Douglas let out one of those whimpers, meaning he wanted to come, would do whatever it took to beg, bargain, plead with him to let him come. “Blood of your blood,” he gasped. “Flesh of your flesh.”
Connor rolled to the side so he could still keep his boy’s hands pinned and reach down and stroke his cock for him. “Say it.”
He thought the man’s eyes were going to roll back in his head as he slowly jacked his cock for him. “Praise Master, from whom all orgasms flow. Praise Master, whom I do blow. Praise Master, above all, for every stroke fast or slow. Praise Master, Sir, Connor—Amen.”
The Cockxology. Another profane entry in the Book of Connor.
Connor stroked him harder, faster, loving it when Douglas tipped over the edge, every pump filling his hand with the man’s cum.
He painted his boy’s lips and face with it, then leaned in to kiss him again, licking him clean, enjoying this sweet communion that hadn’t happened in too damn long.
The few times Douglas’ family had dragged him to church with them—usually to take Communion—Connor was always sure to re-stake his claim on his boy’s soul as soon as he could get a few minutes alone with him.
“Amen,” Connor whispered. “I’ve never had another man here at the house. I always went to their place, or a hotel. I couldn’t bear to bring them here.”
Douglas stroked his cheek. “You were always with me in my heart. There wasn’t a day that went by I didn’t think about you. I love you, and I’m not going anywhere.”
“Love you, too.”
They finally dragged themselves out of bed to clean up, pull on sleeping shorts, and unlock the bedroom door. Then, Connor lay on his left side on the right side of the bed, his back to the bedroom door, with Douglas tucked against him, their bodies molded together, their fingers laced, Douglas’ head resting on Connor’s arm.
And nestled together like that, Connor had the first damn good night’s sleep he’d had in over twenty years.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Douglas awoke with a start before dawn, disoriented and unable to figure out why he felt a very large, warm, hard—
Connor!
He moved carefully so as not to awaken him, but tipped his head back to look.
To verify this wasn’t a dream.
“Good morning,” Connor rumbled without opening his eyes, but his arm tightened around Douglas’ waist.
His pulse raced at the sound. “Good morning, Master.”
Connor sucked in a sharp breath. “Fuck, yeah,” he muttered. His lips, then his teeth closed on Douglas’ shoulder, biting down until Douglas’ cock was throbbing and he ground his ass back against Connor.
Douglas found himself rolled over onto his stomach, Connor’s weight pressing him into the mattress. Then Connor yanked Douglas’ shorts down and off him.
Beneath him, Douglas’ cock, now fully erect and throbbing, rubbed against the sheets.
“Stay.”
Douglas wouldn’t have moved if his life depended on it when Connor’s weight disappeared.
He heard Connor open a nightstand drawer, then return, Connor’s fingers probing between his ass cheeks.
Douglas spread his thighs and arched his back to stick his ass out.
“Good boy.”
Douglas closed his eyes, unable to stop smiling. “Chapter 1, Verse 3.”
Lube-slick fingers probed his ass, quickly replaced by the thick head of Connor’s cock. “My perfect boy.”
Douglas hissed as Connor thrust home, his ass needing a moment to adjust to the intrusion even after yesterday’s interlude.
Connor’s body covered him, then he rolled onto his side, taking Douglas with him. Connor’s hand closed around his cock. “Chapter 2, Verse 2.”
Douglas shivered. “Master chooses when, where, and how his boy finds joy.”
Connor’s hand stroked harder, faster, even as he remained still behind Douglas with his cock fully buried inside him. “Verse 3.”
“Boy will come when Master orders.”
“Then do it.”
Douglas’ eyes closed and he rocked himself back and forth, between Connor’s hand and his cock, shifting slightly, rolling back toward Connor and finding a better angle that made him gasp and moan as Connor’s cock hit the perfect spot inside him with every stroke.
Connor’s other arm hooked around Douglas’ chest, keeping him pressed against the length of Connor’s body. “You always were a perfect, beautiful slut for me, baby.” He kissed his way down the side of Douglas’ neck and bit the top of his shoulder, sucking hard and triggering Douglas’ climax.
