by Zana Wilder
“Aaron, so lovely to see you again. You're not changing your mind about us are you?” she whispers in my ear while kissing me on both cheeks.
I back away quickly. There's something intoxicating about her, it's not the same feeling as I get from Freya, it's more artificial, but damn similar. It's dangerous. I have to play this carefully. We need her help, but I don't know how fickle vampires can be.
“There is no us Samantha!”
“Call me Sam” she croons at me “And that's no way to ask for help Aaron” she pouts delicately.
Groaning inwardly I plaster a smile on my face “Sam, then. You know I have a mate. I don't understand why you're still helping, but I am grateful. I need, the pack needs, all the help we can get”
She smirks but stays silent so I bash on “Freya has gone after my sister who ran away. She cast some kind of spell hiding her scent, and although we've picked it up again in town... it vanished. We're at a dead end. The Coven are rising and we have no Luna. I have no mate. I need her back.”
“You wouldn't consider say, a substitute?” she grins wickedly at me and I feel my heart rate rising. Shaking my head roughly a low growl escapes me.
“I'll take that as a no. Aaron Varg, you do have a habit of disappointing me! Never mind! If I don't get you, then my help has another price. ” She chews her lip thoughtfully.
Those lips. I groan. “I'll pay whatever the price is Sam. I need her back.”
“Done!” she smiles at me, all trace of seduction vanished. “I'll even throw in your little baby sister to seal the deal”
The speed at which the pact is made is alarming. I wonder if the fluttering eyelashes and strong come on was all a show, playing to my arrogance. What have I done? What exactly have I agreed to? It will have to wait, we'll deal with it together, once I have Freya back.
Sam takes us to The Sanctuary. A place run by vampires that harbours all sorts of fugitives. I'd heard of its existence but like everyone else who's never had need of it, I didn't know where it was. They have some trick, the Vamps, of keeping it hidden unless you need it. Still, I can't believe I've never noticed such a fabulous looking building before.
As we traipse inside I feel my jaw drop. It's one of the most upmarket establishments I've ever been in; it's all smooth lines and glistening surfaces with artistically placed plants and a calming aesthetic.
I catch Sam watching me and she looks pleased at my surprise. I'd always assumed it would be a series of dirty little hovels, full of grim and filth to go with the society that frequented it. Maybe I've got some things wrong about the vampires.
“Rex!” Samantha's voice has a fire to it I've not heard before “Rex, I believe you might be hiding something from me?”
The young man at the desk is already pale, but he looks ghostly hearing Samantha.
“I'm sorry ma'am” he whispers staring steadfastly at the floor “I think they're just coming...”
“No matter, we will go to them” Samantha breezes before her tone turns steely “and I will deal with you later” The guy visibly cowers, and I feel a little sorry for him.
I follow Samantha through the hall. Just as we enter a large, high-ceilinged lounge she stops and pulls me to the side, pointing ahead. My heart hammers loudly in my chest and I nearly break into a run – there's Freya. Sam's hand holds me back.
Stepping around Freya is Marciel de Vaudou. What the fuck is that creep doing here?! Why is he with Freya? I strain my ears to pick up what they're saying, catching bits of it.
“Lovely to see you again baby-doll” Marciel croons. I cringe at the endearment, but at least we come across them just as they've met. Maybe it's entirely an accident. I start forward, but again Sam holds me back.
“What do you want Marciel?” Freya's voice sounds wary “You're obligated like the rest of us not to cause trouble in The Sanctuary”
“I'm just so delighted to meet you again” the creep smirks “I'm so delighted” I can see his eyes raking Freya up and down, and I have to fight down the wrath threatening to boil over inside.
“Oh fuck off Marc” That's my Freya, I grin, but its quickly wiped off my face by Marciel's next words.
“I think we'll be seeing a lot more of each other now, don't you?” Marciel says “I mean, all things considered. I'm part of your life forever Freya, you have to know that”
“What? No. Get a grip Marc. We're done.”
