Douglas continued grinding against him, and at this angle his cock was sliding along his sweet spot and stirring renewed interest in Connor’s cock.
“I had two asshole older brothers,” Douglas said. “And I felt like I was a worthless shit. Here I was, a Catholic boy who liked other boys way more than I liked girls. I was never good enough in my parents’ eyes. Only you and your mom made me feel like I was really loved. I never knew true, unconditional love until you moved into my life.”
Connor kissed him, sucking his lower lip. “I fell in love with you when we moved in. That first day you came over. I was terrified you wouldn’t like me.”
“I was sure my brothers would be jerks and chase you away.”
Douglas ended up on top of him, still fucking him. Connor had desperately missed this, missed being able to let go sometimes, to trust someone.
To bottom to someone he knew had no agenda besides loving him.
Beads of sweat formed on Douglas’ forehead and dripped into Connor’s face as he settled into a new rhythm and sweetly fucked him. It always took Douglas longer to get over like this, when he was fucking Connor.
Which Connor wouldn’t deny he enjoyed, both the feeling of his boy’s cock fucking him, and the slightly sadistic knowledge that his boy struggled somewhat with this. So he reached up and raked his nails down Douglas’ back, digging in, making his boy wince, but also gasp, speed up, a low, sweet moan rolling from him as he hit the point of no return. Connor felt his boy’s cock pulsing inside his ass as he finally fell still, catching his breath, sated.
Connor wrapped his arms and legs around him, pulling him down again and holding him close. “You going to be able to put up with me for life?”
“Damn right, I will,” he muttered against Connor’s neck. He licked, nipped…bit.
“Oooh, naughty boy.”
Douglas chuckled. “Need to start working on my next punishment. And sometimes I want to mark you.”
They finally rolled out of bed and headed for the shower. There, Douglas held out his left hand, over Connor’s, their rings together. “I wish your mom was still alive to see this,” he said.
“Me, too, baby. She would have been happy for us.” He held Douglas, pulling him close. “When are we telling your parents?”
“Why?”
“Because they’re your parents.”
“I don’t care. All they cared about was having a priest in the family. You’d think they thought I was their golden ticket to Heaven or something. Fuck ’em.”
“Do they know about Zee?”
“Nope. They basically disowned me when I told them I was leaving the priesthood. Fuck. Them.”
“Neither of your brothers live nearby?”
“Ed’s over in Orlando, I think. Larry moved up to Georgia to be near Mom and Dad about a year after they moved.”
“They’re not getting any younger.”
“Connor. I’m not calling my parents.”
“Okay, okay.” He let Douglas pull away to step under the spray and wet his hair. “I’m thinking of the girls. They don’t have grandparents.”
“They won’t even with them. Doyle, Niall, Aden, and Etsu are closer family than blood family. I’d rather have them, anyway. At least I know our girls will learn what real family values look like.”
He turned his back to Connor as he shampooed his hair. “Standing by your friends. Lending a hand. Being there. Not being judgmental. Accepting differences. My parents were eager to have a priest in the family, but they weren’t very damned eager to try to live a truly Christ-like life. When I did the loving and selfless thing, they turned on me. No thanks.”
Douglas rinsed his hair. “I want to add you to my Facebook profile as my husband.”
“Let’s wait on that.”
“Why?”
“Because you just posted about Mackie barely a week ago. Let’s let the month go by that you told people you’d wait before deleting her profile. Then add me.”
“You honestly care what a bunch of people you’ve never met think?”
“About you? Fucking absolutely, I do. You’re my husband, and I don’t want anyone thinking badly of you. Baby, I love you. She loved you. Because of her, I have Zee. I’m good with this. You’re wearing my ring, and that’s all I need right now. Please?”
“Okay,” Douglas finally muttered.
“Thank you, baby.” He lightly smacked his ass, which was turning gorgeous shades of purple and green over his bruises from Saturday night.
