I especially enjoyed watching how Danto’s chest muscles bulged as he dragged the dead black witch. He seemed to have found a purpose, making his features even more pleasant to admire. What could I say? There was no law that said I couldn’t look. I was single, and the rule was, single gals were allowed to look. Besides, I had almost died, might as well enjoy the view.
I didn’t ask and didn’t care what they did with the bodies. I just didn’t want to see or think about them or how they’d wanted to bleed me dry and then drink my blood. Those witches had almost killed me.
Tyrius had left about forty minutes ago to scout out the streets of Mystic Quarter for any more dark witches or anything else that looked suspicious and out of place, which could be anything really in this quarter. But he was so adamant on going, I let him, knowing he felt guilty about what almost happened to me, to us. But that was in no way his fault. The fault was mine. All mine.
Danto had thought it best to camp out here for the rest of the day and get some much-needed rest before we showed our faces in Mystic Quarter. Faeries slept during the day, and the dark faerie queen would not open the tower until sunset. Once the sun was down, we’d bring Ugul to the faerie queen.
Staying in the basement for a little while longer seemed like a smart idea. I was also hoping to catch Evanora Crow. I had a feeling the old bag would return. But after an hour of waiting, I realized she probably wasn’t coming back. Ever.
Ugul sat next to the basement stairs across from me, looking foul and angry that he was still tied and gagged. I tried not to look at him too much. Otherwise my guilt might make me do something stupid.
I looked up at the sound of hard-soled boots on plywood to see Jax lowering himself next to me.
“Here,” he said and handed me a dagger, which I recognized as my soul blade, and my leather messenger bag. “Found it with the rest of our stuff.”
“Thanks,” I said, feeling myself warm at his nearness. His thigh brushed against mine as he settled next to me, and the faint smell of soap and musk rose up around me. The scent was pleasant, too pleasant. Why does he have to be so damn close?
“I wanted to talk to you,” said Jax as he folded his hands on his lap.
Shit. Here it comes. My heart leapt and then settled back into its usual pace. I wasn’t ready for a talk, talk. A shiver lifted through me, and I blinked as his eyes fixed on me from under his lowered brow. Just freaking great.
I sighed focusing my attention on Keith, the pale vampire, as he examined the fingers from the young blonde witch. Then, with a quick jerk of his hand, ripped off one of the dead witch’s fingernails and pocketed them. Creepy.
“Please don’t,” I breathed. “I know what you’re about to say, and frankly, I don’t care.” My voice came out hard, and I was fine with it. He had no business kissing me when he had a poor woman waiting for him somewhere. I would never take another woman’s man. Ever.
Jax rested his head against the fake wood paneling, our shoulders touching, but I wouldn’t move away. Instead, I felt myself easing against him. I shifted back. What the hell am I doing?
“When I first met you,” he began, his voice rumbling pleasantly, “I was impressed with your skills, your abilities—just the way you moved like a deadly shadow. I thought you were the hottest thing on two legs.”
I frowned at the smile on his face. “Don’t patronize me,” I growled. “I’m too tired for this crap.”
“I’d heard many things about Rowyn Sinclair, the Hunter,” continued Jax, ignoring my outburst, with the same sly grin on his face. “Imagine my surprise when they all turned out to be true. You’re fierce and beautiful and downright scary at times.”
“Damn straight,” I muttered, satisfied. Did he just call me beautiful?
“You’re tough and have more balls than most of the guys I know.” He laughed, showing off his pearly whites. “And you can take a serious ass whooping—”
“What are you getting at, Jax?” I met his green eyes, my heart thumping madly in my chest.
He pulled his eyes down. “I kissed you. I shouldn’t have done that.”
Was that an apology? Didn’t really sound like one.
Danto turned around and my face flamed as he met my eyes, a curious expression playing on his features. Damn that keen vampire hearing. I couldn’t even have a private conversation. No doubt, Vicky and Keith were also listening in. Great.