Like he’d spent years in isolation—which, of course, he had, in a way—and was rediscovering sex.
Because while Mackie had been beautiful and a joy and he’d loved her, she hadn’t been his Master.
She hadn’t been Connor.
“Thank you, Master,” he gasped.
Connor gave him a few seconds for white-hot pleasure to spiral through Douglas’ cock as he came all over Connor’s hand before he rolled him onto his front again and started fucking him.
This wasn’t the tender lovemaking of yesterday, either. Nothing playful or sweet about any of it.
It was also exactly what Douglas needed.
His hands fisted the sheets as Connor fucked him, holding on to his hips and plowing him.
“Chapter 3, Verse 1.”
Douglas could barely think, so it took him a second to gather brain cells to respond. “The boy is Master’s cherished fucktoy and will happily take every load Master gives him, and give thanks for it.”
Connor’s fingers dug in hard and deep, until he took one last thrust and fell still with his cock buried deep inside Douglas.
In the dark, quiet room, the sound of Connor’s breath filled Douglas’ ears.
Connor’s lips feathered across the nape of Douglas’ neck. “I love you, boy,” he whispered. “Welcome home.”
He hooked his foot around Connor’s. “Thank you, Master. I love you, too. I’m glad to finally be where I belong.”
And he was going to love going to work and feeling his deliciously aching ass all morning, too.
* * * *
Despite the early hour, Connor headed out to start their coffee while Douglas climbed into the shower. When Connor returned and joined him there, he pulled Douglas in for a long, tight hug, the water beating on them and Connor’s ragged breath the only sounds for many long minutes.
“I missed you so fucking much,” Connor hoarsely whispered in his ear. “I never trusted anyone the way I trust you.”
They finally stepped apart after a long, sweet kiss and took their shower. It was still earlier than they needed to start their day, but Douglas didn’t mind.
It was time well-spent between them.
He was pulling clothes out of his suitcase to put on when he heard Zee start to fuss on the baby monitor. Connor, who’d gotten as far as his khakis but was still shirtless, patted him on the shoulder on his way out of the room.
“I’ve got her.”
Douglas grabbed clothes and started pulling them on, was still going to help when he heard Connor’s voice on the baby monitor.
“There’s Daddy’s little angel! Good morning, Sunshine.”
Douglas froze, listening.
“Oooh, someone needs a diaper. Let’s get you changed and Daddy will make you a bottle.”
Douglas slumped onto the edge of the bed, rapt, listening as Connor baby-talked to her while he changed her, his voice fading from the monitor when he left her room and carried her down the hallway.
He blinked back tears, realizing how much he’d missed of Connor’s life already. Missed seeing the man he loved becoming a father, raising his daughter—
Everything he’d missed.
I can’t take it back, but I can spend the rest of our lives together proving to him I mean every word I’ve said to him.
He pulled his clothes on and headed out, finding him sitting on the couch with Zee tucked in one arm, a
gainst his bare chest, the radiant, beaming devotion and love filling his face nearly driving Douglas to tears.
Douglas walked over and dropped to his knees in front of him, looking up at him.
“We had to bottle-feed Kayleigh from the start. I miss this with her,” Connor softly admitted, his gaze never leaving Zee’s face. “I know she’s got to grow up, but I never resented having to get up in the middle of the night for feedings. Karlie couldn’t breastfeed her because of the painkillers they put her on for her shoulder before and after the surgery. She really couldn’t even hold her. Couldn’t lift her, couldn’t carry her. I did most of the work, especially after Karlie’s surgery. I always felt…connected to Kayleigh when feeding her. I always wanted Kayleigh to feel safe and loved. Even if I was sleep-deprived and exhausted, I always made sure I gave thanks for her when I sat and fed her.”
Douglas wondered if Connor even realized what he’d said, or that there was still a glimmer of that kind of spirit residing in his soul.
