Moore to Lose

by Julie A. Richman

  With a nod she was off.

  Mia Silver could not get out of there fast enough.

  Chapter Eleven

  “Ok, that’s the last of the changes.” Mia said into the phone.

  “I’m really sorry I’m making you do this alone again.” Rob had just recovered from a coughing fit. “I can still meet you there.”

  “Ugh, no. And get me sick. I don’t want to be anywhere near all that nasty snot running out of you. Tonight will be easy. I’ll turn this in and we’ll go over what he wants for the next assignment. It’ll be cake tonight, he’s not critiquing anything new.”

  Mia took off for the Student Center feeling anxious about seeing Tom all alone again. When had it all changed, she wondered. All those great chats they had on Saturdays in the little bakery this past fall were never anxiety producing. And now, she was off to meet him for class and her stomach was all jumbled — a concoction of excitement and dread all rolled up.

  He was standing outside the Student Center when she approached. “Ryan still sick?”

  Mia nodded, “Yeah, he’s got it bad.”

  Tom’s hand was immediately on Mia’s lower back turning her away from the building, “I just got out of a department meeting and haven’t eaten yet. Have you eaten?”

  She nodded again.

  “So, have some dessert or something,” He added, removing his hand.

  Mia could still feel its warmth in her physical memory and it felt good. She wanted him to touch her again.

  Looking up at him, she smiled. “What are you smiling at?” Tom was now smiling back at Mia.

  “I’m imagining you being bored shitless listening to some of those old windbags in a department meeting.”

  Tom’s laugh was hearty, “Were you a fly on the wall? Here, let’s go here.” Steering her into an Indian restaurant, his hand once again on the small of her back.

  Mia was dying to let out an “mmmm” sound.

  “Do you like Indian food?”

  “I love it. I just wish I were hungrier.”

  “Just pick at mine.” They sat down at a corner table. The heady, exotic smells of garam masala, curry and cardamom laying heavy in the air.

  “Two Kingfishers.” Tom told the waiter as he ordered too much food — Samosas, Rogan Josh, Sag Paneer, Chicken Korma and Naan.

  The waiter returned with two ice cold bottles of beer. “Need a glass?” Tom gestured to Mia.

  “Definitely not.”

  “That’s my girl.” His lips were smiling, but his eyes were smoldering.

  My girl? Mia took a deep breath. She felt those two words deeply. She felt them tingle through her body and wished she wasn’t so damn horny. She had not slept with anyone her entire sophomore year. She hadn’t kissed anyone her entire sophomore year. “I add new meaning to the phrase ‘Sophomore Slump’,” she mused.

  She could feel the icy cold beer cooling her throat and fueling her confidence. She sat back in her chair, beer in hand and just regarded him, wondering what it would be like with him.

  “Do not look at me like that.”

  Mia giggled, nervously, “Like what?”

  “Like that look you were just giving me, Mia.”

  The waiter brought the Samosas and Pappadam to the table along with several chutneys.

  Mia reached for the Pappadam in the basket and broke off a piece of the crispy lentil cracker. She spooned some of the lush tamarind sauce onto her plate from the chutney tray and proceeded to break the cracker into little bits and drag it through the sauce, making ruby red patterns.

  Looking up from her plate, she posed the question, “So, you’re the only one allowed to dole out looks?”

  “So, you’ve noticed?”

  Mia practically spit out her Pappadam and started to cough. She grabbed her beer to wash the cracker down. Tom was laughing.

  “You are such a dog.”

  “I could fail you for comments like that, you know.” He was nailing her with “the look.”

  “And I could bring you up to the Academic Review Board for sexual harassment.”

  “Have I harassed you?” He dipped his Samosa in mint chutney and took a bite, his eyes never leaving Mia’s face.

  “Not yet,” she shot back.

  “I would never harass you. I respect you too much.”

  “Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Mia made a face at him.

  He shook his head and laughed, “That is exactly what I like about you, Mia. You are so fucking real,” and his tone became serious, “I need more real people in my life.”

