by Abra Ebner
RAVEN
Book Three
Abra Ebner
A Dream Within A Dream
Edgar A. Poe
Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow-
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.
I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand-
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep- while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?
Some say that the gods leave our world from time to time, giving us weeks, years, decades, millenniums to rule on our own, only returning when things are at their worst. Could we handle this power on our own and thrive? Or would we simple destroy it, polluting this planet beyond what is reversible, depleting it of all its resources. If the gods are leaving us, then will they return? Do we deserve to be saved once more? Or will this be the last time…
RETURN
Edgar
“You cannot do that to her and you know it.” Sam’s voice crashed through the trees of the forest.
“I can. I have to see her.” The anger inside me was so profound that I wanted to rip Sam to pieces, and I could. I slammed my fist into my palm, angry that I could even think of such things.
Sam looked at me with a skeptical face. “I doubt you could actually go through with it. You could never kill me.”
“Stay out of my head, Sam. I’ve warned you,” I growled, pacing from one tree to the next. “And I don’t care, Sam. I need to know that she’s alright.”
Sam shook his head. “She needs to grow, Edgar. You know what she is as well as I do. You can’t cage her like a wild animal.”
I clenched my fists at my sides. What did Sam know anyway? He had no idea how it felt to be me, to feel the hatred and anger of the whole world weighing on my soul everyday. Elle was the only thing that could calm me, the only thing that could make my mind clear.
“Coming to find you was enough of a burden for her. She needs another month to recover. She needs to find the strength she needs if she is to do as is prophesized. Then—” He laughed. “Then you can come back and tell her what she needs to know. If you know what I mean.” He glared at me.
Sam’s words struck far too close to home, causing my anxiety to mount. I stopped pacing, halting abruptly as dirt gathered under my heels. “I know what she needs, but that’s not my concern.”
“How is it not your concern?”
It was a stupid thing to say. Of course it was my concern. Everything in her life was my concern. There was an indescribable selfish feeling inside me, though. It wanted to take over.
Sam continued to glare. “If you won’t tell her about it, then don’t come back at all.” He crossed his arms against his chest, making a stand against me.
I shook my head. “What is this, Sam? Are you in love with her?” It was the first thing I could think to say. I had left her with him without thinking it through, and I knew he had the mind to.
Sam threw both his hands in the air and laughed in a mocking tone. “Hardly. She’s all yours, cowboy.”
His statement only made me feel mildly better. I was looking for a fight, but he was playing it smart. He knew just what to say to keep my emotions at bay, just enough courtesy to justify peace. But, peace was the last thing I wanted.
“Look, Edgar. She needs a little more time. I knew you were coming back. I came to the forest to stop you because I don’t want you to barge in on the process that’s going on. Right now she still needs to be away from you, so that she can feed on the power independence gives her. But soon enough, she’s going to need you. I realize how weak you are right now, but you have to wait.” He laughed under his breath. “And by the way, you look like hell.”
I narrowed my eyes at him, still hoping that he would give me a reason to slash his throat.
“This is one of those times where you need to be a civilized gentleman, though I know you lack the ability. If you rush to see her now, it is likely you will end up becoming overwhelmed and kill her.” Sam took one step toward me and I felt my will to stop myself begin to falter. “I’m thinking in her best interest. Apparently you’re not.”
That was it. That was the accusation I was looking for. I lunged at him, but before I even got close, he managed to spring up and into a nearby tree.
A deep laugh rumbled from his throat. “I told you, Edgar. You are weak.”
I shook my head, feeling the whole world whirl around me like an angry cloud.
“Her friends are getting married soon. That will be a good time for you to show up, if not a little sappy. It will give you a month to regain some strength, and pull yourself together.” Sam lowered himself from the tree with one hand. “Besides, you have a problem that needs to be addressed.”
I took a deep breath, looking at him with hatred in my eyes. “And what is that?” I asked through clenched teeth.
Sam crossed his arms smugly against his chest. “You left that holograph of yours behind, down at the college, and its beginning to cause problems. I’ve found it lurking in the woods out here, looking to find Elle and take the soul for his own. It thinks it can live!”
I let out an annoyed sigh. “Piece of junk.”
“Well, you created it,” Sam retorted.
“Shut up, Sam. It’s not a big deal.” My jaw was fixed. What was that thing thinking? A murderous rage rose in my chest. The desire to kill was so sweet that it made my bones ache.
I tried to calm the feeling, remembering that I had declared never to take a life unless it was a righteous cause. But this was, I thought. I laughed to myself, remembering the day I had vowed to uphold the code, laughed as I saw Matthew beside me, making the same vow.
I sighed and let the anger roll off my chest. Killing this ghost would help me. Murder was always the quickest way to regain my strength and quench the thirst that burrowed in my heart.
Sam rolled his eyes, and I shot my gaze to meet his. His face sank into a frown, his penetrating mind unable to ignore my angry thoughts.