“I worried about that,” Douglas admitted. “Bottle-feeding. The nurses at the hospital assured me Zee would still thrive on formula. I was…a wreck.” He harshly laughed. “Not was, still am, actually. I’m still trying to process that I actually made another human being, and they trusted me enough to turn me loose with her. I feel completely overwhelmed and underprepared despite all the books I read and the classes we attended before she was born.”
Connor finally focused on him for a moment before his gaze returned to Zee’s face. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.”
He rested his chin on Connor’s knee and stared up at him. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here for you, either.”
A smile curved Connor’s lips. “I get to teach you about being a father, Father.”
“I guess you do.”
“Rule one—always keep a spare shirt and extra burp rags in the car.” His smile widened. “Ask me how I know.”
“How do you know?”
“I took her to work with me all the time, because I have an office inside the main building. Quiet and air-conditioned, just off the showroom. I used one of those sling pouches to carry her around when she was a newborn. One of the receptionists would always hold her for me when I needed to go out to the service bays, and since I’ve been there so long, my bosses were really understanding and bent over backward for me. Especially considering the circumstances.
“I was feeding her right before I was supposed to meet with a repeat customer who was looking to upgrade their ride, and I hadn’t brought an extra shirt, and stupidly didn’t use a burp rag. All over me. I had to borrow a spare work shirt from one of the parts counter guys. Learned my lesson. Fortunately, the customer had eight grandkids and thought Kayleigh was beautiful, so she sold the car for me.” He smiled. “I got credit for the commission, though.”
Douglas chuckled. “Point taken. I should take one to work with me.”
“Yes, you should.” Connor’s gaze focused on him again. “Did they tell you about kangaroo care?” Back to Zee.
“Yes, Sir. I’ve been doing that every morning and night. During the day, too, when we weren’t driving. Before I got down here.”
“Good boy.” Connor nuzzled the top of her head, inhaling. “I love baby smell. Um, clean baby smell.” He smiled. “Not poopy-diaper smell.”
“I knew what you meant, Sir.”
Connor started to say something, choked up, sniffled, then blinked a few times. “I’m not glad you lost her,” he whispered, “but thank you for giving me another baby. I hope that doesn’t make me sound horrible.”
He squeezed Connor’s thigh. “No, Sir. It doesn’t. I understand.”
“I guess in some ways I’m glad I didn’t know what a train wreck Karlie really was before I agreed to be her donor. I thought she had her act together.”
“Where did you meet her?”
“She was the dealership’s CFO. Accounting degree, put-together, the whole nine yards. She didn’t have a boyfriend, was single, and was thirty-five when she talked to me about it. I’d known her for over ten years. I mean, seriously, I thought I knew her.”
“How’d she hurt her shoulder?”
Connor sighed. “She was four and a half months pregnant and fell off a ladder while trying to change a damn lightbulb I told her I’d change for her the next day. It was in a vaulted ceiling, two-story foyer, and she literally missed falling off the second floor by inches. She hit the railing first and luckily bounced toward the hallway, not over the side. Right shoulder, arm, ribs. Spent a couple of days in the hospital. She could barely move it, at first. Fractured the joint and ripped a couple of tendons. Had to go on disability, because she couldn’t drive, much less work. Ended up losing her job, because she couldn’t work. That was a nightmare. She ran through her savings trying to pay the COBRA premiums, and things spiraled out of control for her.”
He sadly shook his head. “I didn’t know she’d had addiction problems in high school. She didn’t admit that to me until later. Or that her whole family history is filled with drunks and addicts. I just thought she’d had a rough childhood and put herself through school, right? Another reason we got along so well together, because we had that whole ‘by the bootstraps’ vibe in common.”
“What about the boyfriend?”
“She moved him in with her as a roommate to help pay the mortgage on her condo. I met him and thought okay, seems like a nice guy, she’s smart enough to make safe choices, right?”
“But she wasn’t.”
“I found that out literally the day after Kayleigh was born. They were giving her pain meds to help with her shoulder, but he was also bringing her Oxy and other stuff. I just didn’t know it at the time. Here I saw him handing her meds, I thought he was being considerate and helping take care of her. I thought they were meds the hospital was giving her. I didn’t know it was illegal drugs or I would have reported it then.
