by Jane Godman
“Where’s Cindy?” Madden asked, as he finished his meal.
“In her room. She couldn’t face a big gathering,” Odessa said. “Valetta is with her.”
The mood was subdued and Madden contrasted it to other gatherings in this house. Then there had been laughter and teasing. There were in-jokes and, if Samson was there, practical jokes. Everyone knew each other so well, there was no need to tread carefully around each other’s feelings. The brotherhood members had a bond that went beyond the physical. When they were together, the members could communicate telepathically. The newer members of the group, the partners of the brotherhood members, accepted that with expressions of resignation.
They had been through tough times together as well, of course. Through the centuries, they had faced death together many times. Perhaps that was what made the bond so strong. In recent years, their missions had proved particularly harrowing. Six months after hunting Fenrir, they had faced Jean Chastel for the first time when he had attempted to abduct Valetta and use her extraordinary Shadow Wolf powers to destroy the entire race of Arctic werewolves. There was a tradition prevailing within the brotherhood that the person who knew the most about the current mission took over as leader. Samson had been the person to lead the team to the island of Ulu and save Valetta. They had also believed at the time that he had killed Chastel.
Two years ago the bounty hunter had surfaced again, having eluded them through trickery on Ulu, in an attempt to set the Arctic werewolves at war with their ancient enemies, the Siberians. Lowell had led on that occasion, pitting his wits against the woman who had at that time been the leader of the Siberians. That woman was Odessa, who now sat at his side with her head resting on his shoulder.
The connection was obvious. During their last three missions, the brotherhood leader had found himself a mate. Three of his best friends were now married following some of the most violent and traumatic episodes the team had ever been involved in. Wilder and Jenny. Samson and Valetta. Lowell and Odessa. Against the odds, they had found happiness. He glanced at Maria as she sat next to him listening to one of Samson’s long, involved stories. At her beautiful face, the silvery stubble on her head, and her ruined hands. His heart expanded with an emotion he couldn’t name.
But he wasn’t sure this mission he was leading would give the team another happy ending. Firstly, because the circumstances of the job were so different. Every other time, they had known who the enemy was. This time it was a mess of epic proportions. We don’t even know who we’re fighting. Madden’s frustration was growing alongside his sense of failure. How could he lead the team when he had no idea what he was doing? He was straddling two worlds—with one foot in the human police force and the other in the Arctic brotherhood—yet he had no clue how to proceed in either.
As for Maria, she deserved so much more than Madden could offer her. After what she had been through, she needed a man who could nurture and protect her, not a man whose only experience of relationships was how to walk away from them. When he looked into her eyes he saw strength and courage beyond anything he had ever known. He also saw warmth and admiration. He didn’t want to watch that die out when he let her down. And I will. If I let her get too close, that’s what will happen. Sooner or later—probably sooner—she’ll find out I’m not the hero she thinks I am.
He was a fool to have gotten in so deep so fast, but Maria was an addiction he couldn’t fight. Even as his head was planning how to let her down gently, his body was tensing with renewed desire as she leaned close.
“How soon can we sneak away?” Her voice was husky.
“Any time you want.”
“How about now?” Those golden eyes, so like his own and yet so different, mesmerized him with their fiery glow.
His heart was telling him to be noble, but his body was obeying a need that went much deeper. As he followed Maria up the stairs to her room, Madden tried to tell himself this was animal attraction. Werewolf to werewolf. He had been alone for way to long, starving himself of female company. He almost succeeded. Until Maria turned to him at the bedroom door and wrapped her arms around his neck. Then he was lost in her. Who was he kidding? Yes, this was about his inner wolf wanting her, but it was about so much more. He was in so deep he couldn’t see a way out. And that scared him more than any faceless serial killer.
* * *
Maria could see how tired and frustrated Madden was. His exhaustion was evident in every line of his body. With that extra intuition she had developed where he was concerned, she knew he was taking this personally, seeing the Cage Killer’s ability to stay one step ahead as a personal failure. But she sensed something more in his demeanor tonight, something that troubled her. There was an underlying sadness about him and a hefty dose of fear.