But it finally earned Connor a smile. “You’re right—I am an absolute slut for you. I always have been.”
“Wouldn’t want you any other way, baby.”
Chapter Thirty-Two
Over the next two weeks, Douglas found himself quickly slipping into an almost perfectly comfortable life. Like it had been waiting all along for him to discover it and slide right into place.
He still struggled with guilt over Mackie—ironically because of that very ease in which his new life seemed to be steeped in. But Niall and Doyle were both working with him as their schedules allowed. Plus, Connor was seeing Niall once a week as a counsellor, with Douglas stipulating that whatever they talked about was between them. If Connor wanted to tell Douglas, that was Connor’s business, but he wouldn’t pry.
With so many emotionally charged points there to flare up, they both needed safe spaces to talk away from each other.
It would only make them stronger.
Connor was an amazing dad, and yeah, taught Douglas so much that even though the parenting books Douglas had devoured before Zee’s birth discussed different topics, nothing was as good as in-person experience.
Kayleigh seemed to take it on faith that Douglas was her new dad with no other questions about her mom. She was just happy to have a new little sister.
And life moved on. It moved on so easily that Douglas was almost waiting for another shoe to drop despite Connor’s sweetly optimistic certainty that this was the rest of their lives, aside from whatever mundane, normal issues cropped up.
The psychologist and submissive man desperately wanted that to be true, while the experienced priest wasn’t so sure…
That Monday morning, Douglas led a group session, worked on reports, and then met with Anna Williams as his first one-on-one at eleven, right before lunch. The day was already dragging along slower than shit, because tonight he was supposed to go out to dinner with Connor before they picked up the girls from Etsu a little later than usual. It was date night for them, adults only, something Niall had insisted on doing for them, going so far as to “prescribe” it for them. Just a couple of hours alone, the two of them, able to be newlywed husbands not having to watch what they said around the girls.
This was his third meeting with Anna, having slotted her into Mondays for her regular appointments after the first one. He suspected she’d need the extra support following weekends, and his calendar was rapidly filling as they shifted more clients to him, both new and existing ones. She could also e-mail or call him if necessary, but had yet to take advantage of those avenues of contact.
That Monday, particularly, she acted even more subdued than usual.
“How was your weekend?” he started when she seemed at a loss for words once they’d settled into the comfortable chairs he used for sessions. The portfolio holding his yellow legal pad that he took notes on rested on his knee, his pen on top of it.
She sadly smiled. “I talked to my aunt yesterday. She sent me a cell phone so she could call me.”
“Oh? That’s good.”
“It’s just a cheap one but it’s more than I had.” He let her pause fill the room. “She’s already got my life planned for me when I move there. And we don’t even know yet if or when I’ll be able to move.”
“It’s good to have a plan. To have healthy goals.”
“I’m really trying to take this one day at a time, like my sponsor keeps telling me, but it’s not easy.”
“Have you used?”
&nb
sp; She shook her head. “No. Even if I wanted to, I don’t have the money for it. I go to my job, I go back to the halfway house, I go to meetings, and I come here.”
“Those sound like solid steps. A healthy routine.”
She nodded but started crying. He picked up the tissue box on the little table between them and handed it to her. It would do no good to ask her why she was crying if she wasn’t ready to talk yet. Sometimes, what people needed most was to be heard, not talked at. Sitting in the confessional booth had taught him that much. Especially in these early sessions when he was still getting to know her.
Finally she composed herself. “Sorry.”
“Like I told you at the start of our sessions, you don’t have to apologize to me. All you need to do is be honest. I’m here for you.”
“I just…I realized I hope my daughter doesn’t ever have to go through this shit.”
He reached for his pen. “Daughter?” That wasn’t in her case file. He was told she didn’t have children.
“Yeah. I haven’t seen her since she was a couple of months old. The day I was arrested. I wish I could see her one more time before I move. I know her dad’s taking good care of her, but just to see her, you know?”
