He opened one eye and looked at her. “Always,” he said. “It’s why I love you.”
She sucked her bottom lip. “Is it always like that?” she asked.
He sighed as the breeze from the open doors wafted over them. “Well, usually there’s a lot more foreplay. And you don’t pull my hair out by its roots.” He rubbed the top of his head.
“Sorry,” she said. “I didn’t want you to stop.”
“I wasn’t going to.”
“I didn’t know that. I wasn’t going to risk it.”
He blew out a long breath. “I was only trying to do the right thing.”
“I didn’t want to do the right thing.”
“I gathered.”
“I like sex.”
That made him laugh. “Me too.”
“So we’re always pretty… you know… steamy?”
“That was mild by comparison.”
Her eyes widened. “Seriously.”
“Girl, normally I’d have fucked you into next week and banged your head against the headboard. That was me being gentle.”
“Holy moly.”
“I told you. You do something to me.”
She shivered. “I needed that, Rafe.”
He turned his head to look at her. “Do you feel better now?”
“Much.”
He met her gaze for a long moment.
Her smile faded, and she gave a little shake of her head.
He rolled his head back and looked up the ceiling.
Her memories weren’t coming back. If making love like that wasn’t going to trigger them, he couldn’t imagine what would.
Chapter Eighteen
Phoebe parked her car down from the bridal shop and turned off the engine. Then she sat there for a moment, gathering her thoughts.
For the first time since she’d come out of hospital, she felt as if she was getting back to normal. Being with Rafe for four days had been amazing, but she was sure that returning to her everyday routine would finally eliminate the feeling of living in a science fiction novel that continued to plague her.
She missed Rafe already, though. She’d heard him rise and shower at seven a.m., but had been too sleepy to rouse while he dressed. He’d kissed her on the forehead before he left for his shift at eight, but hadn’t attempted to wake her.
She was kind of glad he hadn’t, a little embarrassed by what had taken place the night before. Now the fever had died down, she felt puzzled by how she’d acted. She would’ve assumed it was brought on by the brain injury, but he’d implied she was always like that. She thought about the way he’d fought with her, and how it had felt to have him sliding inside her, his muscles bunching and flexing beneath her fingertips as he thrust. Her body stirred, and she shifted uncomfortably. She’d watched him at the bar that evening, talking with his friends, and had been mesmerized by his husky chuckle, his wry sense of humor, the stubble on his jaw, his casual sexiness. No, maybe she wasn’t surprised by her behavior. She had a feeling she was always going to superheat whenever Rafe Masters walked into the room.
But it was an odd relief to be on her own for once, and to be free of his presence. She’d enjoyed the drive into town, and she was looking forward to finding out a little of her old life that didn’t involve him.
She got out of the car and locked it, crossed the road, and opened the door of the bridal shop. It gave a little jingle as she entered, and she stopped as the door swung shut behind her.
Once again, she was struck by the sensation of light and beauty as the sun streamed in across the white and cream gowns, bouncing off sequins and beads, dazzling her a little.
“Phoebe!” Her mother came out of the dressing rooms and walked toward her, holding out her hands in welcome. “Sweetheart. How are you?”
“I’m good, thanks. Feeling better every day.”
“You look much better.” Noelle searched her face as if she was peering through Phoebe’s eyes into the dusty attics of her brain. “Any sign of the memory coming back?”
Phoebe pressed her lips together and shook her head. “Not yet.”
“Oh well. Plenty of time. It’s only been a week. Rafe gone back to work?”
“Yes, he’s on days today and tomorrow.”
“How have things been?” Phoebe blushed, and Noelle’s gaze turned wry. “Like that, is it? Well, that doesn’t surprise me. You always were like a couple of rabbits.”
“Mum!”
“I thought he might have waited a bit longer. I guess he couldn’t keep his hands off you.”
“No,” Phoebe muttered, deciding not to point out to her mother that it had been the other way around. “Anyway… I thought I might spend some time in the workroom familiarizing myself.”