“The only point I’ll concede to Karlie is she waited until after Kayleigh was born to let her Dumpster fire blaze out of control. There were no drugs in Kayleigh’s system when she was born. I guess that’s a standard blood panel they run now on newborns. But from that point on, it was like Karlie didn’t even try. Also explains why she didn’t even want to try to breastfeed Kayleigh when she was born.
“She admitted to me when I filed the emergency motion for full custody that she probably had no business being a mom, and she confessed everything to me then. I demanded she sign over parental rights, in exchange I’d pay her attorney retainer, and she agreed.” Dark shadows furrowed his brow as he scowled. “I cashed in part of my 401(k) to frickin’ do it, too. Stupid bit-witch.”
Connor took a deep breath. “I should be given a frickin’ medal for not punching that guy out when I showed up at Karlie’s to get Kayleigh. I’d left her there that day because I went in to work, knew I was going to have a rough day, and I got a call from a sheriff’s detective at noon telling me I had thirty minutes to get there or they were handing Kayleigh over to a DCF worker, and I’d have to go to an emergency hearing to regain custody of her. Guy was handcuffed and sitting on the curb outside and I swear, if it hadn’t been for Kayleigh, I’d be in jail right now.”
Douglas could see all of that happening, too.
“He had several outstanding warrants against him, fortunately none of them sexual crimes, but he did have one for domestic battery against his ex-girlfriend.”
“Karlie didn’t know?”
“She claims she didn’t, but honestly, I don’t even know anymore. Sure don’t care, either.” He sighed. “All I care about is that, from that point on, I never let anyone near Kayleigh unless I was sure about them first. So my already mostly non-existent dating life literally disappeared. My previous sitter was the wife of one of the guys from work. Older woman, some minor health problems, but most everyone there at the dealership, who’d been there for a long time and had kids, had used her as a sitter at some point. Cash under the table kind of thing. Their hous
e was spotless. Such a sweet woman.
“Broke my heart when she had her stroke, but by then, fortunately, I’d made friends in the Suncoast Society and had people I could trust here and there to watch her for me for an overnight or even a weekend. Then Niall and Aden reunited, Niall married Etsu, and they ordered her to stop working because of her asthma. So she volunteered when she heard about me losing my sitter.”
“I really like them.”
“Me, too.”
While Connor enjoyed his baby time, Douglas took over getting Kayleigh awake and moving, including breakfast. She watched him as he made the sign of the cross and clasped his hands as he silently said grace over his bowl of cereal.
“Whas dat?”
Connor had just walked into the kitchen, Zee in his arms.
“What’s what?” Douglas asked.
“What you jus’ did.”
“It’s called ‘the sign of the cross,’” Connor said, sounding weary but not upset. “You make it before saying grace over your meal. Papa’s Catholic.”
“Was,” Douglas risked contradicting.
She cocked her head and looked at Connor, wrinkling her tiny nose at him. “Whas dat mean?”
“What’s what mean, Princess?” Douglas asked.
“Gwace. Whas dat?”
“It’s saying thanks for your food,” Connor said. “Like we talk every night before bed what we’re grateful for, it’s a way to say you’re thankful for having food.”
She stared up at Connor, her face now scrunched up in concentration and damned if Douglas couldn’t see a young Connor in her expression again. “Why don’ we do dat?”
“I sometimes do,” Connor admitted. “In my head.”
That revelation pleasantly surprised Douglas, but he didn’t interrupt.
“You don’ make me do dat.”
Connor’s whole body language changed, shifted, as he leaned in with Zee still tucked against him. “I will never make you do anything like that. If you want to do it, that’s fine. It’s never okay to make someone do that.”
Douglas totally appreciated the irony in a way he couldn’t have when they were teenagers. Yeah, there were a lot of things Connor had “made” him do in the past, and would certainly “make” him do over the course of their life together, but even the things he didn’t necessarily want to do, he would do them when Connor asked them of him.
Come in From the Cold Page 19