“It was just a kiss. I’ll live,” I said, making sure my voice didn’t betray me. If we had slept together, I would have kicked your pretty ass. Okay, maybe I would have slapped it playfully a few times—then, I would have kicked it! “It was a spur of the moment thing. We don’t have to talk about it anymore. Okay? Are we good?”
Jax didn’t say anything for a while, and the uncomfortable silence was sending my pounding heart into overdrive. “The thing is,” he said, “it wasn’t. Not for me.”
Crap. My pulse pounded, and I hated how he could do this to me. How his just sitting here turned me into a hot mess idiot. I reeled in my feelings before they had me found out.
“I care about Ellie,” he said in a very business-like tone, as though he were commenting on the weather. “She’s kind. Funny. Smart. You’d like her, you know. She’s a good person. She’s not as badass as you are, but she can hold her own in a fight.”
I fumed. “I don’t care.” Liar. Liar. Liar.
“We dated for a while,” said Jax. “And when I brought Ellie to meet my parents…” he took a labored breath, “I saw a change in my mother, a happiness I hadn’t seen since Gillian was alive.” He paused for a heartbeat. “At the time, I thought I was doing the right thing. I knew if I married Ellie, it would make my mother happy.”
My breath caught and my eyebrows rose. “You would marry someone just for the sake of your mother?” I didn’t care how harsh my voice sounded. I hated the woman. She was vile, a drunk, and overly medicated. “This isn’t seventeenth-century Europe. You do have a choice.” Not that I cared…
Jax’s face held traces of a deep sadness, something I recognized in myself. “Since my sister’s death, my mother’s never been the same,” he said, his voice melancholy. “She’s in some perpetual depression, her own hell. I barely see my own father because of it. He can’t stand her when she’s like this.”
“I can relate,” I mumbled. That woman could get under anyone’s skin.
“That’s why I’ve been so persistent in trying to find my sister’s killer,” said Jax, his voice low and controlled. “I thought if I did, she would change somehow. Knowing that I killed it, and knowing it would never hurt another child.”
My head jerked. “You found the demon?”
Jax’s voice was strained. “No. But I’m close. I’ve been tracking it for the past six months. There’s a pattern with the way it chooses its victims. I finally figured it out. And it’s how I’m going to kill it.”
“Jax, a rakshasa demon is deadly. You shouldn’t be hunting it on your own. It’s too dangerous.” I cringed as I realized I almost offered to go hunting with him. The last thing I needed was to be stuck alone with Jax, hours on end, in crappy motels searching for a demon. It would be way too easy to get into trouble with him, looking the way he did, the way his green eyes lit up when he looked at me…
“Right.” The smile he gave me never reached his eyes. “And what you’ve been doing is any different? Face it. We’re both hardheaded and we’ll do whatever it takes to kill demons.”
“Maybe.” I twirled my soul blade with my fingers. I had to admit he was right about that.
Jax let out a long sigh. “I love my mother. It kills me to see how much she’s suffering. Is it so wrong for a son to want his mother to be happy again?”
No. I guess not.
And in the silence that followed, I could easily visualize Jax and some mystery, gorgeous blonde walking down the aisle with his mother wiping away false tears alongside the echo of his father.
“Everything was fine,” said Jax, “until I
met you.” The sudden heat in his voice pulled my skin tight. “Now things are… complicated.”
“Complicated?” I raised my brow at him, not liking how he had said the word, like I had somehow screwed up his perfect little life. That somehow this, this thing, whatever this was, was my fault. Hell, I never asked for this.
He pressed his hand against mine, and his warm skin sent a flame through my body.
“Are you going to go through with it?” I asked, my voice low, surprised that I even went there. Sweat trickled down my back, and my pulse thrashed like I’d just run around the block.
Jax clenched his jaw. “I have to. You don’t understand—”
My breath shook as I exhaled. I pulled my hand away. “Whatever. It’s your life. Just leave me out of it.” I noticed a flicker of movement and then saw Tyrius clambering down the steps.
