesty, after the fight is over I suggest you find a real man to lead your guards,” Alex called. He looked Kroisos dead in the eye. “This cur is too craven to face me in a fair fight. He is without honor, and doesn't even have confidence in his own fighting ability.”

  That struck bone. Kroisos turned dark red, eyes blazing. The other soldiers sucked in sharp breaths, and even the king sat up straighter. The princess turned hostile eyes on their champion.

  “Is it your intention to humiliate us, Captain Kroisos?” Thaleia asked.

  Alex's breath caught at the sight of her there. Her back bowed, chin high, naked chest thrust out. He almost forgot Kroisos was trying to kill him.

  Boy, when I dreamed up that hot babe, Alex thought. I did it right for once.

  “Of course not, Princess,” Captain Kroisos said through clenched teeth. He straightened and bowed to her, but then turned murderous eyes back on Alex. “I was just having a little fun with the arrogant barbarian. I was wrong.” He turned to another soldier. “Give the barbarian his blade!”

  “Yes. Fun,” Alex replied, watching him warily.

  The other soldier hurried up to him. Alex's eyes locked on that long blade, named Todesengel, or Angel of Death. He knew who made it. He knew the blade's history, and it was a glorious one, too. It'd been in his family for six generations.

  Alex felt complete as soon as his big hand wrapped around the hilt. That sword wasn't a tool, but an extension of him. He felt empowered. The big blond warrior knew he was in control. Kroisos was no match for his sword skill.

  How do I know all that? And why do I need a different family in my dream?

  The guard captain thrust at his heart, and Alex flicked his wrist and easily parried. He immediately sent the flat of his blade scraping down the length of his foe's sword. He tried to sever the captain's fingers at the knuckles, but Kroisos avoided the attack with a flick of his wrist.

  “Oh my,” Thaleia whispered, fanning herself. “We have a real fight after all.”

  Cutting her a sharp look, Alex wondered what kind of world he dreamed up. Even the women were vicious and blood-thirsty. She watched them raptly, sucking on her lip. Her fingers toyed with her hair, while the other hand softly stroked her own upper t
high.

  Her actions were so distracting. Kroisos almost took Alex's head off.

  Alex parried, forcing the captain's blade to pass overhead, before lashing out with a booted foot to his thick chest. Kroisos grunted and fell back a few steps. The blond barbarian spun around, jumped up on the platform next to Thaleia, and swatted her firm, pretty much naked buttocks with the flat of his blade.

  Thwack!

  “Oh!” she cried, eyes huge.

  “Stop teasing and distracting me with all your sexy gorgeousness,” he said, and barked a laugh as he jumped back down to engage the captain. He blocked a thrust at his throat, grabbed Kroisos' wrist, and gave just enough of a yank to send the captain stumbling away. “A-ha! Are we having fun yet?”

  The princess kicked him in the side. It was just a little kick. No power at all in it.

  “Oh! You! You!” Thaleia cried, delicate little hands balled into fists. “How dare you spank my tush!”

  “A very beautiful tush, I might add,” he taunted and winked at her.

  She froze, their gaze intense. He struggled to pull his eyes away and concentrate on his deadly foe. Kroisos looked even angrier. The other soldiers stirred, looking uncertain. Alex knew there'd be trouble if he defeated their captain. The king probably wouldn't be happy, either. But it was his dream, so what was the worst that could happen?

  Kroisos attacked with a cry of rage. A battle cry was one thing, but Alex could tell he'd pushed the guard captain too far. He would not be satisfied until Alex was dead. For a few seconds, their swords were blurs. The clashing of steel echoed through the royal enclosure. Members of the royal party called out encouragement to Kroisos, but Princess Thaleia remained silent.

  “Ha!” Alex cried, ending the brief exchange by kicking his foe in the chest.

  “Stop cheating!” Kroisos cried.

  “That's the problem with soldiers,” Alex sneered. “You think there's such a thing as a fair fight. In a real fight, anything and everything is used.”

  “We're sparring,” Kroisos growled, a dangerously calculating look in his face. “Not fighting.”

  “Yeah, right, and I'm a pretty, pretty girl,” Alex replied.

  Princess Thaleia snickered. Alex grinned. Kroisos growled and stalked forward.

  “Wait!” he cried, stopping the guard captain in his tracks.

  Alex leapt back atop the wooden dais next to Thaleia, palmed the back of her head, and kissed her. The king cried out in outrage. Kroisos screamed bloody murder. And Thaleia moaned so sensuously, while pushing into that kiss.

  “Thanks, Princess,” he whispered.

  He spun around, bringing his sword across a wooden support pole. The cloth sunscreen above came down on the reclining notables, bringing forth screams of fear and surprise. He laughed, swatted Thaleia's butt with an open hand.

  Wow, so firm, he thought. Out loud, he said, “Nice ass.”

  Alex spun around Thaleia, and then engaged Kroisos. The captain barely blocked his slash, but his backswing sliced the big bastard across his left cheek. Kroisos yelped, jumped back, and tripped. As he went down, the other soldiers charged.

  “Why am I not surprised?” Alex asked. He pulled the princess in close, kissed her again, and wagged his brows. Alex felt like he was starring in an action movie or something. “Gotta go, Princess. It's been fun.”

  “You're a nasty rogue,” she said, though there was adoration in her eyes.

  Thaleia pressed something into his hand. The first of the common soldiers arrived, so he held onto the item as he turned to engage them. Since they were worried about doing anything that might hurt their princess, he had the advantage. Alex didn't really want to hurt anyone, even though it was only a dream. Still, he kicked one in the nuts, punched another with the sword's cross-hilt, and then dropped low and swept away the feet of two more.