“Oh that's cute Freya; the pretence. Just call me when you're ready baby-doll.”
With that Marciel starts strolling towards us, his eyes lighting up when he realises I've been listening. “Oh this is just perfect! Commiserations old chap” he claps me on the shoulder and Samantha has to physically step between us this time. I very nearly deck her instead.
My anger simmering over, I turn to Freya, and see emerging behind her Lyell and Aurora.
“The three of you – you have NO idea how much trouble you've caused. Home. Now.” I boom, barely glancing at Freya. I desperately want to sweep her up and tell her how worried I was and how much I've missed her. But the surprise encounter with Marciel has my blood boiling, and I realise I'm still furious that she ran away to begin with.
I storm off leaving them to trail behind me.
When we get back to the estate I'm still raging. I send Lyell to his quarters and Aurora to her room, with a guard on the door. Everyone's angry but fuck them! I'm the alpha and they're going to have to bloody well listen to me or face the consequences.
By the time I get Freya to our rooms alone I'm beginning to calm down a little. However, it seems she isn't. As soon as we step into the bedroom Freya catches sight of the handcuffs again and it sets her off – she turns on me.
“What the hell was all that Aaron?! I thought we were a team, a partnership – you don't hog-tie your girlfriend, your partner, and you definitely don't hog-tie your Luna”
“They were handcuffs... you weren't hog-tied! Don't exaggerate!” As soon as it's out my mouth I realise it was the wrong thing to say. Freya spins towards me straining her little face up into mine
“What?! What the fuck does my choice of words matter?! And who is that bitch of a vampire? I can smell her all over you”
I back away slightly alarmed by the venom in her voice. Her mention of Samantha makes me a little ashamed until I remember I came across her and Marciel having a nice little chat.
“Sam helped me find you, because I asked her. She did it for a price. Whereas... what the fuck were you doing with Marciel when I found you?”
“I didn't ask you to find me!” she spits “We were doing just fine getting Aurora back on side, until you come along and imprison her again. You can't live your little sister's life Aaron!”
“and Marciel..?” I won't let this go. She has to know what he meant, his words were ominous. I really didn't like them.
Freya's shoulders slump a little and she shrugs “He was being Marc. Marc plays mind games. Fuck knows what he wanted. At least he just turned up by accident– you invited that bitch into our business!”
Neither of us are going to win this argument tonight. We climb into the same bed but our backs are to each other. I feel vaguely uneasy at the crevasse that's opened up between Freya and I. While she falls asleep almost instantly, clearly exhausted, I toss and turn all night, getting increasingly more frustrated.
When I wake in the morning, groggy and poorly rested, Freya's already up. I can hear her moving around in the en-suite. Desperate for the loo I bang on the door.
“Hurry up in there would you? I need to be at training and I could do with a rinse and the toilet first”
“Fuck off Aaron, I'm not well” she grumbles back. My heart goes out to her a little – despite all her sleep, her voice still sounds tired. Maybe using her majik to find Aurora has taken it out of her. I can't face more argument. Sighing I decide I'll just use the guest room's bathroom.
Rushing out the door to training I nearly run over Liz on her way in.
“Hey! Liz! Freya'
s not feeling well. I've got to lead the training. Maybe you'd take her up some breakfast? And try to convince her Sam really was just helping?” I flash my most winning smile.
“It's Sam now, is it? Not Samantha?” Liz bitches at me. Of course she'd take Freya's side “I'll go and see she's okay, but it should be your job” She shoves past me into the house.
Man alive Tavey must stay on the straight and narrow to keep that one happy. I probably do owe Freya more of an explanation. I'm slightly worried to tell her I agreed an unknown price for finding her. I need Sam to expand on what she wants from us as payment before I broach it with Freya.
I'll go find Freya again after training. I genuinely hope she's feeling better. I need to spend some quality time with her, when we're not both angry. She needs to understand why she's not just important to me, but to the pack and the Watch.