“I’ll warn you one more time, Sam. Stay out of my head.” I lifted one brow, eyeing him.
Sam smiled and turned away from me, muttering something under his breath as he walked back toward the meadow.
“Where are you going?” I snapped, following after him with my feet pounding the earth, threatening to crack it open.
Sam’s wings unfurled from his back as he leapt into the trees in time to avoid my angry swing. My arm sliced through empty air, knocking me off balance as I fell to the ground with a resounding thud.
“I’m going home, Edgar. If you know what’s good for you, you’ll get your act together before attempting to see her. I’ll be watching you.” Sam hovered over my head before landing. He placed both feet on my wrists, trapping me against the ground, taking advantage of my weakened state. “After all, she is mine to keep, and I will do whatever it takes to do so. If I so much as sniff one ounce of danger from you, I will not hesitate to sacrifice all I have. I will freely give away my life and my privileges here—if there are any. I will not hesitate to protect her.”
I struggled to get free as he once again took to the air. “Edgar, heed my words. I will be back in a day, so I suggest you set up camp and get comfortable. There’s not much more you can do.” He smiled at me. “Oh, and… you’re going to need to acclimate yourself to those.” He pointed behind me, and I looked to where he had. Shocked, I grabbed at my shoulders, seeing I had wings.
Sam’s laughter echoed through the trees. “You should have known, Edgar. Though you still retain all your previous abilities, you did die saving her. You’re an angel now, and a raven.”
I snarled as I righted myself, sitting in a puddle of mud. I watched Sam disappear between the trees before exhaling. As much as I didn’t want to hear it, Sam was right. I had saved her but had also forgotten what that sacrifice meant. I still felt the raven inside me, but now this? What more did I need to endure to prove myself? Was this another way to protect her?
Elle was something special, something different. I had been warned of the consequences of being her mate, but what could I do? Leave her alone? Leave her empty? I had done that for far too long–I was done. I had always thought that I was put here to protect her. Never did I expect that one day she would come to save me. Never. I thought it was my job to remind her of who she was, to bring her back, but now I was no longer certain.
Why had she forgotten everything about our life before, and everything she knew about herself? Why, if she was so important to us all, had she forgotten what she was destined for? I was beginning to think that this whole thing was what Fate had planned. Perhaps she wanted to see what Elle would do when placed in these painful situations, tricking her into falling in love with the human race in the hopes of making her feel sorry for them. It was no secret that Fate always hated the rule the gods had over us. Fate wanted her to want to save us, and destroy them.
She was the ruling goddess of all things, a myth in most parts of the world, but a true being. They say Fate is more gorgeous than any creature you can imagine, and more powerful. She knows what will happen in the future because it is her that creates it. No one can sway Fate her from the path she decides, because no one can find her. Fate finds you. From time to time she will gift us with an idea of what will happen, or a prophecy, but it is rare.
I believe now that Fate wanted her to have enough anger in her heart so that she would grow strong. Still, the essence of the plan Sam and I had made, before Elle had forgotten it all, was finally unfolding. Whatever Fate’s reasons, we were still going to take back what was rightfully ours. We would save all those that had been tortured as we had, and torture those that deserve it–namely the corrupt gods.
I smiled as excitement filled my heart. Finally, it was time. Finally, the end of the reign of the gods was coming. But if this was going to work, then Sam was right. I needed to be smart. And right now, the smart thing to do was to wait.
RECHARGE
Edgar
I threw a log on the fire as I grumbled under my breath, hating every minute of this little camp-out. The fire crackled as the wet log worked to heat up, sending sparks into the air and landing dangerously close to my hand. I reached over my back and grabbed a feather from the wings that still protruded, yanking one out and bringing it to my face to inspect it.
I wasn’t surprised that they were black, like a raven. And in fact, I was insulted by it, as though the gods were making it obvious that I had an evil heart. I drew in a deep breath, exhaling as the smell of smoke made me nauseous. The light from the fire cast a small circle around me, barely flickering enough to reach a nearby tree, but I didn’t care. I wasn’t afraid of anything.
I began to think back on what Sam had told me earlier, about the hologram gone wrong. It wasn’t the first time I had seen it happen, and it made me laugh as I thought back on my old friend Edgar Poe.
We had made a hologram of him once, as a sort of joke. We used it to thwart off a needy love affair gone bad. She was a fan of his work, fanatic really, and everyday she would wait for him outside his door, no matter what the weather. The hologram served as a sort of distraction, allowing him to escape when needed, leaving her with nothing but air. Soon though, the woman fell in love with it, and the hologram in return, fell in love with her. The stalker became the stalked, and eventually we had to kill it before a real murder ensued. The good thing is, she stopped after that.