“I want to shift.” Where the hell had that come from? She hadn’t known what she was going to say until the words left her lips. “Now. Tonight. And I want you to come with me.”
“Maria, you don’t have to do this. Not until you’re ready.” He held her lightly by the shoulders, gazing at her.
She tilted her face up to his. Okay, her sudden announcement may have surprised them both, but now it was out there, she experienced a fierce desire to see it through. Let’s get this thing done. Find the real me and take her for a test drive. No more hiding behind this cool façade. Why not release the beast?
“I want this.”
He must have seen how much she meant it because he nodded. “Then let’s do it.”
Their timing was perfect. Midnight was approaching as they made their way out into the garden. Mindful of Samson’s strictures on remaining within the grounds, they made their way toward a thick clump of trees within the gardens. As soon as they stepped into the glade, Maria felt energized. She could see the leafy grove was having a similar effect on Madden.
“Although the forest is not the natural homeland for an Arctic werewolf, the outdoors calls to us,” he explained. “Leaving a man-made environment for a natural one always nourishes our inner wolf.”
“I read a leaflet of Lowell’s,” she said. “It seemed to be about visualization.”
“There is more sorcery than science in shifting.” Madden turned her to face him, carefully taking hold of her hands. “I’ve never known a time when I couldn’t shift, but it’s about thinking your way into your wolf. She’s there, inside you. You have to find a way to release her.”
Maria stepped out of her clothes and closed her eyes, allowing the sounds and scents of an Alaskan midnight to wash over her. Inside myself? Have I ever looked deep enough? It felt like she had lived her whole life on the surface, skimming the outer reaches of who she was. Scared to dig deep in case she found someone she didn’t like. Now she was seeking another part of herself, a part she had ruthlessly suppressed, a part that was glorious and untamed.
Slowly, she felt something stir. Far down inside, in that place she had shut off and never probed, a surge of something new and primal made her gasp.
“Can you feel her, Maria?” Madden’s voice was low and exultant. “Can you feel your wolf?” She nodded. “Focus on her. Let her do the rest.”
She grimaced, a soft moan—almost a howl—leaving her lips, as she relinquished control. The first sensation was of her body tightening as her limbs stretched and changed shape. No pain. The thought was clear, sharp, and surprised. Her jaw lengthened and her features shifted. Her canines became fangs, her fingernails turned into claws. It was a shift. Swift and undramatic. It was part of who she was. One minute she was Maria the human. The next, when she opened her eyes, she was Maria the wolf.
Her damaged hands meant her front paws were misshapen, but her wolf body was otherwise perfect. She dropped onto all fours, tipping her head back and giving a howl of invitation to Madden who was watching her with an expression of pride.
Quickly, he shrugged out of his clothes and shifted. He was stunning. A huge white male, with a star-shaped dark gray blaze in the center of his forehead.
&
nbsp; Crisp air rushed through Maria’s thick white pelt as she wove through the trees, keeping pace with the easy strides of the Arctic male at her side. They snarled and played as they ran, nipping at each other, riding up on each other’s shoulders and occasionally tumbling over on the grass. Her paws pounded on the uneven ground and her footing was sure. There was some residual pain from the damage inflicted to her human hands, but she shrugged it aside, lost in the pleasure of finally setting her inner wolf free. Ducking under low branches and leaping over fallen logs, she relished the feel of the leaf litter kicking up beneath her paws. In the distance, the mountain peaks were highlighted by snow and her blood sang with a longing to feel the ice on her body. The midnight sun dipped onto the horizon, calling to her soul and she wondered how she had managed to survive until now without this.
When the beautiful male wolf came to her and rested his muzzle on the back of her neck, some deeper instinct told her how to respond and she dipped her head in submission. She was his. She knew her place. Crouching low, she rubbed her face against his muzzle. The male stood proud, graciously allowing this gesture of deference.