  “So, the others aren’t real with you?” Mia was leaning forward on the table — she wanted all the dirt.

  “What others?” Tom finished his beer and signaled the waiter to bring them both another bottle.

  “C’mon, you’re like sleeping with half the class.” There — it was out. She had just thrown it out — the big unspoken secret. If that didn’t get her a failing grade, then she was home free.

  Tom closed his eyes and shook his head, “Would you believe me if I told you that I have not had sex this semester?”

  Mia shook her head, “Nope. Would not believe you.”

  Tom laughed, “Sad, but true. I haven’t slept with anyone in months.”

  “Then you must be incredibly horny.” She slammed him with her devil smile.

  “That … is a fucking understatement,” and they both laughed as the food arrived.

  Tom was ravenous, piling his plate high and voraciously attacking it.

  “So, what happened to Sherri and Jacqueline?”

  Choking on his food, Tom was momentarily stunned. “Was it that obvious?”

  “Oh please.” Mia rolled her eyes. “Talk about fucking understatements.” She reached over with her fork and plucked a piece of chicken out of the Korma sauce on his plate.

  “Ancient history. Jacqueline’s not even in the class anymore.”

  “Wow. Ran the bitch off, eh?”

  Tom couldn’t help but smile at Mia’s bodacious personality. “You know what I love about you? I can just hang with you. You’re so damn amusing.”

  “When I so choose to be.” Mia killed her second beer and Tom signaled the waiter for a third. She was picking off his plate again. This time lamb chunks out of the Rogan Josh.

  “You can make yourself your own plate,” he offered.

  “Yeah I know, but I don’t want to,” and she continued to pick at his dinner while he watched her with a most amused smile, loving the intimate act of sharing one meal.

  It was after 10 P.M. when they got up to leave the restaurant. “Let me walk you back to your dorm. It’s late.”

  Tom’s hand was at her lower back as they exited the restaurant. She was more than a little buzzed from three Kingfishers and the cool night air on her face felt revitalizing. As they walked toward campus, his hand moved slowly up her back until it was around her shoulder. Mia momentarily closed her eyes. It felt so good. That human contact. It felt good. It wasn’t until that moment, that she realized just how much she had missed it. How much she longed for it. She leaned into Tom and his arm tightened around her. The pressure of his arm around her back and his hand on her shoulder sent shock waves throughout her whole body. It felt so good, but evoked a sadness because she knew that in that one small act of leaning her body into Tom’s, she was finally saying goodbye to Schooner, and those fingertips were moving farther away from her, disappearing into the dark night. “It’s time for me to let you go,” she told him in her head and silently prayed that Tom’s kiss (which she knew was coming) would lighten the heaviness in her heart. And with a silent goodbye, Mia’s right arm went around Tom’s waist.

  “So, there’s something I need to tell you,” she looked up at him.

  “You’re a lesbian?” His bad boy smile was disarming.

  Mia laughed, “Not yet anyway. But it could happen.”

  “What do you need to tell me?”

  With a deep breath came the admission, “I’m jailbait.”

>   Their pace came to a screeching halt as he turned to her. “Ok, that I did not expect. But you’re a sophomore.” He was clearly thrown by her admission. “So, how old are you?”

  “I’m seventeen.”

  “No way. You’re just fucking with me,” convinced Mia was kidding.

  “I’ll be eighteen in July.”

  Pushing his hair off of his forehead, Tom was clearly agitated and thrown for a loop. Shaking his head, he looked at Mia and smiled, “You’re serious. You’re seventeen.”

  Mia nodded, devil smile at full tilt. She practically could see the thoughts racing through his head, as he tried to recover from the ramifications of this new tidbit of knowledge.

  Tom shook his head at Mia. “You’re amused, aren’t you?”

  “Very.”

  “You are trouble, you know that?” Tom was beginning to recover.

  “Mmm-hmm, and now you know it, too.”

  “I knew you were trouble the minute I laid eyes on you, Mia. I just didn’t know quite how much.”