“Of course…” Noelle hesitated.
“What is it?”
“I just wondered… Is it worth you doing that if you’re going to be leaving soon?”
Phoebe blinked. She’d completely forgotten about her impending move to Auckland. “Well, that’s not for a few weeks yet, is it? I’d like to know more about the shop and how we set it up.”
“Of course. Oh, by the way, I have something I want to show you. I didn’t want to do it while Rafe was here, obviously.” She beckoned for Phoebe to follow her, and they went into the changing rooms, and then through to a large office where Noelle obviously hung out when she wasn’t serving. She closed the door, revealing an item hanging on the back.
Phoebe’s jaw dropped. “Is that…”
“Your wedding dress.” Noelle’s eyes shone. “Want to see it?”
Swallowing hard, Phoebe nodded, and Noelle unzipped the plastic cover and removed it.
Phoebe stared in awe at the beautiful gown. It was full length alabaster satin, off-the-shoulder, and covered with a layer of the most exquisite lace she’d ever seen, each part of the pattern highlighted with tiny shining pearls.
“Did we make this?” she asked, coming forward to examine it.
“Of course. You and Bianca have spent hours on it.”
Phoebe bit her lip. “It’s gorgeous. But… I don’t know if I’ll ever get to wear it.” The night before had been fun, but that didn’t mean she was ready to commit to Rafe for life.
Noelle covered the gown with the plastic again. “There’s still time, sweetheart. I’ve kept an eye on most of the organization, and let everyone know the situation. You wanted a small-scale wedding, so it’s not as if there are thousands of people and millions of dollars involved. All the companies have said they are willing to wait until a day or two before to confirm whether it’s going ahead, and most people who’ve been invited are keeping the day free.” She rubbed her daughter’s arm. “Anyway, have you had breakfast?”
“Um… no.”
“Well look, why don’t I get Bianca out of the workroom and we’ll have a coffee and a muffin together with Roberta?”
“Okay.”
Phoebe waited a little nervously while Noelle found Bianca. It was clear that her relationship with her twin had changed over the last eight years. Since coming out of hospital, she’d texted Bianca most days—sometimes Bianca had replied, sometimes not. It was nothing like when they’d communicated almost constantly. Of course, maybe it was just due to growing up and having lives of their own, but even so… Again, Phoebe had a niggly feeling deep inside that something was wrong, but she couldn’t have said why.
But Bianca emerged with a huge smile, and came over and hugged her, and Phoebe pushed away her doubt, thinking that her lack of memory was making her paranoid.
“You look amazing,” Bianca said, stepping back to admire her sister. “So much better than when you first came in.”
“I think Rafe’s been supplying his own medicine,” Noelle said with a grin, leading her daughters through to the cafe.
“Ha!” Bianca rolled her eyes. “Didn’t take you long to get back to normal, then.”
“Does everyone know more ab
out my love life than me?” Phoebe complained as they stepped down onto the cream tiles of the cafe.
“Difficult not to,” Bianca said. “When we all went away in a beach house last summer, you two were so loud I had to wear earplugs.”
“Oh Jesus.”
Roberta laughed as she overheard the conversation and came forward to hug her sister. “Take no notice,” she said, kissing her on the cheek. “It’s wonderful to see you looking better.”
“Lattes all around please,” Noelle said, “and muffins, too. She needs to keep her strength up.”
“The steaks will help with that,” Phoebe said impishly, wanting to see their reactions. Sure enough, they all stared at her, startled. “I forgot I was a vegetarian,” she said.
“Well.” Noelle cleared her throat. “I suppose the protein is good for the brain at the moment.”
“That’s my excuse for eating bacon, and I’m sticking to it.”
Laughing, they all took a seat at a table, and Roberta started making the coffee. Noelle went over to help with the muffins.
“So…” Bianca took her sister’s hand. “You’re feeling better.”