Maria rolled onto her back, presenting her unprotected belly to him. The male stood over her, baring his teeth as he looked down at her. Standing over her, he rested his jaw against her chest, pressing lightly to demonstrate his dominance. Releasing her, he nudged his nose down her body, marking her with his scent. Claiming her. A low, rumbling growl of anticipation rose in his throat.
He caught the loose fur at her neck between his teeth, and the female froze. The male sank his teeth into her flesh, and she submitted to him with a soft howl of surrender. Just as he was about to bring her to her feet and move his body over hers in preparation for the act of mating, he released her. Breaking into a run, he turned back toward the glade where they had shifted.
Maria crouched low, shivering, uncertain of what had just happened. How had she displeased him? After a moment or two of uncertainty, she followed him.
Chapter Eleven
Madden was aware of Maria watching him with hurt and confusion in her eyes as they made their way back to the house. How could he explain to her what had happened when he didn’t understand it himself?
His wolf self had been within seconds of mating with her. He had been on the verge of the most joyous, perfect moment of his life. And then something, some deep seated prompting had stopped him. Wolves mate for life. My worthless life? What would any woman—human or werewolf—want with that?
Was it his human voice he had heard out there as he had released her just at the point of mating? He wasn’t sure. All he knew was he had stopped just in time. For Maria’s sake. She had had a lucky escape. The pain in her eyes told him she didn’t understand that, but Madden knew it. That was what mattered.
They had pulled their clothes back on quickly and in silence. Now, he was conscious that her first experience of shifting had been spoiled. She had offered him her body and he had spurned her. It didn’t get much worse than that on a first attempt. He owed her something, even if he could never tell her all of it.
“Look, what happened back there . . .”
“You don’t have to explain.” There was a quiet dignity to the words that hit him harder than recriminations could ever have done.
“You know that wolves mate for life, right?”
“Oh.” A tiny, regretful smile tugged at her lips. “I see.”
How the hell had he just managed to make everything so much worse? I see? He’d told her quite plainly he didn’t want her for life. As she straightened her shoulders and walked slightly ahead of him, he felt like he’d lost her forever. But wasn’t that what he wanted? Didn’t he want to let her go? No. It wasn’t what he wanted. This was a fine time to realize it was the last thing he wanted. But it was what he had to do.
When they reached the door of her room, Maria turned to him with a smile that wasn’t quite a smile. She was trying hard to be brave and it almost tore him in two. “Do you know what? I’m really tired after all that exercise. I should probably just get some sleep.”
“Don’t do this.” He couldn’t let her think he didn’t care, even if it meant breaking his own vow. He couldn’t allow that pain in her eyes to remain unresolved. “Let me explain . . .”
Before he could finish, his cell phone buzzed and his heart dropped like a stone. It was that time. The Cage Killer’s time. He saw his own dread reflected in Maria’s eyes and she held the bedroom door open. Stepping inside, he answered the call, knowing who it would be before he even heard those high-pitched, gloating tones.
“How’s my girl doing, Detective Madden? I hope you’re taking good care of Maria until I can come for her. Tell her I’m thinking of her.”
Madden sat on the edge of the bed. “Leave her out of this.” The words came out through tightly clenched teeth.
“Like you’ve been doing?” There was an edge to the voice now. “Fucking the witness? Is that allowed? I think your superiors might have something to say about that.”
“Say what you need to or I’m ending this call right now.”
“There is another of my little gifts on its way to you.” The cheery note was back. The killer was enjoying himself once more. “This is a feisty one. He fought harder than any of the others.”
Madden closed his eyes at the image of Hendrik in the killer’s clutches. “Is he still alive?”
The question fell into dead air. The Cage Killer had already ended the call.
Madden let his phone slip from his fingers onto the bed as his shoulders slumped. It was always the same. After talking to the killer, he could feel the effect of that concentrated evil as if it were in the same room with him, as if he had inhaled it.
Maria moved to sit next to him, wrapping her arms around him and drawing his head down to rest on her shoulder. Her presence drove some of the horror of what he had just heard away, and Madden clung to her, letting her soothe him.