“Rowyn, I’m sorry. I didn’t want to hurt—”
“What? My feelings?” I laughed, but my face flamed. “Please, I barely know you. Don’t presume to think that you know me either because you don’t. You don’t know anything about me.” Now I was pissed.
Jax raked his fingers through his hair. “I still want us to be friends.”
“Sure,” I said with a false brightness. I felt sick. I was going to puke. My stomach cramping, I jumped to my feet. I turned to face him, keeping my face void of emotion. “Let me give you a tip, Jax. Just so you know. Men with fiancées don’t go around kissing other women. That’s on you. You should remember that.” I turned around before he could see the moisture in my eyes.
Damn him. Why did he have to tell me all this? Did he think it would help or was it his plan just to confuse me more?
He was being his noble self, a white knight, hoping to cure his mother’s grief, and I was being a selfish ass.
I should have kept my feelings in check. Jax and me, that was never going to happen. It was a fact.
I needed to get away from Jax, and he needed to stay the hell away from me.
19
By the time we left the basement of The Rusty Cauldron, my mood had soured to the point where I could actually feel the anger seeping out of my pores, like stinky sweat. I was that ticked off.
The streets of Mystic Quarter were unusually empty for this time of night, the gathering darkness rushing in quickly to fill the spaces left by the broken streetlights like a black fog. I spotted a few vampires watching us from their balconies and windows, but the two faeries that had been sitting quietly in the quarter’s park hurried in the opposite direction as soon as they heard our arrival.
Tension and adrenaline raced through me. Something was not right. And by the cut off conversations of the others, I knew they felt it too. Taken all together, it had the feel of a brewing thunderstorm, and we were it.
I was tired and hungry. My emotions were spinning out of control, and I was angry at myself for letting them get this far. I needed to focus. I needed to forget about me and focus on the real issue. My grandmother was about to lose everything. She was my only family left. Helping her was more important than my selfish desire to have a relationship, to get more kisses from Jax, and maybe something more.
I wasn’t weak, and I wasn’t in dire need of affection. I didn’t need a man to feel complete, to give my life value, or to function. And I wasn’t one of those women who would wait around in the hopes that their man would eventually come around. Hell no. Life was too short to wait around for something that might never happen.
Were soul mates real? I had no idea. Still, I was never one to believe in the “happily ever after.” Things just didn’t happen. You had to work at relationships. You had to make your own happily ever after, your own destiny. That’s what I believed in.
If I did happen to meet a great guy, well, that would be wonderful. But if I didn’t, if it never happened for me, I wouldn’t feel sorry for myself. I would keep on going.
I was blessed, or cursed, with being special. With having the best of two worlds—of shadow and light—and I was going to use it.
I might be screwed up when it came to relationships, but Jax’s situation was worse. That was a nightmare I had no desire to be a part of. Knowing myself, the best way to deal with this sort of situation was to put as much distance as I could between Jax and me. I would eventually forget his hot ass.
But the fool had decided to come. I didn’t want to make a scene, so I’d kept my mouth shut. I didn’t want Jax knowing how much his little talk had left me feeling worse. Much worse.
But it would pass. It always did.
“Uh, Rowyn, you okay?” Tyrius padded next to me. The worry in his voice pulled my eyes down to him.
“I’m fine,” I lied. “Let’s just get this over with. And by this, I mean him,” I said and pulled Ugul forcefully next to me. Danto and Vicky had sneaked ahead of us while Keith kept watch at the back with Jax.
“You do know why he’s coming. Don’t you?”
I kept my eyes on the street. “To be a pain in my ass?” I said finally.
Tyrius snorted. “The douchebag likes you.”
“He’s engaged.”
“Engagements are broken all the time,” said the cat, his voice light and airy.
“Yeah, well, I don’t think this one will. His mother thinks I’m a demon,” I said. Maybe I am.
“Nothing wrong with that,” mewed the cat. “Seriously. Demons are awesome. We lie, cheat, steal, and drink just like regular folk. Angels have a celestial stick up their asses. They’re boring.”