He was looking down at his notepad, writing that down. “How old is she now?”
“Just turned three.”
Douglas froze, the priest stepping up, taking full control right now and able to hide his thoughts because the psychologist was totally blindsided and unsure what to do. He slowly looked up at her. Fortunately, her focus was on the sodden tissue in her hand. “Where is she now?”
“I signed custody of her over to Connor, her father. Biological father.”
Motherfucker.
“Connor?”
“Yeah. He was a good friend of mine and…” She sadly laughed and looked up at him. “He’s gay. He was a really good guy, knew him from work. I decided I had managed to finally ditch my family’s druggie curse, right? I decided to go IVF, and asked Connor to donate. He wanted to be a dad. We were going to raise her together. I was going to be a kick-ass mom.” Her smile faded. “Turns out I’m no better than anyone else in my family.”
Oh, shit shit shit!
“Ironically, he’s got the same last name as you—”
“Wait right here for me, please.” Douglas was up and moving before he even realized it. “I’ll be back in a few minutes. I need to take care of something.”
Shit shit shit!
Doyle was in his office just down the hall from Douglas’, and the door stood open. Doyle was alone, head bent over his laptop, and not on the phone. He looked up at Douglas’ arrival. “What’s up?”
Douglas toed the doorstop and let the door swing shut behind him. “I have a serious fucking problem,” he softly said.
Doyle sat back and listened, his expression growing grim as Douglas told him.
“Well, fuck,” Doyle said. He pulled up his schedule and glanced through it. “I’m here for two months before I leave again for Mal’s next tour, so I can take her temporarily. We really need to move her to someone else, though. Someone who doesn’t know Connor.” He picked up his office line. “Who’s her caseworker?”
“Helen.”
“Okay.” He dialed her extension, and fortunately, she was in. She hustled over in record time, and agreed Douglas had to hand her case over to Doyle, and that she’d take care of calling the parole officer and updating them. With that settled, the three of them returned to Douglas’ office.
Anna looked confused by Doyle and Helen’s presence. “What’s going on?”
Douglas didn’t bother sitting. “I’m afraid there is a very large conflict of interest for me that I wasn’t aware of. Your case file didn’t mention any children.”
“I didn’t think I had to. My parole officer said since I don’t have custody of her or contact with her that I didn’t need to list her. I signed away my parental rights to her dad.”
“See, that’s the problem. I’m Connor’s husband. Kayleigh’s my step-daughter. I thought your name was Karlie.”
“That’s my middle name. I…I got so used to going by Anna in jail I didn’t bother…you’re her step-father?”
Doyle and Helen took over from that point, finally getting her up and out of his office and over to Doyle’s.
Oh, fuck fuck fuck.
Once the office door swung shut behind them, Douglas slumped into his chair behind his desk.
Submissive hubby wanted to call Connor immediately and update him.
Both the priest and the psychologist jumped on top of him and wrestled him to the ground, where they weren’t going to budge an inch.
Fuck.
* * * *
Doyle knocked on his door a while later and let it swing shut after Douglas had called for him to come in.
He walked over and sat in one of the chairs in front of his desk. “So. That was…awkward.”
“I’m sorry I had to dump her on you like that.”
“No, it’s okay. I’m the only one who really can take her right now. I mean, Niall could, but that’s really a conflict of interest. I might have…fibbed and not let on I’m as close to Connor as I am. Not fibbed, technically. Omitted.”
“That’s not ethical.”
“And yet, I’m still doing it. Mainly because I’ve already told her and Helen that I’ve got another leave scheduled and can’t take her long-term. We’re going to transfer her to someone else two Mondays from now. Three different counsellors have openings then. If Anna hasn’t moved by the time her one-on-ones end, she’ll get shuffled into Bill Ebbe’s group, and then she’s doubly not my problem.” He eyed Douglas. “So.”