“I am. I wondered if I could come with you to the workroom for a while today?”
“Of course!” Bianca beamed at her. “I’d love that.”
“And I want you to tell me all about setting up the Bay of Islands Brides. It looks so amazing. I need to know the whole story.”
“I suppose you don’t remember anything,” Bianca said.
“Not a thing,” Phoebe said cheerfully. She watched her sister exchange a glance with her mother at the counter. Unease fluttered inside her again. She was imagining it, wasn’t she? They weren’t really hiding anything from her. “Rafe told me about our university course,” she said, determined to ignore it. “We obviously did really well.”
“We had a great time.” Bianca accepted a muffin from their mother. “It was clear by our second year that we were going to do something related to weddings. We both loved wedding dresses. I loved the shape of them, designing the fit and flare, playing with sleek lines and meringues. You adored the intricate work, the beading, and the embroidery. We talked about making our own gowns all through our third year, and then we won the World of Wearable Arts award for our elven gown, and I think then we knew we definitely wanted to make more dresses.”
“You used to talk about it a lot to me and your father,” Noelle said, bringing over the remaining muffins and taking a seat. “Originally, you were just going to design individual dresses and sell them, but I’d always fancied running a shop. We had some money put away, and your father said what’s the point in having it in the bank when it could be doing some good? There are no pockets in a shroud.” She stopped and met Phoebe’s eyes. As always when Phoebe thought about her father, she felt a twist inside and a flare of incredulousness that he wasn’t there anymore. “Sorry,” Noelle said, obviously seeing it on her face.
“It’s okay. It still surprises me when I think he’s not here. I guess we all took it pretty hard.”
Again, Bianca and Noelle exchanged a look. She wasn’t imagining it.
“Yes,” Noelle said. “It was difficult for everyone.”
Phoebe watched Roberta bring their tray of coffees over and distribute them. It was still early, and the shop was quiet, so she sat with them for a moment, and they all sipped their drinks.
“I have to ask you,” Phoebe said quietly. “Is there something I should know? Something you’re not telling me? I keep getting the feeling that I’m missing something, but I don’t know what it is.”
Noelle took a muffin and broke it in half on her plate. “Not that I know of, sweetheart.”
“It’s just difficult for us too,” Roberta said. “A lot has changed, and it’s funny to think you don’t remember any of it.”
“Like what?”
“Like Dad dying. And what happened to you after that.”
“You mean how I took up running and that sort of thing?”
“You changed a lot,” Bianca said. “You were like a different person, sometimes.”
Phoebe sipped her coffee and then had a mouthful of muffin. They were tiptoeing around her, she could feel it. “Something tells me you didn’t like that Phoebe much,” she joked.
“Rubbish,” Noelle scoffed. “It was bound to happen sooner or later, one or more of you moving on with your own lives. We’ve been very close for a long time, and it was a bit of a shock, that’s all, when you announced you were moving away.”
The muffin was lovely and moist, full of peaches and cream cheese, but Phoebe’s appetite had disappeared, and she leaned back in her chair. She picked up a few crumbs with her finger and licked them off. “I don’t know what to say to you about that. Obviously, Rafe got his promotion, and I suppose I had to go with him.”
“Of course you did,” Noelle said. “He’s your whole world, and that’s how it should be.”
Phoebe glanced at Roberta, who smiled, and Bianca, who was looking into her coffee cup. “Do you… like him?”
Bianca looked up, and they all looked surprised. “Of course,” Bianca said, but a touch of color appeared in her cheeks.
Phoebe frowned. “I just wondered if that’s what was wrong…”
“We love Rafe,” Roberta said, “and he’s just perfect for you. He’s taking you away from us, that’s all. We built the shop together, and we’re sad that you’re going, but we want you to be happy.”
But Bianca looked back at her cup and stirred the coffee with her spoon.