“There’s no future there.” I stole a glance behind me. Jax had gone back to fetch his car, which explained the dangerous looking double barrel shotgun draped over his shoulder. He had a swagger in his step like he was anxious to kill something.
My legs grew heavier with every step. I felt drained, like I needed to sleep for a week.
Tyrius titled his head as he walked, trying to get a look at Ugul. “Your faerie looks a little off.”
“He’s an old goblin,” I snapped. “Of course he looks off.”
“No, I mean he looks sick.” Tyrius’s voice had turned serious. “Rowyn, I think he’s sick or something.”
Remembering how the goblin tried to kill me with his faerie magic, anger welled inside my chest and I dragged him harder. “He’s just trying to trick us into thinking that. I’m surprised you would get suckered into his act.”
“Rowyn, stop!” shouted Tyrius and I whirled around. “Look at him. He can’t breathe. Take it off!”
Still frowning, I looked at the goblin and I cringed. The skin around his face had darkened, looking almost black, and he was sweating, so much so that he looked like he’d just stepped out of the shower. This didn’t look like an act. If it was, he deserved an Oscar.
This wasn’t me. I wasn’t this cruel. I knew if I kept handling him like this, he’d end up dead before we even reached the tower.
With my chest tight, I hooked my arm under the goblin’s and lowered him so he could sit on the sidewalk. Ugul let out a sigh through his nose, his lids fluttering like he was about to pass out from the lack of air.
Making up my mind, I removed the makeshift gag around his mouth. He took a deep breath, then another, then another, all of them sounding wheezy. Man. I was cruel. What was wrong with me?
I pulled out a water bottle from my bag and put it to his lips. The goblin drank long and deep, finishing the entire bottle in four big gulps. He closed his eyes, seeming to enjoy the moment.
As I let myself fall next to the goblin, a little motion to the left caught my eye. I spotted half-breeds stepping out from the shadows. Their faces were covered in darkness, but I could still read the curious expressions. Two witches watched us next to a lamppost like silent wraiths, and a collection of faeries stepped out from a neighboring shop. Tyrius’s sudden cry had been like an alarm in this place, and now they all came out. No doubt, in a few minutes the entire quarter would know we were here. Queen Isobel would know.
Jax, Danto and the other two vamp
ires all gathered around us, seemingly to make a protective circle.
Tyrius leapt onto my lap. “You did good, Rowyn. I didn’t think he was going to make it past the next block.”
Shame hit me hard as I looked at the goblin sitting there, hunched over, his breathing strained and looking ill. I wished things were different. As a Hunter, I killed demons. I didn’t know how to feel about bringing in some poor old goblin to a queen I hated. I wasn’t supposed to feel guilt. I was supposed to get paid and move on. But this sucked.
Ugul, with his eyes still closed said, “Thank you.”
My eyes went to his wrists. The cuffs I’d tied them with were stained in blood. “Why did you save my life, back there? You could have let the witch kill me. Then you’d be free.”
Ugul’s eyes snapped open and he looked at me. “Are you still going to bring me to the faerie queen of the Dark Court?”
I swallowed. “I have to—”
“Then it doesn’t matter now, does it?” Ugul let his head fall to his chest, and I could still smell the cabbage rolling off of him.
Tyrius looked up at me, his eyes sad, which only made me feel worse. Great. Now Tyrius thought I was evil.
“Is it true what she said you did?” I asked, gazing at the sidewalk and hearing the guilt in my voice. “Did you kill her son?”
His voice cold, Ugul enunciated clearly, “If I told you he’d tried to kill me first, and I was only trying to protect myself, would you believe me? Would you let me go?”
“I don’t know.” I was belligerent because I was afraid and confused. My throat closed, and I sighed. I hated feeling this way. I was not accustomed to it. A moment of clarity would be better than all this confusion. And awkwardness. And misery. Souls help me, what do I do?
“Your baal knows I speak the truth.”
A brief look of pain passed over Tyrius’s features. “It’s true. There are no lies in his words.”
My eyes widened. “Then why would she go all this way and hire me to find you if you’re innocent? It doesn’t make sense.”
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