  They started to walk again. Tom was shaking his head and laughing to himself. He looked down at Mia and she looked up at him, smiling. Grabbing her hand, he pulled her several yards to the side of a red brick building, pinning her up against it.

  “Am I going to regret this?” His smoldering eyes made her catch her breath.

  Mia nodded, “Absofuckinglutely.”

  And with that, his lips crushed down on hers and she hungrily opened her mouth to let him in. Her first thought was how different he felt than Schooner, how different he tasted, but that thought rapidly dissipated as her fingers burrowed into his unruly, dark hair and his hips pinned her against the wall. Letting her right hand slide down his back, she pressed him into her so that she could feel him getting hard. Feel the power of what she was doing to him, how much he wanted her, ached to be inside of her. You want me. You want me. And surprisingly it didn’t make the hurt go away, but the ‘fuck you’ felt good. And with both hands now on his ass, she could feel the outline of his entire cock. So hard. And she couldn’t wait to have him.

  Breathless and breaking their kiss, Tom pushed the hair from Mia’s face. Laying his forehead against hers, he breathed deeply to refill his lungs. “You know you’re going to drive me crazy for the rest of the semester.”

  “Mmm-hmm.” Mia smiled up at him, her hands still holding him firmly against her, visions of him fucking her up against the brick wall, out in public, making her want him even more.

  Running his thumb along her cheekbone, Tom planted a soft kiss on Mia’s lips, “Ok, Jailbait, I need to get you back to your dorm, safely,” he chuckled, “and then I need to go home and take a very cold shower.”

  Outside Mia’s dorm people were milling about. With a smoldering look that said, “I want to fuck you every which way till Sunday,” Tom squeezed Mia’s shoulder and asked, “When did you say your birthday was again?”

  Mia laughed, “Does tomorrow work?”

  Laughing, Tom leaned down and put his lips to her ear, their softness sending an electric jolt through Mia’s body, as they barely grazed her lobe. “Night, Jailbait,” in the softest of whispers. And with a smile, he was gone.

  Mia stood there watching as he disappeared into the night, thinking, “That man knows exactly what he’s doing. Just what I need.”

  Chapter Twelve

  Mia and Rob were hanging out on the couch of the suite room in Mia’s dorm. “He seriously didn’t give you an assignment for us?”

  “No, he was really hungry,” understatement, Mia chuckled to herself, “and he’d just come from a department meeting. He just wanted to shoot the shit. So, when he didn’t bring up an assignment, I certainly wasn’t going to.”

  Rob leaned back on the worn couch, “It’s like a freaking vacation. Sweet.”

  “Hey guys.” Mia’s suitemate, Joni, came in from class. Dropping her book laden backpack to the floor, she threw herself on the couch next to Rob. Rob turned to her with a smile. Mia could feel the tension building in the small room. It was becoming apparent that Rob’s increasingly frequent suggestion that they work in Mia’s suite had everything to do with Joni and not because it was a quiet place to work.

  Mia could see them together. They were both from small, upstate towns, both bordered on brilliant, and were quirky as all get out. Mia looked at the two of them, smiling.

  “What are you smiling at, Silver?” Rob was starting to blush.

  “I have a brilliant, brilliant idea,” she began, the devil grin escalating to full tilt. “I’m so fucking brilliant!” She popped up and bounded into her bedroom.

  Emerging a few minutes later with a towel, scissors, comb and spray bottle filled with water, she stood before Rob, “Time for your makeover, Handsome.”

  Rob groaned and Joni clapped with excitement. She was on board to see what was under all the mountain man hair and scruff.

  “You’re not really doing this.”

  “Au contraire, my friend. We are really doing this. Go sit in that chair. Now.”

  “Bossy bitch,” he grumbled, but moved off the couch to the chair.

  Mia and Joni high-fived and began their handiwork. Mia sprayed Rob’s hair with the water, then Joni combed it straight.

  Mia turned to Joni, “Do you think we need to be high for this?”

  “No, you crazy bitches.” Rob bellowed, eliciting evil cackles.

  Joni disappeared into her room and emerged, joint and lighter in hand. She handed them to Rob and patted him on the shoulder, “I think you’re the one that needs this.”