Chapter Forty-Seven
Freya's POV
“Did you bring it?” I shout at Liz through the bathroom door between dry-heaves.
“Yes... Are you sure you want to do this now?” Liz's normally confident voice sounds very unsure. I yank open the door and glare at my best friend.
“Of course I'm fucking sure Liz. Knowing is not going to make me feel any worse” I snatch the pregnancy test from her and retreat back inside.
Once I've pissed on the stupid stick, I'm suddenly not so sure I want to know. Opening the door again I yank an awkward looking Liz inside.
“You look!” I demand
“No, Freya! You need to do this...”
Fuck. If it's positive, if I'm pregnant that's a whole other level I hadn't even considered. Aaron and I have barely gotten past the dating stage, we've certainly never talked about babies. Fuck. I've never thought about being a mum – mine did such a shitty job. Both of them.
I'd turned the test face down as soon as I'd done it, not wanting to look. I steel myself, holding Liz's hand with one sweaty palm, and flipping the test over with the other, I peer at the result.
Two lines. Pregnant.
Liz envelopes me in a massive hug. Oddly I don't feel devastated, instead a warm cosy feeling runs through me. I pat my belly uncertainly.
“Congratulations Mama” Liz croons.
A chilling thought strikes me and it's out my mouth before I can stop it
“Liz, what if … what if it's not Aaron's?” I start to gabble “It... it could be Marc's. Aaron and I got it on virtually as soon as I'd broken Marc's stupid spell. It could be either.”
Liz looks at me shocked. It obviously hadn't crossed her mind. I feel the hand holding the test start to shake.
“Liz! I saw the way Aaron looked at Marc- sheer hatred. I don't know what he'll do if it's Marc's baby” My panicked brain plays over Marc's words about how we were joined forever. Did he somehow know?! Does that mean it's his? Was it just Marc playing his usual mind games?
“It's your baby Freya. Aaron loves you. He'll love your baby whether it's his or not” Liz doesn't sound convinced herself.
A small noise in the bedroom makes me look up alarmed. I shoot out of the en-suite, holding the test, and come face to face with a stormy looking Aaron. He glances between my face and the little stick in my hand.
“I left Tavey to lead the training. I thought I should see you were okay” his voice sounds flat “Is it definite then? You're pregnant?” It sounds like an accusation.
“Yes” I just shrug and try to hug him. He pushes me away and holds me at arm's length peering into my face.
“And it could be Marc's? That's what he meant when he ran into you?”
My eyes well up “I don't know what the fuck Marc meant Aaron!” I'm trying to hold my shit together but even I can hear my voice wobbling “I don't know whose baby it is. Except... except I know it's mine.” I put a hand over my belly possessively, wondering how I hadn't noticed the slight swelling before.
I don't know what I was hoping for. Shouting and yelling would have been better than the desolate shrug Aaron gives before he turns around and walks out the room.
∞∞∞
It takes me until lunchtime to stop vomiting. How the hell do women do this for weeks on end and look 'glowing'? I'm washed out and aching all over. My head's more of a mess.
Liz is right though – it's my baby. I only hope Aaron comes around to the idea. I suppose we can get a test once he or she is born, but I'm terrified it might be Marc's. I don't even know how I'm going to get to that point if Aaron can't support me.
I have to find him, we really need to talk. Liz reminded me of the Silver pack alpha whose plan is to pass the pack to his daughter, because his son isn't his genetically. It sounded ominous until she explained Alpha Silver loved his step-son with all his heart, but knew he didn't have alpha blood and wouldn't make a good leader.
The two, from Liz's understanding, act just like father and son and agree on the pack's line of succession. In fact it's rumoured the Silver boy is relieved – he'll make a good kappa, but he's not interested in being alpha.