  “Wahoo!” he cried, leaping off the dais and charging into three more soldiers. They scattered, leaving him a straight shot at the stone wall. “Time to leave this party!”

  There were ten soldiers guarding the gate out of the enclosure, and four guarding the stairs up to the catwalk atop the fifteen foot high walls. But being a daring rogue in his dream, Alex spotted the barrels stacked against the wall. Stacked just perfectly for his thrilling escape.

  “Stop him!” Kroisos shouted.

  The powerful blond warrior raced up to and leapt atop the first barrel. His right leg propelled him up to the next stack of two barrels, and then he was upon the next stack of three. Alex found himself alone on the catwalk. He turned to see the soldiers all gawking up at him, and Princess Thaleia watching adoringly, delicate hand over her heart.

  He lifted his sword, and then saluted the princess with a flourish. Alex barked a taunting laugh as he vaulted over the wall and out of the enclosure.

  “Help me!” a woman screamed below him as he dropped. “Please help me!”

  Alex landed atop another man. It didn't help much with cushioning the impact with the ground. Still, the other guy got the worst end of the deal.

  The other man cried out as Alex drove him face first into the hard-packed earth. He felt horrible for all of ten seconds, and then he realized he’d interrupted three men attacking a young woman.

  Rolling away and into a defensive stance, Alex quickly assessed the situation. Was it a mugging? Or a kidnapping? The woman was a dark-haired, kohl-eyed beauty in a peach-colored bikini top and matching ankle-length skirt. Numerous tattoos decorated her exposed skin. The three men all looked alike: tall, slim, dark, and only wearing the knee-length pants of the commoners.

  “Street thugs,” he said, making up his mind in a heartbeat. “Die!”

  Alex had no real intention of killing anyone. He thought the fear of death would scatter them. Instead, the two men struggling with the woman charged him. To his surprise, he didn't even think about it. A thrust, followed by a savage slash, left the two men dead at his feet. The third man, the one he landed upon, scrambled away and vanished around the nearest corner.

  Chapter 4

  “You saved my life,” the woman said.

  Alex stared down at the dead men. He’d killed them. It felt so real. Their blood had splattered across his bare chest, and it felt hot. The woman, though, didn't seem fazed by the bloodletting at all. She looked quite happy, in fact.

  “Hey, it's what I do,” Alex said. He cut an uncertain look down at the two corpses, lying in pools of blood. Dream. “I'm a hero.”

  “My hero!” she cried, throwing herself into his arms.

  He wrapped his arms around her tightly, and kissed her full on the lips. Oh, it was nice. Her lips were warm and full. Perfect kissing lips. And her toned young body felt wonderful pressed against his.

  It's good to be the hero.

  Angry shouts reached them from inside the King's enclosure, and then more shouts from the direction the third mugger vanished. She gasped, wiggled free of his hold, and grabbed his free hand.

  “Quickly!” she whispered. “Come with me.”

  Alex wiped his blade on one of the dead men, and then sheathed it before they moved through the crowded, twisting streets. Most of those streets were so narrow he could stretch out his arms and touch both sides. They were also crowded with men, women, and children, as well as goats, cows, and chickens. And lots of dogs.

  Yeah, the air was ripe, to say the least.

  Most of the structures lining the streets were just one or two floors. He couldn't figure out if they were mud brick or stone, because every wall looked plastered over and whitewashed. The street was hard-packed, very dusty dirt.

  The shouting behind them slowly grew closer and closer. The young beauty leading him didn't seem that concerned, so Alex was able to enjoy the adventure. Normally, being chased in a dream was enough to panic him and wake him up. This time, though, he was pretty sure of a happy ending.

  “Are you my bad conduct prize?” he asked.

  “Your what?”

  “Nothing,” he said. “I'm Ale
x. Alex of Jarn.”

  She turned into a dark alley. “I am Helene.”

  “Of Troy?”

  She stopped to peek back out into the street. Then she regarded him expressionlessly a moment, before continuing up the alley.

  “I've never heard of Troy, and I've seen half the world. Where is it?”

  Alex shrugged. “It was a joke. Where are we going?”

  “To my room in the Witches Quarter,” she replied and stopped. “We're here.”

  They stood halfway down the dark alley, behind a two-story structure. There was a walled courtyard in back, into which they entered. Alex noted a recent patch in the courtyard wall, showing it was indeed mud brick. Numerous women were cooking as they passed through, while young children played rather loudly. A few of the little girls called out greetings to Helene, but otherwise no one paid them any heed.

  “Is that your family?” he asked once they entered the structure's dark, cool interior.

  As best he could tell, the two-floor high room was centrally located, with hallways leading off in two directions, top and bottom.

  “No. I'm renting a room here between voyages,” she said, and started climbing up a crudely built ladder. Really, it was just a log with notches cut out for steps. “Come.”

  “Oh, I intend to, my beautiful damsel,” he whispered, wagging his brows as he watched her shapely rump moving under her thin skirt.

  She stopped climbing and looked down at him. Alex smiled as innocently as he could. Rolling her eyes, she continued up. He finally looked at the item Thaleia gave him. It was a finely wrought gold and silver bangle. Probably worth a fortune. Alex grinned. He was getting rich and getting laid. Best dream ever. He then quickly followed Helene up.

  The upstairs was divided down the middle by a dark, narrow corridor. Four curtained doors, two per side, lined it. Helene led him to the front, right room. Inside, he found a small bed of straw and blankets on the floor, and some shelves mostly filled with bright, folded clothes. The only light came from a large open window.

  “Nice place,” he said.

  “Thank you,” she said, pressing up close. Helene rose up on her tiptoes and kissed him. “And thank you for saving my life.”