“I was a priest for fifteen years. I can keep a damn secret.”
He slowly nodded. “I didn’t mean to cast aspersions on your dedication to confidentiality, but…reasons.”
“I have to tell him about this, but I won’t tell him details.”
“No, this is more complicated than that.” He steepled his fingers in front of him. “She wants to see Kayleigh.”
“Um, no.”
“Hear me out.”
“I can tell you what Connor’s going to say, and that was a lot less profane than how he’ll say it.”
“Her aunt filed the paperwork with Anna’s parole officer yesterday to start the petition process to transfer her jurisdiction. I just got off the phone with her. The parole officer, that is. They haven’t even told Anna yet. All the parole officer wants is to see another three weeks of clean drug tests, and she said she’ll hand-walk the application to the judge her damn self. Three weeks. That’s it.”
“It’s not a done-deal.”
“No, it’s not. But it’s looking pretty certain.”
“Connor will never allow her to see Kayleigh.”
“She’s willing to have it here, supervised. She just wants to spend a couple of hours with her, that’s all.”
“He’ll never go for it. What happens if she spends that time with her and wants to try to challenge for custody? We’re filing the adoption paperwork next week!”
Doyle sighed. “She doesn’t want custody. She only wants to see her. The aunt already told her if she tries to take custody back from Connor, then the deal is off, she’s on her own. Apparently, she’s Anna’s mother’s older half-sister. Different mothers. No history of addiction with her section of the family. She even says Anna isn’t capable of raising a child, based on her family’s history and Anna’s own past. I didn’t get into everything, because it sounded like an episode of Jerry Springer, but…it’s bad. And there’s a history of sex abuse that hadn’t been disclosed, either. The aunt doesn’t want Kayleigh anywhere near the rest of Anna’s bio-family.”
“Fuck.”
“Exactly.” Doyle leaned forward. “Of course Connor can say no. But…in this case, I think it would be kinder to let it happen. One visit. All she wants is to see that Kayleigh’s healthy and happy and put her mind at ease that she’s made the
right decision to let her go. That’s it. Closure. She just wants closure.”
The priest and the psychologist were in agreement it should happen, and were still sitting on the submissive husband, who wanted to get up and scream hell fucking no.
“He won’t say yes.”
Doyle arched an eyebrow at him. “I think you and I both know you can talk him into it.”
“Why don’t you talk him into it?”
“Because I’m not sucking the man’s cock.” He smirked. “Don’t give me that nonsense, you can’t tell him what to do, because you and I both know that’s bullshit. You’re his husband and his slave. He will turn himself inside out to make you happy.”
“This does not make me happy.”
“But you can convince him it’s the right thing to do. For Kayleigh and for Anna.”
“Frankly, he wouldn’t piss on Anna if she was on fire.”
“I know. But he will do anything he has to to be a good father.”
“Kayleigh doesn’t even remember her.”
“I know. But…try. Please? I’d like to schedule it for next Monday. I have the whole afternoon free. We can have the meeting and then I can bring her in for her session to talk about it.”
“What if she tries something?”
“Niall and I can be in there with her. Kayleigh knows Niall, and Anna doesn’t. You guys can stand outside or something. We’ll use the conference room next to my office. This isn’t unusual, for us to bring family in. You know that.”
“It is when it’s a toddler who doesn’t know the parent, and the parent doesn’t even have parental rights anymore.”
Doyle grimaced. “Look, this is between you and me. I’ve had run-ins with one of the directors at the halfway house before. Dedicated woman, but an Evangelical Christian. I’m talking one of those kinds of deep-water Southern Baptists who wants to burn rainbow flags, if you catch my drift? If Anna was to start talking about this around her and making waves about it, I would not put it past that bitch to take it upon herself to turn Anna into a personal cause and cause you two trouble by trying to raise funds for Anna to fight for restoration of her parental rights.”
Come in From the Cold Page 27