  Rob snatched the joint from Joni and lit it. After his third hit he grumbled, “I can’t believe I’m letting you do this.”

  “Shut up and stop Bogarting that joint.” Mia combed his hair and grabbed the joint out of his hand with her free hand.

  She passed the joint to Joni and picked up the scissors.

  “I can’t believe I’m letting you do this to me stoned.”

  “Trust me, whatever the outcome, it will be an improvement.” And she whacked his shoulder before making the first cut.

  Twenty minutes later, Rob’s perfectly layered hair made him look like a different person. She then began on his beard, kneeling before him. When she was done, Mia looked at her best friend and was struck by a myriad of emotions. Under all that unkempt scruff, the guy with the denim blue eyes was surprisingly and incredibly handsome. A thought Mia never would have equated to Rob. Not only was he handsome, he was attractive. Attractive to Mia. Rob Ryan had been transformed into a head turning cutie.

  “Why are you looking at me like that?” Mia’s look was making him uncomfortable.

  “You’re gorgeous. How did I not know you were gorgeous? You are like a totally hot guy. Holy fucking shit.”

  Joni came around and gasped. Scruffy teddy bear Rob Ryan, who had dropped weight when he was sick with the flu, cleaned up beyond real nice. Rob Ryan now fell into the “I’d fuck him” hot boy category.

  Rob got up from the chair and headed to the bathroom to see what all the fuss was about. Mia and Joni stood in the suite room, mouths hanging open, muttering a steady string of, “Oh my God.”

  Rob emerged smiling, “I should’ve let you do this a long time ago.”

  “No shit.” Mia smiled, but was feeling a tragic sense of loss. Her attraction to Rob had been to his personality, his intelligence, the way their wits meshed. But it had never been physical, which was why they were able to work together without conflict. And now, now she wanted to pull him into her room and fuck his brains out. But that window of opportunity was long gone. His interest was clearly in Joni, and all of the sudden Mia felt all alone again and like a third wheel. She felt like she was losing her best friend. Again. “You are so fucking handsome. Who knew?”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Tom was waiting at a table in the study area of the Student Center when Mia and Rob entered. A bemused and approving look on his handsome face acknowledged Rob’s new appearance.

>   “Ryan, you look like a totally different person.”

  “Silver’s good with a pair of scissors.” He looked pleased.

  “And it’s best that you remember that.” Mia smiled at Tom.

  “I’ll bear that in mind,” he was giving nothing away.

  At the end of their two hour session, Tom gave Mia and Rob their final assignment of the semester, which they would have two weeks to work on before turning in what would be a simultaneous first and last draft.

  He packed his papers into his leather Danish schoolbag and checked his watch. “So, you’ve got a break from me to work on this assignment, no class next week. I’ll see you both in two weeks.” And he was off.

  Mia was breathless. What the fuck? Was this the same man who had her pinned up against a building, grinding his hard cock into her, nicknaming her “Jailbait,” laughing with her over cold Indian beer as she ate from his plate? She could feel his tongue in her mouth, so greedy and possessive and she felt bereft. And foolish. And alone.

  She and Rob walked together back to her dorm. And she felt alone. Joni was hanging out in her room with the door open when they arrived at the suite. Rob went in to go hang out with her and Mia went into her own room and closed the door.

  Tom was fucking with her.

  Her ambivalent feelings about Rob (and some level of jealousy over his growing relationship with Joni) were fucking with her. He was graduating and she was losing her best friend. Again. She was really starting to hate spring. It wasn’t a rebirth for her. It was a season of loss. A season of goodbyes. Betrayals of the heart. Pain. Loneliness. Spring was overrated.

  She tried hard to keep him out of her consciousness because she knew it did her no good. He was 3,000 miles away with a life of his own. She wondered if she would ever recognize something good again, or if she would let it slip away because it didn’t feel like what they had. Would she recognize the real thing? And she silently prayed that one day she would feel again what she had felt with him. And if she didn’t, she knew she would rather be alone.