Phoebe didn’t say anything else, forcing herself to eat a few more mouthfuls of muffin as the others discussed stock coming in that morning, and what they had planned for the day. But she kept thinking about that flush in Bianca’s cheeks. Did she like Rafe in that way? Or was it the opposite—did she hate him for breaking the relationship with her twin sister?
The door jangled, and a couple of young women came into the bridal shop, pausing in the doorway with reverent awe as they studied the line of gowns. Noelle finished off her coffee and rose, touched her daughter’s hair fondly, then went off to serve them. Roberta stood too, and picked up the plates with crumbs to take them back to the kitchen.
“I suppose we should get to work,” Bianca said.
“In a minute,” Phoebe replied. “I just want to say… is there anything you want to tell me? Anything we need to sort out, the two of us?”
Bianca’s expression softened. “No, of course not.”
“You’re sure? I feel… funny. Like there’s something wrong. I miss you.” Tears pricked Phoebe’s eyes at the thought that her relationship with her twin had somehow soured.
“There’s nothing wrong.” Bianca closed her hands over her sister’s. “You’ve pulled away from me the last few years, that’s all. It makes perfect sense—you have Rafe, and I suppose I get jealous sometimes because he’s gorgeous, and I don’t have anyone of my own yet. And now you’re moving away… The thing is, I love the shop, and we had so many plans.” She bit her lip. “I admit that sometimes I feel resentful and angry toward Rafe because of that. But it’s only fleeting. Roberta’s right—we do want you to be happy.”
Phoebe tried to blink her tears away. “I don’t know that I want to go now,” she whispered. “But I don’t want to disappoint Rafe. If it’s really what he wants, and he can’t get promotion here because the station’s too small…”
“Oh God, you have to go with him, I understand. I’m just sad, that’s all.”
Phoebe was sad too, and a tad resentful. Why was it she who had to give up her dream for Rafe? Why wasn’t he content staying in Kerikeri? They had a home and a busy social life. He’d said he wasn’t ambitious, but he obviously was or else he wouldn’t be throwing away what they had because the grass was greener on the other side.
“Don’t be blue,” Bianca said. “Come on, let’s go in the workroom. That always cheers you up.”
Ph
oebe let her sister lead her through the bridal shop and out the back into the workroom. It was only now that she realized they’d built a viewing platform at the top with a railing, so visitors could watch and talk to them while they were sewing. Bianca opened the gate and closed it behind them, and they descended into the workroom.
“I’ll give you a tour,” Bianca said.
Phoebe followed her around as her sister showed her where they kept the patterns, and the shelf of notebooks where they sketched their ideas. There were large folders of magazines with sticky notes highlighting dresses they liked, or bits of dresses—a neckline here, a hemline there, a ring around a particular piece of embroidery that Phoebe had liked. She recognized her own handwriting, but didn’t remember writing any of the notes.
There were shelves of material, carefully wrapped to protect against dust and the strong sunlight, and Phoebe ran careful fingers over the rolls of satin, silk, and tulle in various shades of white and cream.
Then, eventually, she went over to the drawers of beads and buttons she’d spotted the other day. Bianca left her to it, and she pulled a stool up in front of the unit and started looking through the drawers. They were so beautiful, like little gemstones, all glittering and shining, and there were tiny shells too, and sequins, mini pearls, little round buttons, and thousands of different white and cream beads, some the size of a pin head, others as big as her thumbnail.
Her heart swelled, and tears pricked her eyes yet again. She loved it here. She felt so happy, and she knew she could easily sit there for hours day after day, playing with these beads and stitching them onto the dresses.
They’d obviously spent years getting to where they were right now. So why was she giving it all up for a man?
Of course it wasn’t any man, it was Rafe, who set her alight with just a look, and to whom she’d obviously been devoted from the start. Instinctively, she knew she would have followed him wherever he asked, around the world if necessary.
But this was her dream, her life. Her family were here, and her friends. Was it right that he’d asked her to leave it all behind for him?
Chapter Nineteen
Bride in Trouble Page 15