I was happy that Edgar had found his happiness in heaven, and I looked forward to the day when I’d see him again. He was a true friend. I sighed, admitting to myself that Sam was a true friend as well, though at this moment, I wanted nothing more than to rip him limb from limb. He knew what was best. He always knew, and that’s what bothered me most. I hated when people took a position above me, and though I tried to be strong enough to never allow that to happen, I was who I was, and at times I needed help.
I drew my watch from the lapel of my coat, opening the shiny silver cover and tilting the face of the watch toward the fire. It was nearing midnight, but it wasn’t the time that had made me look at the watch–it was the engraving from Elle. I ran my thumb across the scratched letters, feeling the indentation ripple across the ridges of my finger. I was close enough to feel her warmth inside my soul, close enough to feel the emotion she held at any given moment–darting from happiness to tension in a heartbeat. She was anxious and afraid, wondering if I’d ever return. I wanted to hold her and tell her it was all right, but I knew there was also that part of me that held the desire to suck that very same life from her bones, ripping her heart apart like an animal.
I shuddered at the thought, feeling like a monster as I forced my wings back and away from me. I hid them in the shadows with shame, feeling as though I didn’t deserve something so holy. I snapped the watch shut with one hand, still holding the feather in the other.
My body tingled with a strength I hadn’t felt before. Though I was already strong, I wondered what becoming an angel had really done and what sort of power it had granted me. I could already fly, so getting wings seemed useless. I thought I was already strong, but perhaps stronger? I knew that Sam could read minds, but could I? I tried to think back to when I had seen Sam earlier, but could not recall hearing any thoughts. Then again, maybe he had the power to hide them from me as well.
Feeling bored, I tried to amuse myself with the memories of Matthew’s death. I smiled, but it was short lived as the memories quickly turned morbid, knowing that my own death had followed. Finding there was nothing else left to distract me from the task at hand, I finally faced the facts and began to think of a plan.
Tomorrow I would set out and hunt down the hologram. Surely then things would begin to fall into place, and I would become more like myself again. I looked up at the trees as they swirled overhead in a gust of spring air, distracting me for a moment. Next, I would build myself a suitable camp, something with all the comforts of home.
A sneer grew across my face, thinking of how lucky I was to be a part of Elle’s life and her grand existence. If it wasn’t for the prophecies, I would have been killed and thrown away by the gods like a lump of trash–useless as Matthew was. Elle and I had worked hard to nurture the strength she needed to combat her fate, and luckily for me, her years spent alone and gone had granted me the time to hatch a plan for the future.
I tried again to tuck my wings into the bones of my back, succeeding as I felt each feather being sucked in and under my skin like an old Chinese fan, now resting along the length of my spine on either side. The corners of my mouth curled, finally content that I had achieved the feat, and relieved the wings were gone—at least for now. I cracked my neck, feeling as though something was out of alignment, but figuring I had a lot of time to practice.
I looked at a nearby tree, feeling it stare down on me with both fear and hope. The whole forest felt anxious, and it should. They knew what was coming. A smell of trepidation was secreting from their very shell, filling the air with a sour mist. Other than the sounds of the fire, I also noticed the stagnation. It was as though every animal also knew—
also tried to hide, but there was nothing they could do, and nowhere they could run that would be safe.
The long journey was finally over, and we had arrived at the end. All we had worked for was now coming to pass. When I look back, I see that everything had its purpose—all those years I spent alone, all the time Elle spent in darkness and sleep. Elle had been groomed by a force even the god’s could not understand, so there was no one we could look to but her. What was coming was unstoppable, inevitable and sealed. Only one could fix this, but only she could decide whether it was worth fixing.
Though Elle’s fate was to be this chosen one, she still held the option to choose, and that’s what the gods feared most. Her fate did not include an ending because it was undecided, but it made no matter to me. I found that not knowing the end was what I preferred. If I knew we would die, then why try—why hope? No matter what her decisions, I would stand by her, revel in the fact that she was my other half: the great one, the one.
I dropped my head into my hands, running my fingers through my hair and locking my hands behind my neck. The dirt below my feet seemed to teem with power, the whole world of Heaven in an uproar. It was times like this that I admired our race, the human race. For as smart as they claimed to be, they were still too involved with their lives to notice what was coming. I knew that they would be the last to sense the end, and I found it relieving. At least this way they wouldn’t waste days with worry and fear, or at least not over this.
I felt my limbs tingle with a familiar emotion. Envy, the sweetest feeling, and one I seemed to wallow in like an endless abyss. Who was I kidding? Of course I wished that I were the one and not Elle, but it was never meant for me. That kind of responsibility could never be trusted to a heart like mine, corrupt and black, all but for one small piece that belonged to her. I struggled with this feeling all my life—knowing that I was less of a being—allowing Elle to prosper. It was this emotion that made holding myself back hard. Envy was powerful and bitter, a feeling that all the other ravens never had to deal with, but in this I knew I was stronger than them.