Liz's story gives me hope. I know Aaron thought highly of Alpha Silver for a while. I wonder if reminding him of the Silver pack will be enough to give us a chance if the baby isn't his. Taking a deep breath I resolve to go find Aaron and force him to listen. He owes me that at least. I didn't choose to get fucking pregnant.
I slip down the stairs, sensing Aaron in the library. As I get to the door-way I freeze, realising the subtle hint of vampire is lingering too. Without meaning to eves-drop I find myself straining to hear their conversation. Aaron sounds troubled.
“I agreed to a price to get Freya back safely Sam... but it can't be that”
“You made me a deal Alpha Aaron” the vamp's voice is sickly sweet “that's the price I name”
“Name another” Aaron growls.
“No” her voice sounds harsher this time “If that baby is Marciel's you will give it to me. If the child is yours – you keep it and our deal is complete”
Aaron's warning growl fills the air.
“I will sweeten the deal” she sighs “although I shouldn't have to. I will return Aurora's wolf. I know a way. Now, a deal is a deal. If you don't keep it, you know the consequences to the Luna.”
I hear the silence almost as if Aaron is speaking. He is genuinely considering this. My baby for his sister's wolf. I feel the panic rising inside me. I've only known I'm pregnant for a few hours, and I already know I will fight with everything I have to protect this baby.
“There must be another way Sam” Aaron's voice lacks certainty. I think maybe she's already won.
“No other way Alpha Aaron, unless you want to renege and let the Luna pay the price” the vampire sings out. “But feel free to try and find me a better deal”
The bitch sounds almost amused.
“Fine.”
I shrink back against the wall. I can't believe what I'm hearing. He just agreed to giving my baby to the fucking vampires if it's father is Marc. This can't be happening. I feel my whole world slipping away.
Turning from the library I rush back to our rooms. I have to get out of here. I love Aaron with all of my being, but I will not let him do this. How fucking DARE he make this decision?
It takes only a few minutes before I've packed some essential items. I toy over leaving a note. In the end my need for a goodbye wins, and I scribble it down quickly.
“I Freya Faye, reject you Alpha Aaron Varg of the Fenrir Watch.”
I pause, I've no idea if rejections in writing work. It's almost irrelevant. I never intend to let him find me, or my child again. I feel like my heart is tearing in two, but I have to protect this baby inside me. I end the note.
“This baby is mine, your vampire will never have it. Do not look for me”
I've no hope in hell that he won't look, but I'll be damned if he finds me.
The End
Epilogue
I struggle to pull on my shoes, grumbling to myself as I try to bend over my bump.
“Nearly there little one�
� I pat my stomach “Soon I can meet you, and maybe even see my feet again!”
“Any day now!” chirps a voice at my shoulder and I look up to see Aurora peering at me
“There's no bloody privacy anywhere” I snipe.
“Be grateful for the company – You're busy talking to something that can't bloody hear you. Not sure if it's privacy you need, or a psych ward!”
“Oh fuck off. I'm holed up in a one bed crappy apartment with a fated-mate pair, who may as well be fucking rabbits, and a bump the size of a small elephant. AND it's about to get a shit load more crowded when this one arrives!”
The further along in this pregnancy I get, the grumpier I am.
“Are you two squabbling again?!” a deep voice growls "That baby better be a fucking boy, I can't cope with another bloody female round here.”
I round to snarl something back when a sharp pain hits the base of my spine, and then radiates through to my lower abdomen. Ah fuck. I sit down with a bump on the floor. My stomach tightens and I suck in a breath of air.
“It's starting...” I gasp out.
I thought the first few contractions were meant to be gentle. My insides feel like they're in a fucking vice, and I want to vomit.
Lyell strides into the room, picks me up from my huddle on the gound and deposits me on the bed.
“Call the midwife, now.”
Acknowledgements
Many thanks to Konna Marinus who both beta read and edited this book. Without her encouragement and correction it would never have reached print.
I'm incredibly grateful to my ARC and beta readers for their time and input - what a team!