When he finally raised his head, he drew her into his arms with a shudder. How had he ever thought he could walk away from her? Whatever the future held for him, she was a part of it. He just had to find a way to make that work within the screwed-up mess he called his emotions.
As he tried to find the words to explain that to Maria, a stack of drawings on the dresser caught his eye and he froze. Rising, he moved across and lifted the top picture off the pile scrutinizing it with a sense of shock.
“Did you draw this?” He held it out to Maria.
She nodded. “I wanted to see if I could use my right hand. It’s my attempt to draw the man who came into my hospital room.” She frowned at the expression on his face. “You look stunned. What is it?”
“I know this man. His name is Anton Rainer. He is the man who led us to you in the cave below the house where you were held captive.”
* * *
Madden had to make a decision. It was probably the hardest of his life. His human instincts told him to give Rainer’s description to the Alaskan Frontier Force and get them to search for him. His werewolf instincts told him to get the brotherhood on the next plane to Anchorage.
In the end, he compromised. Calling his police team together for an emergency meeting, he issued them with the latest piece of information and told them he was heading out to the Kenai Peninsula to speak to Rainer himself. It was true. He left the meeting and joined the other members of the brotherhood on the private jet Wilder had chartered.
“We have a slight problem,” Samson said before Madden could drop, exhausted, into his seat. Samson jerked his head toward the rear of the plane. Madden followed the direction of his friend’s gaze and encountered Maria’s eyes. She was seated on her own. Her expression was nervous, but determined.
“What the hell?” Madden marched purposefully toward her. “This is not happening.”
She gripped the sides of her seat as best she could with her damaged hands. It was as though she was afraid he was going to forcibly remove her. And it’s an idea. “I know my
way around those caves.”
Fuck. She was right. But that didn’t make it okay for her to go back to the place where she had been tortured and terrorized. “I can’t let you do this, Maria.”
She swallowed so hard he heard the clicking sound in her throat. “Don’t you see? I have to do it. I can’t know there could be someone else trapped in that same sort of hell and do nothing to help them.”
And, as he looked into her eyes, he did see. He saw anguish and empathy. It didn’t make it right to take her with them, but what she was saying made sense. She could lead them through the rat-warren of caves beneath that house if they needed to search it again. But was there a possibility the killer was counting on her being with them? By taking her along, could Madden be taking Maria into a trap? No. The thought was fierce. Because, if she is with me, I’ll protect her. If that bastard wants to get his hands on her again, he’ll have to go through me first.
“You don’t take a step without asking me first. Understand?” He flopped into the seat next to her.
“I promise.” She exhaled slowly, her lovely smile replacing the nervous look. “What have you found out about Anton Rainer?”
“For the first time in this case, we’ve come across someone who does exist,” Madden said, buckling himself in as the plane prepared to take off. “And the story he told us when we encountered him in the Kenai Peninsula is true. Rainer’s grandfather was the eccentric artist who built the house on top of the caves where you were held. Rainer himself is an environmentalist who lives nearby.”
“So what happens next?”
“We find Rainer and talk to him.” Madden leaned back in his seat.
“Just talk to him? All of you?”
He grinned. “Sometimes people talk more when we all turn up.”
Maria could believe it. She cast a glance around the plane. Not including her, there were seven Arctic werewolves on board. They were all alphas, including Jenny. Intimidating as individuals, in a group they were stunning. Maria had never seen or felt so much raw, concentrated power. She had gotten to know them a little better over the past few days, so she knew more about their individual personalities as well as how they worked as a team. She knew that they revered the goddess Angrboda, who was known as the Mother of All Wolves. She was the one who had created the Brotherhood of the Midnight Sun centuries ago in response to a violent rampage by her own son, Santin the Siberian. Maria turned her head to look at Madden. His eyes were closed and his head was tilted back. He gave the impression of being asleep, but she wasn’t entirely convinced that was the case. She wasn’t sure he ever slept properly. The Cage Killer ruined more lives than those of the victims he killed outright.